Prologue
Draco
Draco Malfoy knew something was wrong the moment he woke up. He didn't know what it was, but he certainly felt odd and weird. Ignoring it, he then felt a throbbing pain in his head. Last night…what had he done last night? Shortly, a series of memories came flooding inside his consciousness. The Leaky Cauldron…rain…Ginny, his best friend. That night, he finally confessed what he truly felt about her. The thought of it brought chills to him, but he couldn't help but smiling. Ever since he and Ginny became friends, he knew something would develop inside him, and though he sometimes admit he never felt that developing emotion, he knew he was going to fall in love with her. And just last night, he risked everything and told her everything. How he finds her cute whenever she only eats the red M&Ms in a packet. How he quietly explained to her how much she makes him happy whenever they get bored creating articles for the Daily Prophet. And how he loves the way she spoiled him in her little ways.
At the thought, Draco slowly felt heat rushing into his face. And then he realized that he was smiling. Feeling stupid, he looked at his alarm clock. 5:10 AM, it read. Good Lord, he thought, I must be ready for work. He jumped out of his bed and proceeded to the bathroom.
His flat was not something he had always been proud of. Some wallpapers were already tearing out, and he haven't even bothered to have it repaired. He just moved in here a few months ago, but he still had half of his possessions locked up in their respective boxes. Piles of video tapes quietly stood by his favorite oak cabinet, which was carefully alphabetically arranged. This, by far, were his favorite possessions. Tons of paper looked ragged and messy beneath his desk. A small rug greeted him just as he entered the bathroom.
"Goodness!" he exclaimed as he saw his own reflection. For some reason, he didn't feel like he was himself. And honestly, he felt dead. He blinked. Nothing happened. His long, pale face came right in staring at him. His silver blonde hair was still at its normal state: tousled, but clean. Though his pale blue eyes looked like it had been battered, he didn't think that it was just because of them that made him feel weird inside. Why am I feeling so strange? He asked.
He slowly opened the faucet and washed his face. Maybe it's just a mood swing or something, he therefore concluded. But, no, that can't be. I am not moody. That definition only applies to girls most of the time. He can prove this in Ginny.
Forgetting about his best friend for a while, he slowly grabbed his weighing scale underneath the sink. He had been watching his diet from time to time, afraid of being overweight or underweight. His weight was always 65 kilograms, and for him, that was fine. No more, no less.
But as he laid his feet onto the object, the weighing scale did not budge. The red pointer didn't move, not one bit. He tried to bounce a little, telling himself that the red pointer just got stuck. But after a few times jumping, nothing changed.
I can't possibly weigh 0 kilograms! He thought, as chills ran down his spine.
Trying to forget it, he then took a short shower, and went down to work.
Waiting for the magical train to arrive, Draco cannot help but think of what would happen on that day. Was his best friend ever going to greet him with a cup of coffee on his desk? Or wouldn't she? Maybe not, he thought. He concluded that she might be too freaked out to even care to do that right now. Would she still remind him of how long his write-up should be, just as she would every single morning?
"You're a great writer, Draco," she said. "You should write a longer article. I'm sure everyone will love what you'll write. I know I did."
Just as the train pulled to stop, he found himself smiling at himself again. He sat the end of the subway train and collected his thoughts once more. He again recalled the time he confessed everything to Ginny. He remembered he was blabbering shaking uncontrollably at that time, telling her tales of how strange love crept inside of him whenever she tried to do something good for him. She just looked at him uncomfortably and said she appreciated that he finally confessed a secret he had been keeping for years. Until she got to the point where she said that he and she should remain as friends. Pain slowly regained its strength in his heart. Water came into his eyes. His expression saddened.
All his life, he had never felt that way to anyone. Not even to Pansy Parkinson, whom he was seeing during his stay in Hogwarts. Also, he had never imagined or planned that he was going to fall in love with a girl whose family hated his. And whom he hated and loathed before. And also, he had never expected that Ginny would become his best friends, after all the years that happened before they even became friends. And now that she sort of rejected him, he didn't know how to recover. It was painful, but at the same time relieving, since he finally said everything that weighed down on his chest.
After the time she told him, Draco found himself asking the question, "Was confessing to her a right thing to do? Does she hate me?" and a million questions like that. He wasn't quite so sure of Ginny's true feelings towards him. But he knew she looked at him as a dear friend, but then again, sometimes he found her acting quite strange. Like she was responding to his signals. And after a while, she does something to take it back, which distracts and annoys Draco a bit.
But before he could think of anything else, he suddenly spotted an old man walking towards him. The old man turned his back on him and bent, as if to sit on Draco's lap. "Whoa—" he started, trying to let the man know there was a human sitting on where he was trying to sit. But no, the old man sat down, just as Draco jumped off the seat, almost stumbling.
Annoyed, he eyed the stranger with a glare. But for some weird reason, the old man didn't see him. It was as if he didn't exist.
"People these days are so insensitive," he muttered under his breath. And he recalled how Ginny would say that to him a million times a day.
Again, he smiled.
The Daily Prophet office was only occupied by one employee by the time he had arrived. It was Hermione Granger, a mortal enemy he had during his Hogwarts years, but finally became his friend when he explained about everything. He admired her punctuality more than anything else. Creeping up beside her, he told her, "Early again, Granger?"
A small, soft humming was the response. When did Hermione ever respond with a hum? She usually responds with a statement. Not usually, but always.
"Weird," said Draco, giving a laugh. "You respond with a hum now, 'Mione."
No response.
Blinking, Draco went in front of her. She was slowly arranging a pile of reports they were going to publish on that day. He then snapped his fingers in front of her face and said, "Hey?"
But Hermione did not look up. Instead, she grabbed the pile of reports and proceeded to the publishing room. Draco scratched his head. He recalled the last time he spent with her, and from his memory, he was sure he didn't do anything wrong to make her angry towards him. It was definitely not about the years he treated her like a total moron. He knew, deep inside him, that she had forgiven him about that.
After a minute, he saw someone else entering the office. It was Ron Weasley now, his best friend's brother. He looked dead pale and Draco could see he trembled. Ron never does this until he was afraid of something. Draco predicted that he saw a spider while he was going to work. Laughing at the thought, Draco decided not to talk to him yet and proceeded to his cubicle.
A cup of coffee greeted him on his desk. Grinning, Draco knew Ginny was around already. I wonder where she is right now, he thought. He wanted to see her, and at the same time, he didn't. He wasn't quite so sure how she would act towards him, after what he had done last night.
"Ron—what urgent thing were you going to tell me? I didn't like the way your voice sounded," an alarmed voice he knew. Almost immediately, he went out of his cubicle and tried to find who possessed that voice. A moment later, he found himself staring at his best friend. He felt peaceful and at ease when he saw her, sighing with satisfaction. But peering into her face, he could tell that something was wrong. Her eyebrows wrinkled in a worried manner, her usual red lips were now pale, and her freckles weren't that visible anymore. Something was definitely wrong.
Draco always knew her as someone bubbly and happy. Hardly does she ever become worried or sad. She believes that we only go life once, and we should always make the best out of it. Before he could even say a word to greet her, Ron came in rushing towards her, as Hermione followed slowly behind him, silently sobbing. "Gin," whispered Ron, his voice cracking.
What the heck is happening? Draco thought, hard.
"Draco's dead," said Ron, his voice cracking worse than before. Ginny stopped dead in her tracks. And so did Draco.
"I'm not dead!" Draco said, defensively. "You're pulling a terrible prank on your sister, Ron. I'm standing here!" He waved a small gesture, but Ron didn't seem to see him.
He pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it over to Ginny, who took it, trembling. Draco peered over her shoulder to see what he had given to her.
It was a newspaper clipping:
Car Accident: A Life Lost
Draco Malfoy, 27, a known columnist in the popular newspaper, the Daily Prophet, was found dead in the streets of Malcolm St. earlier this morning. Police officials said that a drunk driver's truck smashed right into Malfoy's car, causing it to slam against one of the highway's light poles. The collision was hard, resulting in a complete brain rapture of Draco Malfoy's, resulting in his death.
Draco did not read further more. It was all too much.
I'm dead, he told himself. I'm actually a ghost.
He slowly raised his hand and looked at it. It was quite transparent. He saw how the blue carpet was designed just beneath his hands. He slowly walked up to the wall and pushed his hand through it. It went right in. Stumbling, Draco pulled himself back and went back to Ginny, who was now crying uncontrollably. Hermione held her closely and Ron slowly patted her back.
One by one, employees rushed inside the office and heard the news.
"The hospital said he fought for his life for about 5 hours, but he didn't make it," explained Ron to everyone who asked, as Ginny sobbed uncontrollably in his shoulder.
For Draco, it was the most terrifying scene he had ever seen since the death of Lord Voldemort. Everyone was actually sympathizing over him. It was only now he realized how meaningful he had been to certain people. And it haunted him more than anything, for he was always used to not having any attention. And it was only Ginny who first believed in him.
Ginny.
His heart sank. What about Ginny?
More than anything in his life, he wanted to make her feel happy. He wanted to be with her, grow old with her, anything to do with her. And now reality slowly came into him: that he won't be able to do that anymore. His long, lost hopes just clicked away. Everything faded away.
Ginny
Ginny Weasley sat down in front of her computer, trying to answer the questions many wizards and witches as her. She was the "friendship" columnist in the paper, and had nothing to do but to answer two important friendship questions, which at the same time, can entertain people.
"Hmmm…should I confess what I feel towards my best friend?" she read through her e-mail. As she read it, she remembered the time when Draco had done this to her, just hours before he died. At the thought, she knew it wasn't right to answer this question yet, for it had been only 2 months since her best friend died. And plus, she knew she sort of hurt him when she responded to his confession. It wouldn't be fair to Draco.
She skipped the question, but did not delete that message.
"Going home time, Gin," said a voice behind her. Startled, she jumped and turned around. Hermione grinned up to her and said, "You should take some snack or something. You looked like you never eat anymore."
"That's not true," said Ginny, laughing weakly. "Anyway, I'm almost done."
This was obviously a downright lie. She hasn't even found two questions that she would answer that could intrigue people.
"Anyway, Ron and I are eating out for a snack. Want to come?" asked Hermione. Ginny shook her head and said, "No, thanks. I need to go home and then pay Draco a visit."
"Ahh," said Hermione, nodding her head in agreement. "Say hi to him for me Gin, okay? Take care of yourself." With that, Hermione said good bye to her with a small wave, which she responded with a weak smile. She turned back to her computer.
She knew Hermione was right. She never ate the same way before. One reason was because there were so many demands in the part she was in. A lot of people call her up and tell her to answer their questions immediately, which pretty much irritated her more than anything. For her, patience was a virtue. And people who have not mastered this virtue yet were the people she would never want to meet. Second reason was because she was not yet recovering at the fact that her best friend was gone. Sure, she smiles and laughs now, but not like before. She was so used to having him around, and having him as a lunch partner, in particular. For almost 10 years, they had been together…having the same job, playing poker every now and then, lie on their apartment's roof (both live on different flats, though), eating Oreos with peanut butter, and criticizing about how beautiful Veelas were.
Ginny slowly laughed at the thought. She knew Draco hated Veelas more than anything else in the world. To him, "Physical beauty is disgusting. It's better when you have a clean heart and have that mix in."
Ginny sighed. She was proud of herself transforming Draco into a peaceful person. She was glad he let her to. A decade ago, she remembers herself sitting in the corner of a room when Draco rushed inside that same room. He was crying at that time. For the fear that the Dark Lord would be soon taking him away.
At first, Ginny knew he didn't know she was there. But she muttered a small, "Malfoy?", which made the boy jump in fear, which also resulted in anger.
But it was only in the part where he helped in saving Harry from the Dark Lord that made her think that Draco could change. He turned his back against everyone who supported him…his family, friends, and Voldemort. It was crucial, Ginny remembered, for she was there witnessing everything. It was only him, Harry, and Voldemort who remained with strength. And before Ginny's eyes closed with weakness, she saw that as Voldemort was going to kill Draco, Harry regained some strength and muttered the Killing Curse just right behind the Dark Lord, which caused his immortal death.
The thought haunted her. She slowly shook her head and turned off her computer. After all, she had many tons of questions that she answered saved up in her file. If she can't find a good one, she can always get from her saved file and publish it.
And she was glad Draco was there to help her answer almost all of her saved "question and answer" friendship troubles.
Ginny entered her flat with her stomach growling with anger. She headed towards the kitchen, and saw nothing inside it but a packet of M&Ms. Shit, she thought. I need to get some groceries. She slowly reached for the packet and opened it and dropped every single piece of it into her palm. She only got the red ones, and started chewing.
Suddenly, she felt air in her hair. Curious, she turned around and saw no one was there. She then resumed eating her favorite colored chocolates. It was only Draco who knew about that secret: of how she only liked eating red M&Ms than any other color.
"Why red M&Ms? Not yellow or blue?" asked Draco one day, as she carefully sorted out the colorful pieces of the M&Ms.
"It's a shallow reason, but I've always liked red," said Ginny, grinning. "Anything red suits me. And plus, I think the red M&Ms tastes so much better than the other ones."
"Are you sure?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow. Ginny nodded. "Go ahead and see."
Draco picked up a blue M&M, and ate it. Next, he grabbed a red one and ate it. Ginny waited for his comment, and said, "You take so long in eating an M&M. Just grind it with your teeth."
"Savor every taste it gives you," said Draco, grinning. "Anyway, they taste pretty much the same. You see, it's only food coloring, Gin."
"Yeah, but for me, red M&Ms taste the best," said Ginny in a matter-of-factly tone of voice.
Once more, Ginny found herself laughing at the memories she and her best friend had together. She really misses him. Sometimes, before she gets home, Draco would go inside her apartment (they both had keys for each of their flats) and surprise her with something. Once, he magically transformed everything she owned into red.
"You're like inside the heart," said Ginny, laughing as she eyed her flat with pure admiration. Draco winked at her and said, "Think about this whole flat as my heart. And think of the person who is inside it other than me. That's the person who's inside my heart."
Ginny smiled. Oh, Draco. I miss you so much.
Once more, she found herself twirling around her seat to see if anyone was there in her flat. Weird feelings overcame her.
"Draco?" she whispered. But there was no reply.
Feeling stupid, she shook her head. She got up and slowly went inside her room, which was painted creamy pink. For some reason, it looked very dull and boring. She sighed and went up to her desk, where in she found two keys laying on it. One was for her flat, and the other was for Draco's flat.
Hastily, she grabbed it. I'll pay his flat a visit.
Since Draco's death, Ginny never really thought of visiting his flat. She was too scared, first of all. Second, she didn't want so many memories to come inside his head all at once. But now that she was ready, she opened the front door and let herself in.
It was still sparkling clean. She remembered how Draco's mom, Narcissa Malfoy, ordered the apartment's owner to let everything he owned to where it was. And according to her, she will pay for the rent twice as much as long as the owner won't do anything to it. Personally, Ginny thought it was great idea. It made her feel Draco was still there, in a small way.
She went up to Draco's collection of videos, which was all titled. She knew she could see any of them, and since she was sure she was pretty much in each of them, she never really tried watch all of them. Maybe I would, she thought. Draco told me to watch everything, but that was only if he wasn't around and see me watch it.
She stood up and slowly ran her fingers through the many, many video collections of Draco. Ginny's M&Ms strategies, Ginny's 23rd birthday, MY birthday, Daily Prophet Reunion, Christmas Party, Ginny's 100 faces, and so much more. But what struck her the most was the video entitled, To My Best Friend, Ginny.
She grabbed it and turned the TV on. Carefully, she put the tape inside the player, and watched it. It first started with Draco adjusting the camera, and finally letting him seat in front of his favorite couch.
"Hi, Gin," he started. "I don't know when you'll ever go to see this video, but I hope you will real soon. I know you don't like watching yourself in videos I make, but then again, you're the star of my film, so you have to get used to it."
Ginny laughed.
"And I hope you would watch every single video I made. Because I edited that, and had to work long ass hours to make each of them memorable. And I hope you would appreciate each one of them, as much as I did. Anyway, the reason why I wanted to document every memory about you is that I wanted to remember every single moment with you. After all, you are my best friend."
He made a goofy face, which made Ginny laugh harder.
"But seriously," he said, now fixing his expression with a serious one. "I wanted to document everything because I wanted to treasure good memories. With you, in particular. 'Because no one really understands me the way you do. And its fun making videos for someone you really care about. And oh, I had a video with you having your embarrassing moments! Hah! Wait till you see that!"
Ginny laughed once more. "Draco, you're so mean. I would have strangled you if you were still here."
As she said that, she fell silent and sad. But she looked up the TV once more and listened. "I know," he continued. "That you're going to strangle me if you see that. Can't wait. Haha!"
"You slime dog," said Ginny, laughing with him. Draco grinned and said, "Well…I just wanted to make this video because I want you to know how grateful I am to have you support my back. I mean, not literally. You might squash yourself up if you do. But anyway, I was supposed to give you this on your birthday, but work had been hard for me during that time, so I wasn't able to give it. But who cares. I just know that one day you will see this video, and you are seeing it right now. I just know it. I have faith, don't worry."
He smiled. Ginny felt so peaceful when he does it.
"For the past decade, I can't help but wonder why you were ever so interested in befriending me after what happened between Harry and Voldemort. Even up to now, I ask myself the same question. And I really couldn't ask you that, because you would probably think of me as an air-headed balloon."
Ginny laughed. "You really sure know me, Draco."
"But I'm really glad you came," said Draco. "I really needed someone at that time, and I'm glad it was you. Of course, I freaked out at first, 'cause I never imagined that someone who hated me so much actually came up to me and gave me hope. It gave me the feeling that somehow, someone was there to care for me. And I appreciated that more than anything, Ginny. Your friendship gave me so much strength, and the fact that one day you'll get married scares me to death. Why? Who would be there to tell me what necktie goes with my attire whenever there was a formal occasion? And who would be there to give me coffee every morning? I mean, I want to be the first one to actually receive your coffee, not your future husband. Haha! Just kidding."
Ginny grinned.
"Anyway, I know that someday, we'll grow apart. I don't know when or how. But always remember that I'm here for you, no matter what happens. Even if I die."
That brought electrical shocks to Ginny's body.
"Even if I spend 5 hours in the hospital fighting my life for you, I would do that."
Tears came in her eyes. "You did, Draco. You did."
"And if ever I'll be a soul in heaven or whatever, I'll be your guardian angel, I promise," he said, with an evil laugh. "Just kidding. But I'm serious, Gin. If I'm gone, I only ask you one thing. That is not to forget me. Whether I'll be gone in another country for good, or be totally gone—as in dead. Okay? Well, I think this video is overly-dramatic, and you might be laughing your head off on how cheesy I can get doing this kind of stuff. Anyway, thanks for everything, Ginny. I owe my new life to you. I love you."
With that, the video turned blank.
Ginny, sobbing quietly, took the video out of the player and hugged it tightly.
"I really miss you, Draco. I really wish you'd come back."
Draco
One thing Draco enjoyed being a ghost was the fact that he could go almost anywhere and just watch anyone. He always does this to Ginny, since he wanted to know she was always safe, but does not cross the line. He knew his limitations, and that was enough.
So far, everything he was seeing was interesting. Especially on the day of his funeral, this was held two days after his death. That was one thing he would never forget, though. A lot of people he knew was there present. He didn't know if they were there just for the reception or for him. The thought of it made him laugh, but as soon as he laid eyes on the petite figure of Ginny, he fell silent.
There she was, her arms on the black coffin his body was in, sobbing like a little child. Ron was practically pulling her gently, but she did not let go. He could remember her moaning his name all over again and asking him, "Why did you leave me?"
It was the most painful thing to feel, just next to the "rejection" he got from her. It was strange because every pain he feels had to do something with her. I guess I really love her so much, he concluded.
After the funeral, he was still surprised to see Ginny sitting like a little girl just above his grave. She pulled out a huge candle, which was pretty much familiar with him. Ahhhh, her handmade blueberry candles which I love, he thought. She pulled out a lighter and lit it up.
What struck Draco the most was when she started talking to him, though imaginary and she really didn't know she was listening.
"You know what? You're the only one who made me cry this way," said Ginny, crying again, but laughing at the same time. "It's going to be your fault when my eyes puff out tomorrow morning. Just kidding, Draco. Haha. Well, at least you're going to lie in peace down there, huh?"
I'm not in peace! Draco thought. How am I ever going to be in peace when you, yourself, is not in it?!
"Don't worry, I'll visit you every single day, I swear," said Ginny, grinning. "And if I break that, you can come and haunt me and remind me. But do it gently. I don't want you screaming at me with a transparent body all at once! You'll scare me to death."
I won't ever dare to do that to you.
"So, I'm left here alone. Now, I don't have anyone to finish the anti-red colored M&Ms for me. And you're the only one who knows that secret. Haha! I hope you'll find peace in there now, Draco. Don't worry, I'm gonna kick that driver's ass so hard that it would make him wish he was dead, too. If it wasn't for that stupid idiot, you would be here with me right now—probably playing a game of chess or something. Anyway, I just want to let you know how much I miss you, my dear friend. The first day without you to bug me seemed like forever. The second day, which is today, is much worse. What about the next days? Help me recover, okay? I know you don't want me to be like this forever, but I don't want you to think I'll forget you. I won't. No one can replace you in my heart. Just like you being in the center of my "red" flat other than myself. Remember that? God, I miss those moments."
Draco felt so sad for her. "Gin," he whispered. "If this whole thing is so hard for you…it is for me, too. Twice as much. Because I just left you—just like that, and for me, that is not fair for you."
Then she began story-telling the day they met and how they got together as friends, and so on. For Draco, it was funny, because it was usually him story-telling her that story over and over again. And listening to a different perspective about that story was nice because there was a change in the theme. The plot was definitely the same, but was put in a different style, which Draco personally admired.
Gee, you story-tell better than me, said Draco, as he found himself sitting in front of Ginny, who was still talking. She stayed there until dawn, and finally said her good-bye. She walked away, not looking sad anymore, but rather relieved. Draco was pleased to see this, and even he felt relieved and not sad anymore.
Living in the ghost world was just like living in the normal world. For the past two months, Draco befriended a few ghosts whom he thinks he will look up on to. One was named Chris, and the other was named Mary. Chris died because of cancer, while Mary died because she drowned in the sea. "Seriously," she said. "I felt like a mermaid."
Chris was more of the intelligent one. The one who personally understood what ghosts go through, and how they operate with people. Sometimes, Draco asked him if he could make Ginny see him and actually talk to him. Chris gave him hope by saying, "Definitely. You just need to have that connectivity. And once that happens, you both can see each other now."
Mary was the more humorous and bubbly one. She was 10 years older than Draco, as was more like a sister to him. She warned him about bad ghosts out there, and reminded him to stick to good ones. "Like me," she said, with a grin.