It troubled Anders how much he wanted him. He had seen him in the jail cell, threatening his Commander's life. He had seen the bodies he had left behind in his need for revenge.
But from the moment Anders saw Nathaniel Howe, he was inexplicitly drawn to him.
He felt his gaze on him as they walked with the others. The man had yet to say a word to him, but Anders felt the invitation, the heat in the man's look. Nathaniel wanted him. Anders had spent enough time in the Tower to know that look. This was a man who knew exactly what he wanted, but would not take what was not freely given.
That comforted much Anders much more than it should have. The man was angry, violent, and yet...yet Anders could easily imagine his hands on his body, his lips against his.
It was not a conscious choice when he found himself outside of Nathaniel's door, his hand hesitating before knocking.
Nathaniel opened the door, eyebrow raised slightly.
Anders felt embarrassed suddenly and said, "Sorry, I meant to knock on-"
"You should be more honest about what you want," Nathaniel commented dryly, "It is not healthy for a man to hide his desires. Come in."
Anders followed him, standing awkwardly by the door as Nathaniel poured them both a drink. He handed the goblet to Anders who drank quickly. Nathaniel sat down by the fire, beckoning him to sit on the floor beside him. Anders did so, waiting hesitantly for Nathaniel to speak.
"You speak often of your affairs in the Tower," Nathaniel said, "I know you enjoy sex and care not where you find it. I admit, I desire you, but there are things we must discuss first. I am not my father, but I am not a kind man. There are things that I enjoy that many do not. But if you ask me to stop, I will stop. When you are with me, I expect you to submit to me. You will have no other lovers while you are with me. Do you understand?"
"What sorts of things?" Anders asked, his heart racing.
"I believe that pain increases pleasure," Nathaniel said, taking Anders' chin in his hands, "I believe that a man can find true gratification when he is in his proper role. I enjoy hurting my partners. I enjoy taking them to their limits. Because I can, because I...enjoy having control over another, but only one that consents to what I do. I am not a cruel man."
Anders flushed, turning away from him.
"What say you, mage? Does my offer interest you?"
Anders was ashamed to say it did. He felt Nathaniel's fingers lower, coming around the sides of his neck. To his shame, he felt aroused by this, knowing how he needed only to squeeze to take the life from him. He wanted his hands around his throat.
Nathaniel's eyes met his and Anders whispered, "Yes."
"Are you sure?" Nathaniel said, his voice softening as he leaned in.
Anders caught his breath as their lips brushed against each other.
He murmured again, "Maker, yes."
Anders expected Nathaniel to kiss him, but instead, he grabbed his throat, pulling them both to their feet. Anders' first instinct was to struggle, but he breathed, watching Nathaniel's face. He trusted him.
"Get on the bed," Nathaniel instructed, "Leave your clothes on the floor."
Anders did as he asked, lying down on the bed while Nathaniel moved, taking off his shirt and shoes. He undid his belt but kept his pants on.
"On your stomach," Nathaniel said.
Anders did so, his heart pounding in his throat. He flinched as he felt the belt brush against him.
Nathaniel leaned into his ear and whispered, "Say the word, mage, and I will stop."
Anders said nothing as Nathaniel left his side. He yelped in surprise at the first blow across his ass, adjusting as the second followed.
"Do you still want me?" Nathaniel asked, the third breaking his skin.
Anders cried out, "Yes."
Nathaniel hit him again and again until Anders started to cry. Nathaniel flipped him onto his back, his raw skin brushing against the sheets. To his surprise, Nathaniel kissed him, taking off his pants as he pressed his body against his. Anders cupped his face, pulling him into the embrace.
Nathaniel pulled away, reaching for the top drawer of his bedside table. He pulled out a vial of oil, coating his cock with it, groaning as he touched himself. Anders stared at him hungrily, his breath shaky with want.
"On your knees," Nathaniel growled.
Anders did so, his hands gripping into the sheets as Nathaniel pushed roughly into him. He relaxed his body, his skin aching at the touch. Nathaniel thrust into him and he groaned.
"Did you enjoy that, pet?" Nathaniel chuckled.
Anders realized how hard he had become, how swollen his cock was. He wanted so much for Nathaniel to touch him, but he knew was almost incapable of speech. He just wanted more. He needed more.
When Nathaniel's fingers stroked his neck, he only could meekly whisper, "Yes."
Nathaniel thrust harder, his fingers wrapping around his neck. Anders moaned, gripping into the sheets harder as he tried to breath.
"I've wanted you for so long," Nathaniel groaned, "The minute I saw that pretty skin of yours. I thought of everything I could do to it. I thought of what you would look like under me, what it would look like when I made you came. I ached for you. I wanted to tear you apart."
Anders cried out, Nathaniel's hand closing harder while the other reached down between Anders' legs. He held his cock still, his body still slamming into his.
"You're a sick little shit, you know," Nathaniel chuckled, "Look at you. You're getting off on this. I bet that wasn't enough for you. I bet you want it to hurt more. What do you need, mage?"
Anders whispered, "Keep talking to me. Keep touching me."
"You liked being called a little shit, didn't you? What a filthy little whore you are. Here I was just waiting for you. I should have just taken you in the courtyard. I should have shown them all. This whore of a man is mine. I would have had you before them all and you would have begged me not to stop. You would have pleaded with me until I finally came inside of you."
Anders shuddered under his touch, Nathaniel's hand letting go of his throat, stroking the side of his face with odd tenderness.
"I'm yours," Anders confessed, "Please...please..."
Nathaniel pushed deeper inside of him and Anders felt his knees go weak, falling further to the bed. Nathaniel's body sheltered his, his raw skin beating against his. Finally, his hand moved.
Anders cried out, his body shaking as it moved with his, Nathaniel's arm across his chest as he held him upright to him.
"Come for me, Anders," Nathaniel ordered, pumping hard as he thrust, "Come for me, now."
Anders fell apart at his touch, his orgasm hard and sudden, and he found himself crying as he spurted out into the bed. Nathaniel withdrew from him and Anders mewed, too weak to protest as Nathaniel finished himself off by hand with a satisfied groan.
Nathaniel laughed darkly, "Are you expecting a cuddle now? Get out of here."
"When can I see you again?" Anders pleaded, tears still streaming down his face.
Nathaniel returned to his side, cupping his chin in his hand again. Anders leaned in, hoping for another kiss, but instead Nathaniel merely whispered, "Tomorrow night. Go get some sleep, my pet. You'll need your rest."