Note: Couple days late for a birthday fic, I know - but in my defense I had zero intention of writing one, but was hit with an idea today at work and typed most of this out on my phone on break. So here it is. It has a slight link to my other fic Every Time - which was about Sam's 12th bday, it's not a significant connection though so don't worry about it. Let me know what you think!
"He's not coming home today, is he?"
Dean's jaw clenched at the mumbled question that came from the child hunched over his bowl of Lucky Charms at the small kitchen table.
"I don't know, Sam." He answered honestly with a sigh as he dropped down in the chair across from his little brother, freshly brewed coffee in hand.
"He didn't say anything when he called?" The younger boy questioned, glancing up hopefully at the teenager through his curtain of brown bangs.
Dean frowned, shaking his head, "We just talked about the case he's working on." He stated – which was mostly true. John had called three days earlier and they had discussed the hunt, what he didn't have any intention of mentioning to the youngest Winchester was that their father had also requested – or rather, ordered – that Dean join him in the hunt. Dean had said no without so much as a second of hesitation, something he rarely said to John, and while his dad hadn't taken that too well, the teenager had been vehement in his refusal. He had promised Sam he could finish out the remainder of the school year at his new school, and there was no way in hell Dean was going all the way to fucking Arizona and leaving his little brother in New Jersey alone, which he would never do, but especially not on the kid's thirteenth birthday.
No.
Dean hated leaving Sam alone at all, but sometimes the hunting life called for it – and sometimes the family business forced Dean to choose between keeping the person who mattered most with him at all times, or leaving him behind in a safer location. Even still, Dean only ever left the kid when it was absolutely necessary and he sure as shit didn't go across the goddamn country. He had to be close enough to get to Sam if he needed him. Arizona was too far. And he knew there was no chance the hunt would be finished in time for his little brother's birthday – no matter what John said. So it wasn't happening.
Dean wasn't leaving his kid all alone ten states away.
And there was no way in hell he was leaving Sammy to be on his own for his birthday.
"I don't think Dad's gonna be back, not in time for today anyways." Dean admitted softly, not wanting this day to be anything like Sam's last birthday where the kid spent the entire damn day staring out the window waiting for their father to show up like the man had promised he would.
Sam nodded, his eyes falling back down to his cereal as he took another bite.
Dean had really been hoping to avoid the topic of their father – something he had managed to do since this morning. He should have known better. Both Winchester boys were used to days, weeks, and even months without John's presence – but on special occasions such as birthdays and holidays, they often found themselves hoping for their dad's arrival – as naïve as that might be. At the very least John had finally stopped making promises he wasn't able to keep – something Dean had demanded of his father last year on Sam's twelfth birthday. The man did more damage claiming he would be around and then not showing up than he did when he didn't bother communicating his travel plans at all and just stayed gone. Heaven forbid the man just be honest and fucking tell his sons when he wasn't going to show up. Dean had learned not to expect John to arrive on any of those special days and simply be pleasantly surprised when the hunter was able to come around. Sam had learned years ago not to depend on their dad to appear, but he was still a kid and Dean could always see the little bit of hope that would appear in those hazel eyes on those special occasions – like today, Sammy's thirteenth birthday.
"So what do you want to do today, kiddo?"
Sam shrugged, methodically chewing another mouthful of cereal as though he were eating branflakes instead of his favourite marshmallow filled breakfast food – something Dean made sure to stock up on for this particular morning.
"We could do whatever you want. Go to the movies, go to the arcade, get pizza and ice-cream, whatever you want to do, little man." Dean declared, before taking another sip of coffee.
"We don't have to spend money. We can just hang around. I don't care." Sam responded, aimlessly stirring his cereal.
"Stop playing with your food. Eat it, dude." Dean admonished, nudging Sam's boney knee with his foot.
"M'not really hungry." Sam mumbled into his bowl.
"C'mon man. You've had like four bites." The kid was skinny enough as it was.
Sam released a put-upon sigh, sounding every bit like the teenager he had just become, as he dutifully ate another spoonful of his meal.
"Now, back to your birthday festivities –
"Dean, we honestly don't need to do anything."
"Yeah we do. This is a big birthday, man, you're thirteen!" Dean exclaimed, pouring excitement into his tone, hoping that it would be at least a little bit contagious.
He was rewarded with a smirk, which was the most positive reaction he had managed to coax out of the kid all morning.
"It's just another year. You don't have to make a big deal about it."
"I don't have to do shit, Sam, but you're turning thirteen so I'm definitely going to be making a big-ass deal about it."
Dean nearly cheered at the impossibly appearance of one of his little brother's infamous dimples, the sight of it not minimized in the slightest by the exasperated headshake.
"We could go bowling – doesn't have to just be us, you could invite some friends from school—
The suggestion was cut off by a derisive snort.
"No one would come." The young boy muttered, pushing away from the table and taking his half-empty bowl over to the motel's kitchenette.
Dean frowned, his eyes tracking his kid brother's shuffled movements. "What are you talking about? You having problems at school?" The elder teen asked, his protective instinct surging and making his hands clench.
Sam turned back around after placing his dish in the sink and rolled his eyes. "No, Dean, no one is giving me any trouble. It's not like that." He dismissed.
"Then what's it like?" Dean inquired not yet pacified enough to stand down.
"I'm the new weird kid who is too quiet and too nerdy and is behind on half the subjects and ahead on half the others; I'm the kid with the bruises who looks like he got in a fight with a fucking cheese-grater – that's what it is like." Sam snapped.
Dean winced. His gaze instinctively tracking to the shredded skin on Sam's chin, forehead, and cheekbone. The cuts were all small, but they were clumped and made it look like the young teen had a bad case of road rash – which wasn't far off from reality. The last hunt had been a bitch all three Winchester had been left bruised and limping – but of course the youngest had gotten the worst of it– something that pissed Dean off to no end. He was supposed to protect the kid, but Sammy had still been hurt - he pretty much had his face ground into the concrete. It had looked far worse two weeks ago after it had happened, but evidence of the altercation was still far too visible.
"You don't have any friends?" Dean asked softly, not wanting to insinuate any level of expectation in the inquiry, because his little brother had always had a difficult time making friends – something that Dean had never been able to understand. Sam was smart and kind and funny, he'd do anything for anybody, he had a heart of fucking gold, but somehow at every school he was the target of asshat bullies and spent most of his school days on his own. Dean hated being at separate schools, it made it so damn hard to look out for his kid – ensure he wasn't being picked on and make certain he at least talked to one person or didn't spend every lunch sitting on his own – the thought alone making Dean feel helpless in a way that he hated, causing him to clench his jaw painfully hard.
"Nah. Not really." Sam sighed, his defensive anger having diminished and been replaced with a wary resignation – which Dean hated all the more.
"Why did you want to stay so badly?" He queried, recalling the fight Sam had put up when John had tried to move them to Arizona barely two weeks after their arrival.
"Because there's only like a month left of school and I need to keep my grades up – if I have to switch schools again before the end of the year, I'm never going to be able to catch-up." Sam explained, sounding stressed and overwhelmed at the mere thought of his education taking yet another hit.
Dean nodded understanding the value Sam placed on his schooling – something the older boy did not prioritize in his own life, but he respected and protected his little brother's choice to do so. Sam had to fight for his education in a way that no child should ever have to. He had to work three times as hard to maintain his grades when most his evenings were filled with training and research and hunting. He had to fight their father to stay at a school long enough to finish projects and write tests. He had to adjust at ever new school and play catch-up if it was ahead of the last one he attended. Dean did what he could to help his kid, once he figured out that school as a top priority of Sammy's, the older boy did his best to help him out. Dean kept track of all the paper work, the grades and the transfers that had to be received from every old school and presented to each new one. Upon arriving at the next town or city or state, Dean did what he could to get Sam enrolled in school as promptly as possible – which sometimes meant harassing John to no end when the teen wasn't able to do it himself. Dean backed Sam up in his fight to stay in a location when he really needed it to keep his education from taking too big of a hit – even if that meant fighting with his father, something Dean had never been fond of. John had enough on his plate, he was saving lives, which often took every ounce of energy and ability that he had – but Sammy was just a kid, a good kid who chose to value his education and he shouldn't have to fight so hard for something that was a basic right, or struggle so hard to acquire the opportunities that everyone else his age just got handed to them.
It wasn't fair, and Dean would always be working to right the perpetually unbalanced scales that made Sam's life so goddamn difficult.
"You want to take the day off? Skip school and have some fun?" Dean suggested, a playful grin pulling at his lips as he pushed his frustration aside and allowed his jaw to unclench.
Sam smirked, it wasn't a smile but some of the misery faded from his expression. "Sorry, I've got a quiz this morning, so you're going to have to find another excuse to skip school." He teased, swatting the older teen on the shoulder as he walked past him to grab his backpack.
It was Dean's turn to release an exasperated sigh, before downing the remainder of his coffee, placing the empty mug in the sink and then snagging his keys off the dresser.
"Too much of a geek to help a guy out, huh?" He joked, mussing up his brother's shaggy hair as he met him at the door.
"I'm not failing a quiz just so you can play hooky, you slacker." Sam replied, elbowing Dean in the ribs as they made their way to the car.
"Bitch." Dean quipped with a grin, dropping in behind the driver's seat.
"Jerk." Sam replied, his lips twitching into half a smile.
Dean was getting closer – he would get a full grin out of that kid by the end of the day, he was sure of it.
Because, honestly he'd do just about anything to get Sammy to smile.
And he'd do everything to get his kid to grin on his birthday.
Sam had an aversion towards birthdays – well, just his birthday actually; because the kid always did whatever he could to make Dean's birthday special. Sam practically gave himself pneumonia one year earning money to buy Dean a present, every year he had always done everything to make the day special for Dean, but when Sam's own birthday came around it was an entirely different story. Dean didn't know where the dislike came from, but he would always do everything he could to rid of it.
The day Sam was born was the day Dean became a big brother, the day he was given the greatest gift – it was the best damn day of Dean's life.
He needed to make it special for Sam.
He needed to see that brilliant dimpled grin light up his kid's face.
Sammy's smile was all the motivation Dean needed to start planning a birthday surprise the moment he dropped the dork off at school.
The same school Dean returned to three hours later. He knew when Sam's lunch break was and first made his way to the office to inform them the Sam would be leaving early. He was first on the kid's emergency contact list in their records and had been the one to bring Sam in on the day of his enrollment, which made it easy to steal Sam away for the day without anybody asking too many questions. After making sure everything was good with the office, Dean made his way to the cafeteria, he entered the chaotic environment, his gaze ravaging the room in search of one shaggy-headed little boy. He found Sam back in the left corner, seated at the end of a long table, beginning to open the brown paper bag Dean had packed for him. He was sitting alone, which was heartbreaking enough on its own, without the kid's cuts, scrapes, and bruises making him look that much smaller and so damn breakable that Dean felt as though he was in physical pain with how powerfully his heart was aching. He watched quietly as Sam began to pull the food from his lunch sack, he felt love for that skinny little boy rush through him as he watched a small grin spread slowly across the young face – Sam having just come to the realization that the paper bag was chalked full of nothing but snacks and sugar.
Dean was about to make his way across the crowded space, when he watched as big hazel eyes peaked out from beneath too-long bangs to scan the room – he paused waiting for the shy calculating gaze to find him. He couldn't withhold a chuckle as Sam's eyes grew comically wide the second they spotted him. The young teen swiftly re-packed his lunch, shoved it in his backpack, and hustled his way across the room.
"Hiya Sammy." Dean greeted as the shorter boy approached him.
"What are you doing here?" He questioned, eyes no longer wide in surprise but now squinted in confusion.
"Jail break." Dean responded, reaching out and snagging the bookbag off Sam's shoulder to swing it over his own.
"What? I can't just leave." Sam exclaimed, surprise in his voice as he allowed Dean to steer him down the hall with a hand on the back of his neck.
"Yeah, you can. I already signed you out." Dean assured.
"But—
"And your quiz was this in history, right? So that's already done and now we can ditch." The elder teen finished with a devious wink. Sam opened and closed his mouth a time or two and Dean wasn't sure if he was going to get more push back on his fabulous plan, but thankfully Sam closed his mouth and twitched a smile – all hesitation having vanished as he matched Dean's pace and marched from the school.
"So what's the plan?" Sam asked, his tone holding more levity than it had in weeks, which was all the proof Dean needed to know that his current plan of action was all levels of brilliant.
"It's a surprise."
"Ookay." Sam hummed, one eyebrow raised in suspicion even as he relaxed back into the passenger seat. It wasn't until they had driven clear out of town that Sam's curiosity was piqued once again. "How far away is this surprise?"
"About three hours." Dean responded, glancing to his right, amused by the scrunched-up expression his kid brother was sporting.
"You couldn't find a closer surprise?"
Dean smiled at the question. "Not one this good. There's something in the back that should help you pass the time." He could tell Sam was itching to ask a million questions, and was surprised when all the kid did was turn around and search the backseat. "It's in the grocery bag." Dean hinted.
Sam returned to a forward-facing position with the bag in his lap, quickly sticking his hand inside and removing the singular object.
"It's a journal." Sam observed, turning the gift over in his hands, running his fingertips along the smooth binding and untying the leather straps secured loosely around the journal.
"No shit, sherlock." Dean quipped, hiding his nerves that maybe his gift-giving skills weren't as on point as he had hoped.
"It's like the one Dad has." The young teen mentioned, his thin fingers trailing through the pages and then back over the cover.
"Yeah. I mean, yours isn't for hunting and research crap. I figured you could find another use for it. You have like deep thoughts and shit – this way you could like write stuff down or whatever." Dean rambled, his confidence fading with every second Sam didn't give any sort of definitive reply. "If you don't like it, I mean I bought it when we were in Minnesota so I can't really return it, but I could find some other use for it and get you something else—
"Dean."
The driver glanced down to his right at the interruption, relieved to see the soft look on his kid brother's face.
"It's perfect. I love it." Sam declared, his tone gentle but sure as his lips inched up in a reassuring grin.
"Good. That's good." Dean stated with a nod, swallowing the emotion that was creeping up his throat at the sight of the gratitude oozing from those hazel eyes.
Sam dug a pen out of his backpack and immediately began writing something in his new journal, after he was finished the rest of the car ride was occupied by the two brothers singing along to Dean's tapes and eating the numerous snacks out of Sam's lunch bag.
"What are we doing here?" The young boy asked, without tearing his wide stare from the window, when they arrived in the city.
"This is where your surprise is." Dean explained simply, searching for a parking space along the side of the road, once they neared their destination.
"In Washington DC?" Sam responded, nothing but alert as he took in his surroundings.
"Yup." Dean responded, smiling at the excited undertones in his little brother's voice. They had spent plenty time in the state of Washington, but had done little more than drive through DC once or twice. The Winchesters followed where the hunting life took them, which meant they frequented smaller towns, never getting much closer than the outskirts of big cities.
Dean parked the car, chuckling in amusement when Sam practically leapt from the vehicle – the kid vibrating with an energy that he had had been missing for far too long.
"Where are we going?" He asked.
"This way." Dean directed, following the sidewalk to the right, trying to picture the layout he had seen on the map when he had planned the outing.
It took less than a minute for Sam to fall behind as he took in the sights of the historic city.
"C'mon kiddo. Get up here." He called out waiting for the younger boy to jog up to him, before he slung his arm over the narrow set of shoulders. "Stay close." He instructed casually, trying not to show how uneasy the larger cities made him – the crowds of people could expose his kid to all sorts of threats.
They walked about five minutes before they arrived.
"Here we are." Dean announced, gesturing to the row of buildings in front of them.
"Where is here?" Sam asked, glancing in between Dean and the cluster of structures.
Dean's lips twitched, he assumed Sam would have recognized the location, the kid was so damn smart, but he guessed the younger boy had never seen this particular tourist location before – and there really weren't many signs in view to clue him in.
"It's uh, the Smithsonian." Dean announced, a trickle of insecurity running through him at Sam's lack of reaction. "It's a museum. Well actually it's like a shit-ton of museums – we won't have time to do all of them before they close but we could hit up all the ones you really want to explore, and come back and do the rest of them another time." Dean explained, staring nervously at the top of the shaggy-head as Sam was glancing around at their surroundings.
"Holy Shit."
The soft curse had Dean just about to tell the kid to watch his language – when Sam suddenly turned around and looked up at the taller teen.
Sam's smile was blinding. His entire face was bright with wonder – his hazel eyes sparkling as those deep-set dimples finally made an appearance and Dean's heart felt like it was going to fucking explode. What he wouldn't give to keep that look of absolute joy on his kid's face. What he wouldn't do to make Sam this happy every day of his life.
That smile – that dimply grin brought Dean more contentment than damn near anything else – rivaled only by the feeling he got when a pair of skinny arms wrapped around his middle and hugged him tight.
"Thanks De." Sam spoke softly into his big brother's chest – his voice hoarse as he sniffled quietly against the taller boy's shirt.
Dean wrapped his arms around the slight frame that had melted into him, his one hand rubbing up and down the small back, while his other one smoothed the long hair a couple times before moving to squeeze the back of the younger boy's neck.
"Sure thing, Sammy." He rasped, trying to wade through the wave of emotion that had washed over him at the raw expression of love and gratitude.
Sam looked up at his big brother without stepping away, his chin pressing softly against Dean's abdomen as he stared at the older boy with adoration pouring from his wide hazel orbs – as though Dean had done something heroic instead of simply making an effort to celebrate his kid's birthday. He knew he was not worthy of the look of hero worship he was receiving, but that didn't stop the elder teen from soaking in every drop.
"Happy Birthday, kiddo." Dean said, the words scraping out past the lump of emotion that had materialized in his esophagus.
Sam's expression softened – something that shouldn't have even been possible, and Dean watched as his little brother's eyes filled, the kid giving a helpless shake of his head before burying his face back into the firm chest.
Dean strengthened his hold on the smaller boy as his heart clenched painfully in his chest. Why could Sam not understand the importance of this day? He knew it had something to do with his little brother's inability to comprehend the full-extent of his worth. The kid didn't seem to understand that he deserved to be celebrated and spoiled, and to have friends and the chance at a good education and a future, and to have his Dad show up at his birthday – Sam didn't understand that he deserved the world and everything good it had to offer.
Because Sam was the best person Dean knew. He was good and kind – he had more compassion in one of his bony little fingers than most people had in their entire bodies. He was smart and brave and had to fight for all the things that every other kid got handed to them. He had every reason to be bitter and selfish, but he never was – not for a minute. Sam was incredible. He was the best thing that had ever happened to Dean, something that the older boy would spend the rest of his days trying to prove to the kid.
"C'mon, now. Stop wasting time. We've got to get our geek on." Dean prompted, ruffling Sam's hair, but not pushing the younger boy away – because that was something he would never do.
Sam nodded, taking a couple deep breaths before moving away, his eyes no longer holding moisture, but still pouring out more emotion than Dean knew what to do with – luckily, he didn't have to figure it out because soon Sam was dragging him into the Museum of Natural History.
Dean spent the day with an amused grin on his face as he followed his little brother through museum after museum, watching as the kid practically gave himself whiplash trying to take in every exhibit at once. Sam's smile never faded, even as he squinted in focus reading every single plaque and excitedly nattered on about everything he had learned or already knew. His smile was still in place when the museums were all closed and when they stopped at a diner on the way back to Clinton New Jersey. That same smile lingered on his lips that night when he finally drifted off to sleep laying back on the motel bed with his journal open on his chest.
Dean gave a fond shake of his head as he closed the journal and tugged the blanket up over the small frame, sliding the unruly brown bangs off the young face before stooping down to place a chaste kiss on his kid brother's forehead.
The elder teen had seen more artifacts, paintings, sculptures and just about every other form of all-around art, that day than he had ever seen in his entire life – and still, there was no competition.
None of it held a candle to the joy he had seen on his little brother's face.
Dean didn't imagine that anything ever could.
There was no image, no creation, no scenery, no art – that could ever match the power of the youngest Winchester's grin.
Nothing brought Dean more joy.
Nothing filled him with more love.
Nothing made him feel more important.
Nothing compared to Sammy's smile.
The End
Note: Thoughts? I'm so exhausted I honest can't tell if this is any good. Hopefully it's not complete rubbish. Thanks for reading! - Sam - Oh also, sidenote: if you want to message me, do it on tumblr (link in my profile) if you can because I honestly forget fanfic has a messaging system and I like never check it!