A/N: Long time no see, fanfic world! I've missed you guys :) Hope you enjoy this. I wrote it for my sweet friend Kimmy, based on the new trailer we got for S6 this week! Hope you enjoy and please review! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own much of anything.
It had started off slowly. A mere whisper in the darkness, this hope inside of her. Surely after all this time...all their trying, waiting, praying...surely this wasn't happening now. At this most uncertain time in their lives.
Their entire future was at stake with the looming presence of the inspector and the hovering ghost of...him. She couldn't find it in herself to wish away a child if they were blessed with one at this time, but it haunted her all the same.
She was late. She was never late.
The hospital waiting area was not entirely dissimilar to a prison cell as she waited for the doctor, feeling captive to her fear that this was all going to be a dream. That she would once again be mistaken by her suspicion. She feared one of these times that mistake would swallow her hole and she would never emerge from the darkness. All these nightmares played out in her mind as her name was called by the nurse with the kind eyes. This was it.
Dr. Clarkson was all smiles and happiness as he shared the joyful news with her, and Anna could hardly believe what she was hearing. She was finally, at long last, carrying his child. Their precious baby Bates.
She'd walked back to Downton with a spring in her step that she'd thought had been left behind years ago. Back when life was innocent and bright.
She was thinking of how she was going to tell him when the talks of the inspector's impending visit met her ears from the servant's hall. It was enough to snuff out her light in an instant.
And so she found herself now, hours later, in the boot room working tirelessly on a pair of Lady Mary's shoes that were well polished a while ago. She felt the familiarity in this set up; the last time she'd scrubbed away on a pair of heels only to have her husband's strong, healing hand pull them from her and pull her back to him. Her husband. She'd avoided him all the evening since she'd returned from the village. Her mind hoped that he hadn't noticed, but her heart told her he did. Her beloved...always giving her the space she needed when she fell into one of these moods. Little did he know…
She wanted to be happy. No, she was happy...thrilled in fact. But all the 'what ifs' and uncertainties nagged at her mind until it leeched all the joy from her heart and turned her cold. What if she was taken back to prison? What would happen to her and the baby then? Would they allow her to stay at Downton until she delivered, or would she be forced to bring their beloved child into the world in a dank prison cell? No. Anna closed her eyes and allowed a single tear to be shed as she pushed that thought far from her mind. She could not allow that to happen. John certainly would not… He would swing before he allowed any harm to come to her or their child. That thought only served to make her stomach roll even more. She scrubbed harder.
She knew she was going to have to tell him, according to Dr. Clarkson she was already three months gone and would be showing soon. He would know.
Just then she heard the creak of the boot room door and his familiar half step and click of his cane that she so adored. Anna wiped her hands on her white apron, uncaring as to whether she left a stain, and looked to him with what she hoped was a convincing smile. She knew by the look of concern on his face that she'd failed at her task. She could never fool him.
"My love, it's late. Are you ready to head home?" His voice was soft and soothing, and suddenly the smile on her face was genuine and his eyes brightened with that knowledge.
"Yes, I believe I'm done here." She stood but he held her hand just enough to make her turn to him.
"Are you alright? You've been so quiet this afternoon. Did something happen in the village?"
Always the worrier, her darling Mr. Bates.
Her mind was screaming at her to tell him. She could hardly hold the news inside, but what if he wasn't happy about it given their current situation? What if he was angry with her? What if he didn't want a baby anymore? The logical side of her knew that none of those thoughts held any merit whatsoever, but the nagging darkness persisted.
"Anna," he tilted her chin up so that their eyes could meet and she realized she'd been having this internal battle with an audience. "Tell me, darling."
Anna took a deep breath and held his large hands in hers, drawing every ounce of strength she could from him.
Unable to meet his eyes she began to speak, "I'm sorry I have been quiet this evening. I just….well you see I had a visit this afternoon with Dr. Clarkson."
She looked up and noticed the immediate signs of worry and panic on her husband's face. She worked quickly to assuage his fears.
"It was nothing horrible. I just haven't been feeling myself lately and wanted to make sure things were alright."
"And? Are they?" His voice still held that tinge of panic.
"Well, they will be...In a few months time."
Anna smiled up at John and waited for the realization to hit him. She watched as he looked at her with confusion and she could take the suspense no longer. She took his hand and placed it on her abdomen and felt her heart skip a beat as his eyes grew wide and he lost his breath for a moment.
"Anna…" he whispered, the emotion clear in just the simple mention of her name. "Truly?"
"Yes, my love," she choked out, barely managing to keep the tears at bay. "You are finally going to be a father."
"Oh Anna."
The tears were set free for both of them in that moment and they clung to one another. They had waited so long for this moment… Then all at once it seemed to strike her husband that this had not started off as a pleasant conversation. She'd hidden this news from him the better part of the day, and had seemed pensive and melancholy. Anna knew she had some explaining to do.
"Before you ask," she started as he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his arms still holding her tightly to him. "I wanted to tell you the moment I returned from the village. But you see… When I arrived, the other maids and footmen were discussing Mr. Vyner's visit. It just brought it all back and reminded me that this isn't exactly the best time for us to receive this news. I'm only out of jail temporarily and because you confessed to a crime you didn't commit."
Anna breathed deeply trying to take it all in, but the burden was simply too heavy to carry alone. Her tears formed anew and this time John remained silent as he gathered her in his embrace and soothed her with his hushed whispers and his fingers in her hair.
"My darling. My Anna. Please, let's not dwell on that."
"But how can we not dwell on it, John? It's like a perpetual dark cloud over what should be the sunniest day of our lives." She could hear the exasperation in her voice. For once she just wanted to be able to be happy. Was that too much to ask for?
John held her face firmly between his hands and their eye contact was just the shock to her system that she required.
"Anna, listen to me. We both know that we are innocent, and that will come out and be proven. I swear to you that I will let no harm come to you or our child. Ever. I would walk to the ends of the earth to protect you two. All this means is we must work even harder to ensure both of our freedom. We will flee the country if we have to. Raise our child like two thieves on the run."
This made her smile, which she assumed was exactly his intention.
Anna closed her eyes as John leaned in and kissed her forehead gently.
"Please Anna, let's just take tonight to be ecstatic and celebrate this beautiful life we've created. At long last. The rest will keep for tomorrow." He whispered into her hair and she felt as if her heart would burst with love for him.
She simply nodded and met his gaze before stating simply, "Take me home, Mr. Bates." To which he gladly complied.
It was much later that evening, after clothes had been scattered across the floor, and the heat of their passion had died down that they laid tangled in each others arms. Anna had fallen blissfully to sleep with the largest smile John had seen her wear for quite some time across her gorgeous face. He couldn't take his eyes off of her long enough to grant himself the fews hours of precious sleep that remained. It wasn't worth it when he could lay and watch her sleep.
His hand had drifted down to lay across her bare stomach and he reveled in the feeling of the small bump that now resided there. He'd lavished her stomach with kisses earlier, bringing tears to both of their eyes before they had joined as one. Now he just stroked her abdomen gently, hardly fathoming that their child was growing inside of her.
But it was real, and soon that child would be in their arms completely changing their lives for the better. He had his doubts for how he would be as a father. Lord knew he didn't have a good example growing up, but in that moment as he watched his perfect wife sleep he knew she would never allow him to be anything other than the father their child deserved. She would always be there to guide him through his doubts and fears. His light, his darling, beautiful Anna.
Just before he drifted off he held her tighter and whispered gently to where his hand still lay.
"I promise to love you forever, my sweet baby. I will always take care of you and your Mummy no matter what. Rest, my angels, for tomorrow we conquer all the demons and reclaim our place in the sun."
And with that the three of them rested peacefully until morning.