If I was stronger?
If I was better?
Would I still have lost you?
If I wasn't insulting you all the time?
If I had accepted you as my friend?
Would you still be with that lazy bum instead of me?
If I hadn't left for my dream?
If I had told you that I love you?
Would you have loved me back?
But maybe it's better this way. You seem happy, are you?
I saw the look you shared, you blushing and him smirking. The happiness in your eyes. Those beautiful sky blue eyes. The smile tugging on your lips. Your tan hands on his shoulders as he held you in his arms. I also saw the sly look on his face as you shyly looked away. The glare he sent my way and the grin as he pulled you closer. That final smug look telling me without words that he was the winner of the most important battle. Your love. I guess he was saving his energy for just that while I spent all mine on arguing with you to get your attention. I saw the gentle look in his eyes before he kissed you. The two of you making your way from the monument with you still in his arms, smiling. I remember the prickling pain behind my eyes, the hurt in my chest, and the taste of defeat on my tongue. I had lost. I had lost the most important thing in my life, my light, my love.
When I asked you later
"Why him?" you said
"You can't choose who you are going to fall for. I didn't ask for it, I just fell and fell hard. You know Sasuke, Shika is my everything and I wouldn't want it any other way."
I understand that it doesn't matter how much praying, hoping and wishing I do. The blond kitsune will never be mine. So I settled with being your friend. So I can stay close to you and see your smile. I just wish I knew what exactly I did or didn't do for it to be this way. It really doesn't matter because I can't change the past. I just want to tell you.
I love you.