The London Post
Page A7
Lovett's Advice Collumn
Morning, dearies. Mrs. Lovett here. Now as you all know I own me own Meat Pie Emporium on Fleet Street, but me n' Mr. T could use some extra coinage, so I took it upon me'self to find a second job. I knew a few hardy gent'emen from the loverly London Post who most generously offered me poor bones a job on the writers' staff. So here I am, scribblin' away on a meesely pad of yellowed paper, tryin' to figure somethin' to write 'bout.
It took me two days and a breakfast wiv' my good ol' Toby to come up wiv' somethin' decent, which I'm pretty proud about. An Advice Collumn! I know for a fact all you litt'e society girls who read the paper and go straight to the fashion articles don't think anything else matters besides the boys you're after and the money they spend, but give me a second. I've lived for a good share of years, and I know alot 'bout life and the problems, worries, doubts, ect. that come wiv' it.
Spill your heart to ol' Mrs. Lovett. She can help. If there's any'fing you need, darling, any'fing at all, just tell me. Or perhaps your confused about some'fin' your litt'e mate has said or done, just ask, deary.
Mrs. Lovett is here to help.
-Eleanor Lovett