Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co., any elements taken from Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (like Andy Evens), Fall Out Boy, "Strawberry Fields Forever" by the Beatles, or any of the OC's besides Lizzy.

A/N: Okay, so I'm really bored. I wrote this around three years ago and I was reading it again today and decided that, although Draco is OOC, it wasn't terrible. So I'm posting chapter one… and we'll see if anything else gets posted. If you didn't know, I'm not exactly known for finishing stories. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Some of the elements of the story are from the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. If you haven't read her books, you totally should.

Warnings: Rape, cutting, language, and major OOCness on the part of Draco. (I swear that it won't happen throughout the whole story. I'm just too lazy to change it in this chapter, which was already all written. He'll be back to his arsehole self in chapter two. Promise.)

Ginny's PoV

Ugh. Another year at Hogwarts.

It's not as if I don't like Hogwarts; that's not true. I love it.

But going back to school means having to face people, having to endure endless chatter and questions, but worst of all, having to face HIM.

"GINNY!"

Oh, shit. Now Mum's going to start bitching at me to get up and dressed.

I feel somebody shake me. I groan, and they shake me again.

"Get up, Ginny, or you won't get any breakfast!"

My eyes slowly open in spite of my decision to keep them closed. Standing over me is Fred. Actually, it might be George, but you can never tell, and they don't care.

"Go 'way. Trying to sleep," I mumble, trying to act like I haven't been awake the whole night. I haven't been sleeping very well this whole summer, but with the right makeup, you can't tell.

Fred/George's grin widens. "Sorry, Gin, but you only have five minutes to get ready before they leave for the Hogwarts Express."

I sit straight up. "WHAT?"

"Only joking, Ginny. You have a total of ten minutes to get ready. Mum's got breakfast all ready, and the others are already up."

I get up and push him out of my room. Damn, only ten minutes? Why couldn't they wake me sooner? Bloody idiots…

I get dressed in two minutes, a record time for me. I put on a black v-neck long-sleeved T-shirt with "Stop looking at my chest, perv!" written on it in neon pink, and black cargo pants. I also have black platform boots on that have a five-inch platform and a seven-inch heel, and I'm wearing a pin that says "Leave me alone" on it.

I sit at my makeup table and add some finishing touches to my "beautiful" (yeah, right) face, first getting rid of the bags under my eyes, and then adding some mascara and eyeliner. After that, I drag my trunk downstairs.

When I step into the kitchen, everyone stares at me. Ron's mouth is wide open, his jaw slack, so I decide to pick on him.

"What's the matter, Ron? Never seen your own sister before?" I ask, hand on hip.

Unfortunately, at this point, Mum regains her voice.

"Ginevra Weasley, what are you wearing?"

I look down and shrug. "Clothes."

"Go and change! I will not let you out of the house looking like that!"

I open my mouth to respond with one of my wonderfully biting remarks (note the sarcasm), but Dad beats me to it.

"Molly, we have to leave now if we're going to make the train. Let Ginny wear what she wants; she'll be changing into her robes soon, anyway."

Mum thinks about that. "Alright, Arthur, but if she dresses like this all year, then we'll need to talk. OK, kids, let's get going!"

Harry and Hermione thank Mum for her "hospitality" and we all get into the car. Woohoo.

During the car ride, Hermione keeps trying to talk to me, but I ignore her and she finally gives up and starts talking to Harry and Ron instead. Mum frowns but says nothing.

I'm glad when we reach the station. I go through the barrier first and lose myself in the crowd.

I stand in the corner of the platform, waiting for my best friend Li, when HE sees me. I can see HIM coming towards me, making his way through the crowd.

I panic and try to run, but my legs don't work anymore. HE reaches me and touches my shoulder. I flinch and look up at HIM with fearful eyes.

"'Ello, poppit," HE whispers, taking my hand. HE leans over and tilts my face up so that our lips meet.

FLASHBACK

"'Ello, poppit," he says. I smile.

"Hey!" I greet him, looking up and meeting his lips. We fence with our tongues until we're dizzy from lack of air.

He smirks, pushes me down onto the bed.

"You know you want to…" he says seductively. But I don't want to… and he won't listen…

END FLASHBACK

I push away and run, leaving my trunk there. I'm looking back to see if HE's following (he is), so I don't see who I run into.

Draco's PoV

Shit. That hurt. Whoever did that is going to pay.

I look at the girl sprawled out half on top of me and half off. It's the Weasley girl. I'm ready to chew her out when I see her staring at a guy with a look of utter fear on her face. I know that look. It's how I feel before my father beats me.

"Sorry, Malfoy," she mumbles, getting up, ready to run again.

I grab her arm and she flinches in both pain and fear. What did that guy do to her? I take pity on her. I blame temporary loss of sanity.

"Is that guy bothering you?" I ask. She nods slowly, looking at me suspiciously.

I go up to the guy, who I recognize as a seventh-year Ravenclaw named Andy Evans. He stops walking when he sees me.

"Evans, what did you do to Weasley?" I ask.

"I didn't do anything to her that she didn't want me to do," he sneers at me.

"Well, she obviously didn't like it, so stay away from her."

He shrugs and walks in another direction.

I go back to where Weasley was watching..

"He won't bother you anymore," I tell her. She swallows and nods. The fear fades from her eyes, although a little of it remains.

"Thank you," she says stiffly, then runs after a brown-haired girl like nothing ever happened.

Girls.

Ginny's PoV

"Li! Li!" I yell, trying to catch up to my friend. She turns around and smiles. I finally catch up with her, and she hugs me tightly.

"Ginny! You haven't owled me all summer! How am I supposed to go through the whole summer without hearing from my best friend even once?" she says, smacking my hand gently.

I smile in spite of myself. HE seems so far away now.

"Sorry, Li, I've been really busy. So, how was your summer?"

As Li recounts her entire summer, including the guy from America that she dated while visiting, I mentally doze off. I haven't gotten much sleep since IT happened.

"Ginny! Wake up!"

Did I really doze off? Oops.

"Sorry, Li. I didn't get any sleep last night." Truth. "The train is boarding, we'd better go if we want a good seat." Truth. "I'm fine, really." Lie.

Li still looks at me suspiciously, but allows herself to be distracted as we go back for my trunk and then board the train.

Once we're seated comfortably in the last compartment of the Hogwarts Express, Li turns to me with an eyebrow raised.

"Ginny, what the hell are you wearing?"

Once more, I look down and shrug. "Clothes."

"But they're black! What happened to the bright, happy, non-Goth Ginny?"

"I'm not Goth!" I protest, avoiding the question.

"I know you're not, but do you have any idea whatsoever of how many people will think you're Goth?"

"So? Let them think. I don't care," I say, hoping she doesn't ask any more questions.

Li looks at me and nods approvingly. "I like it, Gin."

"Thankee."

We let our conversation wander, and just as we're about to get on the subject of Brad, the "hot senior" that Li dated in America, the compartment door opens and in walks Draco Malfoy.

And just as I thought I had forgotten about IT, too.

He smirks. "So, Weasley, gonna tell me what happened out there?"

I stand up and cross my arms. "No."

"Aww, why not? Is the Weasel scared?"

Li looks between us, confused. "Ginny, what's he talking about?"

"Nothing," I answer. Then I spot something. "So, Malfoy, gonna tell me what that is?"

I point to his cheek where a charm had obviously just worn off and an ugly-looking bruise has blossomed.

I can see a flicker of panic in his eyes, but it leaves as soon as it comes.

"No," he says flatly.

"Then bugger off and sit with all your Slytherin groupies," I say. He turns on his heel and leaves.

Draco's PoV

Shit, shit, SHIT. How the hell did the charm wear off? Now Weaslette is probably going to run off and tell all her little friends about the bruise she saw on Draco Malfoy's perfect face.

Fuck.

Well, the first thing to do is get the charm back up. I do, and then I go back to my compartment. I dig around in my trunk and find what I was looking for. Putting it in my pocket, I promptly leave the compartment, letting Pansy call after me like a lunatic.

Ginny's PoV

Dammit. He came this close to finding out, and if I know anything at all about Draco Malfoy, he'll find out. Then he'll tell the whole fricking school. Fuck.

I dig around in my trunk for something and put it in my pocket once I find it. Mumbling some lame excuse about having to use the loo, I walk out of the compartment.

I look for an empty compartment, and when I find one, I step inside and put a locking charm on the door.

I take the object out of my pocket and examine it absently. It's a small, plain dagger with an extremely sharp blade.

I pull up the sleeve covering my left arm and put the sharpest part of the blade to the skin. I press down and a trail of crimson appears beneath the knife. I do this two more times, pressing harder each time, until I can't feel anything anymore. I'm numb, and I like it that way. However, HIS face appears in front of my face, along with Li's unbelieving face, and one lonesome tear falls.

"You stupid bloody idiot," I whisper to myself. "If you hadn't been so careless, it never would've happened. You're weak, and you always will be."

"Why do you say you're weak, Ginny?" a voice comes from the door. No. I locked it. HE can't be here, HE just can't.

But he is.

"'Ello, poppit," he says, coming closer to me. I'm scared; I can't move. My feet are frozen.

I whimper, try to call for help, for anybody, but a whimper is all that comes out.

He smirks. "Are you scared, Ginny? You liked it last time; you know you did. Wanna do it again?"

I shake my head no. No, not again, not ever, but he doesn't listen. He comes closer, kisses me, holds my head in place so I can't stop the kiss. I try to scream, but I can't. He stuffs something in my mouth, and I can't spit it out.

"You know you want to, bitch, and you know you liked it last time. And now you've got Malfoy on my tail. You'll pay, but we need a little bit of fun first."

He forces me to the floor, gets on top of me. Nonononono. This is just like last time. I try to fight, try to force him off, but he holds my hands down with one hand and unzips his jeans with the other. Down come his pants, down come mine. No. Won't let him, not again…

But it's too late. He's inside me and it hurts it hurts it hurts get out get off.

And he does. Eventually. He zips up his jeans and smiles at me, getting up.

"Wasn't that fun, Ginevra Weasley?" he says casually, walking out the compartment door.

I get up, pull up my pants, pick up my knife, and cry.

After I had just begun to feel as if HE wouldn't come back, the door opens. I freeze.

Draco Malfoy walks into the room, looking slightly taken aback at my crying. Nonetheless, he acts like a Malfoy.

"Aww, is Weaslette crying?" he sneers. I only cry harder, clutching my still-bloody knife like a teddy bear.

"Go away, Malfoy," I sniff.

"No, I think I like this compartment," he says, sitting down opposite me. He spots the bloody knife.

"Weasley, tell me you weren't doing what I think you were doing," he says, taking the knife away. I stop crying.

"Give that back," I snarl, making a grab for it. He holds it out of my reach.

"As Head Boy, I am confiscating this knife," he proclaims, examining it. I make another wild grab for it, but he pockets it. I glare.

"May I please have my knife back, Malfoy?" I ask nicely, not really expecting it to do anything. He smirks.

"I'm sorry, but knives are not allowed in Hogwarts, except for table knives in the Great Hall and the kitchen." I want to smack him, but I'd die rather than touch another boy. I made that mistake once; I'm not about to do it again.

"Fine," I say, getting up. "I'll be leaving, then."

"Wait," he says. I turn around slowly.

"Yes?"

"Roll up your sleeves."

Shit, shit, shit. Not good not good not good.

"No."

"As Head Boy, I command you to roll up your sleeves," he says, looking serious. I snort.

"Head Boy? Is that what they told you? You look more like a royal bastard to me."

And I flounce out, feeling proud of myself. I don't really care when he shouts behind me, "Detention, Weasley!"

Instead, I just flip him off.

Once I get back to my compartment, minus my knife (damn Malfoy), I see that Val and Lauren have also joined our lovely entourage. I sit down and stare out the window. I think about what just happened and ignore the others. I want to go to sleep; I want to be alone.

And I want my knife back. Goddammit, I need my knife back. Three isn't good enough.

Despite my scrutiny of the scenery outside the window of the Hogwarts Express, I don't really realize that we've reached Hogwarts until Val pokes me and informs me that we're the only ones left on the train.

We go out and find the last thestral-pulled carriage. We're pulled up towards the castle at high speed and I start humming without realizing it. It's a song by Fall Out Boy, and it perfectly describes my experiences with a guy named Chris. Chris died during the summer, killed by fucking Death Eaters.

"Hey Chris, you were our only friend, and I know this is belated, we love you back," Li sings along with my humming. She was the genius who introduced me to Fall Out Boy, as well as many other Muggle bands. The whole carriage falls silent with the memory of Chris and his twin, Nicole. They were both in our "group".

I absently pick at my chapped lips, making them bleed, until Lauren slaps my hand away. I glare at her and she shrugs, slapping my hand gently as it rises to my lips again.

"So, how was everybody's summer?" Li asks, breaking the silence. I breathe in relief and stare out the window again.

"So, Ginny, how was your summer?" Val asked. "None of us got any owls from you!"

Well, let's see. I was raped by my "boyfriend" and I started cutting. Anything else you want to know?

I force a smile. "Nothing special. Y'know, sleep in, play Quidditch, do homework… the same old stuff."

I look out the window again and find that we're at Hogwarts. I'm the first to get out of the carriage and the very last one to walk into the school.

I sit in the last available seat, at the very end of the Gryffindor table. The Sorting starts and I turn my head to the front of the room and doze off with my eyes open. I only wake up as Dumbledore stands up.

"I'm sorry to inform you that Voldemort" a bunch of gasps throughout the room "has struck again in these sad times. This time, he killed two of our own, Chris and Nicole Andersson. Let this be a moment of silence for these two brilliant children."

There is silence all through the Great Hall, only broken by the chatter of the Slytherin table. I look over and see that Malfoy isn't talking; his face is pale and he looks to be breathing heavily. I would bet anything that he killed my friends.

God, I hate him so much. The only good thing he's every done anyone is scare off HIM in the train station, and we all know how much that worked, anyway. And he took my knife. Bloody bastard… he'll pay…

"Ginny!" I hear my name shrieked. I turn around and there's a girl with blonde braids, calling my name.

Hold on. I know those braids.

"Lizzy?"

She grins and nods, jumping into my arms like she's five years old instead of her eleven.

"Oh my God! Lizzy! But how come you're not…" I trail off. In case you were wondering, Lizzy is Chris and Nicole's little sister.

"Dead?" she asks softly. I nod. "I was at a friend's house that night. I've been at Hogwarts ever since. But it's OK! I've discovered all the secret passages!"

I smile. "I bet you did. So, you got into Gryffindor?"

"Yep!" she says happily. Her enthusiastic response makes my smile grow. All thoughts of the train are fading away.

I allow myself to be pulled up to Gryffindor Tower after the feast by Lizzy, although I try to shrink into the background every time we pass a boy. We finally reach the Fat Lady, and Lizzy says the password, which I seem to have missed in my daze.

Before we can go in, however, Hermione comes up to us.

"Ginny, you've got to go see Dumbledore. Malfoy told him something and now Professor Dumbledore wants to see you."

"Fuck," I whisper, causing Lizzy to screech "VIRGIN EARS!" and Hermione to look at me disapprovingly.

"Fine, I'll go. Hermione, take care of Lizzy for me; make sure she actually goes to bed instead of sneaking out, 'kay?" I ask, tickling Lizzy, who shrieks with laughter.

I turn around and walk to Dumbledore's office, only to see Draco Malfoy standing there, leaning against the gargoyle.

"What the fuck did you tell him?" I hiss. He smirks.

"Five points from Gryffindor for swearing at the Head Boy, and I told him about that literally bloody knife of yours."

"Malfoy, please… go tell him it was a mistake. That it wasn't my knife; it wasn't my blood, please. Tell him anything," I whisper. Dumbledore's gonna know, Malfoy's gonna know, the whole school's gonna know… the phrases are singing like melodies in my head. I can't get them out…

He can't know. Nobody can know.

And so I run.

I run past everything, out of the castle, right to the edge of the cliff. I sit on the edge and dangle my legs over, not really thinking about much. I'm not thinking about jumping at all; all that's going through my mind is 'getawaygetawaygetaway'.

It's an extremely cold night, though, and soon I'm shivering and freezing. I sneeze and cough and I hear footsteps behind me.

I start in surprise and fright and tip off the cliff. I'm not falling, though, at least not yet. I'm still holding on with my hands. They're slipping, though, and one new thought runs through my mind like a broken record: 'don't let me die, please don't let me die'.

I desperately try to hold on, but my hands are still slipping. Suddenly there's a face above me. My eyes light up, but then they dull again as I see who it is. It's Malfoy, the whole reason that I'm here.

"Damn, Weasley, how many times do I have to save you in one day?" he asks, but he doesn't sound mad. Then again, I'm not much of a judge, especially right now, while I'm hanging off a cliff.

He holds out a hand and I try to grab onto it, but my hand's too sweaty and numb and cold, and I can't hold on. The other hand slips, and I'm falling, grasping for anything, anything to grab on to, just to prevent me from falling.

I hit my head on a rock and blackness overtakes me.

Review? Or don't, it's your choice, I'm not going to whore for it. :)