A/N: A Danny Phantom fanfic for a good friend of mine, sketchingseredipity on DeviantART. Happy Valentine's Day, girl!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DANNY PHANTOM. Don't sue, please. :)
Of Ghosts and Bunny Boxers
Tucker Foley was God's gift to women. Or so he thought, anyway.
He leaned closer to the bathroom mirror and whispered to the glass, "Hey, beautiful."
A snort echoed in the small bathroom. Tucker turned and saw his mother leaning against the door frame, her face slowly turning red from the effort of holding back giggles. When she saw that she'd been seen, she no longer felt compelled to hold it in; her roaring laughter made Tucker wince and cover his ears.
"Jeez, Mom, can't you give a guy some privacy?!"
His mother just shook her head. "Honey, I don't know what kind of crack you been smokin', but you gotta stop. It's givin' you hallucinations or somethin' whacky."
"I don't do drugs!"
"Then how in the world are you beautiful, you dork?" She smiled at her 'dork' fondly.
Tucker flexed his scrawny arms. "Just look at me, Mom! I'm gorgeous!"
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, honey. Whatever…"
Tucker hitched the towel draped around his hips higher and marched out of the bathroom, his nose his in the air. He was opening the door to his room when he heard a voice that made him scurry back to the bathroom, ruining his dramatic exit: "Tucker baby? You left your boxers in the bathroom again. And I thought you'd gotten rid of the ones with the baby rabbits on them!"
"MOM!"
oOoOoOoOoOo
Tucker was waiting at the bus stop, shivering slightly, when he felt an invisible pair of fingers flick his ear. Hard.
"Ow! Danny!" Tucker waved his hand in the empty space where Danny most likely was. "That hurt!"
Tucker heard a ghostly chuckle and Danny suddenly phased back to human form in front of him. "You big baby, it did not."
"Did too!" Tucker insisted. "My ears are cold and you flicking them did not help!"
Danny rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You seen Sam this morning?"
It was Tucker's turn to roll his eyes. "Why do you ask, Loverboy?"
"Stop it!" Danny flushed slightly. "I was just wondering, sheesh… On second thought, she's probably boycotting school today."
"Why?"
"Valentine's Day, stupid!" Danny gestured at all the storefronts around them, and Tucker saw for the first time that they were all decorated with pink and red hearts. "She'd want to protest the inherit commercialism of the holiday."
Tucker chuckled. "Yeah, you're right. I can't believe I didn't even know today was Valentine's Day!"
"Stupid."
"You said that already."
"So? You're just twice as stupid, then."
"I'd rather be Stupidboy than Loverboy any day."
"Nice comeback."
"I know, isn't it?"
"Not."
"Jerk."
"Stupid."
"Loverbo-" Danny slapped Tucker lightly across the head before he could finish.
"Shut up, okay?" Danny said mildly.
Tucker readjusted the collar of his jacket. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." In an undertone, he added, "Loverboy."
The two boys were silent for a little while, shivering in the cold February wind. "Hey, Tuck?" Danny said eventually.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you have bunny boxers hanging out of your backpack?"
"CRAP!"
oOoOoOoOoOo
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Shh! Just shut up!" Tucker glanced up and down the hallway of the school. It was thirty minutes before school started, and naturally no one else would be there, but Tucker was taking no chances of anyone seeing his bunny underwear. Danny had argued with him the whole flight to school ("What's the big deal? Just take them back home!"), but Tucker had insisted that they dispose of the boxers someplace where no one (namely his mother) could possibly get a hold of them again. So, at 7:30 AM, Tucker and Danny were sneaking into the teacher's lounge to throw them away at the bottom of the paper scraps trash can.
"Okay, the coast is clear."
"You know," Danny said, "it doesn't really matter if no one else is around. No one else can see us."
"Look, I don't want anyone to be a witness to this!" Tucker hissed as they tiptoed into the room.
"Seriously, Tuck, what's the big deal? It's a pair of underwear – they're less than manly, sure, but why do we have to get rid of them?"
Tucker sighed. "My Great-Aunt Myrtle gave them to me, and if I don't have them 'mysteriously disappear' before she visits next week, I'll have to wear them for her."
Danny gawked. "You mean, you have to walk around in your underwear for her?!"
Tucker turned red. "Don't yell, man!"
"Sorry, but man…!" Danny started giggling. "That's hilarious! I thought my relatives were wacky! You beat me by a mile!"
"Well, just shut it, Mr. Love—Ooph!" Tucker stumbled into a stack of boxes that held packets of paper for the copier. "Ow."
The lid of the topmost box shuddered, and then shot off. "You have disturbed the Box Ghost!" a voice wailed. "You should be afraid of the contents of, um…" A rustling sound was heard for a second before the voice continued in a dramatic boom, "the Staples 8 by 11 and a half inch paper packets!"
Danny glared at the box and Tucker. "Thanks, Tucker!" He shot a beam of ectoplasm at the box and glued the top shut.
"Sorry, Danny! Do you need help?"
"No, thanks. Just get to class, will you?" The box started rocking furiously. "Go!"
Tucker didn't waste time. He ran out of the room, not noticing a pair of silk boxers floating silently to the ground behind the copier machine.
oOoOoOoOoOo
"Good morning, students."
Tucker groaned. Mr. Lancer's daily announcements were always dull enough to send him into a coma. Sure enough, they were, until one announcement… "And would the owner of a pair of 'I love bunniez' boxers please report to my office after the announcements?"
"Ah!" Tucker shrieked and jumped out of his seat. The class looked at him, at the wall speaker, and back at him before erupting into laughter. The class, in fact, was too busy laughing at him that they barely noticed Danny popping into existence in his desk. Tucker slunk out of the room and headed down to the office, fists stuffed in his pants pockets.
'Curse my Aunt Myrtle, curse her, curse her!'
oOoOoOoOoOo
"Hey, Tucker, how's detention, you destroyer of teacher lounges, you?"
"Shut up, Fenton," Tucker hissed.
A breath of air crossed in front of him, and he could hear a small chuckle from his other side. "Oh, cheer up. It's not so bad, Tuck. At least he confiscated the boxers for you. So now they won't ever show up to haunt you again!"
"I wish I could say the same about you! Don't you have anything else better to do than to torture me?"
"I forgot!" Tucker heard Danny slap his forehead. "The valentine!"
"Wait, you made a valentine?" Tucker looked at the Danny airspace curiously. "For who?"
"Never you mind," he replied testily.
"Ooh, never mind, I know who it is!" Tucker teased. "Danny lo-oves Sam, Danny lo-oves Sam!"
An invisible hand clapped over Tucker's mouth, effectively silencing him. "Shut up! Someone might hear you!"
"Yeah, hear me talking to myself? Whatever, Fenton."
"Watch it, Foley!" Danny growled.
"Okay, okay, I get it! You gonna go deliver that valentine now?"
"Yeah, I think I will. Happy Valentine's Day, Tucker."
"Yeah, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day." But Danny'd already left; Tucker was really talking to thin air this time. He put his head on the desk and waited for detention to be over.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Tucker's mom looked up from her laptop when Tucker walked in the door. "Hey, baby! What took you so long?"
"Uh…" Tucker quickly racked his brain for an excuse that did not involve the word 'detention' and came up with: "Just looking at the new display of Motorolas at Radio Shack."
A wild high pitched cackle erupted from the kitchen. "Liar! Melissa, that boy's a liar, and no mistake! He's been out with some girl, I tell ya'."
"Aunt Myrtle, I sincerely doubt that."
AUNT MYRTLE?!
Yes, it was Great-Aunt Myrtle. She strode into the room, swinging her cane. "And why not?" She peered at her grand-nephew with rheumy eyes. "He's a good lookin' one."
"He hasn't had a girlfriend since second grade, Aunt Myrtle."
"Mom!" Tucker said, mortified.
"Well, it's true, ain't it?"
Tucker was interrupted by another cackle from his aunt. "Well, that's good, ain't it? 'Cause I just happened to bring along my goddaughter with me today, and as it happens, she ain't got a Valentine. Wanna meet her?" She didn't wait for his response. "'Course you do. Amy!" she shrieked. "Amy, where you got to, girl?"
"I'm right here, Great-Aunt Myrtle," a low voice drawled, and Tucker's mouth dropped as he watched a gorgeous petite thing stride into the living room and put a hand on her hip. "Do you need something?"
"Yes," she said bluntly. "Meet your Valentine, Tucker Fowley." And she pointed at a stunned Tucker with her cane.
She turned around and Tucker was stunned by the gorgeously angelic face and huge brown eyes that faced him. "Hi, Valentine."
"Uh…hi?" Tucker squeaked. Amy giggled and he cleared his throat, blushing. "Hi, Amy. I'm Tucker." He threw out his hand towards the beauty in front of him.
Amy giggled again. "Tucker Foley, right." She gently placed her hand in Tucker's, and he marveled at how smooth her caramel skin was. "It's a pleasure."
Tucker shivered. Her voice…! It was just too, too… too damn sexy! He couldn't let go of her hand, and from Amy's one-sided smile, it didn't look like she minded.
"Take her out!" Aunt Myrtle barked, and the moment was shattered.
"Yeah, let's get out of her, Tucker," Amy agreed, and tugged him out the front door.
"Sure," Tucker breathed, and allowed himself to be pulled down the street.
Before the door closed, Tucker could hear his mother say, "I didn't know you had a goddaughter, Aunt Myrtle…"
oOoOoOoOoOo
"I love Valentine's Day," Amy sighed, tucking her arm under Tuck's elbow. "It's so nice and fun!"
"Yeah," Tucker agreed. "It is."
"It's fun to spend it with a special someone –" and here Amy glanced at her partner through her lashes and giggled again "—but it's fun to spend it with your friends, too. You know?"
"Yeah. It is."
"Who're your friends, Tucker? Can I meet them?"
"Yeah. It is."
Amy turned her head so Tucker wouldn't see her small smirk. Oh, this was too easy! "Your friends, Tucker."
"Yeah. It – Sorry, what did you say?" Tucker shook his head and blushed.
"Your. Friends. Tucker."
"Who, Sam and Danny? What about them?"
"Will I get to meet them?" Amy pouted cutely.
Tucker snorted. "I doubt it. They'll be too wrapped up in each other to want company."
Amy's eyes sparkled. Bingo! "Really?"
"Yeah, really, but don't say anything to anyone! Danny'd kill me if he knew I'd blabbed… But you won't tell, will you?" Tucker's eyes gazed at Amy with sopping adoration.
"I wouldn't tell a soul." 'Vlad, on the other hand…' she thought with a silent snicker. 'He doesn't have a soul, so I suppose it doesn't count.'
Amy looked at the foolish human boy for a moment and fluttered her eyelashes at him, just to watch him blush. She was foolish enough to enjoy his reaction. Being cooped up in Vlad's ghost realm prison of a house made her really appreciate the moments when she could interact with anybody, ghost or human.
She felt a slight tugging on her arm and stopped. Tucker had stopped them beneath a street lamp in the park, and was looking at her in a way that would've made her pulse race… if she had a pulse.
"Amy…" Tucker breathed, and awkwardly leaned forward, his lips protruding at an unnatural length from his face.
Amy silently chuckled at the poor boy's ineptitude. She had pity on him and leaned forward to grace him with a gentle kiss.
When she pulled away, Tucker was staring at her. "Wow."
Amy laughed. "Wow is right." She looked up at the sky and saw that the moon had risen since they'd started their walk. She only had an hour or so before she had to go back to Vlad. She cozied up to Tucker. "Let's head back, shall we, Valentine?"
Tucker's ears turned pink. "Sh-sure," he stammered, and he turned them back the way they'd come.
oOoOoOoOoOo
"I had a really great time tonight, Tucker Foley."
Tucker flushed. Why couldn't he stop doing that around her?! "I'm glad. I-I did too."
Amy chuckled. "Well, good night." She started walking down the steps.
"Wait, aren't you going to come inside?" Tucker protested.
She grinned wryly. "Not tonight, I think."
"But wait a sec –" Tucker rattled the doorknob and finally got the door open. "I'm sure Great Aunt Myrtle would love it if you – huh?"
Amy was gone.
Tucker looked around, but there weren't even footsteps to tell him where she'd gone. He ran into the living room, where his aunt and mother were just finishing their third cup of coffee.
"Amy's gone!" he yelled.
Great Aunt Myrtle chortled. "Finally find y'self a Valentine, huh?"
"What?"
"Honey, who're you shouting about?"
"Amy! Aunt Myrtle's goddaughter, she was just here, and she –!"
"I ain't got a goddaughter," Aunt Myrtle boomed.
"But she –"
"Stop foolin' around, boy, and get to your room! You need to send this child to bed sooner, Maureen," Aunt Myrtle scolded his mother.
Tucker looked at his mother for an appeal of the order, but his mother simply glared at him. Confused as all get-out, he walked up to his room and nearly screamed.
"Shut up, Tucker!" Danny hurriedly got off his bed and put his hand over his friend's mouth. "D'you want everybody to know I'm up here?"
"You scared the bajeesus out of me! What're you doing here, anyway?"
Danny grew serious. "I was on my way to deliver Sa- the valentine, when I sensed a ghost around here. You haven't seen one, have you?"
"No, I –" Tucker remembered the strange scene that had just happened downstairs and gulped. "Maybe."
"Really? Tucker, where is it?"
"It's –" Tucker started, but was suddenly stopped when a pale, shining figure walked out of the shadows behind Danny. She stopped behind Danny and winked.
"Tucker?"
Tucker's mouth opened and closed, undecided about what to do about whether to alert Danny to Amy's presence. He closed his eyes, and suddenly had a vision as clear as if it was really happening:
"Shh…" She leaned in close, pressing her pointer finger to his lips to silence him and shaking her head slightly. Pulling away slowly, a devilish look spread across the chocolate brown eyes that remained intently fixed on his until she turned abruptly on her heel and flew from the room.
Tucker's eyes popped open. Amy was gone, and Danny was looking at him strangely. "Tucker?"
He looked at Danny. "No, sorry, haven't seen anyone around here."
Danny looked at Tucker skeptically. "Really?"
"Really." Tucker grinned. "Don't you have a valentine to deliver?"
"Oh, right." Danny smiled. "Thanks for the reminder. See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
When Danny was gone, Tucker flopped back on his bed. "You're welcome, Amy. That's for making today not as bad as it could've been."
oOoOoOoOoOo
Watching from the roof, Amy smiled. "Thanks, Valentine." She carefully phased a pair of silk bunny boxers back into his drawer from where she'd stolen them this morning after Tucker had stuffed them there when his mom had scolded him. "For the best day I've had in centuries."
Her form fizzled back into the ghost realm, where Vlad was waiting.
"So, did you find out anything about Fenton?" he demanded without preamble.
Amy tossed her hair and grinned. "Nothing important."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
Vlad cursed and zoomed away, leaving her to float 'home' alone. 'You're welcome, Tucker Foley,' she thought wryly, and laughed quietly to herself.
'Happy Valentine's Day.'