Title: The Trouble with Xander (1 of 3)
Author: Jeffrey Patrick
Type: Not a shipper story... yet. Just plain old action.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a Polaroid of the Taco Bell dog and some lederhosen. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the folks at the WB own Buffy and related characters.
Feedback: Yes, please.
*************************************************************************************
Buffy was in trouble. Whatever the creature was that was attacking her, it was strong. It had a body like a lion's, but it's head was more wolf-like. It had her shoulders pinned to the ground, as it breathed its foul breath in her face.
"You know, "she said, getting her legs under it and kicking hard. "You could use a tic-tac." The creature landed hard against the trunk of a tree. The tree shook violently, knocking leaves and two members of the Scooby Gang loose. Buffy would have laughed if they hadn't landed so close to the wounded beast. Xander landed on his back. Willow landed on top of him.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked Xander.
"Ung... Will be... once... elbow... removed from ribcage."
"Oh. Sorry."
"You two get away from that thing!" Buffy yelled. It was far too late. The beast pounced. Xander managed to shove Willow clear of the demons jaws, but they found his forearm and clamped down tight. The razor sharp fangs sliced through flesh. Xander cried out in pain. The bone snapped in the creature's mouth.
Buffy covered the distance between them in less than a second. She jumped on top of the creature and tried to stake it, but the hide was too tough. She could see blood leaking from the monster's mouth and she felt sick knowing it was Xander's. She felt completely helpless until she saw Spike running her way with a battle axe.
"Spike... Throw it!"
The vampire launched the axe in a high arc. It spun and until it came down blade first in the creature's skull. There was the sickening sound of torn flesh and cleaved bone just before the creature howled in pain. As soon as it did, Xander was free. Willow tried to move him from the scene of battle, but was having a difficult time. Thankfully, Spike lent a hand.
Buffy was thrown from the creature's back, but managed to dislodge the axe before she fell. She came at it relentlessly, and within minutes, the creature was dead.
"That was quite the nasty bugger," Spike said, as she joined the others. "Don't think I've ever seen one before. Would have taken Droopy's arm off if I hadn't intervened."
Buffy ignored him and went straight to Xander. "How is it?"
"Oh," he moaned, through gritted teeth. "On a scale of one to ten? About a 3... thousand."
"He's losing blood," Willow said. "We need to get him to the emergency room."
"Then let's roll. I'll get him out of the park and near the main entrance. Will, you find a phone and call an ambulance."
"On it," Willow said, making a run for a payphone she had seen on the other side of a crop of trees.
"Spike, go with her," Buffy instructed. "I don't like her being out here alone. If anything happens to her, I'll have your head."
"Fine," Spike said, taking off after her.
Buffy inspected Xander's arm. "Looks bad."
"Really?" Xander said sarcastically, wincing with pain. "Because it feels great."
"C'mon," she said, putting his good arm around her shoulder. "Lean on me in case you faint."
"What was that thing?" Xander asked with a sudden shiver.
"I have no idea. We'll put Giles to work on it after we get you fixed up."
"You think there are more of them?"
"I hope not. Those suckers are mean."
"Tell me ab... out i...t...."
"Xander?" Buffy took all of his weight. He had passed out. His arm was still pouring blood. She swung him over her shoulder and began running for the entrance. "Hold on, Xander. Just hold on."
Xander woke up in the hospital. Willow was in a chair at the foot of his bed, sleeping soundly. Buffy was to his left, reading a magazine. "Buff?"
"Hey there, sleepy head." She stood up and took his hand. "How do you feel?"
"I used to use my hands. But that right arm isn't feeling so great." She smiled at him. "Where's Anya?" He asked.
"She's here. She ran down to the cafeteria for coffee. We were all worried about you. You've been out for three days."
"Three days? Oh my God! My job..."
"Is fine. Anya called and told them you were mugged in the park and had your arm all sliced up."
"Okay. And who calmed her down long enough to make that happen?"
"Well, Will and I figured it would help if she could focus on something."
"Thanks."
Willow stirred and then looked up at them. "Hmmm.... Awake?" She mumbled.
"Two of us are," Xander said, smiling at her.
"Sorry. I just couldn't stay awake any longer."
"She hasn't left your side since we brought you here," Buffy said.
"Neither has she," Willow added.
"Wow. You guys must have been really worried about me."
"Are you kidding?" Buffy asked. "You're a founding Scooby and our best friend. You didn't wake up for three days because of some infection in your bloodstream. Of course we were worried."
"And bonus... You seem to have developed quite the reputation, because your room is always full of women," Willow added.
"Cool," he said, closing his eyes. "Guys, I'm feeling a bit tired. Could I rest another minute before Anya gets back."
"Sure," Willow said, tucking him in. "We'll wait for Anya outside."
"You okay?" Buffy asked. "Do we need to get the doctor?"
"No. I think he'll notice I'm conscious when he comes in. Just send Anya in when she gets back."
"It's a deal."
A week later, everything seemed back to normal. Xander had a cast on his arm, but the doctors had given him a clean bill of health. Buffy and the rest of the gang had found a few more victims that matched the one they had found they night they were attacked in the park. She and Giles assumed that there was another of those creatures about, and were researching to see if they could determine exactly what they were dealing with. Xander happened to be in the Magic Box when they found their answers.
"Oh, Good Lord!"
"He always says that," Buffy mumbled. "And I never like it."
"It's a Cendar'esh. A wolf-like demon minion of the Jen'tar race of demi-gods," Giles said. "They are very powerful. "
"No kidding?" Xander quipped. "I would never have guessed after it bit through my arm like a Scooby snack."
"Do they run in packs?" Buffy asked.
"Not typically," Giles answered. "They are usually only two or three. And..."
"Yes, Suspense Guy?" Xander questioned.
"Well, from your description of the creature, it would seem you faced... Well, a baby."
"A baby?" Buffy was obviously shocked. "That thing was huge. How big is the mother?"
Giles turned the book around to show them the picture. It was a gatefold. He unfolded it three times. Xander and Buffy just stared with their mouths hanging open. Xander was the first to speak.
"Okay. I'll go break my lease and pick you guys up around 9-ish to catch a freight train outta this berg."
"We cannot run from this," Giles protested.
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "Because, for once, Xander's plan seems to be the sensible one."
"That, in and of itself, is more frightening than the Cendar'esh."
"Hey!" Xander said.
"So what do we do?" Buffy asked. "I mean, how do you kill THAT?"
"Yes, well, therein lies our problem."
"Problem?" Xander asked. "That's my least favorite word, and you use it all the time."
"Sorry."
"Gang, let's focus here." Buffy looked back at the picture and frowned grimly. "What exactly is the problem, aside from the obvious 'I'm a hundred feet tall and you're not' issue?"
"Well, apparently, an adult Cendar'esh can only be killed by a Jin'tesh."
"The new age music guy?" Xander asked.
"Not John Tesh," Buffy corrected. Then, to Giles. "What is a Jin'tesh?"
"A Jin'tesh is one infected with the Cendar'esh's blood."
"I know I'm gonna hate myself for asking this," Xander said. "But exactly how does one get infected."
"Er, um... Through a bite usually."
Buffy turned to Xander. "Can you ever stay out of trouble?"
"Hey! I climbed the friggin' tree trying to stay out of it's way. YOU'RE the one that threw him into the trunk and shook us out."
"Only AFTER you insisted on coming with me."
"Could you two stop for a moment?" Giles asked. "We'll figure something out. I'm moderately certain."
"Great," Xander said. "That's just...."
"Great going, Xander." Anya was pacing the floor. "Glory's been laying low. Vamp activity is down. You just had to find trouble didn't you?"
Xander walked across his apartment and put his arms around her. "It'll be fine. The plan is to track the thing first. While Giles is doing that, Buffy and I are going to come up with a fool proof plan to get me close enough to kill the thing without getting myself killed."
"We could leave town."
"Yeah. Strangely, they didn't go for that plan."
"Who cares? We can leave tonight. Just you and me and the open road."
"With a hundred foot tall monster tracking us and no Buffy in sight? Thanks, but no thanks."
"Well, what are you going to do?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"What?"
"I don't want you to stay here. If I know you're in danger, I'm likely to do something stupid..er."
"Well, I'm not gonna leave you to fight this thing alone."
"I.. uh,.. I won't be alone."
"So the gang gets to stay, but I can't?"
"No. The gang isn't staying."
"Then, who's gonna.... No. No way!"
"An, it's just for a few nights."
"No. You stay at her place with her mother and sister."
"That's precisely why I CAN'T stay there."
"I don't like it. I HATE it."
"Hey," he said, kissing her tenderly. "I'm YOUR guy. You have nothing to worry about from Buffy or anyone else. I just need to kill this thing so you can come back and stay. Believe me. I don't want to be away from you, but I can't let you get hurt. I need to know you're safe."
"And you promise there is nothing going on with you and Buffy?"
"I swear. Now Willow and Tara said you could go with them. They're headed out tonight to visit a friend in L.A."
"Okay. But if I you get killed while I'm gone, I'm never talking to you again."
"Fine. Just.."
"What?"
"Come back to me."
"I'm not sure I understand this." Buffy grabbed some popcorn.
"Okay. One more time. Joey and Dawson are soul mates. Pacey and Dawson were best friends."
"But now Pacey and Joey are getting it on?"
"Yep."
"And Dawson is okay with that?"
"No. But what should he do? I mean, he can't change anything," Xander said flatly.
"Sure he can. If they are soul mates, he should be able to get her back."
"Untrue."
"What do you mean? How is that untrue?"
"Because I happen to know for a fact that you can love someone and be as close as you can be without being lovers and still not get the girl."
"I disagree," she said, throwing a handful of popcorn in his face. "When someone loves you, I mean truly, painfully loves you, a girl's gonna know. And then, how could she not love him too?"
"It happens," he said flatly. "Now you're all caught up on the fabulous lineup of the WB."
"You didn't tell me about my Tuesday night shows."
"That's because I can't make heads or tails of them. I think the writers have too many irons on the fire."
"Fine. Spoiled Sport."
"Now that we got THAT out of the way, what's the plan for the Cendar'esh?"
"We patrol in daylight. Try to spot tracks. Giles is trying to get a fix on it based on where the bodies were found."
"Well, I hope he hurries. This whole deal is making me nervous. I just wish the thing would show itself, so we could..."
Before he could finish his thought, a giant paw crashed through the window nearest he and Buffy and pulled him out into the night air. Suddenly, he was nearly a hundred feet in the air, and all he could see was the glowing red eyes of his captor.
To Be Continued....
Author: Jeffrey Patrick
Type: Not a shipper story... yet. Just plain old action.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a Polaroid of the Taco Bell dog and some lederhosen. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and the folks at the WB own Buffy and related characters.
Feedback: Yes, please.
*************************************************************************************
Buffy was in trouble. Whatever the creature was that was attacking her, it was strong. It had a body like a lion's, but it's head was more wolf-like. It had her shoulders pinned to the ground, as it breathed its foul breath in her face.
"You know, "she said, getting her legs under it and kicking hard. "You could use a tic-tac." The creature landed hard against the trunk of a tree. The tree shook violently, knocking leaves and two members of the Scooby Gang loose. Buffy would have laughed if they hadn't landed so close to the wounded beast. Xander landed on his back. Willow landed on top of him.
"Are you okay?" Willow asked Xander.
"Ung... Will be... once... elbow... removed from ribcage."
"Oh. Sorry."
"You two get away from that thing!" Buffy yelled. It was far too late. The beast pounced. Xander managed to shove Willow clear of the demons jaws, but they found his forearm and clamped down tight. The razor sharp fangs sliced through flesh. Xander cried out in pain. The bone snapped in the creature's mouth.
Buffy covered the distance between them in less than a second. She jumped on top of the creature and tried to stake it, but the hide was too tough. She could see blood leaking from the monster's mouth and she felt sick knowing it was Xander's. She felt completely helpless until she saw Spike running her way with a battle axe.
"Spike... Throw it!"
The vampire launched the axe in a high arc. It spun and until it came down blade first in the creature's skull. There was the sickening sound of torn flesh and cleaved bone just before the creature howled in pain. As soon as it did, Xander was free. Willow tried to move him from the scene of battle, but was having a difficult time. Thankfully, Spike lent a hand.
Buffy was thrown from the creature's back, but managed to dislodge the axe before she fell. She came at it relentlessly, and within minutes, the creature was dead.
"That was quite the nasty bugger," Spike said, as she joined the others. "Don't think I've ever seen one before. Would have taken Droopy's arm off if I hadn't intervened."
Buffy ignored him and went straight to Xander. "How is it?"
"Oh," he moaned, through gritted teeth. "On a scale of one to ten? About a 3... thousand."
"He's losing blood," Willow said. "We need to get him to the emergency room."
"Then let's roll. I'll get him out of the park and near the main entrance. Will, you find a phone and call an ambulance."
"On it," Willow said, making a run for a payphone she had seen on the other side of a crop of trees.
"Spike, go with her," Buffy instructed. "I don't like her being out here alone. If anything happens to her, I'll have your head."
"Fine," Spike said, taking off after her.
Buffy inspected Xander's arm. "Looks bad."
"Really?" Xander said sarcastically, wincing with pain. "Because it feels great."
"C'mon," she said, putting his good arm around her shoulder. "Lean on me in case you faint."
"What was that thing?" Xander asked with a sudden shiver.
"I have no idea. We'll put Giles to work on it after we get you fixed up."
"You think there are more of them?"
"I hope not. Those suckers are mean."
"Tell me ab... out i...t...."
"Xander?" Buffy took all of his weight. He had passed out. His arm was still pouring blood. She swung him over her shoulder and began running for the entrance. "Hold on, Xander. Just hold on."
Xander woke up in the hospital. Willow was in a chair at the foot of his bed, sleeping soundly. Buffy was to his left, reading a magazine. "Buff?"
"Hey there, sleepy head." She stood up and took his hand. "How do you feel?"
"I used to use my hands. But that right arm isn't feeling so great." She smiled at him. "Where's Anya?" He asked.
"She's here. She ran down to the cafeteria for coffee. We were all worried about you. You've been out for three days."
"Three days? Oh my God! My job..."
"Is fine. Anya called and told them you were mugged in the park and had your arm all sliced up."
"Okay. And who calmed her down long enough to make that happen?"
"Well, Will and I figured it would help if she could focus on something."
"Thanks."
Willow stirred and then looked up at them. "Hmmm.... Awake?" She mumbled.
"Two of us are," Xander said, smiling at her.
"Sorry. I just couldn't stay awake any longer."
"She hasn't left your side since we brought you here," Buffy said.
"Neither has she," Willow added.
"Wow. You guys must have been really worried about me."
"Are you kidding?" Buffy asked. "You're a founding Scooby and our best friend. You didn't wake up for three days because of some infection in your bloodstream. Of course we were worried."
"And bonus... You seem to have developed quite the reputation, because your room is always full of women," Willow added.
"Cool," he said, closing his eyes. "Guys, I'm feeling a bit tired. Could I rest another minute before Anya gets back."
"Sure," Willow said, tucking him in. "We'll wait for Anya outside."
"You okay?" Buffy asked. "Do we need to get the doctor?"
"No. I think he'll notice I'm conscious when he comes in. Just send Anya in when she gets back."
"It's a deal."
A week later, everything seemed back to normal. Xander had a cast on his arm, but the doctors had given him a clean bill of health. Buffy and the rest of the gang had found a few more victims that matched the one they had found they night they were attacked in the park. She and Giles assumed that there was another of those creatures about, and were researching to see if they could determine exactly what they were dealing with. Xander happened to be in the Magic Box when they found their answers.
"Oh, Good Lord!"
"He always says that," Buffy mumbled. "And I never like it."
"It's a Cendar'esh. A wolf-like demon minion of the Jen'tar race of demi-gods," Giles said. "They are very powerful. "
"No kidding?" Xander quipped. "I would never have guessed after it bit through my arm like a Scooby snack."
"Do they run in packs?" Buffy asked.
"Not typically," Giles answered. "They are usually only two or three. And..."
"Yes, Suspense Guy?" Xander questioned.
"Well, from your description of the creature, it would seem you faced... Well, a baby."
"A baby?" Buffy was obviously shocked. "That thing was huge. How big is the mother?"
Giles turned the book around to show them the picture. It was a gatefold. He unfolded it three times. Xander and Buffy just stared with their mouths hanging open. Xander was the first to speak.
"Okay. I'll go break my lease and pick you guys up around 9-ish to catch a freight train outta this berg."
"We cannot run from this," Giles protested.
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "Because, for once, Xander's plan seems to be the sensible one."
"That, in and of itself, is more frightening than the Cendar'esh."
"Hey!" Xander said.
"So what do we do?" Buffy asked. "I mean, how do you kill THAT?"
"Yes, well, therein lies our problem."
"Problem?" Xander asked. "That's my least favorite word, and you use it all the time."
"Sorry."
"Gang, let's focus here." Buffy looked back at the picture and frowned grimly. "What exactly is the problem, aside from the obvious 'I'm a hundred feet tall and you're not' issue?"
"Well, apparently, an adult Cendar'esh can only be killed by a Jin'tesh."
"The new age music guy?" Xander asked.
"Not John Tesh," Buffy corrected. Then, to Giles. "What is a Jin'tesh?"
"A Jin'tesh is one infected with the Cendar'esh's blood."
"I know I'm gonna hate myself for asking this," Xander said. "But exactly how does one get infected."
"Er, um... Through a bite usually."
Buffy turned to Xander. "Can you ever stay out of trouble?"
"Hey! I climbed the friggin' tree trying to stay out of it's way. YOU'RE the one that threw him into the trunk and shook us out."
"Only AFTER you insisted on coming with me."
"Could you two stop for a moment?" Giles asked. "We'll figure something out. I'm moderately certain."
"Great," Xander said. "That's just...."
"Great going, Xander." Anya was pacing the floor. "Glory's been laying low. Vamp activity is down. You just had to find trouble didn't you?"
Xander walked across his apartment and put his arms around her. "It'll be fine. The plan is to track the thing first. While Giles is doing that, Buffy and I are going to come up with a fool proof plan to get me close enough to kill the thing without getting myself killed."
"We could leave town."
"Yeah. Strangely, they didn't go for that plan."
"Who cares? We can leave tonight. Just you and me and the open road."
"With a hundred foot tall monster tracking us and no Buffy in sight? Thanks, but no thanks."
"Well, what are you going to do?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
"What?"
"I don't want you to stay here. If I know you're in danger, I'm likely to do something stupid..er."
"Well, I'm not gonna leave you to fight this thing alone."
"I.. uh,.. I won't be alone."
"So the gang gets to stay, but I can't?"
"No. The gang isn't staying."
"Then, who's gonna.... No. No way!"
"An, it's just for a few nights."
"No. You stay at her place with her mother and sister."
"That's precisely why I CAN'T stay there."
"I don't like it. I HATE it."
"Hey," he said, kissing her tenderly. "I'm YOUR guy. You have nothing to worry about from Buffy or anyone else. I just need to kill this thing so you can come back and stay. Believe me. I don't want to be away from you, but I can't let you get hurt. I need to know you're safe."
"And you promise there is nothing going on with you and Buffy?"
"I swear. Now Willow and Tara said you could go with them. They're headed out tonight to visit a friend in L.A."
"Okay. But if I you get killed while I'm gone, I'm never talking to you again."
"Fine. Just.."
"What?"
"Come back to me."
"I'm not sure I understand this." Buffy grabbed some popcorn.
"Okay. One more time. Joey and Dawson are soul mates. Pacey and Dawson were best friends."
"But now Pacey and Joey are getting it on?"
"Yep."
"And Dawson is okay with that?"
"No. But what should he do? I mean, he can't change anything," Xander said flatly.
"Sure he can. If they are soul mates, he should be able to get her back."
"Untrue."
"What do you mean? How is that untrue?"
"Because I happen to know for a fact that you can love someone and be as close as you can be without being lovers and still not get the girl."
"I disagree," she said, throwing a handful of popcorn in his face. "When someone loves you, I mean truly, painfully loves you, a girl's gonna know. And then, how could she not love him too?"
"It happens," he said flatly. "Now you're all caught up on the fabulous lineup of the WB."
"You didn't tell me about my Tuesday night shows."
"That's because I can't make heads or tails of them. I think the writers have too many irons on the fire."
"Fine. Spoiled Sport."
"Now that we got THAT out of the way, what's the plan for the Cendar'esh?"
"We patrol in daylight. Try to spot tracks. Giles is trying to get a fix on it based on where the bodies were found."
"Well, I hope he hurries. This whole deal is making me nervous. I just wish the thing would show itself, so we could..."
Before he could finish his thought, a giant paw crashed through the window nearest he and Buffy and pulled him out into the night air. Suddenly, he was nearly a hundred feet in the air, and all he could see was the glowing red eyes of his captor.
To Be Continued....