"Care to tell me... how... this happened?"
Rumpelstiltskin hid behind a hand and didn't look up. How indeed. He had no idea. It was tempting to say it was all Henry's fault, because the boy hadn't done anything to stop him. He could also blame Belle herself, since she had refused to accompany him to the Sheep and Wool Festival, but that was sure to backfire. He couldn't always expect her to be in charge of his impulse control.
No, it was his own fault. But if she wanted an explanation, he had none.
"Alright," Belle said, trying to be patient. "Lets start small. Why did you buy the cap?"
That was an easy one.
"Henry said we should get matching souvenirs, since this was a family thing," Rumple explained. "I told him it was silly, that I was only there to get parts for my spinning wheel, but he insisted."
"That seems reasonable," she said, eyeing the red baseball cap on her husband's head. A cartoon sheep with funny eyes stared back at her. "And what about the t-shirts?"
"They're for you."
"You got me seven t-shirts?"
"Yes, and a knit sweater."
"A sweater?"
"Maybe three."
"Not including yours?"
"...They are nice sweaters."
"You don't wear knit sweaters."
"...I do right now."
"Yes," Belle nodded, eyes falling to his chest where white words announced I look knit against a dark blue background. "I wish you had taken your suit off first." She moved to the bags that were scattered on the floor. "And how about these?"
"Blankets," he muttered, still without coming from behind his hand.
"We don't really need-"
"And eight knitting patterns, three knitting kits, 20lb of fiber, and the parts I needed for my wheel."
"And two new spinning wheels."
Rumple finally looked up, frowning. Then he turned around to find out what she was talking about.
"Yes. I forgot those."
"You already have two spinning wheels. Why do you need four?"
"That's not the worst part."
Belle stared at him. "Rumple, what did you do?"
He handed over the receipt and awaited the explosion. It came within seconds.
"You spent fourteen thousand dollars on a loom?!"
"Yes," he said, pained.
"Why?!"
"I don't know!" he cried out. "I got confused! There were so many things, Belle! First it was the sweaters, but they felt so nice, I just wanted to see the yarn, but then there were so many types of yarn! And the colors, Belle! They can dye yarn pretty much any color they want now! And their wheels are so much nicer! And those people were just all about crafts, and they were so nice and convincing and oh my god!" He got up from the couch, where he had been sitting as a repented child, and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Help me, Belle! I think I made friends!"
"Okay, calm down."
"I bought sheep!"
"You bought a sheep?!"
"Not a sheep."
"Rumple-"
"I am out of control!"
"Okay!" she shouted, making him shut up. "Okay! We'll... we'll figure something out. I'll just call the festival and see if we can return some of these things."
"Yes," Rumple sighed. "Yes. Good idea."
"And maybe next year, I'll get David to go with you, since Henry proved to be a very ineffective chaperon."
She tried to smile.
Rumple stared at her with eyes that seemed on the verge of panicking.
Belle understood immediately. "Don't tell me-"
"I'll go get him."
"I'll go get him," she said, pointing at the couch again. "You sit there and think about what you've done."