I remember what you said

I remember every word

Her hair is like silk. Spun gold. It catches the sun and shines brilliantly. Her clear blue eyes look toward me, but appear to be focusing on something in the distance.

"Emmett…we need to talk…"

I remember how the earth stopped turning

My mind shuts off. It does not allow me to process what I am hearing.

We were sitting on the bed

And the clock was ticking louder

I can hear my pulse as my heart beats faster. I feel as if she is about to slip away.

There's the overwhelming smell of powder in the air

Her room. Her very essence surrounds us. This is a betrayal to her optimism.

Everything is skewed

Everything is blurred

Suddenly, the room spins. It is my tears obscuring my vision.

I remember every word

This memory continues to haunt me.

I remember how we roared

Laughed so hard we almost cried

Laughed so long I felt the earth stop turning

We are walking on the beach with sand between our toes. A pink silk scarf embodies bravery. I can almost ignore its presence.

We were never ever bored

For you, even the sight of snow is a miracle.

And you made us feel amazing

We were blazing through our lives like comets through the sky

Loss of breath. Bodies glistening. I hope to make you feel invincible. Give you my strength.

Now that you're not here

Everything's awry

I question if I am capable of going on without you.

The world is good you said

You refuse pity. You would rather we become philanthropic and ethical in your name.

Enjoy its highs you said

The summer flies you said

"Life is too short…"

You inspire me to believe in what is right and just.

So make a parade

Of every moment

Celebrate the simple things.

I celebrate you.

Now throw away your hate

And focus on what's great instead

I cannot deny this loss of faith. In your eyes, I see nothing but determination.

I'm dying so there's no time for debate

You said

I still cannot envision the end.

I remember how you smiled

You were trying not to smile

Then you smiled and the earth stopped turning

Harvard. Late summer. I look upon the most stunning woman I have ever known. Your eyes meet mine and I know my life will never be the same.

All the images are filed

All the images keep flicking

So many memories. The look of love in your eyes the day you asked for my hand.

Also all of us are slow at picking up our cues

Nothing left to win

Nothing more to lose

I am guilty for having wasted so much time. We should not allow angst to rule our lives.

The world is good she said

You will not allow me pity. I thank you for sharing your life with me.

Enjoy its shit she said

'Cuz this is it she said

You acknowledge my pain, but focus on the beauty of our love. A life transformed.

So make a parade

Of every moment

As much as I will savor these days, it is difficult to embrace life as you have.

Now pull up to the curb

The sign 'Do not disturb' is ahead

A sorority of support awaits me. I will never be truly alone.

The truth is that you made my life superb

She said

I hear your cry. I hold you. You apologize for bringing this upon me.

I reassure you I would not trade a second of our life together.

On a Sunday night in May

In a very quiet way

I remember how the earth stopped turning

Realization hits me. My chest is tight.

Turning

I cannot…

Turning

I open my mouth…

Turning!

I breathe the first breath of life without you.