Hey guys, I just came to inform you that (because a lot of you guys suggested it) I'm moving this story to fictionpress. Keep in mind though that the names will change. It's the basic plot, but obviously it'll be more mature and several elements have changed. As I have ranted on about numerous times, I was really really unhappy with the way that this story turned out that I couldn't even finish it. So, I'm hoping that by starting out fresh with high quality chapters that I'll be able to finish the entire story, not worrying about fixing the tidbit mistakes that I had scattered throughout. Does that make sense?
My pen name on that site will remain maximumrain3 so that it'll be easier for you guys to find me. The title of my story will stay undisclosed until I officially publish it on fictionpress sometime this week (most likely Friday night), but it won't be "Welcoming the Heartache" anymore. Honestly, I think I started this story when I was way too young, but thanks to you guys, I've matured in my writing (hopefully) and now have a better sense of my "style".
To thank you guys, I'd like to give you a bit of a snippet of the new (but old) story. Enjoy and any feedback would be great! I hope to see you on fictionpress to support me if you can! Here's your snippet :
"I refuse to share a room with himfor the next year!"
The rounded man working at the admissions office shrunk under the intense gaze of the college student. He struggled to make eye contact, as his eyes would often shift from her angry face to the calm one of the person that stood next to her. In all his years working at that office, he had never encountered any situations like this one. "Ms. Blake, we are sorry for this inconvenience, but there just aren't any more available rooms. Your dorm rent will be held accountable by the school as well as any other necessities that you may need. Again, we are very sorry."
"Tell me again how I even got assigned to a male roommate when I am clearly of the female gender," she seethed with her eyes narrowed.
A flushed pink hue came about the elder man's face before saying, "Your name, Ms. Blake, is traditionally one given to the opposite gender. We had assumed, wrongly on our part, that you were another one of Mr. Blake's fine sons."
The other male in the room smirked, only sparking further annoyance in the girl.
"What would Mr. Blake think of a school that assigned a female into an all boy's dorm, along with a male roommate, solely based off of her first name?"
Her anger rolled off of her in waves and her last remark created a contrast of sentiments in the room. While one man appeared utterly terrified of her discreet threat, the other raised an eyebrow dubiously. "I really don't see the problem," the younger man spoke impatiently.
His words caused a shift in the air and, similar to an exorcist movie, the girl's head snapped in the direction of her peer. Her chocolate-brown eyes flashed dangerously as she looked into his amused green ones. "Obviously there is a problem when there's a differentiation in genitalia," she said blatantly.
"I clearly recall you having no complaints about sharing a cabin with the opposite gender in camp," was the quick retort.
"The boys in my cabin were my brothers! Plus, I was twelve."
With a shake of his finger, the boy admonished jokingly, "But there was still that 'differentiation in genitalia'."
"They were my brothers," she reiterated, only this time she was on the verge of yelling.
"Max, Max, Max, everyone knows you were – are – a tomboy. Is it really too difficult for you and me to be bunk buddies? Besides, it's not like you haven't seen everythingalready. It'll be just like old times."
Needless to say, his comment got them ousted from the room and Max was left to survive her new roommate – at least for the night.
On their way back to their dorm, Nate couldn't help the grin when he saw the terseness in Max's walk from the corner of his eye. He could tell that get getting kicked out of the room was not part of her plan when she went in to complain about their 'situation' this morning. In all honesty, he didn't think it would be a problem at all. He had no intentions of touching her and possibly getting his arm torn from its socket. Nate Hill knew Max Blake well enough to even try anything like that.
But that wouldn't refrain him from making crude remarks - ones that would send his roommate lunging at his throat.
"You do know that for them to switch you out we would have to have sex, right?" he said to her one day.
Max's eyes narrowed incredulously, her face scrunching in disgust. That was before she stood up, raised her glass above his head, and doused him with cold milk. She smirked in satisfaction and got about 3 feet away before being tackled to the ground. Her slender frame was no match for his muscular one, especially since he was almost a foot taller than her. She made useless attempts at smacking him upside the head, but his large hands held both of her wrists in place above her head mercilessly. Just the sight of her beneath him sent a fury of jolts up his spine; he wanted so badly to just bury his face in her neck and inhale her scent of lavender vanilla soap. If it were any other girl he would have.
Nate Hill was not only what one would call 'attractive', but he was also a player. He was so notorious for having a different relationship every week that his friends called his beaus "Nate's flavor of the week". He didn't do relationships that lasted longer than that. There was something peculiar about his tendencies, though. Albeit having a new girlfriend each week, he usually managed to keep a platonic relationship with his exes. This was because when he was with them, Nate made sure to treat them right. And rule number one to his game was that he never cheated. He was a walking, talking paradox.
Of course, this only caused an inflation of his ego. In high school, he often found himself in the girl's locker room, having a make-out session with whoever was his girlfriend at that time and, scrawled on the wall in pink Sharpie was his name . . . with words and phrases like, "sex god", "to kill for", and his personal favorite, "felt like a 12-incher", scribbled around it. He thought it was absurd because he knew that he was only nine and a half inches. Not that he or the girls were complaining.
"Nate, I swear if you don't get off me right now, I'll fucking castrate you in your sleep!" shrieked the woman beneath him, breaking him out of his reverie about his glory days.
Sooo . . .what'd you think? Good, bad, stupid? Can you sense the tension ;) It's the basic plot of this one, but I've changed a lot of the major components. There will be no "Grace" and the sappy background stories. Trust me, if you liked "Welcoming the Heartache" you'll like my new story. I've got a lot more tricks up my sleeve. No filler, all killer! :D
Umm, the names aren't exactly solid. I don't really know about "Nate", but I think I'm keeping Max's name Max. So again, thank you guys for all the support. Any feedback on what I've given would be great! Ideas would be appreciated and your support would be loved!
For those of you with fictionpress accounts, please try and read it on Friday when I post it! And for those of you without one, hopefully this story will make you consider getting one ;)
See you around,
Sam aka maximumrain3