His First Kiss
They had meet at a party. Alec had been with Jace, Clary, and his sister. All of them accompanied by the new rat simon had filtered away from the party. Alec's ears buzzed a little, the noise of the music still played in the distance as they moved away from the Warlock's home. Magnus Bane, a name that now meant so much more to Alec. Alec stayed withdrawn from the rest of their group as he collected himself. The way Magnus had spoke to him and the way their eyes had brushed past one another made him un easy. Moving down the street he felt a strain in his chest. A tight feeling of urgency welled inside his chest and bubbled onto his skin. There had been so much glitter, so much so that a little had stuck to Alec's arms and clothes. As he looked at the blue sparkles now the knots grew, and his confusion swelled.
When they all returned to the Institution after a few or more mishaps Alec went to his room. He didn't do much, he liked to be alone in his own space, he like to sit on his bed and look outside at the window. Isabelle called it people watching and it was something that he had always been drawn to. Looking at others, seeing how they move so comfortable on the streets. Seeing the people move in their own individual way and seeing how they were comfortable in their own skin. But now he didn't feel like looking at the mundanes. No he didn't want to see them, be had bigger things going on. His mind was a wast ocean, and as he swam in it he surfaced on a fear that he was hoping to never have to deal with. Magnus, the warlock again resurfaced in his mind. All his life he had swam away from the idea of loving a boy, of falling for someone that his parent would scorn him for. For a minute he let his heart and mind wander freely. He wanted to be able to love someone, and be loved back. Alec wanted to be able to feel things and to live a life of intense feelings. He wanted to be able to tell someone what his life was and have them be part of it. Magnus, a boy who noticed him. But it wasn't just that, he was a boy that Alec's eyes had drawn to. A boy that had made his breath hitch for a second, a boy that scared the hell out of him.
In the privacy of his own room Alec let out a cry, it was soft and filled with anger. He wanted to be able to let his heart love, and be able to please his family at the same time. Sitting here on his bed he felt like rocks had been tied to his limbs. The world was pulling him down and all he could do was stay still and fall back onto his bed. As he lay flat on his back, looking at the ceiling, his eyes started to blur. Even though he was alone he didn't want to cry, he didn't want to feel his eyes water and his nose run. Blinking his eyes tightly together he made a decision. It was a decision he would have to make alone. He made the decision to try for Magnus, try for this boy and hope to steal his heart. Even thinking this made him feel weird, but it didn't matter, he needed to let his heart lead for a few moments in his life.
The day he found himself at Magnus doorstep was a day of emotional chaos. Alec didn't want to sound melodramatic, but he felt like a girl in a drama. Buzzing up at the boy of there dreams to see if maybe that boy would give them a chance. When he buzzed up he didn't know how scared he would be. The sound that that he created by pushing that button made him jump a little. But the sound didn't prepare him for what was next. Magnus himself appeared at the door to greet him. Magnus's hair was down and looked messy, his clothes were droopy and seemed to slid a little bit off his shoulders.
"Shadowhunter boy!" Magnus's voice was full of surprise and delight. Both of them smiled politely at each other, and for a second Alec just stood their.
"Hello. I'm Alexander Lightwood." That's all he said, words seemed to fall from his mind and every time he tried to speak he forgot how to open his own mouth.
"Did you need anything?" Magnus was a few inches taller than him and as he looked down at Alec, Alec felt smaller. Who was he to think he could be part of Magnus's life, Magnus was a star and he was just a dull rock floating by.
"I'm sorry for bothering you. But I wanted to…" But the words failed him. Alec felt the head running to his cheeks and he wanted, needed to run away. But his feet were stuck to the ground and no amount of angelic strength could move him. To his surprise Magnus laughed. Alec sucked in a breath as he watched the warlock smiled, teeth showing and eyes sparkling.
"Alexander are you okay?" Magnus asked him, the warlock moved one of his slender hands through his black hair. The strands feel around his hand and they looked at each other as Alec struggled to form his next sentence.
"I wanted to thank you. For saving my life." Alec finally said. But Magnus looked past him, he looked out into the city that raged with life. Alec saw an ancient look wash over Magnus's face. It was a look of experience and knowledge that left as soon as it came.
"A Lightwood thanking me. I never thought I would see the day." Again he was laughing to himself, leaving Alec to stand on the outside of a joke he wasn't apart of.
"Also I wanted to ask you on a date." The words flood out of his mouth so fast he couldn't stop them. When he looked at Magnus the expression on his face made him want to laugh. It was a mixture of confusion and a hangover.
"Did I hear that right?" Magnus asked, he comically lifted his fingers to his ears and cleaned them out.
"Yeah. I was thinking you flirted with me, and I've never dated anyone before so.." While Alec said these things he found himself digging his own grave. Magnus looked concerned and understanding, but it didn't matter because it wasn't what he had wanted.
"Alexander you have never been on a date before?" The question felt weird, or course he hadn't. He was a closeted gay asking the most glittery man out on a date. This wasn't something that he normally did and it felt so weird and out of character.
"No I haven't gotten the change." He told the warlock.
'Have you ever been kissed?" Magnus asked. This question made the heat rise to Alec's face. He was scared, no of course he hadn't been kissed before. Of course it had never happened.
"No."
"You such a child." Magus said. He walked a few steps closer to Alec and bend down. When their lips touched Alec almost screamed, he didn't understand what was happening. Magnus was close to him, his hand on Alec's arm. It was fast but not spoft. After a few seconds alec closed his eyes and his heart sored. Kissing Magnus was like touching a fire, hot and scary. Magnus pulled him inside. Alec didn't know where they were he just knew that he wanted to be closer. He wanted to touch Magnus's skin and be in Magnus's space. Alec found himself pushed against a wall, his body being pinned down by the other boys body. Magnus was so close to him, he could feel his heart beating, it was fast, just like his own. A shiver danced over Alec's skin as Magnus lifted his skirt. The warlocks slender hands moved under the fabric, they seemed to be feeling every inch of his body. Alec let out a sigh in the kiss and his own voice scared himself.
When they broke apart it hurt. Alec leaned forwards even when Magnus had stopped, looking for more. He didn't understand, they were so close and it made him crazy.
"Alexander you are so young, your first kiss." Magnus sighed and looked directly into Alec's eyes. "I want you to understand that something before we do anything more. I want you to know that youth is a never ending maze, that youth feels like being alone in a deep blue ocean. That what you are feeling and what I am feeling can be overwhelming. But also youth is fighting for what you believe in, youth is friendship, youth is freedom. I don't want you to waste your time me if you are not sure. I look young but I have books worth of experience written in my eyes. I don't want to burn you out, if we go on, we go on together or not at all." Magnus's eye had gotten warmer. They were both in the same space. Alec held his hands on Magnus hips, and for the first time in his life he was one hundred percent sure of what he wanted. What he needed.
"Together." He whispered, and leaned in. They kissed again, but not with urgency, it was light. Alec saw his future with Magnus in it, it was nerve racking, but if every moment was like this with Magnu, he couldn't live without him. But they had to get through their first date.
"Eight o'clock?" Magnus said. It shouldn't even have been a question.
"Sounds good." It took so much strength to moved apart from Magnus. Alecs breath was heavy as he walked away, he couldn't help but turn back and look at Magnus. Everytime he looked back, he saw Magnus, smiling and watching him go.
I hope you liked it. Leave me feedback for what the next chapter should be. Thank you.