Title: Survivor
Summary: You can't choose your family and you can't choose your genetics. But you can choose your path and make your own choices. This is my version of Sakura breaking the mould and becoming strong because she can.
Non-mass AU
Pairing: Itachi X Sakura
Sakura brushed her hair back, thankful that her long hair was thickening and reached past her back. She carefully wrapped bandages around her arms and stomach, wincing when she brushed against a particularly painful bruise. She slipped on her red dress, blue spandex shorts and skipped out into the streets, smiling the entire time.
She was excited for training again, perhaps today would finally be the day when she would be trained properly, maybe Kakashi-sensei would take an interest in her. He was always looking over at Sasuke, Sakura was surprised he hadn't just swiped him and run away with the precious Uchiha boy. She wrung her fingers a little and flinched when a tall man with spiky brunette hair brushed passed her.
Calm... calm down... It's... it is fine.
Fine.
It's okay.
Taking a deep breath, she pasted another smile on her face and headed to their training grounds. Hopefully she wasn't too late, she could only run so fast after all.
"Ohayo Kaka-..." And her words died when she heard them talk about her.
"She's always late, when is she going to learn?" His voice was scathing and she could picture his smirk.
Sakura peeked over to see Naruto with his hands on his hips pointing at Sasuke. "Oi, don't talk about her like that, she probably just woke up late you teme!"
"Tch dobe, she's weak as it is, she doesn't even take being a ninja seriously."
It's not like she wanted to be weak..
"That... that... she's not weak! Sakura-chan can take care of herself -ttebayo!"
"We're always protecting her, any team she goes on is going to have to take care of her and get themselves killed."
Sakura bit back a gasp. That was so.. so mean.
She couldn't help it, and they never gave her chance anyway.
How could they say that about her?
They didn't even understand...
Weren't teammates supposed to be family?
And why wasn't Kakashi-sensei saying anything?
Sakura knew he heard her, or sensed her presence. Why didn't anyone care?
She shook her head again, they didn't know because she chose not to tell them.
They don't know. Don't blame them... It's not their fault...
She forced her lips to the side into a sunny smile and walked in, waving at her teammates and sensei.
"Hi guys, sorry I'm late."
"It's okay Sakura-chan!" Naruto smiled back at her, waving enthusiastically. "Ne, ne, Sakura-chan, why were you late anyway?"
"A-ah... I.. I just slept late that's all."
She cringed at her stammer. It had been a late night, and one of the particularly bad ones which was the reason why she was so shaky.
"Gomen mina-san, I didn't mean to keep you all waiting."
Kakashi nodded and Sasuke just scoffed while looking away to the side.
"Well, you're hear now," Kakashi-sensei spoke, "You'll be sparring today, Naruto you're with me, Sakura you're with Sasuke."
Sakura tried very hard not to let the look of horror come up on her face, masking and morphing whatever came out into her trademark look of adoration. It seemed to work because his usual look of disgust when she chased after him in the past came right out.
"How... how exciting ne Sasuke-kun?"
"Hn, let's begin."
She nodded, and slipped into the basic academy training stance, not knowing any other. Sasuke didn't waste any time and leaped toward her, not bothering to use a kunai or a shuriken. Sakura ducked to the left and blocked the punch he sent to her.
That was close, it nearly hit me in the chest.
He was fast. Terrifyingly fast in fact. He feinted to the left, leading her there and suddenly, when she was getting ready to block a hit from him, he kneed her in her side and twisted her arm behind her. Sakura choked and squeezed her eyes shut at the shock of pain in her side. Sasukes forearm was around her neck and he had a kunai to her throat.
"Give up Sakura."
She closed her eyes, breathing and trying to tune out the pain. She could feel the blood begin to trickle down he stomach, being absorbed by the bandages. It would very quickly soak through and she didn't want anyone to see.
"I.. I give."
He dropped her and walked off.
"Useless."
Sakura let her head hit the ground, pressing her hand to the side and biting her lip.
It hurt so bad.
"Sasuke where is Sakura?" Kakashi asked, having just come back from the trees with a battered and bruised Naruto.
The Uchiha pointed at the direction where Sakura had been laying in, only to find she was gone.
"She left."
Sakura bowed her head as she walked through the streets, a henge was in place covering up her loud pink hair so no one would notice her and stop her. Her arms were around her stomach and her fingers were bloody.
She ran into an alleyway and quietly cast a basic genjutsu so she would look like she wasn't there. Her fingers trembled as she unzipped her shirt and unwound the bandages to look at the damage. Her side was open, it was a messy opening and it looked like the stitches there were coming apart. Beside it, bruises were forming and her burns from last night were starting to get infected. She needed to clean this up but he was still home. He never left until two or three and it was only eleven in the morning.
Sighing, she made sure her henge was perfect and she hobbled off to the hospital.
She went in through the maintenance door, her appearance that of an old man with a broom and mop and headed up to the fifth level where there were very few nurses and doctors and all the supplies were kept up there. Her breathing was loud and shallow as she stumbled into the janitor's room, connected to one of the medicine rooms. She locked the door behind her and turned on the lights.
She had checked the floor beforehand with a sweep of her chakra, something that was incredibly helpful when it came to her home situation and there were only two other people on the floor besides her, both civilian. Smiling, she headed into the supply room and gathered some rolls of new bandages, gauze, medical tape, antiseptic wipes, antibiotic cream and a bottle of iodine.
Note to self: healing techniques, library.
Sakura sat down in the janitors room, just in case anyone came up and she didn't have to time to hide, and pulled off her dress and bandages. She looked down and eyed the ugly wounds over her sternum, chest and stomach.
Hideous.
She was so weak, she couldn't even protect herself.
She choked back sobs, now was not the time, and got to work. She dumped the bloody bandages to the side and pressed a clean cloth to her wound, applying pressure while she took out the antiseptic wipes and iodine, ready to get working.
One... two...
And she pressed the antiseptic wipes to the wounded and infected areas.
Ouch... it stings... soothing but stings!
Well thank god you didn't do something stupid and grab alcohol swabs right?
...
Oh wait, you were going to!
Trust her inner to bring her trouble when she didn't need it.
She rolled her eyes and concentrated on cleaning out the wounds and pulling out any bits of dirt and thread in her wound. It was so painful already she could barely feel the sting. She used the remaining antiseptic wipes on any infected areas and cut areas on her body. Most of the wounds had already scabbed over but what girl wanted scars? Barely out into the real world of ninja and already, she was scarred so, so much.
Sakura put another clean cloth into her mouth and reached for a metal spatula. There was no needle and thread, she was just going to have to cauterize the wound. She formed the one-handed seal for the katon jutsu and blew it out hard onto the spoon, ignoring how her lack of tutelage was giving her burns at the back of her mouth. The spatula glowed and counting down 3... 2... 1... again, she pressed it to her open wound, screaming into the cloth as the pain shot up sky high.
Her eyes were half-lidded as she gasped for air and dropped the spatula.
That was a stupid thing to do. I should have looked around for a needle and thread.
Even if you did... the wound was even bigger thanks to Sasuke kneeing right past our stitches and INTO our side!
He didn't mean it inner.
Well you did a great job not showing what actually happened. Maybe next time let out a scream so people know you're actually in pain.
That;s the point inner.
Oh. Well. Yeah.
...
You should probably go learn some healing jutsu at some point, pretty sure you have the chakra control for it.
You would know, you are me after all.
The one-handed seal thing though, genius.
You remember where we hid the manual right?
Of course, how did you learn that Katon jutsu anyway?
You know…
No I don't know.
Sure you do, you're the reason I could remember it after all.
Oh you mean that time when we had that training thing where you had to grab the bells…
Mmhm.
And you say Sasuke Katon… and you… OHHH, yeah that was clever. Maybe you should memorise all the hand signs next time.
Well oops. Maybe you should remember how the chakra is supposed to flow next time.
Well excuse me if I forget whether you need to make your chakra clockwise or anti-clockwise.
Well… you did see where it built up and how it flew out and stuff.
Hmmph. Most ungrateful *mumble* *mumble*.
Sakura breathed deeply and came back out into the real world. Talking with inner was good, distracted her from the pain. She should probably take a painkiller next time except the doctors were stricter on missing meds than materials. She breathed in and out slowly, her breaths were a bit wet but that was to be expected she supposed. Her trembling fingers reached out for the supplies she had taken. She placed some iodine over whatever remaining bits of the wound was open, wincing whenever she felt the electric like pricks on her skin. She taped the gauze in place and reached for the antibiotic cream, going over all her infected wounds and a healthy dose for those that might have been redder than necessary. Sighing, she wrapped the new roll of bandages around her abdomen and after a few tries, over her shoulder and sternum as well.
After what seemed like a very long time, she got up, checked that there wasn't anyone in the supply room and went in to get more bandages and antiseptic swipes. Hopefully, after she learnt medical techniques she wouldn't have to do this again.
She didn't feel like going home just yet, her father was bound to be back by now. Sighing, she dressed herself properly and stuffed whatever supplies she could into her pockets and settled for camping out in the forest. She could make a fire and circulate her chakra around to keep her warm, it could work.
The cod fish was cooked to perfection, just the right amount of brown sugar, soya sauce and lemon. The chili flakes were a lovely addition too. Paired with steaming rice and a plate of gyoza, this was very likely one of Itachi's favorite dinners.
"Itachi-chan, how is the fish?" Mikoto asked in a singsong voice.
"It is good okaa-san, as usual." He replied, voice monotone but eyes relaxed and warm.
"Ma.. ma.. that is very good, as usual…." She 'hmmph-ed' happily, "Such flattery." And she clapped her hands, or fingertips lightly.
"Do you have a mission this week Itachi-chan?" She continued on.
He nodded once, and then spoke "I leave tonight and will return sometime tomorrow."
"That's nice, be safe and take the packed food in the fridge alright?" She smiled when he nodded his assent.
"Mmm it would be good if you had a medic on your team, I wouldn't be quite as worried."
"Perhaps eventually Okaa-san, there are very few field medics." He said quietly.
Mikoto nodded, and then turned to Sasuke.
"Now, when are you going to bring your teammates here for dinner again?"
Sasuke blanched at the thought.
"Hopefully never again, it was your idea anyway."
Mikoto frowned a little bit at that. "Your teammates are so delightful though, especially that Sakura-chan, such a polite little thing." She sighed happily, "I always did want a girl… but I love you boys all the same."
"She's useless." Sasuke muttered.
Itachi and Fugaku looked up from their meals, paused their movement of the cutlery and set it down. Sasuke rarely talked about his female teammate, preferring to complain about Naruto's antics and whichever odd job mission their sensei had them doing that week.
"Sasuke-chan, that's not a very nice thing to say."
"Well it's true," He said, eyebrows furrowing, "She is a pathetic excuse for a ninja and only brings me down."
Seeing as his mother was only looking at him, he elaborated. "We sparred today, all she did was dodge and I beat her in less than a minute, even then all she did was run away once she gave in."
"You know, she did do quite well in the academy," Mikoto said thoughtfully, "Wasn't she the girl who used to beat you in your studies?"
The furrow between his brows only grew larger and his lip curled, "All she ever did in physical training was run away and flinch every time she got hit or fell down."
The disgust in his voice was evident.
Mikoto sighed and stood up. "Well Sasuke-chan, you can't change your teammates and there will always be a difference of strengths in a team, maybe you should try guiding her and helping her next time."
Sasuke just grunted and watched his mother put the dishes away.
Itachi got up and took his own plate to the sink, setting it down before returning to the table with a tray of lovely china cups filled with tea. He remembered when Naruto and Sakura had come for a meal once. He remembered her fairly well. Short and skinny with very loud pink hair and bright green eyes. Quite unassuming, dainty even, but there was one thing he had noticed and that was her posture. Everyone at that age had bad posture, even Sasuke with the strict Uchiha upbringing slouched a little bit. It happened. She was different though. Her shoulders were constantly forward and she seemed to cave in on herself whenever he glanced in her direction.
Actually, now that he thought about it, she had seemed incredibly aware of their seating positions and their behavior if the constant shifting of her pupils were any indication. She definitely acted differently compared to how Sasuke used to describe her, not appearing fan-girlish at all. In fact, Sasuke had never complained about her having the rabid clinginess of the blonde Yamanaka Ino or the constant chasing that all his fan-girls tended to do. Seems like all he complained about was her being late and never taking their few spars seriously.
He finished his tea, bowed and left to pack his things. He had about half an hour before it was time to leave and a slow walk to the gates was a luxury he didn't get often.
It was not the best idea to camp in the forest. She would have just gone home and braved her drunk, alcoholic of a father but he sometimes brought friends over and her body couldn't take another beating tonight.
Mom, I wish you were here… To take me as far away from dad has possible.
Sakura let her palms rub opposite sides of her arms, it was a little bit chilly out here but she doubted anyone would find her here. She was settled relatively comfortably with a few sheets and blankets she had gone in to take from another supplies room. A very small fire was blazing in front of her and she had a bottle of water and a small sandwich she had bought later on.
Probably going to be camping out here for some time.
I'll bet your dad is pretty mad.
I'm going to need to go home sometime to get money and food.
In the afternoon then? He should be out in a bar by then.
What if he's still there hungover?
He sleeps it off.
Yeah, okay, remind me to borrow the book on basic healing jutsus tomorrow okay?
Yeah yeah.
She pulled her hair to the front, wincing a bit when the back of her head stung a little. She tied it up in a loose ponytail and settle her head against the trunk of a relatively comfy looking tree.
One sheep… two sheep…. Three sheep… Four shee-mngh…
Why on earth was there a girl in Uchiha territory? Or it was close anyway, borderline to their territory with a river that ran from one of the waterfalls in the northern part of Konoha down to the compound. The woods were fairly large, a good chunk going from the hospital and went all the way around the Uchiha compound and just happened to merge with an array of trees and open fields that belonged to them. So it was technically theirs too.
At a quick glance, the girl was camping out, but she seemed somewhat ill-prepared. She looked fairly familiar and light from the flames drew shadows on her face that enhanced and hid different features. Then he realized it was Sakura who was camping out with hospital blankets; because no one had those blankets other than the hospital, in a dirty outfit and smudges on her cheeks. How long had she been out here?
Most likely just today.
She was already asleep, and not in favor he decided to just keep walking instead of jumping in the trees. His footsteps were extremely quiet and even he himself couldn't hear them, but when he walked past the small clearing where she slept, her eyes shot open and she looked around hurriedly. Curious as to her behavior, he concealed the sounds of his footsteps and approached the area, taking care to stay in the shadows and watch her odd behavior.
Not so odd if she could already sense his chakra, but if she was anything like Sasuke…
She flinched as he took a few steps to her and stopped moving. Could she sense him? He had concealed the sound of his footsteps, so the only reason she knew he was there was by sensing his chakra.
She turned her head back and forth, and seemed to shake her head before going to sleep with a kunai under her pillow.
So she couldn't sense him, interesting.
He had a good twenty minutes left and decided to keep walking to the gates.
"It is all your mother's fault!"
"I can't stand your face!"
"DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THAT CHEATING BITCH!"
She screamed for help and cried as he slammed the bottle of cheap beer into her back.
"No one is coming, not for you Akiko... not for you." His smile was wicked as he grabbed her hair and pulled her back ward.
"You like cheating so much? WELL YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU WANTED!" He screamed and punctuated each word with a slap.
"She ready eh?"
"Oh she's ready for us Hiro, she's ready."
"Please no… no…."
"NOOOO!"
Sakura shot out of her sleep and fell over to the side.
"A dream… a dream… just…. Oh god…"
She lay there, clenching the blankets and sniffling.
He's not here. Not here. He can't hurt you like this. He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me. He can't hurt me..he can't hurt me he can't hurtme…
"He can't hurt me, he can't hurt me…" She muttered to herself, over and over again. She hadn't had that dream in a while, and he had only been hitting her since she returned from wave. No advances and he had only come through on his threats to ra-… to rape her a few times.
She understood. He was her father, and he thought she was mother when he… he…
Sakura breathed in and wiped her tears. He didn't mean to. He was broken, had come from an abusive family himself and when her mother had started cheating on him… and then had passed away when she was ten…
Oh god. This was the reason she had become a ninja, this was why.. this was why… so he could stop hurting her. So she could protect herself.
He was her father after all and she was the one who did the dishes and prepared the meals, if she left he wouldn't find anyone to take care of her.
And he would find her, and he would be so angry…
She could only run away, she didn't dare lift a hand to protect herself, and she knew deep down that he loved her. He loved her. Why else did he pay to let her go to the academy after all? He took his emotions out on her but he loved her.
If only I were still friends with Ino… if only… I didn't make her hate me… Why…
Why hadn't she been rational enough at that time? He hurt her. He always hurt her, and he threatened to tell Ino about what she was and what she was like and Ino couldn't know that. But so what if she did? Her parents could help her… she wouldn't have to be out here.
She had gone to the academy so she could learn to protect herself, but she could barely do anything. If she could protect herself, she could move out. She wouldn't have to live with him always hurting her. She wouldn't have to be afraid if he tried to come after her when she lived somewhere else.
And where was she? In the middle of the woods. In the middle of the freaking woods.
She couldn't actually move out though. You had to be a chuunin to be able to officially live on your own and she wasn't.
So beat the chuunin exams.
The chuunin exams? How could she even beat the chuunin exams, she didn't even know when they were coming up. What if it came up next year? What if-
So train first you dummy. All this repressed energy is driving you crazy!
Bu-
But nothing! It's escalated until you had to go to the hospital once and you get freaking NIGHT TERRORS. I can't even do anything about them!
How could I ever get strong enough to beat him anyway? To fight back… I… I…
You can do it. Just go ahead and start trying. Live in an abandoned house or camp out here. Your brain is freaking out and I should know! I'm in it.
But he needs to be taken care off… he needs…
If he needs to be taken care off what do you think would have happened to him when you were practically dead for three days? He lives on his own JUST FINE.
I… but…
But nothing. You and your great ideas aren't going to see the light of day if you stay a coward!
Sakura sighed. Ino had been a great idea. Sure she had been a bit crazy-infatuated with Sasuke… but if Sakura hadn't been so ashamed of her best friend finding out she had been… well maybe she wouldn't be in this situation now.
Maybe… maybe I don't have to run anymore.
She was sick of running, and sick of being scared.
Her fingers wrung themselves together and she bit her lips and looked down at the fire.
She was tired of sleeping with one eye open terrified of him coming into her bedroom at night. She was terrified of him coming home every day. She was tired of him screaming at her all the time now that she wasn't always going home straight from the academy...
He had fallen into a habit of drinking more each year, going a bit madder and was probably spending all his money on beer… And she was getting more and more ready to rebel and run, even if she always went back.
Well maybe it was time not to go back anymore.
Except maybe for the money.
So I watched a really tear-jerking and inspiring music video the other day about abuse and I thought I would do a fiction that twisted up the usual Sakura becoming stronger fic. Of course, I had to pair her up with Itachi because girl has to get into ANBU eventually. I don't plan to do any up close and personal rape scenes, focusing more one how Sakura just couldn't handle it anymore and it just kept like, pressing and pressing into her mental landscape that she just ups and leaves. I will show a few scenes of her instances of running because it was so painful, or she was so scared and you know, because she's growing up and she's got that burst of survival instinct.
Anyway, up there is the reason whyyy I wrote this fic if you felt like just scrolling down.
So review because any criticism is constructive and any comments you have is appreciated.