Phineas and Ferb

The Talk III

Chapter 1

Fanfiction Summary: In every relationship, regardless of who is involved, one element stands out. One element that cannot be left out when evaluating a relationship: Respect. It comes in different forms and it is created in many different ways. But it must remain a constant.

Disclaimer:Phineas and Ferbdoes not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

Another day in the Tri-State Area was coming to an end. Phineas, Ferb, and their friends were in the backyard, sitting on the ground and just talking. They just finished another exciting adventure and as an added bonus, Phineas & Ferb invited them all over for a sleepover, including the Fireside Girls.

While they were talking, Linda came out of the house to check on the kids. "Hey boys." She said cheerfully.

"Hi Mom!" Phineas waved back to her.

"Just wanted to let you know that dinner will be ready in 5 minutes. Your friends are staying over tonight, right?"

"Yep. Hope we have enough food."

"Oh don't worry about that, Phineas. We have enough food to feed a village." They both shared a laugh as Linda went back inside.

"So Baljeet," Phineas turned to Baljeet. "Anything in particular you want tonight?" Phineas waited for a respons, but Baljeet wasn't paying attention. His attention was still fixated on Linda. "Baljeet?"

He came out of his trance and turned to Phineas. "Oh. Uh, no. I have no preference."

"You sure?" Phineas asked again, Baljeet nodded yes. "OK, suit yourself." Phineas and Ferb walked away after that, leaving Baljeet by himself. He was by himself without anybody around him. He had all the time in the world to conjure up any thought. And yet for whatever reason, the only thought that immediately popped up into his mind was the thought of Phineas and Ferb's mother, Linda. It baffled him. It baffled him greatly.

Ultimately, he decided that the thought would merely fade with time. So, he went inside to prepare himself for the sleepover.

Later that night, everyone had gone to sleep. Linda & Lawrence went to sleep in their bed, Candace was asleep in her room, Perry was asleep on Phineas's bed, and all of the kids were asleep in the living room downstairs. The room was relatively quiet, with the exception of Phineas & Milly snoring loudly next to Isabella & Django respectively. Meanwhile, at one end of the room, Baljeet was by himself, left with his own thoughts.

At one point, Baljeet had decided to use the restroom. So, he went upstairs and found the bathroom. When he was finished, he exited and started to head back downstairs. However, something caught his attention. It was a sound. More specifically, it was the sound of snoring. So, he abandoned his plan and instead he followed the sound. It led him to Linda & Lawrence's room. He stood there for a moment simply listening to the sound. Then, as if by an outside force, he turned the knob slowly and opened the door.

He entered the room, and the first thing he saw was Lawrence lying in bed facing Baljeet's direction. Baljeet was quickly able to deduce that Lawrence was not the one snoring. So, he tip-toed around the bed and went over to Linda's side. Immediately, his eye caught sight of her. She was laying on her side with her eye mask on. Her mouth was wide open with drool coming out of her mouth. As she inhaled, she snored very loudly, her mouth opening much wider, letting out even more drool.

Baljeet did and said nothing for a few moments. He simply stared at the snoring woman a mere few feet in front of him. And the snoring was only getting louder. He took one step closer to the bed. Linda didn't even budge. She simply continued snoring. He took another step closer. Still, she snored. Another step. Still snoring. On the last step, he was at the edge of the bed. He could not get any closer. And still she snored in front of him.

Slowly, Baljeet began to reach his hand out towards her face. Eventually, his hand touched her cheek. Only then was there a reaction. Linda snorted several times in succession but never actually woke up. Instead, when she was done, she went right back to snoring, even louder than before, still letting out drool. Baljeet quickly pulled his hand back, concerned she would wake up and become suspicious. But she didn't.

Baljeet was filled with such an adrenaline rush. He was no longer thinking rationally. He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Immediately, he began taking pictures of Linda snoring away & drooling all over her pillow. After he took a couple dozen, he put his phone away, and then slowly began to lift the blankets off of her body.

He slowly climbed into the bed right next to her. He slithered down the bed so he was position at around her waist. He turned his back to her so he could avoid touching her at all costs. Of course, that would end up proving costly anyway. Well, by his definition anyway.

Mere moments after Baljeet closed his eyes, Linda began to stir. She snorted a couple of times, and then turned onto her other side so that her butt was facing Baljeet's head. Her large curved waist made her butt look very, very big, and had Baljeet noticed it before going to sleep, he would've fallen even more head over heels. Thankfully, he had his dreams to help him out.

(Cue Baljeet's Dream)

Linda and Baljeet were sitting in the park on a picnic blanket. They were enjoying a nice lunch together.

"This is nice." Linda remarked.

"I concur. A picnic out in the park, where we have only the two of us out here to accompany each other." Baljeet agreed. "I am greatly enjoying this."

"I'm sure you are."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I've noticed you've grown very fond of me, Baljeet."

Baljeet suddenly shot up. "F-Fond? W-What is it that you mean?"

"You have a crush on me."

"N-No I do not! Just because I am enjoying this picnic with you does not conclude that I have romantic feelings for you!"

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"So you're saying you don't have a crush on me."

"That is correct."

"Well, I disagree. In fact, I think you've fallen head over heels for me."

Baljeet began to sweat. "T-That is preposterous! You are 3 times my age!"

"You don't believe me?"

"N-N-No! No!"

"Well, there's only one way to find out."

"H-How?" He asked her.

Linda slowly leaned in and whispered into his ear. "Turn around."

(End Baljeet's Dream)

And with that, Baljeet awakened and immediately turned around to face the direction of Linda. Immediately, his vision caught the eye of Linda's butt, which was facing him after she turned to face the other direction. Linda was still snoring very loudly, completely oblivious to what was going on.

Baljeet simply stared at Linda's big rear end for what seemed like a long time. He found himself completely infatuated with what he was seeing. Then, seemingly without any control over his own actions, he slowly put his hand out towards her, and then placed his hand on one of her butt cheeks. He then proceeded to squeeze the butt cheek. After he squeezed it, Linda immediately snorted, then went back to snoring. But this time the snoring was much, much louder than before. Baljeet took notice of this.

He took out his cellphone and snapped several pictures, including pictures of her butt, pictures of his hand on her butt, and pictures of his hand squeezing her butt. Every time he squeezed her butt, she snored much louder. Baljeet could not for the life of him stop himself from doing it. And after a while passed, he didn't want to stop himself from doing it. Yet he couldn't explain it.

Eventually, however, he grew tired and wanted to settle down for some sleep. So he cozied up as close to Linda as he could get, wrapped his right arm around her waist, leaned his head up against her butt cheeks, closed his eyes, and fell asleep, allowing the soothing sound of her thunderous snoring to lull him to sleep.

As the night progressed, Linda tossed and turned in her sleep. Sometimes she would end up on her side, sometimes she would end up on her stomach. No matter how much she tossed and turned, Baljeet didn't let go. When she finally did stop tossing and turning, she ended up sleeping the remainder of the night on her stomach, which meant her butt was facing the ceiling. Baljeet, though, took comfort in this, and as such, he began using her butt as his pillow, and it turned out to be more amazing than he could ever imagine.

The following morning, Baljeet woke up from his slumber in a wonderful mood. As he opened his eyes and lifted his head, the first thing he saw was the sight of Linda's rear end right in front of him. Linda was still on her stomach, snoring extremely loudly now entrenched in her own sleep drool. Baljeet checked his phone and saw that it was twenty minutes to seven. He assumed that none of his friends were awake yet, and theorized that he had enough time to get back downstairs before anybody noticed his absence.

So, he snapped a couple of more pictures of her rear end with his phone, then snapped some more pictures of her snoring face before finally putting his phone away. He then climbed out of her bed and slowly crept out of the room and back downstairs, making sure there was nobody out in the hallway who would see him and become suspicious.

He went downstairs to discover that all of his friends were still in their rightful places, with the snoring of Phineas & Milly still filling the air. Baljeet quietly crept over to his spot and rested there, waiting anxiously for Linda to awaken & determine if she had any idea what had occurred the night before. But as time passed, and the hour of 7 came, she didn't show. In fact, between Linda, Lawrence, and Candace, Candace was the first to return downstairs.

Time continued passing. His friends all awakened and began preparing breakfast. Meanwhile, Baljeet spent most of his free time looking through his phone at the many pictures of Linda he took the night before. In fact, Linda & Lawrence didn't come down until it was close to 9. She & Lawrence yawned as they sat down at the table. "Good morning, kids." Linda said cheerfully.

"Morning, Mom!" Phineas said as optimistically as he could.

"How was your sleepover?"

"Great! How did you guys sleep?"

"It was great. In fact, I can't figure out what it is, but last night was probably the best sleep I've gotten in a long time." Linda sounded sincere relaying this fact, something that struck Baljeet hard.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I can't for the life of me figure out what it is."

Baljeet suddenly how mixed feelings bottle up within him. For fear of uttering something he would later regret, he quickly left the kitchen and went upstairs in order to have a moment to himself. As soon as he reached the bathroom, he began hyperventilating.

"What in the world have I done!?" He said to himself, careful not to say it too loudly to attract attention. "I have violated that woman's privacy. I have committed the ultimate sin and have disgraced my family's name!" He slowly calmed himself down, and with a clearer head, began talking again. "And yet...last night...was magical. For me too, it was the greatest night of rest I have ever experienced. There is a part of me that realizes that my actions could have severe consequences if I am caught. But there is another part of me that is saying I want more. I want more of what I got last night." He began to rub his hands together maniacally. "And I will stop at nothing to get it...!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Hello?" It was Lawrence on the other side.

"Occupied."

"Oh, so sorry."

End of Chapter 1.

A/N: OK, first of all, I want to get this out of the way. Like my previous "The Talk" installments, if you don't want to read it, you don't have to. I will not tolerate flames in the reviews section. Secondly, I got the inspiration for this story after reading another LindaxBaljeet fanfic entitled "A Nice Dose of Crack" written by AgentGoldfish, rated M. Thirdly, this was an idea I've had for a while now, and it was one of those where I just needed to start writing and get it out of my head or it would drive me insane. So hopefully you enjoy it, but like Dan & Swampy do with the show, I wrote this one mainly for me.