"I still can't believe I agreed to go with you."
Gwen sank down, arms crossed over her chest, in the worn leather seat of Duncan's pickup- or, at least, his ever since he stole it at the age of twelve.
"Awwww, c'mon, it'll be cool!" Duncan coaxed, turning off the street onto another small route that led to who knows where. "Just chill for a minute, babe."
"I am NOT your babe, girlfriend, or even FRIEND. I'm only doing this because you texted me like 500 times. Literally, you texted 548 TIMES."
"Maybe if you paid any attention, I would've only had to text 200 times."
"Well maybe if you-"
"Shut up, we're here! Close your eyes!" Gwen huffed but obeyed. Duncan flung open the door and walked around to the passenger side, then led Gwen out of the vehicle.
"This better be worth it." Duncan took the aggravated goth a few meters away.
"Okay, open them now!" Gwen opened her eyes.
In front of her was a small coffee shop with people streaming steadily in and out. Some were holding expressos and chatting, while others were just chillin'.
Gwen squinted. "What the hell am I supposed to be looking at?"
"You don't see? LOOK!" He pointed up to the sign.
In purple and orange letters, the sign spelled DUNCAN DONUTS.
"Isn't it awesome?"
Gwen stared in stunned silence, looking as though she'd been slapped in the face. She was struck dumb with the soul-crushing stupidity of it all.
"Really? REALLY? Just, just, are you... WHAT THE HELL?" Gwen turned and, quite abruptly, kicked Duncan in the crotch.
As Duncan fell to his knees and cried in pain, Gwen turned and walked off.
"Breaking up with you was the best decision of my life."
Gwen climbed into the car and, before Duncan could stop her, sped off, leaving nothing but dusty tire tracks behind.
Duncan let out a strangled cry as his eyes streamed. But as he looked up and saw the sign, he couldn't help smiling.
"TOTALLY worth it..."