Rating: G
Disclaimer: Nobody's mine
Prompt: Five lies that were never told
First fic for the fandom. I didn't intend to write on Doctor Who at first, since I've other projects going on, but I stumbled on this prompt and it was so screaming "Doctor!" in my head that I wrote.
Five lies that were never told
The Doctor has been around for long, roaming into time and space as if he owns it. And since the beginning, he has been nothing but a liar, accumulating a fortune of lies and half-truths like the credits in his spare accounts.
Above all lies, he can pinpoint the firsts, the ones he never spoke aloud, but believed so much in it, he actually convinced himself it was the truth.
I'll stop one day and return home, when I'll grow tired of the universe.
His run began then, never to stop. He couldn't even stop if he wants to, because he has seen himself that home would never be there again. Not only one time, but twice.
A home that is a lie in itself. Gallifrey isn't home anymore since he has put a feet into his TARDIS, his trusted and mercurial companion, made to walk the universe, ignorant of time and space.
A universe he never seems to be able to despise even if he's becoming old, seen its birth and end, and all the things in between.
He can feel their invisible weight on him, the wonder and excitement as well the burden of loss and violence. He remembers everything, his brilliant Time Lord brain will not let him forget, for he can perceive everything that was, is or could happen. Every possibility.
Knowing that he makes the best decisions he can feels bitter when the price of victory is too high; knowing that the consequences were he doesn't pay the price are much worse isn't enough to bring him solace.
Time Lord Victorious, the Doctor thinks, as he hears the sharp shot of a gun and his mind fills with image of a fixed point in time he has altered just a little bit, but not changed.
As he returns to his Old Girl, he hates every steps that leads him to the console, where once again, he's speaking aloud, waiting for banter that won't come.
The TARDIS sings in his mind, but he longs for a companion of flesh and words, a bit stupid–but that's because his recents mat– friends are humans–but warm, and witty and so so brilliant.
And he can't travel with them anymore. Its better for him and them, if he's alone. Even if it's the biggest lie of all, he will stick to it hard.
Maybe, maybe, it's better that way. It will grow easier with time. He might end up believing in that lie and might not need a companion ever again.
Until, as a new man, he crosses the path of Amelia Pond. And he knows he's the biggest fool of all. But it feels wonderful, and for once, he wants to keep this little truth he found at the eye of a black hole made of lives of countless lies.