He never forgave her.
Wrote this while I was half asleep, so please excuse if it doesn't make any since..
I never forgave her for rescuing me. I never thanked her, I never
smiled at her. I know she wants me to, that she wants me to smile at
her, thank her and tell her I love her.
I can't. I never deserved her kindness, her friendly gestures and
loving understanding of me. I had never treated her any good, and I
was always deceiving her. Despite all this, she had still given to me
the best gift of all, the gift of her love, and life once again. She
had given me a second chance.
And I try to repay her everyday. Whenever Peter or Susan decide to
reprimand her, or to blow her off as being dimwitted, I defend her to
the best of my ability. Lucy is my sun, her mere presence is what
keeps me breathing.
Perhaps that is the reason why when Peter had shouted at her that she
was crazy, that she was being such a little girl, I broke. My limbs
flung towards his face in lightning speed and I pulled back with blood
on my hands. We stared at each other for an eternity, when finally I
spoke. "Don't you ever speak to Lucy like that ever again, if it
weren't for her we would have died, Narnia would have fallen and I
wouldn't have found a reason to live." I glared at him long after his
judging glance rid itself of my sight, scraping it unworthily down
Lucy's body and back again. Long moments after this I realized what I
had done, what I had said.
I turned my gaze, worried and wide, to her, and her tear stained face
was shocked, almost as if she hadn't had the slightest idea of my
incestual feels directed to her. In those grey orbs I saw my heart
break, and I fled the room, tears threatening to spill beneath my lids.
Did I love her? Is that what I felt? I ran and ran. Past railway
stations and fields of clover, past Narnia and Neverland. What would
she think of me? Could she possibly fall in love with me?
I sat, out of breath on the cricket mound in the back yard.
Of course, luck would have it that Lucy had gone after me, that she
found me. She stood there, and we stared into each others' eyes,
motionless for seeming hours. Then she moved towards me, fast and
steady, and I readied myself with an explanation.
But as she neared, the explanation came and went, and I froze, for her
determined stare was directed to me. I stood, ready to flea, and at
that moment Lucy did not stop until her lips pressed into mine.
We stood there, lips touching and nerves tingling, and I did not move
for minutes. After which my eyes shut and my moan slipped into her,
arms stretched across her waist and pulling her into me. Her body
molded into mine, lips sucking, biting and aching for more. She parted
for air, and I continued my journey downwards on her flesh, sucking
her elegant neck into me, tasting. She tasted of fresh strawberries and
Narnia.
She gasped as I continued, moaning and groaning my name into the
night. "I love you, Ed!" she gasped out and kept her insistences
steady. I paused and removed my mouth from her. I looked her in the eye.
"Really?"
"Really."
"I love you too, Lu."