Evan cleared his throat and nodded. "I understand."

She gave him a sympathetic grin and he hated it. He'd always known she would decide to leave and he didn't know why he still tried. He didn't know why he thought he could find a girl who gamed and could still handle the fact that he couldn't give her all of the time she wanted from him.

They always said they were okay with it but the longer he was with them, the more they wanted to cling. He understood that and he was always willing to please them, but he never enjoyed it like thought he should.

He wanted to pamper them, kiss them, hold them, maybe one day love them. But in the end he figured out he just wasn't committed to typical relationships. They were supposed to be fun and they were supposed to have a great time gaming together and they always strayed from the games and wanted more from him instead.

He was done, just completely over trying to find the right one. So he helped his new ex pack her things in the back of her car and gave her a polite embrace and wished her well. Her car disappeared down the road and he didn't feel any remorse, he simply walked back inside and grabbed his keys off the counter.

"Cartoonz! Jump, jump!"

"I'm trying, Delirious! Shut the fuck up!"

Jonathan watched Luke's Battle Block character fall into the water for the fifteenth time and he laughed just as hard as he did every other time.

He caught his breath when his phone rang. "Evan's calling me, let's just take a break. We suck, dude."

Luke cracked up again, "Alright, I need to go eat with the lady anyway. Holla."

"Peace." Jonathan clicked out of the game and answered his phone. "What's up, man?"

"Hey. Not much, just driving around, figured I'd holler at you for a bit." Evan said and he sounded a bit far away like he was on speaker.

"You shouldn't be on your phone while you're driving, you dufus." Jonathan said and made his way to the kitchen.

"I'm talking to you through the car. You know, the blue tooth thingy."

Jonathan laughed, "So you look like a crazy person talking to yourself. Even better."

"Shut up."

Jonathan pinned the phone between his face and shoulder and made himself a massive sandwich. "So, why are you just driving aro -"

Jonathan paused, letting his butterknife and mayo rest on the counter when he realized. Evan liked to talk to him when he had things on his mind and sometimes he would drive. Just drive wherever and think it out and it was mostly because of a girl. "Did Avery break up with you?"

"Yeah."

"Dude." Jonathan muttered and he really didn't know what to say and he was about to open his mouth again and give him his sympathy but Evan cut him off.

"Don't say you're sorry. I appreciate it, but I know you didn't like her. I don't think I really did either now that I think about it." Evan rubbed his eyes and kept driving into the night. The sky was cloudy and he could see lightening flickering ahead of him. The town was quiet, a small steady line of late night traffic littered the highway and he was tired.

"I don't know why I even bother anymore, Delirious."

Jonathan sat down at the table and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, maybe you should stop trying. Life isn't just about being with someone. Just let the right one come to you. Stop looking so hard."

Evan swallowed his feelings, "I know. I'm just really tired of feeling like this."

"Like what?"

"Alone. But I don't really like going out and being around people. Does that make any sense?"

"It does." Jonathan nodded to himself. "You're like me. You need social interaction but you also need to be alone. And you need someone that likes it that way too. Someone that respects your space but knows when you need your bubble burst."

Evan was silent, nodding to himself. Then he realized he hadn't said anything, but was talking to himself in his head. He gave a small laugh, "Yeah, that's exactly what I want. But it's like a fucking needle in a hay stack around here apparently."

"Maybe you need to stay away from the Canadian bacon and get a taste of some foreign flavor." Jonathan said, cracking up when Evan let out a genuine laugh and he new he'd be okay when they got off phone.

"Listen, I'm sorry for always talking about my depressing life with you. I'm just so . . . tired, is the only way I can describe it. I don't hardly sleep, I think too much and I just need to tell someone." Evan blinked, feeling his eyelids and how dry they were from lack of sleep.

Jonathan felt for him, he really did. He understood that fight between thinking and sleeping and his mind always won. "Don't ever apologize for that, Evan. Just call me like you always do and tell me about it. I understand and I'm listening. I'm here for you, dude. Delirious is yo man."

Evan smiled, alone in his car as he approached the green light of the intersection ahead. The rain was starting to come down hard and he was feeling alright. He usually did after he talked with Delirious.

He turned his wipers on top speed as the rain beat down. "Ya know, Delirious, you're a pretty chill guy considering you're a basket case."

Jonathan's bubbly laugh filled the vehicle, but it didn't drown out the sudden squeeling of tires sliding on wet pavement or the blinding headlights that slammed into the side if his car.

Jonathan nearly broke his phone between his fingers when he heard the crunching of metal on metal, the screeching of tires and a scream that echoed in his head. He couldn't breathe. "EVAN!"

He waited, hearing nothing but rain beating down on a vehicle, like a tin roof. It was quiet. "EVAN! Fucking say something! Please!"

His voice broke on the last word and he felt his knees give on him and he clutched at the table for support. He dropped to the floor when he heard a short wet cough and labored breathing on the other end.

"Nnn."

"Evan?"

The call ended just as he heard sirens in the background. Then he couldn't keep the tremble out of his fingers or his voice when he called Luke, sitting on his kitchen floor with his face in his hands trying not to have a panic attack.

"Hello?"

"Luke!"

Luke was already grabbing his keys and running to his car, he couldn't understand a word Jonathan was saying. He was hysterical and his voice was wet and scared.

"I'm on my way. Just calm down, okay? Breathe." Luke tried, but the man was panicking. "Jonathan!'

But he wasn't listening, just rambling, too upset to think. "Iheardtheotherfuckingcarhithimohmyfuckingfuckwhatifijustlistenedtohimdie?!"

"Jonathan, I can't understand a word you're saying. Calm down for a fucking second and tell me what happened."

But all he got was terrified sobs on the other end.

Luke stepped through Jonathan's back door and found him backed into the corner of the kitchen against the cabinets, crying his heart out and Luke didn't know what to do.

"Hey." He got to his knees in front of him and pulled his hands away from his face. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Deep breaths."

He breathed in deep and waited for Jonathan to mimick him. He did and Luke wiped at his face with a hand towel. His chest was red and splotchy from crying but he was finally breathing normal again.

"Now, tell me."

Jonathan took a breath, his lip trembling again but he held it back, clearing his throat. "I was on the phone with Evan and I heard another car hit his. He won't answer anymore."

Luke sat down hard on the wood floor. "Are you sure he was in an accident?"

"I heard him scream and I . . ." Jonathan choked again. "What if he's dead?"

"No." Luke shook his head.

"It sounded really fucking bad, Luke!"

"Okay, we'll call around to the hospitals up there and see if he's been admitted. Alright?" Luke waited and Jonathan was shaking like a fucking leaf. "What province?"

"Ontario." Jonathan said without hesitation. "But there's probably fifty different hospitals up there."

Luke opened the laptop on the table and searched for phone numbers and he tossed Jonathan his phone. "Then we better start calling if we want to find him."

"Go with me, please." Jonathan begged but Luke shook his head as he drove him to the airport in the middle of the night. They'd called thirty hospitals until they found the right one. The nurse told Luke that he was in critical condition, but they had him stabilized. He had relayed the message to Jonathan, but kept the critical part out. Jonathan had sagged against the wall in relief that he was even alive.

"I would, but I can't. I'm working double shifts all week. There is no way I can leave right now. I'll come up there when I can." Luke said and Jonathan stared out at the road for the rest of the drive. "I'm sorry, Jonathan."

"I just can't believe this is happening."

He hugged Luke and said goodbye before he boarded and he debated the entire flight whether or not to tell anyone what had happened. He figured it could wait until he got there and found him first. When his feet were on the ground he threw his bag over his shoulder and walked as fast as he could to the exit and to a cab. He tapped his finger against his knee the entire drive to the hospital and when he stepped out, the air was crisp and cold. The hospital was even colder. He hated hospitals. They were so bright and white and the smell drove him insane. That sterile pungent scent that didn't leave your nose for days. It was unsettling.

He moved around a few people in the never ending hallway until he found an office and he asked for Evan's room. She smiled sweetly at him and there was a small sadness in her eyes when she came from behind her desk and let him to the room herself. "He's not awake yet, but you can stay as long as you need. He's still considered to be in critical condition from the severeness of the concussion he sustained. We're waiting for him to wake up and then we can tell just how bad it is. For now, we're letting his body rest."

She opened the door and he hesitated in the doorway. He could feel his fingers shaking, so he pulled them into fists. "Does his family know?"

"No, we can't find any emergency contact numbers for him. That usually means they don't have family or they're estranged." She said and glanced into the room where they could see his feet beneath the sheets of the hospital bed. "Are you family?"

Jonathan shook his head, "No, I'm a friend. I just flew here from North Carolina. I was on the phone with him when it happened. Scared the shit out of me."

She put a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly and he felt the tears threatening as she urged him into the room. "He's alive and you're here now."

"Yeah. Thank you." He gave here a small grin and he watched her leave. His gaze fell back to the feet he could see and his nerves were twisting as he moved forward. More of the bed came into view and the beeping of the heart rate monitor was deafening. He saw hands that were both in casts up to his elbows, his chest was wrapped in gauze and he finally let his eyes fall on his face. Jonathan felt the tears fall from where they had pooled slowly the closer he had got. Evan's forehead was also wrapped thickly in gauze, his eyes were black and bruised like he'd never seen. He was littered with cuts, scrapes, and bruises.

Jonathan sank into the seat beside him, wiping furiously at his face. He hadn't cried this much since he was a kid. Of all the things that could've convinced him to come see Evan, it was this. He hated himself for that.

He pulled his phone out and dialed Luke who answered on the first ring.

"How is he?" Is all he said.

"It's bad." Jonathan stood and walked over to the window. "Bruised ribs, broke both of his forearms, and he has a concussion and they won't know how bad it really is until he wakes up."

Luke sighed heavily, relieved. "At least he's alive, that is literally all that matters right now."

Jonathan let his gaze travel back to the motionless figure in the bed, "I know."

Jonathan fell asleep, not on purpose but from exhaustion. His eyes had stayed open as long as he could make them, watching the steady breathing of the man out cold on the bed. The beeping of his monitor is what eventually convinced his tired eyes to close. It was like a metronome in the silent cold room. He had pulled his hood over his head and tucked his feet beneath him in the chair, pulling his jacket around him tighter.

He woke up warm, covered in a blanket and squinting against the light coming through the window. Jonathan sat up and noticed a few bags of chips on the side table, a bottle of water, and a small pack of Advil. He didn't notice his head was hurting until he felt the pinch in his neck from sleeping weird. It must have been the nurse from yesterday that left him the supplies and he was thankful.

Evan was still under and Jonathan didn't know what to do now that he was there. He didn't know how long Evan would be out, he didn't know how bad it was and now he had to figure out if he needed to stay.

He washed down the Advil with the water and ate a bag of chips before he headed out the door and down the hall where the same woman was there to greet him.

"Thanks for all of that." He said and she smiled up at him from behind her desk.

"It's no problem, honey."

"Listen, I have no idea if he has family. I've known him for three years now and he's never said anything about them. Could you help me, maybe?" Jonathan ran a hand through his short hair. "This is the first time I've ever even been here. I just need to figure out whether or not I need to stay."

She smiled and pulled up an empty chair next to her. "I'll do what I can. Come have a seat."

Jonathan got comfortable beside her and watched her probably break a dozen rules as she searched the hospital data base for Evan's records. Once she found his birth certificate, she searched for his mother's records and found out she had another child five years later.

The printer beside him jumped to life and stared spitting out papers. Jonathan rifled through them and found an address for his parents, but when he called he found the phone was disconnected, it no longer existed.

"Damn it. What about the brother?" Jonathan asked.

"I can't find any telephone number or an address for him. I'm sorry, sweetie." She gave him a sympathetic look.

"My name's Jonathan." He said and put the chair back where she took it from and he walked to the other side of her desk where the public belonged.

"I'm Melanie. If you need help with anything else, let me know."

Jonathan nodded, "I will, thank you again. I really appreciate you try -"

His words were cut short when a doctor and three nurses rounded the corner and jogged their way down the hall past them. Jonathan looked to Melanie for an explanation but she was just as bemused.

Jonathan followed them and he moved a little faster when he heard a panicked voice that sounded more than familiar.

"Stop!" He heard Evan crying out and when he entered the room two of the nurses were holding him down. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hopital, hon. You were in an accident, calm down." One of the nurses said and he slowly stopped moving, but his breathing was still heavy.

"Do you remember?"

He nodded and Jonathan noticed he was looking around, but he never focused on anything in particular. His eyes were bloodshot and frantic and it was starting to worry Jonathan. Something was very, very wrong.

The doctor approached him and it only confirmed Jonathan's suspicions when the man touched Evan, because he flinched like he didn't even see him there.

The older man took his small flashlight and pried Evan's eyelid open, shining light into it. Evan didn't even squint or shy away. Jonathan was twisting his fingers in his hand, feeling more sick by the second.

"Can you see anything, son?"

"No." Evan blinked hard. "What does that mean?"

"We'll run some tests. It's probably from your concussion. Your head hit the window of your car and then the steering wheel and it made your optic nerves swell. It could take a while for them to go back down and for you to regain your vision. But we won't know how badly damaged the nerves are until the swelling goes down. They may need to be replaced and that in itself could leave you permanently blind." The doctor wrote down something on his clipboard. "We'll get you on some anti-inflammatory medication to help with the process and get some appointments scheduled so we can keep tabs on it, make sure you're healing properly."

Jonathan's heart sank at his words and he moved further back into the corner of the room out of everyone's way as they filtered out of the room. Melanie gave him a sad look before she backed out of the room, leaving them alone.

He didn't move, he couldn't. His legs were frozen in place and all he could do was stare at Evan as his eyes looked absently ahead of him. Jonathan could feel the guilt building again, the emotions trying to pool at his eyes and he did his best not to make noise.

Evan clicked the button in his hand and Melanie was in the room again in seconds. "What do you need, sweetie?"

Evan shut his eyes, "A phone."

She unhooked the hospital phone from the wall and sat it in his lap, placing the receiver in his hand. "It has the basic nine numbers and zero at the bottom, no crazy buttons. Do you need help dialing?"

"No." Evan shook his head, "Thank you."

"I'll be just down the hall." She said softly and left the room again.

Jonathan watched him struggle to dial around the casts on his arms and hands. It looked like it was constricting his fingers normal function. But after a minute he finally put the phone to his ear and tried to sit up straighter, sinking back against his pillows. He looked anxious.

Jonathan felt the panic run through his legs when his phone went off in his pocket, the tune always the same; Evan's outro to his videos. He couldn't convince his fingers to move so he just stood there like a idiot as Evan's gaze was directed in his general direction as he slowly hung up the phone.

Evan had called him. He called him first and that spoke volumes.

"Delirious?" Evan said, his blind eyes searching with such hope for an answer in the dark. Jonathan felt the tears rolling and he stepped forward when Evan held a stiff hand out in the empty space between them. "Please . . . tell me it's you."

Jonathan reached his hand out and just as his fingertips touched Evan's he whispered, "It's me."

Evan broke into a smile, laughing lightly until it turned into a cry as he wrapped his fingers tightly around Jonathan's hand. "I'm sorry."

Jonathan sat in the chair beside his bed, letting Evan squeeze as hard as he wanted. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry you were on the phone when it happened. I could hear you after -"

Jonathan shook his head, quickly reminding himself that Evan couldn't see him. "It doesn't matter. I'm here now and you're alive."

Evan wouldn't let his hand go and Jonathan was starting to realize how scared he looked.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Evan asked and his tone made him seem so small. His lip was trembling and Jonathan knew then that Evan didn't like hospitals. Neither did Jonathan.

"It's the smell isn't it?" He asked.

Evan swallowed before he nodded. "It's so fucking sterile and cold and white and it reminds me of all the times I went to work with my mom. Like I was surrounded by old and sick and sad. Hate the way it makes me feel. Like I'm alone and I just want to leave. When can I leave?"

"I don't know. But I'll go find out." Jonathan stood and he watched as Evan reluctantly let his hand go. "I'll be right back."

"Hurry. Please." Evan clenched the blanket in his hand, pulling it closer. "It's really dark in here."

Jonathan knew he didn't mean the room because the florescent bulbs above were enough to give him a headache. Evan meant that it was dark in there, in his head where he couldn't see, and he really didn't want to be alone.

"Okay, I'll be fast." Jonathan jogged down the hall to the nurse's station. "Melanie. How long are you guys keeping him here?"

"Well, now that he's awake and aware it shouldn't be long. The doctor probably wants to keep him here to rest for the day and then he'll let him go home. Is everything, okay?"

"He just doesn't like hospitals, bad memories, that sort of thing." Jonathan said, already walking back toward the room.

"I'll see if I can speed up the process." She called after him and he gave her a thumbs up.

"Thank you."

Evan's face lit up at his footsteps and he sat up, "So how long?"

Jonathan sat back down beside him, "At the most another day. But the nurse said she would try to hurry it up. So, hopefully a few hours. You should rest, Evan. You look like shit."

"Yeah . . ."

Jonathan heard the tone change in his voice. "You alright?"

Evan hesitated and smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked in his direction, "It's kind of funny. It took me getting into an accident for you to finally come see me and now that you're here . . . I still don't know what you look like."

Jonathan chewed at the inside of his cheek, "You're not missing anything. I'm nothing special."

"I doubt that." Evan grinned and let his head fall back against his pillows and he fell asleep with dry tears on his bruised face and Jonathan knew he wasn't going to be leaving him anytime soon. He was going to stay by his side even if his family showed up.

He was going to stay until Evan could see again.

TO BE CONTINUED.