Story: mr. torgue's MOTHERF*CKING excellent adventure

By: trixielicous

And helped with the help of:

lord Michael Blackburn

A/N: this story was made in a group at midnight. It's not bad for such a feat. This story is typed mostly by tirxielicous or however he spells it. too tired to spell it right. I fear this story may be removed as mr. torgue speaks in all caps MOST OF THE MOTHERF*CKING TIME.

Hopefully isn't as stupid as they used to be.

Chapter 1: MOTHERF*CKING SEE YA!

Mr. torgue woke up from his nap; he had slept for 42 hours straight after a bacon flavored beer cookie float he got from his space truck's glove box. God knows how long it was there. He snapped straight up; he hadn't done something badass in about 30 minutes or less. It was time to change that as he began yelling at his laptop:

"HI I'M . SO PONIES? THAT'S *BEEPING* AWESOME. MORE AWESOME THAN MY
MOTHER*BEEP*ING SPACE THE *BEEP* AM I BEEPING!? I WILL TAKE THIS CENSORING SYSTEM, RIP OFF IT'S HEAD, AND *BEEP* DOWN ITS ANYWAYS I WROTE THE BEST BEEPING FANFIC EVAR. YOU KNOW WHAT BEEP THOUGH!? I'M GONNA BECOME A PONY
THROUGH THE POWER OF TESTOSTERONE AND NEWu BECAUSE *BEEP* YOU THAT'S WHY.

WHY THE *BEEP*? AM I BEEING BEEPED? THIS IS SOME WEAK *BEEPING* SHIT.

He smashed his modem and found things to be substanuly better as he began to cuss out his laptop yet again in a crazed voice.

SO I GOT INOT THIS MOTHERF*CKING WORLD CALLED EQUESTRIA, RIGHT? SO I WAS FLIPPING F*CKING SHIT THAT IT WAS ALL TECHICOLOR AND SHIT. IT WAS BADASS! SO F*CKING BADASS I RENAMED THE PLANET MR' TORGUE'S BADASS LAND OF MOTHERF*CKING PONIES!

SO I FOUND THIS F***ING PINK PONY AND SHE WAS SPAZTIC ALL TO S**T. SHE TRIED
TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME, BUT THAT WAS SO UN-TESTOSTERONE. BUT ANYWAYS SHE ASKED ME TO DELIVER THIS MOTHERF**KING CAKE TO THESE P*SSIES CALLED THE CAKES. SO I GOT IN MY BACON FUELED MONSTER TRUCK AND CRASHED INTO THE SIDE OF THEIR F**KING SHOP. AND
HOLY FU**KING HORSE SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME.

I DELIVERED THEIR F**KING CAKE, BUT I DECIDED IT NEEDED MORE EXPLOSIONS. AND AFTER I
GOT DONE WITH MY ROCKET LAUNCHER GUITAR SOLO, I ELIMINATED A WHOLE F**KING CITY
I TESTOSTERONED INTO THE SKY AND MET THIS F**KING RAINOW DUDE. I DECIDED
THAT RAINBOW DUDE WASN'T RADICAL ENOUGH, SO I LOADED THAT BI**H INTO MY
LAUNCHER AND MADE TECHNICOLOR EXPLOSIONS. YOU SHOULD HAVE THE TEARS ON THIS
F**KING ORANGE CHICKEN.

SO THEN I GOT HUNGRY AND PUNTED A RABBIT WHICH MADE IT EXPLODE. I TOOK THE F**KING
CHARRED REMAINS AND MAKE IT INTO A SANDWICH. THEN THIS MOTHERF**KING YELLOW
THING IS CRYING, SO I OFFERED SOME OF MY RABBIT WOULDN'T CHEW SO I
F**KING FORCED IT DOWN HER THROAT. SHE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TESTOSTERONE AND
EXPLODED! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE F**K WAS HAPPENING, BUT MAN THAT EXPLOSION
WAS COOL!

BUY TORGUE NOW!

SO THEN I RIPPED SO OWL'S HEAD OFF, MADE HIM INTO A PAIR OF BOOTS, AND ATE THE REST OF THAT B*TCH…WELL I THINK I GOT FOOD POISONING OR GOT TOO EXCITED, 'CAUSE I JUST STARTED SH*TING EVERYWHERE. THEN THE PURE TESTOSTERONE OF MY SH*T MADE THIS FU**ING PURPLE HAIRED B*TCH I TRIED THAT F**KING CPR BULLS*IT, BUT SHE COULDN'T HANDLE THE GIRTH OF MY ROCKET THERE'S UNICORN BITS EVERYWHERE.

IT'S JUST A BIG F**KING BADASS MESS.

AT THIS POINT ALL THE PONIES ARE RUNNING AWAY LIKE F**KING P*SSIES. EXCEPT
FOR THIS ORANGE SCOOTER TALKING B*TCH. THEN SHE DOES SOME STUPID FU**ING SH*T
AND CHALLENGES ME TO AN APPLE EATING CONTEST. WELL MR. TORGUE'S STOMACH AIN'T
WHAT IT USED TO BE, SO I STARTED TO VOMIT. BUT YEARS AGO I HAD ZED MAKE IT WHERE ALL
MY WASTE WAS TRANSFORMED INTO EXPLOSIONS WENT OFF EVERYWHERE
BLOWING UP THAT STUPID F**KING GAY REDNECK BREWERY.

BY THIS TIME I GOTTA TAKE A S*IT AGAIN, SO I GO TO THIS TREE AND FIND A DRAGON
ATTACKING A SWEET DEFENSELESS HORSEY WITH AN ICE-CREAM CONE STUCK TO ITS HEAD. SO
I PULL OUT MY ROCKET LAUNCHER GUITAR AND MAKE A RIFF
(BOWAWOWNANANANANANANAWAHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) SO F**KING SWEET IT
BLOWS AWAY HALF OF THE LIBRARY. THEN I GOT ON THE LITTLE HORSEY AND SAID "TAKE ME
TO YOUR LEADER."

SO I GOT TELEPORTED TO THIS AWESOMELY WICKED SKY CASTLE, AND IT WAS F**KING
AWESOME, BUT WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER WITH MONSTER TRUCKS. POOR HORSEY WAS DEAD
SO I HONORED HER MEMORY BY STRAPPING 2,000 ROMAN CANDLE TO THE SMALL OWL EVEN THOUGH ITS NOW A PAIR OF F*CKING BOOTS. I
FOUND AT THE LIBRARY WHILE CHANTING TESTOSTERONE. THE FIREWORKS WERE
MOTHERF**KING BAD*SS,THEN THIS WHITE B*TCH CAME UP AND SAID "WHY ARE YOU
ATTACKING MY SUBJECTS?"

TO ANSWER HER I PULLED OFF MY CLOTHES AND REMOTE DETONATED MY TEN
MEGATON THEN CREATED A BAD*SS CRATER OF BAD*SSITUDE LAUNCHING ME INTO
AS I WATCHED THE COUNTRYSIDE GO UP IN A F**KING MUSHROOM CLOUD, I
CRASHED INTO THE SIDE OF A SPACESHIP.

I HAVE NO F*CKING IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON, AND WHY IS A DOUCHEBAG IN N7 ARMOR LOOKING AT ME!?

(TO BE CONTINUED)

(EXPLOSSSSSSSION!)(S)

A/N:

You: what the fuck did I just read?!

Me: a story written by mr. torgue. This is the first story my friend trixe wrote, but he asked me to post it. I helped with the wrting and shit torgue would say. He typed it. I also made some revisons to it.

Each chapter, mr. torgue will visit a new universe and flip shit. Sounds good, right?