Amelia ran her fingers through her hair and stretched. Two of her children, Jib and Tillie, were playing checkers on the floor of her office. Jib, brunette with indigo blue eyes, was winning, a stack of Tillie's red checkers beside her. Tillie, blond haired and blue eyed, was furrowing her brow in concentration. The two high IQ-ed four year olds were having a silent war. Well, silent for now. Amelia began doing her paperwork once more, quickly now. She wanted to get it done before a sibling fight started.
She'd just finished the last page when BAM, flying checkerboard.
"YOU CHEATED!"
"I DID NOT TILLIE!"
"YOU GOT ALL MY PIECES AND YOU'VE NEVER WON AT CHECKERS IN YOUR LIFE!"
"YOU JUST CAN'T TAKE LOOSIN'!"
"PAPAAAA!" Tillie whined.
"MAAMAAAA!" Jib cried, fake tears in her eyes as she ran to their mother and scrambled into her lap.
"What, what's happening?" Delbert came in seconds later, his shirt covered in paint and his fur shining with glitter.
"PAPA JIB CHEATED!" Tillie ran over to Delbert, whimpering, and grabbed his leg. Delbert blinked and picked her up. Tillie buried her face into his shirt. "SHE CHEATED! SHE CHEATED! JIB'S A CHEAT PAPA!"
Jib grabbed Amelia's shirt in her small fists. "I DIDN'T CHEAT! I'M NOTTA CHEAT MAMA I'M NOT! MAMA TELL TILLIE I DIDN'T CHEAT MAMA TEEELLL HEEERRRR!" She screamed and cried, sniffling and pouting as she looked up at her mother. Amelia just sighed and held Jib to her, who just cried.
"Uuuuhhh...checker match?" Delbert questioned, lightly bouncing Tillie in his arms.
"Checker match." Amelia repeated, nodding. Sadly wasn't the first time this had happened.
"Ah, one o'clock. Right on time..." Delbert sighed. "Looks like it's naptime for you two."
"NO, NO WE-"
"JIB ISN'T A CHEAT-"
"I LOVE TILLIE-"
"WE DON'T NEED A NAP!"
"Mummy will sing you a song."
"I'm really tired..."
"A nap sounds good right now..."
Delbert chuckled and looked at Amelia, who smiled and stood, setting down Jib as Delbert did the same with Tillie.
"You girls go tell your siblings and find a nap spot. I'll be there in a moment." Amelia said, shoving them lightly to the door. They both left. Amelia turned to Delbert.
"Where did the paint and glitter come from Edward?" She grinned slightly.
Delbert sighed and shook himself, a thick circle of glitter forming around him. "I was finger painting with Matey and Sunny knocked down a bucket of glitter he had open-he climbed onto the top shelf."
"...So the paint...?"
"Matey finger painted the paper, got bored, and decided squirting it on me would be more fun."
Amelia chuckled, "ah."
Delbert blew air between his teeth and looked at her. "Well care to kiss the vampire or must I put on some emo makeup too?"
Amelia grinned and kissed him. Four, almost five years of marriage with Delbert Doppler and he continued to make her smile with almost everything he said. They both hated Twighlight but it was a good excuse to spend a couple minutes kissing. By the time they finished their little lovey dovey moment, Jib, Tillie, Matey-who looked like a miniture of her auburn haired and green eyed mother-, and Sunny-a miniture of their brown eyed and haired father and the only Canid-, were all passed out in a pile of blankets and pillows in the living room.
"Thank Lord." Amelia breathed in relief.
"I'm taking a shower..." Delbert looked to Amelia before going back upstairs to do so.
Amelia went over to the children and adjusted them more comfortably on the pillows and blankets before looking around and picking up the messes they made. Crayons scattered across the floor, coloring books, paints with their caps off and drying-digging half eaten gronola bars out from between the cushions and scraping gum from several different surfaces. Delbert finished his shower halfway through the process and came down to help her. Within an hour and a half the living room was back to normal.
"Now for the rest of the house..." Delbert said before flopping onto the couch, Amelia soon following. He put his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.
"I'm tired." She mumbled, nuzzling his neck.
"So am I...I more want a break than a nap to be honest." Delbert layed his head on hers, watching their children sleep soundly.
"There are no break in parenting dear..."
"No, no there isn't Amelia...but there are babysitters." He looked thoughtful now, his eyes going from the children to the phonebook.
"Delbert...what are you thinking?" Amelia's voice held a tone of caution as she looked at her husband with a raised eyebrow.
"I was just thinking...well it is Saterday, I don't have anymore paperwork, you don't have any more paperwork. We could go out tonight, hire a babysitter to watch the kids." He suggested this somewhat nonchanlantly while leaning over and taking the phonebook, leafing through it.
"Oooh...I don't know Delby..." Amelia bit her lip a bit nervously while watching Tillie latch onto Sunny's ear and continue sleeping. "They- I mean I don't want some random teenager coming in here and watching our children...anything could happen I mean...I just don't know."
Delbert seemed to think it over and put the phonebook to the side. "Well why not hire a person who isn't a complete stranger?"
She looked at him curiously,"like...a friend?"
"Yes...Naomi?"
"Working."
"Arrow?"
"Working."
"Uuuuhhh...Your f- no no nevermind..." Delbert thought for a long time. "...Victoria maybe?"
Amelia raised both eyebrows, "Victoria? You of all people would suggest Victoria?"
"Right, right she's always working- and I don't hate her she hates me honey."
"Oooooh believe me I know she hates you dear...and actually she isn't working today."
It was Delbert's turn to look surprised- or rather stunned. Victoria, Amelia's sister who was 10 years her elder, was not working. She was ALWAYS working. Working at her job as Fleet Admiral, doing paperwork, and occasionally she would actually socialize by eating dinner at their home- only for Amelia-, talking with her daughter or beau Charles Casey, or...well it wasn't socilazing but she could often be found yelling at Wife Swap on the telly. Or Dancing with the Stars, 16 and Pregnant, and several other reality TV programs just so she could scream at them for being so stupid. Oh, and Disney channel.
"Why is she not working? Is she DEAD?"
Amelia slapped his shoulder, "oh shush Delbert, she just said for medical reasons she can't be working for awhile. Probably start back up within a week the way she is, if not today. She's probably going mad at her house since Minerva is visiting with someone."
"What kind of medical reasons would that w- oh yes..." Delbert coughed akwardly. Victora was the perfect picture of health and beauty in almost every way. Her one fatal flaw was heart issues. She'd been stabbed a few times-5 or 6. It was a miracle she was alive. Thanks to her brilliant doctor and best friend Louise Lindsey she was still alive and able to function perfectly fine unless something decided to be an ass or she forgot her medication. She also had orthadontal problems, but you'd only know that if you were family.
"Well, you want to give it a try?" Amelia asked, ears perked.
"Well why not. I'd like to spend a night with my wife." Delbert gave her a lopsided grin. Amelia took this as a cue and called Victoria.
"Hullo?" Her deeply accented voice answered.
"Hello Victoria."
"Oh hullo Amelia. Wot is it?"
Amelia began pacing as she always did while talking on the phone. "Remember how you were complaining about having nothing to do?"
"Well yes...ware' is this going...?" Victoria sounded suspicious.
"Well...could you watch the children for a few hours?"
"Define a "few""
"Hmm... five plus."
"No."
"Please!"
"No."
"Pleaseeeeeeee!"
"No Amelia! I am naut watching those little rahscles!"
"PLEEAAASSEEE SISSY!"
"NO!"
"I'll pay you."
"Absolutly naut."
"...I'll give you fifty dollers and 10 Super-Sized jars of Nutella."
"When do you need me ovar?" Victoria now sounded perfectly willing.
Amelia smirked. Nutella really was magical stuff. "About four, five o'clock I'd think." She glanced at Delbert, who nodded in confirmination, grinning.
"A'right then. I'll be over there."
"Thank you Tori."
"You don't bring the Nutella and I'll pay Minerva to teepee your 'ouse." With that she hung up, leaving Amelia and Delbert happily hugging each other and silently cheering like baffoons for just earning a day off.
Four hours later Amelia stood at the door in light blue dress next to Victoria, who was not giving a single damn in her smiling froggy slippers, sweatpants and baggy shirt that read "I'mma Cuddle You" with Simba the lion snuggling Nala by a river that had the Disney ensignia hidden in the ripples of the water. Amelia slipped on a pair of simple gold hoop earrings as she spoke.
"Don't give them soda, cookies, candy, or sugar of any kind. Dinner is in the fridge since I don't want you burning down the house. You can heat it in the microwave, and if push comes to shove, the vodka is in the top shelf by the Oreos."
"Aye, aye, aye, and thaunk you." Victoria nodded, her chestnut curly hair and dangly earrings bouncing.
"Don't eat my Nutella."
"No promises."
"Had a feeling..." Amelia sighed and gave herself a quick look in the mirror and turned back to Victoria.
"Don't get the cops called here again."
"That was WON time, WON!"
"Victoria...you got put in jail for three days for indecent exposure."
"I was high..."
"Yes...don't get high." Amelia said this firmly as she grabbed her purse.
"So...I should have left this at home then?" Victoria held up a bag of green herbs that was definately not oregeno.
"Oh good Lord Victoria, NO!"
"I'll give you some later."
"Ok, one puff...ONE."
"Thank you." Victoria looked rather smug and hugged her sister.
"We'll be back by at least midnight."
"A'right. Hauve fun Amelia." Victoria smiled some at her sister, who smiled back and left out to the car where Delbert was waiting. Victoria waited until she was just about to close her door before coming out on the porch and waving. "Wait!"
Amelia leaned out the window, "what, what is it?"
"Just know Amelia...another nephew this time would be lovely!" Victoria had a mischiviously evil grin as her sister rolled her eyes, flipped her the "universal sign of love and goodwill" to some, other the middle finger, and drove off.
Victoria lazily stretched and scratched her head, turning back into the house and shutting the door. Matey stood, staring at her curiously. Victoria blinked.
"Hullo Matey."
"Hi Auntie..." Matey cocked her head to the side, "why do you talk like that?"
"Like wot?"
"Like that! All...funny."
Victoria crossed her arms. "It isn't funny, it is how I taulk."
"Well how you talk is funny Auntie." Matey giggled.
"Uh huh. Well you taulk funneh."
"No I don't."
"Yes you do!"
"Do not Auntie!"
"Yes you do child!"
"I DO NOT TALK FUNNY MEEEEHHH!" Matey scampered off before Victoria could do anything, leaving her rather annoyed.
"That child needs a good old fashund spanking." She mumbled and shook her head, walking to the living room. There she found Sunny and Jib, both of which were reading a picture book.
"Hi Auntie." They said at the same time, not looking up.
"Hullo you two...Wot are you reeding?"
"Fuzzy Wuzzy." Sunny replied, turning the page. Victoria crinkled her nose.
"That's rubbish."
"It's a classic Auntie..."
Victoria shook her head. "Hauven't you two ever 'erd of Treasure Plaunet?"
Both nodded. Tillie came in just then.
"Whacha talkin' bout?"
"Auntie was sayin' Fuzzy Wuzzy is rubbish and asked us if we've ever heard of Treasure Planet." Jib flipped another page in the picture book.
"Fuzzy Wuzzy isn't rubbish Auntie!" Tillie exclaimed in shock.
"Absolute rubbish it 'tis." Said Victoria matter-of-factly.
"Well what do you know? You're old!" Tillie said stubbornly, crossing her arms.
"Child I am NOUT ould!"
"YOU SOUND OLD!"
"I DO NOUT!"
"Tillie, Auntie just talks different is all." Sunny said calmly. Victora smiled at him.
"Thaunk you Sunshine."
"Welcome Auntie." Sunny smiled cutely and got up, putting Fuzzy Wuzzy back on the book shelf.
"I'm bored." Jib complained.
"FUZZY WUZZY IS NOT STUPID!" Tillie persisted this topic pointlessly.
Victoria wasn't hearing a thing as there was a small red dot moving on the carpet that absolutly required her attention. She followed it with her eyes and then slapped her pawlike hands with a dull thump on the carpet. The dot still moved. This seemed to frusterate the woman, who got on her hands and knees and slapped at it again. It moved once more, farther away, and jiggled. Victoria narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brow before pouncing, landing right on the dot.
"AH HA!" She grinned widely. Then the dot moved. Again. She let out a catlike yowl of frustration and continued to chase the red dot all over the living room, providing the giggling children with amusement. They wern't tempted for whatever reason. The temptation came and went, but the knew perfectly well who was doing this.
Up at the top of the stairs, conceiled in the shadows, were Kitty Smith and Britt Walker, nieces of Amelia and Victoria. They lived with Amelia since they were orphaned at young ages, both parents killed by pirates at different times. Britt, 2 years older than Kitty, was video taping the hilarious little bit while Kitty controlled the light.
"This is so going on YouTube!" Britt whispered, multicolored eyes twinkling. Based with green and speckled with brown and blue, both cousins had this dashing detail of these odd little eyes. Some sort of disorder neither of them took the time to remember. Kitty's right eye was striking emerald green, while the other started navy blue and turned sky blue mid pupil.
"Oh hell no. Aunt Victoria actually uses that part of the internet." Kitty whispered back, tucking a lock of bright blond hair behind her ear.
"Aunt Victoria uses the internet?" Britt looked at Kitty with a gawking mouth.
"Yeah, believe it or not."
"What the heck would she watch on there..."
"Political disscussions, parinoia theroies, and I saw her watching Charlie the Unicorn."
"Who told her about that?"
"Charlie."
Britt snorted. "So that's why she's been saying "They stole my freaking kidney!" every time he walks in the room."
Kitty raised an eyebrow, "why else would she say that?"
Britt switched Kitty for the light and began making Victoria attack the curtains childishly. "Well we say it every time he comes in the room, and we are pretty awsome."
"So...she'd say it because she wanted in on the awesome?"
"Oh yeah."
"So naive." Kitty tsked and then laughed quietly with Britt as Victoria knocked over a vase, soaking herself. She stopped dead when Victoria didn't chase the light anymore and stood, cursing loudly and setting the vase back on the table with the flowers in it. She then walked towards the stairs.
"Abort mission! Fly, fly, fly, fly!" Britt muttered and zipped down the hallway at lightning speed, looking rather cheetah-like with her brown spots on her ears, ches,t legs and feet. Kitty was right behind her. Both hid in Britt's room and started scheming on what to do to her next.
Victoria, meanwhile, walked to her sister and her husband's room and opened her closet, looking through the clothes.
"No, no, no, no, no, ugly, ugly, disgusting, no, no, no, no- yes!" With a triumphant smile, Victoria pulled out a baggy Disney shirt that she knew for fact Amelia had stolen from her a good month ago. Her sister never bought Disney clothing, while Victoria, though she wouldn't be caught by anyone she knew outside of family in it, had a ton. This one was one of her favorites, a picture of Patch from 102 Dalmations rolling around in the mud and getting dirty. It was cute.
She pulled off her rather soaked shirt after making sure the door was closed and looked at her profile in the mirror, noting she definately had gained some chub from the baby. Still, she slipped the clean shirt over herself, determined to not let anyone know for another week. She couldn't go to work any longer, leaving Amelia as Vice Admiral in charge, but she wasn't going to let them learn why yet. She may have been paranoid, but she doubted her family would be too approving of her and Charlie's child out of wedlock.
One hour later...
"Right hand red." Victoria called from her place on the couch with the Twister spin dial. Kitty, Jib, Sunny and Matey all moved their right hand to red, looking ever more like pretzels.
Britt and Tillie continued to play tic tac toe and watch, as they had been for the last ten minutes.
"This hurts Auntie!" Jib whimpered, her arm bent in a way that was definately not comfortable.
"I'm sorry dear." Victoria spun the dial again. "Right foot green."
As Kitty and Sunny tried to move there feet as if they were being possessed by the Devil, Matey and Jib tried to keep their breathing steady and not fall.
Kitty failed at moving her foot correctly and face planted the floor. "Ow..."
"You're out Katalina." Victoria said, spinning again.
Kitty stood, rubbing her wrists. "When will you call me Kitty?"
"When your birth certificate says Kitty, Katalina. Same goes for you Bridgettah." Victoria stated rather boredly, staring at her nails painted with realistic cheery blossums.
"But I like Britt..."
"I don't care what you like, I'm still calling you by the name your parents gave you."
Britt made a horse-like sound and continued her 44th round of tic tac toe with Tillie while Kitty chewed on her butt length hair and stared at the far wall.
"Left hand blue." Said Victoria. Jib, Matey, and Sunny all moved. She got in "left hand green", "right foot red", "right hand red", "left foot yellow", and "right hand yellow" before all the kids collapsed on top of each other and began fighting over who fell last. Victoria watched for three seconds before standing and picking up Matey and Jib by the scruff, who stopped their fighting abrubtly.
"Sunny was the laust one to fall. I wunt no arguments, no fighting, no yalling, no hitting, biting, or whining. I hear any ou' it, I'll give ye a ass whupping you'll never forgut. Got it?"
Matey and Jib nodded quickly and were placed down on the ground. Their aunt was often strict and no nonesense when she spoke. You'd best listen to her or you will face the punishment.
Sunny smiled at Victoria. She was sweet to him, despite hating his father for being a Canid. She dealt with Delbert, but she loved her Sunshine.
"Auntie?" Tillie looked up from tick tack toe.
"Yes dear?"
"I'm hungry." Tillie's stomach growled loudly as she said this.
"Me too!" Chorused Jib, Sunny and Matey.
Victoria blinked and stood there for a second before remembering Amelia had left dinner in the fridge. "A'right you lot, follow me and I'll get it ready..."
She walked through the house to the large, stark and clean kitchen. The children followed all in a line like ducklings would their mother, Kitty bringing up the rear. Victoria opened the huge fridge and looked it, finding little plates with carrots, rice and...something that made school lunch look delicious. Victoria gagged slightly at the very sight and pulled out the four plates.
"Wot in the bloody...what the hell is this shit?!" She lifted the plastic wrap and sniffed, pulling her head away immediatly and gagged horribly, tossing the plates on the kitchen island and holding to the fridge door before swallowing and slamming it shut.
"It's rice 'n carrots n' bean curd Auntie." Sunny told her, standing up in his chair.
"Bean curd? Wot the f-"
"The F word is a doller in the swear jar Aunt Victoira." Britt warned teasingly.
Victoria glared and said that very word more times than one could count.
"Lets see that's-"
"No charge because I SAID SO!"
Britt blinked, looked at Kitty, and shut her mouth like a smart girl.
Victoria stared at the bean curd and then took the entire platter and opened one of the bottom drawers and shoved it in there.
"Auntie...what are you doing...?" Tillie looked between her siblings, holding her sippy cup with both chubby little hands.
"I'm not feeding you that shit."
"Then what are we gonna eat? Air? We know you can't cook!" Matey said rather dissaprovingly, sounding much like her mother.
"Oh shut up Matey." Victoria brought out her iPhone and began doing some tapping and put it away.
"What did you just do Auntie?" Asked Jib inquisitively.
"The only thing I know 'ow to do with my iPhone dear: order pizza."
"YAY REAL FOOD!" Britt and Kitty cheered and high fived.
"But Mummy told you to give us something healthy..." Said Tillie, looking unsure.
"Well Mummy isn't going to know a daum thung because Auntie is not feeding her nieces and nephew soumthing that looks like it beloungs in school food and sure as heull isn't eating it herself. Got it?"
Tillie blinked and nodded silently.
"Did you get soda too Aunt Victoria?" Kitty looked eagar.
"Yes, Dr. Pepper."
The cousins cheered and high fived again. All four of the small ones just looked at each other.
"We arn't allowed to have soda Auntie..." Said Sunnny quietly.
"Sunny dear, I don't care. It won't kill you."
"But isn't it-"
"But, but, but, but! No more buts you lot, understaund?"
They all looked at each other and nodded. Victoria then excused herself to the bathroom, Kitty and Britt knowing full well she was going to take a hit off her pipe.
"We get pizza and soda in one night...I like Auntie Victoria's baby sitting style." Matey giggled, fiddling with her violet sippy cup with little frolicking lambs on it.
"I like it too." Jib agreed, chewing on the handle of her light green sippy cup with little moons and suns on it.
"I like it but what if Mummy and Papa find out?" Tillie held her pink cup with Bo Peep's on it between her little feet and poked it.
"I don't think they'll find out." Said Sunny matter of factly, his blue smiling star covered cup sitting on the table.
"What makes you say that Sunny?" Tillie wondered, looking at her brother.
"Because Auntie Victoria never gets in trouble for anything." Sunny said this with the up most confidence possible for a four year old boy.
"It's true." Britt agreed.
"Yeah. She gets away with everything. It's like she's the favorite child of some blind sighted father who doesn't see everything she actually does..." Kitty spoke while playing with her tail.
"She might as well be. The king and everyone else turns a blind eye to what she does just because she's rich and deadly." Britt said.
"Or deadly and rich."
Then Kitty and Britt started getting political so the kids continued to amuse themselves with their sippy cups and conversations of Barny. Victoria returned a while later and answered the door to a scrawny boy with a pizza box.
"Uh, is this the Smollett house?" He asked dully, scratching his head around his large horns that curved like a yak's.
"Quite." Victoria took the pizza. "'Ow much?"
"17.50 with the drink ma'am." The boy handed her a large Dr. Pepper, of which she handed to Kitty, who was hounding her for the pizza, which she gave to Britt. The two ran off immediatly and started serving the kids and themselves as Victoria grabbed her purse and dug through it.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" The boy squinted at her.
"No."
"Are you sure? You look kinda familiar. Like I think I seen you on TV or somethin."
"No."
"Uuuuhh can you say anything besides that?"
"Yes."
"Oh...ok..."
"I only have some hundreds in here..."
"I'll take a 83.50 tip..."
Victoria snorted. "You aund ev'ry other deliv'ry boy in tha galuxy. 'Ere. Swipe this card." Victoria handed him one of her credit cards, which the boy swiped in his hand held machine and handed back.
"Pleasure doin' buissness with you ma'am."
"That pleasure is not likewise. Goodbye." Victoria abrubtly closed the door and put the card back in her purse. She walked to the kitchen, finding Britt and Kitty had indeed dished up each kid with a sippy cup of Dr. Pepper and a slice of pizza, had given themselves two, and had even gotten a couple pieces of pizza and a glass of Dr. Pepper for her.
"Oh my, thaunk you girls."
"You're welcome." They said sinonulously around pizza.
Victoria sat down and ate. She tried to not eat faster than she usually did, which was hard since a certain little baby was pretty much screaming "FEED ME MAMA". She talked some with the kids to help this problem. It also distracted them from noticing her taking a sixth slice of pizza.
"I wonder if you put a plant in a plastic bag and wrapped it around your head, if, if you could like...breath under water." Kitty mused aloud with a far off voice.
"Duuudddeee we gotta try that." Britt had the mad scientist look that had made doctors wonder whether she was quite right in the head or not.
"Yeah, soon as the pool opens." Kitty nodded.
"Girls t-"
"Aunt Victoria we are still going to do it no matter what you say, you know that right?" Britt smirked.
"Oh please. I wusn't going to tell you nout to do it."
Kitty and Britt blinked and looked at each other like Chuck Norris had just given them a winning lottery ticket.
"I was simply going to tell you thaut it is best to use a laurge rubber baund...wot? Think I hauven't wondered two? Wull I hauve and I can tell you it does wurk, and rather well might I add."
Kitty got up and hugged her. "You are offically the coolest aunt ever."
"I cannot breath Katalina."
Kitty let go. "Heh, sorry, sorry." She sheepishly sat back down as the house phone rang.
"I'll get it." Victoria wiped her mouth and hands with her napkin and did so, immediatly smiling.
"Hullo Char-leh!" She said cheerfully, turning her back to the kids. She began giggling uncharaceristically, swinging from side to side ever so slightly and blushing deeply. "Char-leh oh...no, no, I-hehehehehehehehe stop it! No, no you are! Hehehehehe!" It was as if they were all being gagged with sugar.
"Eeeww...Aunt Tori take that elsewhere will ya? I wanna eat my food and be able to keep it down." Britt face tabled after saying this. Victoria just rolled her eyes and took the housephone into the next room, shutting the cord in the door.
"They need to get a wureless phune..." Kitty said around a mouth full of pizza.
Britt looked amused and laughed, to which Kitty gave her a blank look.
"Wot Britt?"
"You sound JUST like Aunt Victoria!" She grinned. Kitty swallowed.
"She does sound like she always has her mouth full." She chuckled.
"Auntie sounds like she's got no manners!" Said Matey happily, looking amused. Kitty stuffed her face with more pizza and stood, putting her hands behind her back and standing straight as possible.
"Hullo! I'm Admural Victoria!" She paced as the children giggled, clicking the heels of her boots on the tile floor of the kitchen. "I am apruximately one bullion years ould, wurk, wurk, wurk, aund never hauve any fun. I luve realuty TV and have a huge as- wot are you all staring at?"
Kitty swallowed her food and went to her normal somewhat slouchy posture. Everyone was staring with huge eyes and slowly pointed behind her. Kitty gulped, turned on her heel, and was face to face with a definately unhappy Victoria. In fact her lips were raised in such an atrocious snarl that Kitty started shuddering.
"All ouv you to bed this instaunt. Question and you shall be punished."
She growled so dangerously that the only thing left of the kids were clouds of dust. Victoria punched the wall, putting a hole in it. They KNEW she had issues with her speaking! Her accent was natural and no matter how many classes she took, she couldn't alter it. It was stuck with her and they MOCKED her. MOCKED. It may have been the hormones, but she was beyond pissed.
The pizza was gone, so Victoria ripped the box into impossibly small shreads and tossed it into the recycling. She downed the rest of the Dr. Pepper straight from the bottle and put it out on the back porch. Amelia liked growing plants in them. She then washed all the glasses, took a hit from her pipe, scratched up the underside of the table, and then covered the hole in the wall with a totally inconspicuous My Little Pony poster she'd found in the girls room earlier.
After all this and some more, which acumilated to a small adult temper tantrum, she grabbed the Nutella from Amelia's top cubbord and a spoon and flopped down on the couch. She just spooned the stuff into her mouth, refraining from smacking and staring out the glass door. Maybe she was too hard on them. She did talk rather funny, she knew it. Her sister often mocked her for it. She went through half the jar of Nutella before deciding she had been too hard on them and needed to apologize.
She screwed the lid back onto the Nutella and put it away. She then licked the spoon clean and put it in the sink. Victoria took a swig of milk from the jug, stretched, then walked up the stairs. She found all the kids hanging out in Britt and Kitty's room. They didn't share a room as much that Britt had the main bedroom and Kitty lived in the renovated walk in closet that honestly was rather comfortable. It had a 3D TV and a bed and a number of gaming systems and other such things. All of them were huddled on the bed in the pitch black in piles of blanket watching Phil of the Future.
"Room for won mour?"
All heads turned her way. Victora lowered her ears. "I'm sorry you lot."
Kitty and Britt looked at each other, nodded, and then looked at the little kids. They all seemed to make a silent agreement and moved to the sides, Britt and Kitty doing the same. Victoria smiled and crawled under the blankets with them, soon having a couple toddlers using her legs as headrests and teens using her shoulders as such. They just sat and enjoyed the telivsion for a good while...
Victoria snorted, waking up. She yawned and looked around slowly. She was in Kitty's dark closet room in a pile of blankets. All the children were gone.
She tried to snuggle back into the blankets and fall asleep, but failed. Some time later she made herself rise from the bed, pulling her sweats back up and scratching her butt like some primate. She stretched, listening to her joints pop, and walked out. No one in Britt's room either. She then inspected all the upstairs rooms and found nothing. She etched her eyebrows together and went downstairs. No children.
"Oh, no, no, no, no..." She muttered in several different languages under her breath as she looked under the couch. "This is nout good. No, no nout good at'll." Sighing, she pushed herself to her feet and rubbed her back. Searching the entire house she still found nothing. She looked at the clock. 11:00PM. Amelia and Delbert would be home in an hour.
"Wot are you doing two me you rahscals...dear Lawd wot are they doing..." She looked around and went to the back porch, looking down the hill at her own little home. She owned a monumental amount of land on which she, her sister, and the Arrow family lived. The Arrow's were friends of Amelia's more than Victoria, but nevertheless she let them build a house here. There was a good amount of field, but the rest was forest.
Victoria looked out at the said forest a number of yards from the house. In these woods, connected by stairs or a zipline or a wooden bridge of some such, were treehouses. The connected from Victoria's home to the Arrow's. Victoria only had her 12 year old daughter Minerva, but they still had built one there. One had a treehouse, another a sandbox inside and yet another a wooden slide that went from the house a good 20 feet up to the ground. They were honestly absolutly brilliant for the Arrow and Doppler children, and Minerva enjoyed herself as well.
That's when it sparked in Victoria's mind. The treehouses! Of course they were out there. It was a warm summer night, so she kicked off her froggy slippers and walked through the cool grass to the base tree of the Doppler treehouse. Carved into the tree by Victoria herself was a rather steep staircase that lead to the treehouse through a trapdoor. She climbed this and stopped at the top, putting her ear to the trap door.
"Hey, hey, stop hogging all of em!" Kitty's voice could be heard along with the rustling of plastic.
"You've eaten eight already Kitty!" Tillie's whine was distinct.
Smash, bang, fall.
"SHIT MAN YOU ALMOST BROKE THE PS3!"
"KITTY, KITTY GUESS WHAT!"
"...What Britt?"
"CHICKEN BUTT!"
Audiable face palming.
"Gimme the peanut butter so you'll stop speaking."
"MINE!"
Victoria jumped as she felt the trapdoor hit her ear, along with the sound of a couple of feline girls tusseling and being cheered on by others. She shook her head and then pushed open the trapdoor, immediate gasping following. Kitty stopped dead, sitting on Britt with a jar of peanut butter in hand. Britt stared.
Tillie, Jib and Matey all sat like statues. Jars of Nutella and peanut butter, both opened and un opened, were scattered about the room, along with bags of chocolate chips. On a shelf was a TV and a PS3 teetering off the top of it, which Victoria pointedly corrected. Amid the colorful paper decorations and the rainbow carpet were various kinds of confetti, coloring books, crayons and two jugs of milk. Victoria picked up the jugs and put them in the mini fridge and then turned to the lot of the kids.
"First of aull, why are the lot of you here?" Victoria's tone asked for answer, not excuse.
"We uh, well.." Kitty rolled off of Britt, who sat up.
"I-I-I-I like waffles." Britt stuttered while hugging herself.
"Yes waffles, waffles are very n-nice." Kitty nodded.
"Nice, nice are the waffles."
"So fluffy and warm..."
"And crunchy on the outsides..."
"And good with syrup..."
"I will personally throw ye both out the blasted window if you doun't say something other than gibberish!" Growled Victoria, clenching her fists.
Both cousins looked at each other. Sunny looked at the lot of them, smacking on the peanut butter he'd yet to rid his mouth of. Finally Matey spoke up.
"You were asleep, we got bored...so we got sugar...and came here...and ate it." She shrugged and scooped another spoonful of Nutella into her mouth.
"I don' care if I wos asleep! That is NO excuse to just come out here aund go ape shit!" Victoria threw her hands in the air and kicked one of the empty peanut butter jars.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we just got bored. Things got out of hand..."
"THERE'S CONFETTI EVERYWHERE BRIDGETTAH!" Exclaimed Victoria, gesturing to the treehouse that, quite honestly, looked like a warzone.
Britt stood up. "Oh well!"
Victoria glared. "Clean it up thus instant!"
Britt shrugged and started to do so, along with Tillie and Sunny. Victoria looked at Kitty, Jib and Matey. "I tould you lot to clean up this confetti!"
Matey shook her head. "It's our treehouse! No!"
Victoria put her hands on her hips. "There is confetti on the floor and I told you too clean it up!"
"Well there's confetti on your face but no one tells you to clean it up!" Kitty shouted, immediately regretting it.
Victoria snarled and turned. "WOT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
"NOTHING!"
"YOU ARE LYING!"
"I AM NOT!"
"YES YOU ARE!"
Victoria growled and tackled Kitty, pinning her on her stomach and took her hand and wound up, spanking her. The yowl could have been heard from three miles away in a war shelter. Victoria got up and went to a wall, leaning against it while Kitty slammed her face into the carpet. Britt stood up.
"Aunt Victoria that was un nesscary!"
"I know, you want in?" She held warning in her tone while clenching her fists. Right when Britt was about to speak, a mouse darted out from the corner of the room.
"'OUSE!" Victoria screamed and jumped up, hitting her head on the ceiling and then diving for the mouse, whick squeaked in fear. She chased it around the treehouse on all fours pawing it, clawing the carpet and scattering jars, spoons, chocolate chips and confetti. By the time she caught the little bugger the place looked more like a war zone than before they'd started cleaning it.
"Yeah, yeah just chase the mouse not like we mind." Britt sighed, face palming loudly.
"Choke on the mouse ya old bi-" Kitty stopped when the trap door burst open, Amelia coming up, quickly followed by Delbert.
"VICTORIA CAROLINA SMOLLET BECARD!" She yelled with all the motherly authority possible, making Victoria zip her head over to her, half a mouse hanging out of her mouth.
Delbert observed the scene, looking far from happy. Then he looked to her and blinked.
"Are you...eating...a mouse?"
Victoria blinked and looked down at the mouse hindquarters hanging from her jaws and shook her head.
"Nosddgapnrgdkjfagdsgbaksnd, sapugr. Ghparugnadfkjbng..."
Amelia rubbed her temples and then smacked Victoria upside the head.
"You're a big girl! Swallow your food before you speak!" She smirked slightly before noting the small children and jars of sugary stuff.
"VICTORIA IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING!" She snarled, rage apprent.
Victoria worked the rest of the mouse into her mouth and then slurped up the tail, licking her fingers.
"V-VICTORIA STOP THAT!"
"AW SHUDDUP WOMAN IT WAS A FAT FIELD 'OUSE THEY TASTE GOOD!"
Amelia wound up and slapped Victoria upside the head. "Why did I ever trust you with this lot!"
"Hey, hey we were aull wutching a movie and THEY ran off! I jus' got 'ere!"
Delbert was over lecturing the children, who looked at the ground in shame. A slap fight began between the two sisters, and Kitty and Britt looked at each other and had the sense enough to go around and pick up the jars of peanut butter and Nutella.
"When do you think they'll stop fighting?" Kitty asked casually, sticking her finger into a jar to get the last remains of Nutella.
"Well I don't know about that, and I'm not really wondering about it." Britt said honestly, tossing the jars into the big plastic garbage bag in the corner and jumping to the side as Victoria and Amelia jumped over in a cat fight, literally.
"Oh?" Kitty raised an eyebrow while putting a jug of milk in the mini fridge- only after taking a swig of course.
"Yeah. My only real question is when anybody is gonna notice Uncle Delbert isn't wearing pants.
This is all I could come up with for an ending. XD
Victoria and Britt and some other characters that don't belong to Disney are my great friend TMNTdisneyfan2013's. The Doppler kid's names are actually Disney, but the personalities are hers as well.
I hope you all enjoyed this! :D Review please! :D