"That was…" he rolled on his side, facing away from her.
"Oh, I know" Hannah smiled, and grabbed the sheets up to her chest.
"We're so damn good together!" Booth grinned and took Hannah in his arms, his right hand pulling her blond hair back from her face while his left reached to the open drawer on his nightstand.
"Too bad I have to wake up for work in three hours…" Hannah said dejectedly as she kissed Booth's neck. He rolled on top of her and sat back up, getting her attention. She eyed him wearily and perched on her elbows, waiting.
"So, Hannah. I love you," Booth said, smiling.
"I love you too, Seeley, but I have something to tell you that you may not like."
"Han, hold on a sec honey. I, Seeley Joseph Booth, love you, Hannah Burley, and I want you to know that. I want you to always know that for as long as we're alive, and even beyond that. You saved me in a war zone, in a place where most people are lost, not saved. I may have arrested you, but that day, you're the one who locked up me and stole my heart. I want to wake up with you by my side everyday for the next thirty or forty or fifty years. I want you to say yes. Hannah Burley, will you marry me, Seeley Booth?" He leaned down and looked into her eyes, searching for something in the blue depths. "Please?" Booth added with his charm smile, holding out a box with an ostentatious diamond ring.
She didn't answer. Instead, Hannah flipped Booth over so she was on top and kissed him, and kissed him hard. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, and he greedily accepted the deepened kiss. Hands tangled into hair and blood pumped as the two got closer. Finally, Hannah pulled away, gasping for air.
"No." a soft sigh escaped from her lips as she smiled sadly.
"What? Why not? I love you." Booth's heart constricted. This was getting to be too much; he could only take so much repeated rejection. "The diamond is real, you know. Why won't you marry me?"
"Because I love you, and I know you love me. But I love my freedom more. I can't commit to you for decades. I cannot be a mom or a wife you lives in DC her entire life and wonders what she missed, or how far she could have gone. I'm not young, Seeley. But I'm not old, either. I still have my career and happiness to consider." Hannah sighed again as she watched the pain pool in her lover's eyes.
"I'm not asking for your freedom, Hannah. I'm just asking for you." Booth tried to convince her, but he was never as good at convincing as he was simply asking.
"I know, Seeley. But besides my freedom, I'd lose my dignity. I'm not a cocky woman, but I do require monogamous loyalty. And you're not the kind of man who would cheat on me. And you're not the kind of man who would admit he was wrong about me. I know you better than that. But I know that your heat does not belong to me, and so do you. I am not a consolation prize, Seeley. And you've never treated me like on. But I can still see in your eyes how you look at me and then at her; I'm a journalist, and a damn good one and I observe this every time you two are together. Eventually, I will come to resent you because I will feel stuck. And, sooner or later, you will resent me because of Temperance."
"Excuse me? Hannah, Bones and I, we never had anything. We never will. You and me, we're what I'm concerned with. Not Bones." Booth protested, sitting on the edge of the bed while Hannah sat erect against the headboard.
"Seeley, spare me. I'm not stupid. We had our moment, and it was a damn good one. But you and Temperance, apparently, have a moment that started before I came and will go on long after I've gone. Who am I to get between that? And who are you to ask for my freedom?"
"Hannah…" he tried again to interject, to protest. He looked into her blue eyes, the color of a winter ocean; the wrong color of blue. His heart thudded painfully against his rib cage. Despite what Hannah said, he did love her. Their relationship was healing and sexy and fun and short lived. It was not destiny, it did not have the taste of fate.
"I wanted to tell you before that my old editor called and offered me another position. She needs someone to do a piece on the racial tension in Australia between the Aboriginals and the white locals. I accepted. I fly out at seven."
"Shit. What am I supposed to do?"
"Seeley, you had a great thing before I came, as far as I can tell. We had a great thing, a fantastic thing, but now it's over. Do what I'm going to do: have a few shots of tequila, take an Ambien after, and then move on. God damn it this hurts more than I thought…" Hannah stood up and pulled on some clothes.
"I wanted to tell you sooner, Seeley, but I just didn't know how. I'm sorry," she said as she pulled her hair back into a messy bun. "I'll finish packing, and take the couch."
"Hannah," Booth said after he pulled on his boxers, "I'm taking the couch. And I'm sorry too. I just seem to screw relationships up, lately." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and smiled morosely.
Hannah wasn't a consolation prize. She was much, much better. But she wasn't Bones. Why go for anything other than the best? Brennan had just poured her heart out to him in the car, and he had let her down hard. He had abandoned her when she needed him tonight. Hell, he had abandoned her these past few months. He had to mend their friendship first, and then convince her that she wasn't a gamble, not to him. This time, he'd go all in, not just a desperate gambit.