Love comes at us from the most unusual places. Nobody knows this better than Jaune Arc, who somehow manages to find himself paired with nearly everybody in the series. He thought he was done with the bizarre pairings. Just last week he'd been forced to romantically involve himself with Kali Belladonna. As sweet as she was, Jaune couldn't help but feel that there was something weird about being in a relationship with a married woman more than twice his age. Unfortunately for him, anything could happen in the world of fiction.

Another one of these pairings came him at the worst time possible. Jaune had just dressed himself and was prepared for the day to himself when his agent showed up. Just the sight of his agent was enough to make Jaune's smile disappear. He had no idea who he would be forced to romanticize with next. Why was it always him in these weird parings?

"Please don't tell me this is another pairing," Jaune moped. "I was hoping to get the day off."
Jaune's agent glumly smiled and stared down at the clipboard in his hands. "You're to be paired with Salem," he said quickly.

"What?" asked Jaune. It turned out his agent spoke so fast that Jaune couldn't even understand what he had said.

"Salem!" Jaune's agent shouted. "You know. Spider-hair lady? Red eyes? Skin paler than a bottle of glue? Moves like she has a Onewheel hidden underneath her dress?"

Jaune's jaw dropped immediately.

"You can't be serious," he said. "She's got to be more than five hundred times my age."

"Well it says you're up to be paired with her," said Jaune's agent. "Remember, it's not me who makes these pairings."

Jaune groaned loudly and sat himself on the sidewalk. "I just wish I could...I don't know...be with someone I can actually connect with," Jaune complained. "Remember that time I was paired with Yang? She almost broke both my arms. And Velvet apologized over every little thing. Can't I just be paired with Pyrrha or Weiss?"

Jaune's agent shook his head. "It's true that those are probably some of the biggest requests you get along with Ruby, but do you have any idea how popular they are with other pairings?"
Jaune cocked his head.

"Very popular," said his agent. "Just don't screw this up. Okay? Your last pairing with Kali ended pretty badly."

"You'd have the same response if you met her walking mountain of a husband," said Jaune.

"Just don't embarrass yourself," said Jaune's agent before leaving.

Jaune was left to himself with nothing but dread. Salem was known all across Remnant as an antagonistic force of evil. How he was expected to have anything in common with her was a mystery he couldn't solve.

Jaune waited outside his place for Salem. Every pairing he had would start with his "other half" meeting him at his place. The pairing would commence from there until it was allowed to end.

Jaune waited, dreading what would await him. His answer came shortly in the form of a strange looking woman floating down the street.

Salem looked as terrifying as she was said to be. Jaune checked for a hint of a smile or something, but all he could see was a massive grimace that wouldn't go away.

Salem stopped right before him and looked down with a very intimidating stare.

"Are you the Arc boy I've been forced to pair with?" she asked, presenting no emotion in her voice.

Jaune nodded.

"Then bring me inside so that we can fulfill the wishes of our contractor," said Salem. "I don't wish to spend more time with you than I have to."

She walked herself right into Jaune's place without even asking. Jaune watched as she walked in and looked down at his scroll. The pairing was to only take place for a week at most. He wondered if he would lose his sanity before then.

Jaune walked closed the door to his place and found Salem sitting at his table with her eyes burning bright red at him.

"What?" asked Jaune, wondering what it was she wanted.

"Tea," said Salem.

"What?"

"TEA!" Salem shouted, slamming her fist on the table.

"You drink tea?" asked Jaune. "I see you more as the type to never drink anything."

"Cease your malignance and bring me what I demand!" Salem shouted again.

Jaune muttered to himself as he prepared Salem's tea. The thought of him spending more than a day with this woman was too much to ask for. She was probably the type who always found something to complain about. No wonder she was so intent on throwing the world into corruption.

"Here's your tea," said Jaune after he had prepared her tea.

Salem stared at tea, making Jaune start to break out in a light sweat.

She ended up taking the tea and took it all in one gulp.

"H...How did you not just burn your throat?" asked Jaune.

"The only thing that burns is my desire to throw this world into chaos!" said Salem, smirking slightly.

Jaune just rolled his eyes and took the tea.

"So what kind of things do you like doing?" he asked while washing the cup and saucer.

Salem stared straight ahead and said with no emotion, "planning the destruction of this world and the eventual takeover of civilization."

"That much is obvious," said Jaune. "But I mean….like anything else? Do you have hobbies that don't involve death and all that other stuff? Ever tried playing tennis?"

Salem's eyes slowly rolled over in Jaune's direction.

"Are you making a mockery of me?" she asked.

"No," said Jaune. "I'm just asking if you have any hobbies outside….whatever it is you do. I mean, you have a castle and everything. Don't you do anything for fun in there?"

Salem looked back at the table and stroked her chin.

"You know," she said, "I do enjoy retelling the history of this accursed planet to all who choose to listen."

Jaune felt his stomach fall. Knowing Salem, her stories would probably last the entire week they were forced to be together. As much as Jaune despised having to spend time with Salem, having to have a week long history lesson was just as unappealing. He looked around for something to do. Anything.

"I think you should try going to a park," said Jaune.

Salem's eyes turned dark red.

"And force myself to observe the frivolous lifestyles of those who inhabit this planet?" She said this like Jaune had just asked her to eat dirt.

Jaune shrugged. "Sure," he said. "Whatever. Just do this. Do you really want to spend this pairing talking about nothing?"

"I'd rather spend it turning you to my side."

Jaune sighed.

"I guess it's a start," he said.

Jaune had a long week ahead of him and he knew it wasn't going to be fun.