I know that this is an absolutely sucky piece and it disgraces and all that it stands for, but don't flame me too harshly, please. I don't enjoy flames all that much, you know. But still, I suppose you have the permission to, so go ahead. I just came up with this suddenly, and it kept floating around in my brain.
Stupid..old..dumb..Headmaster..
Severus Snape the Potions Master cursed in his head and out loud as he stomped down the corridors, not his usual billowy self. Albus Dumbledore just had to ruin his day, once again.
It was going absolutely wonderfully, really, it was; he had removed exactly 80 points, and that was just in the morning. He had removed ten points from Slytherin (despite the fact that he favored them over any house, he did still take points from them) and fifty points from Gryffindor, and he had removed 10 each from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. It was an absolutely marvelous day.
And then he ruined it. Him. Albus Dumbledore. The bane of his existence, the person that he wished to result to Muggle methods to hurt, the ever-annoying Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus (please insert babbly nonsense middle names here to give scary effect) Dumbledore.
He was fine when Albus Dumbledore had repeatedly asked him if he wanted a (cursed) lemon drop. (No, Albus; but if you keep asking me that, I will get The Dark Lord himself to come over and curse you.) But THIS; ooh, THIS was going TOO FAR.
Did he disobey his every command? Of course not. He sat at the side of Albus Dumbledore like the loyal lapdog he was and OBEYED his every DEMAND.
Yes, demand. He did not simply ask for things, oh no, that's too much of a hassle for the greatest wizard of all time, isn't it? He demanded. And everybody listened to him and it made him sick.
It wasn't enough. When Albus had asked (DEMANDED) for a pack of Lemon Drops, did he disobey? No. He went out like the lapdog he was, and got him a pack of Lemon Drops. (He was so Hufflepuff material at times that it made him sick.) But when he had arrived, pack of Lemon Drops in hand, did Dumbledore thank him? No, of course not. He had deliberately drawled, (Drawling was HIS thing, not Dumbledore's!) "Thank you, my boy, but I asked for two packs of lemon drops. This, is one."
But did he complain? No. He calmly glided out of the room and came back with another pack of lemon drops.
When Dumbledore had asked, to interview the bug-eyed Trelawney woman, he did not protest. He interviewed her. And what did Dumbledore say, after he came back after three, long, torturing hours of "Ohh, I see dark shadows in your future, my child." and "Oh, what is that? It's the GRIM!" Nothing. He did not say anything. He simply sent Severus out with a wave of his hand, a CLEAR dismissal sign.
But this, this was too far. He burst into the Teacher's Lounge, robes not billowy one bit, and glared at Albus, stomping over to him noisily and grabbing him by the front of his (BLACK, BILLOWY, HIS) robes, and yelled maniacally, "WHY DID YOU TAKE MY ROBES, YOU STUPID OLD MAN?"
Did he say anything? Of course not. He simply responded, sucking on an infernal lemon drop, "You know, I never quite understood your attraction for these robes, but now, I understand. They're so fun!""