I thought I had it all. A home, a successful business and the girl of my dreams, then she turned up at our door and my world changed.
The life that I had, was shattered in a matter of moments. The love of my life had lied to me for 7 long years. She hid her deepest secret from me and the world. And I have forgiven her. I surprised even myself but I couldn't look at her and not have my heart ache for the pain she had suffered all these years. I thought she was happy, when it was just me and her, and she assures she had never been happier in her life, but since her daughter made her surprise appearance, I don't think I have seen Brooke truly happier. Part of it saddens me that it is not me that brings the look of joy to her face, but those thoughts are fleeting, because her beautiful smile melts my heart every time.
She questioned my commitment to her and her child. Could I understand? Could I love the child like my own? How could I not. She was a mini-Brooke. I love every part of Brooke Davis, and her daughter is a part of her. As far as I am concerned she is now my daughter too. That little girl may look like Brooke on the outside but every time I look at her I see a part of myself. A little girl given up by her mother. Adopted into a loving family, but that illusion later shattered. I've lost two mothers, she's lost two parents. I know the heart ache she is feeling, and I know the love that she needs, and I intend to give her that fully.
The first time she called Brooke mum, my heart flipped with pure joy for Brooke. I saw all the barriers coming crashing down. I witnessed a moment of pure love. Two estranged people finally opened up and confessed their love, and let them both express it. Brooke had been scared for weeks that her daughter would never fully love her, or allow her to be the affectionate caring mother she was so desperate to be.
Brooke grew up wanting nothing more than her mother to love her, to hug her, or just acknowledge her with some form of affection. When we were young Brooke always told me that when she was a mum she would hug her child every day and tell her how much she loved her.
That opportunity was stolen from her. She went teary eyed to her mother and confessed her predicament. It had happened at some party, the first she attended with the senior crew, which at 15 was quiet an accomplishment and cemented her popularity at High School. As one would predict there was lots of drink. She had no idea who spiked her drink but when she awoke half dressed in that bedroom alone, she knew something wrong had taken place. She pushed the incident to the back of her mind until two months later when she noticed she was really late. She kept on her bright smiling cheerleader façade, thinking that if she ignored it, it would all disappear. She was Brooke Davis, and she was not pregnant.
Of course she knew she couldn't keep it hidden for long, and out of an act of pure desperation she turned to Victoria, looking for motherly advice and support. The result was that she was shipped away to have the child in secret. I remember the look on Brooke's face when she told me she had to leave for a few months with her parents on a business trip. Maybe if I hadn't be so wrapped up in Nathan and trying to kid myself that I could be the girl that was happy, I would have seen the signs. If I hadn't been so self absorbed back then, maybe this could have all been so different.
Brooke has told me not to blame myself. She wanted to tell me but her parents put her under too much pressure. They wanted her to terminate the pregnancy. It was only through much persuasion that she convinced them to let her go to term, as long as she agreed to put the baby up for adoption.
In a non-descript town in Connecticut, when I thought Brooke was sunning herself on some Malibu beach, she cried alone as her baby daughter was taken away from her. Victoria was with her, but her role was only to ensure that the doctor and nurses did their job. Brooke barely saw her child's face before she was taken out of the room. She would not see her little girl for another 7 years.
I saw a change in Brooke when she came home after that summer. She was wilder than I remembered. She threw herself into the party scene, craved all sorts of attention. I called her boy crazy. Now I know she was just desperate to feel something, anything other than the gapping hole in her heart.
I'd be lying if I said things were anything but uncomfortable when her little girl appeared. I'd been lied to, the history I thought we had was all a sham. She had told me she had always loved me, and fought the urge every day to tell me about her child. How could that have been the case though…how can you love someone and lie to them.
Flashback
"You said you always loved me Brooke! You said I was the only one, but now I find you have had some secret love child for all these years." I screamed "Who is he Brooke, who's her father?"
"Peyton it was a mistake, I don't know who he is. Please listen to me. I love you. You're the only person I have ever truly loved. If it wasn't for you I don't think I could ever had continued and led a normal life."
"Brooke we were both young and we both slept with people that maybe we shouldn't have but you had a child with someone"
"No I didn't Peyton, I was drugged and I was raped. Do you know how difficult it was to stand there in front of Victoria and Bill, and be told that I was a little tramp, and how I must have teased the guy? They wouldn't even let me go to the police to report the incident because they didn't want the scandal."
She fell to the floor, a broken and shattered shell, seven years of pain poured out of her, and my stupid jealousy had cause this breakdown. Holding her tightly in my arms I murmured apologies over and over, as I lay soft gentle kissing her face, trying in vain to take away the pain.
"Peyton I was wrong to not tell you about her, but Victoria…you know how she is"
"I know sweetie…I know"
"I never lied about loving you Pey. It was always you, even then it was always you. That's why I called her Elizabeth…after you Peyton"