Dramatic Percyness
What would it be like if Percy Jackson and the Olympians was in a style of an ancient Greek dramatic epic? You know, ancient Greek stories with old-school heroes with shining gold hair and damsels in distress etc. etc. (Hercules, Theseus...) Unfortunately I don't know how to use 'thee's and 'thou's, like Homer of the Iliad or the Odyssey, but I hope you enjoy a very…different…version of Percy Jackson.
The Minotaur was a terrifying apparition. It possessed the head of a bull and the body of a man. Its eyes shown crimson red and bloody entrails hanged from its mouth. It approached the helpless maiden who was cornered in the rocks.
"Stop!" she cried out. "I'm Princess Annabeth of….um, some cool sounding ancient Greek island that has a powerful and famous king that everybody knows!"
As a beast, the Minotaur comprehended none of her words and did not care of her rank. It was hungry, and food was all that mattered.
"Stop, you smelly bucket of nose drool!" a voice shouted.
The Minotaur whirled around and glared at the being who dared disrupt his feeding. It also didn't appreciate being called a bucket of nose drool. Monsters had feelings, too. The hero stood in front of the shining sun and the crashing waves. It was a cool backdrop.
"I am the hero here to save your life, fair maiden!" the muscular young man shouted.
He rushed to Princess Annabeth's side.
"Are you alright, fair maiden?" he asked, his emerald eyes sparkling with genuine concern.
"Now that you are here, I am," she said. "Who are you, kind hero?"
The handsome hero threw back his obsidian hair and said, "My name is Perseus Jackson, and you?"
"I am Princess Annabeth," she said, her golden hair shining in the glowing aura of the great hero.
"I will save you and have your hand in marriage!" Perseus proclaimed.
For in ancient Greek epics, it is totally normal for a hero to propose to a woman three seconds after seeing her.
"And how, hero?" the princess cried. "You possess no weapon to defend yourself!"
"I could defeat this monster barehanded if I had to…"
The princess gasped at this information.
"…but I know I have a sword here somewhere."
The hero looked into the Minotaur's eyes. They burned with absolute murder and contempt.
"Just wait one second there, malicious sir," Perseus said. "I just need to find my sword."
The Minotaur nodded and waited.
Suddenly, the hero looked up and grinned.
"Your time has come to an end, Minotaur!" the brave warrior exclaimed. "For Anaklusmos will tear you to shreds!"
He pointed his lethal weapon at the demon.
"What is that strange contraption?" Princess Annabeth exclaimed.
"It is known as a pen," the hero said, stressing the word.
"A pen?" the princess said with wonder.
"Yeah, but that really doesn't matter at the moment," the hero said, scratching his head. "I'm not even really sure what it does."
The princess nodded and waved her hands, "Continue your speech-that-always-happens-before-some-unfortuante-monster-is-destroyed."
The hero nodded and continued his speech-that-always-happens-before-some-unfortuante-monster-is-destroyed.
"This demon has no chance against me!" he yelled, "I am the son of the sea deity, Poseidon, and have defeated several other treacherous creatures worse than the Minotaur. I went through many hardships for this pen and I will not let my experience go to waste. My weapon is of deceiving appearance, Princess Annabeth, for it is actually a lethal sword of celestial bronze!"
He uncapped the pen and it instantly morphed into a glittering sword.
"This is Anaklusmos," the princess gasped.
"Meet your end, Minotaur!" the hero yelled. He was consumed by the fury of the thought that the monster was going to destroy his love.
The monster roared with equal rage. He was enraged that this hero dared to cross his path to his dinner. I mean, he was really hungry-he missed breakfast.
The warrior sprinted towards the Minotaur with blinding speed and brought Anaklusmos down in a deadly arc. The monster exploded into monster dust.
"Oh, Perseus! I was terrified!" Princess Annabeth exclaimed.
"No need, fair maiden," he said, sweeping her into her arms.
"We can be together now!" she said, her intelligent gray eyes glittering with happiness.
"Yes, my love!"
And they lived happily ever after. The king died soon and Perseus swore to have vengeance and killed the dude who killed the king. He inherited the kingdom and everybody loved him.
Yeah…that was weird. Dramatic Percy Jackson? I don't think that's gonna work.