TITLE: Hard Truths

PAIRING: none

WARNING: don't read it if you adore Huddy or Cuddy or this new, unrecognizable Greg House, and a few profanities, but nothing too big.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show House, M.D. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is a more realistic look on the whole Cuddy-trying-for-a-kid situation, more realistic reaction by House and real-life facts TPTB ignored when they were gripped by the Huddy-craze that then pulled behind all the other Lemmings, of whom most joined the show after S4. Personally, I can't wait for the Huddy arc to run out, cause it made House into an even bigger soul-less bastard than he already was. As for Huddy... the past is the past, they didn't work once, they will never work, face the truth finally. Oh yeah, and if anyone starts throwing the word "chauvinist" or "misogynist" around cause I'm not an adoring fan of Cuddy and of this new House then they're a complete lame-ass because most of the people I hate/don't like are men aka males (at least 95 percent of the list) and I don't attack nor hate women in general, only specific persons for which I have good solid reasons that are not gender-based. In the case of this show I don't like (but don't hate) Cuddy who is only one of only two women on the show I don't like (the other being Stacy), while I don't like more than 8 men on this show (some of whom I hate while others just intensely dislike): Chase the self-absorbed rapist, Foreman, Kutner, Taub, Wilson (because of his cheating), Tritter (whom I'd like to see die on the show very slowly and painfully), the P.I., Vogler,... hell, even House sometimes.

The next thing you should also consider is the fact that House is rude, abrasive, insolent, insulting, brash, and a jerk of massive proportions.

So, if you still accuse me of chauvinism, then you are only gonna end up looking small-minded. I know I'm practically inviting flames with this fic, that was inspired by the current flood of this atrocity called Huddy in the first place and thus is not Huddy-friendly, but if you flame then at least state WHY you don't like it, don't get personal (you don't know me personally, don't know who I am, so you also don't have the right nor the basis for a personal attack) and write a signed review. Anonymous flames will be deleted, cause if you're already flaming, then at least have the honor to do it openly and with your real account and name.

This fic is also AU in other ways, House did what he should've done on the show and fired Chase after the Vogler thing and never took him back and the whole out-of-character "arrangement" Cameron proposed to her own rapist never happened.

SUMMARY: House hears of Cuddy's plans for having a baby. Reaction fic to this new direction that destroyed the show. Not-Huddy-friendly. You've been warned.

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The door opened furiously, banging against the wall, making the occupant jump in her seat. The crippled doctor stepped inside, stopping in his tracks.

"Sorry, I thought this was the Dean's office, didn't know it was turned into a working girl's place of work." retreating from the room he stopped and turned back "Btw., how much do you charge? In case I know anyone who has an older-women-fetish, so I can give him your number."

"What do you want now, House?" snarled the female.

House's eyes bulged in disbelief. "Cuddles!? I thought you were a hooker, considering how you're dressed." he glanced at her blouse that was barely holding in her artificially-enhanced bosom "I mean, only the girls of the night dress like that, no-one else. And especially not a Dean of Medicine who is supposed to be a professional and dress accordingly. What if a potential benefactor comes visit the hospital and sees you like this? You prowling the hospital dressed like a hooker would make an impression you're preying on unsuspecting doctors and visitors, to drag them into exam rooms and rape them there..."

Even though he was right Cuddy still believed she was in the right and ignored House.

"Why are you here?" she ignored his words.

Seeing he wasn't getting anywhere he plopped down into a seat. "Heard you're trying to have a parasite."

"A what?" she blinked at him.

He waved vaguely with his hand "You know, one of those smelly, loud things that destroy your figure and body chemistry, cost you tons of money only to talk back and crash your car 16 years later."

"Oh." recognition dawned "Yes?" she asked cautiously "What about it?"

For a second he looked like he was trying to search the best way to put it, but then settled for the tried and true. "ARE YOU STUPID!!!???"

The explosion of sound threw her back into the seat "Why should I be stupid, Dr House? And may I remind you I'm still your boss, so show me some respect."

House snorted "How DID you get to be the boss without a medical license, anyway? Do you even have it? Well, it would explain why you went AGAINST MY EXPRESS WISHES and cut all muscles out of my THIGH while I was in a coma."

"What do you mean without a medical license?" she yelled at him.

"I mean: if you had any medical knowledge you would know you can't have a kid naturally anymore. You're ANCIENT, Cuddy! You had your chance for 20 years to have it with complications and you waited. Well, guess what? You waited too long. You're over 45, for crying out loud! Has the silicone in your boobs and lips fried your brain!? You want the little money-sucker to have Down's Syndrome or Metabolic Disorders or Neural Tube Defects or any other genetic defects?"

"Um..." she stuttered to a halt, as the truth of House's words impacted into her.

"That's right... 'um'. The only other option is to adopt a kid, but lets be serious, which judge or CPS employee in their right mind would give YOU a kid."

"And why not!?" she went on defence.

House snorted rudely "Lets see: you have absolutely no experience with kids and you're too old," he straightened one finger, extending it from his fist "you're single" a second finger "you're never home" another finger "you live for your job" another finger "your last vacation was decades ago" another finger "you know nothing about kids" another finger and this time his eyebrows rose "you're not a mother material, you're as far from what a mother should be, namely warm and loving, as you can be. The only mother figure you could ever fit is the Mother Prior at a monastery-run orphanage or a Convent. You know, the strict, cold, loveless disciplinarian type."

Seeing he had silenced her he concluded "The whole plan is stupid, as stupid as Chase was when he thought I wouldn't fire the little bastard for running to Poppa Vogler and betraying me. And, yet, I still fired him" he smiled with satisfaction. He'd always hated because he hadn't gotten the job because of any medical expertise, but because his Daddy had pulled strings and gone over House's head to get a job for his little boy. Spoiled rich kids were always the type of people, next to idiots, that House despised the most.

Rising, he offered one last advice "My advice: if you really want kids, then start living for your job less, start going home at normal hours or even go home in the first place, and then find yourself a widower or a divorcee with kids or a guy to marry and adopt kids together with him. Cause there's no other way you'll have kids."

"Toodles." he said, waving and left Cuddy's office, leaving her with a lot to think about.

THE END