I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. I dare you to move, I dare you to move..like today never happened. Today never happened before.
"Your flight leaves in two hours." my mother was saying, her scowl permanent on her faded tanned face, and her perfect yet thin lips pulling down at the corners. This expression was an almost constant these days, especially when directed me as it was right now. Then again I wasn't paying her a bit of attention-focusing instead on pulling the cream colored throw pillow over my eyes and groaning through my headache. "And you'll need your passport, your two bags..remember the other ones are being shipped to Washington in a few da- Analee are you even listening to me?" Trinka demanded as she finally looked me in the eye.
"Yes, passport..clothes. The same things you've been telling me for about a week straight." I grumble in a cross but low tone, my milky brown eyes closing and focusing on my happy place. Right now it was not La Push, Washington where I was being sentenced back too. My smart remark earned me a sharp glare from mom but I was past caring by this point, all I wanted to focus on was getting rid of the insane headache that was plaguing me. Not that it wasn't my fault that I felt terrible, because it was. I could have stayed in the night before, instead of going out to the Triangle-a small place downtown that had three different clubs-with friends. I could have watched movies or finished packing instead of getting wasted to forget having to move back to the one place I was running from. But, I didn't and now I was feeling the after effects of a very long and sleepless night while my mother bustled around like a general about to go to war. It would have been disquieting had she not been that way for at least two months after finding a bottle of valium and marijuana laying in my closet, not to mention the bottles of Vodka stashed in the closet. Excuses were useless when you were caught red-handed and even though the first three times I had swore to change, it had yet to happen and had earned me a one-way ticket back to the tiny Indian reservation where I had grown up.
Everything about La Push was terrible to me, which was strange because until my Freshman year I had loved living there and had often made it known that I never wanted to leave. In fact, coming to Arizona where my mother lived was a chore for me, one that usually involved me kicking and screaming up until I boarded my flight. But now, I would give anything to stay here and waste away. Going back to La Push was like taking a nightmare and making it reality and every time my mind dwelled over the fact that I would live there again, the memories started to flash back. His hands on my waist, in my hair.. Stop. Finally, I sat up and shook my head, my curly hair falling limply around my shoulders and around my eyes. My mother was still chattering away and my sister, Evelyn, sat in the corner watching me carefully and with those concerned eyes she had been wearing since I showed up a year before. She had known before anyone else that I was a trainwreck but had never said anything, well, until my mom found the evidence. I thought about being nicer to her every once in awhile, but we had never been that close anyway and it was nice to blame someone else for a while.
Standing up, I felt uneasy and the tears were pricking at my eyes anyway. It took two minutes for me to be out the door with the keys to my car that Dad had drove all this way from La Push. Dad, he had really thought Arizona would help. Which wasn't unconceivable, I mean I had spent all summer after trying to convince him and with the way I had been back then it probably wasn't hard to be convinced. His breath on my neck. And I was going back there in less than an hour and a half with no way to stop it. But just because I would be forced on the plane didn't mean I had to be in the right frame of mind for it. No, I could go and be quite obliterated. I had practice pretending to be sober-how did anyone expect me to manage school? And suddenly, I wasn't headed towards the car anymore. I was headed down the street to Rae's, determined to get out of my mind wasted and keep my demons at bay.