Suggested listening: All or Nothing- Theory of a Deadman
Matt
I opened my eyes, but could barely see anything in the darkness; trying to identify my surroundings. Feeling warmth and hearing a soft breathing next to me, it all came back. To hide out when you were rich usually meant acting like you were poor. In our case, we rented a room at a rundown motel in the most ghetto area in the city. Being the leader of the mafia, Mello was always in danger; with multiple people trying to kill him. I was used to this.
Glancing over at my best friend, I felt a wave of happiness wash over me. Anywhere he was, I was. For a few long, lonely years we had been apart. He left the orphanage where we had met and grown up together to run away and join the mafia. We never really talked about it, but knew it was horrible for both of us when he left. I ended up depressed and wandered the street, searching for him- until one day I was offered a job in the mafia. When I showed up, he recognized me instantly. There was no formality or awkwardness between us, even though we hadn't seen each other in forever. I smiled for probably the first time in a year and told him, "I found you." That might have been the happiest moment of my life.
Mello
"Good morning, sunshine!"
"Shut the h- oh, it's you." I smiled as I realized who it was. Even if I was in a crappy place and having a bad day, I didn't care. As long as he was with me, I was fine. Matt, my beautiful angel.
I rolled out of bed- yes, literally rolled into the floor- and stood up, then realizing the curtains were wide open. "Seriously? You know perverts can see in our room if we keep the curtains open!"
"Oh yeah? Who's watching us, Mello?" He sarcastically replied.
My face suddenly contorted to what must have been an expression of horror. "Him." I crouched down under the window and pointed out towards the trees in our view to the left. A man, maybe in his late 40s, was standing there with a pair of binoculars in his hands, staring straight at our window. Well that was awkward.
"Oh. Okay, well close the curtains." Matt told me. No duh. I yanked them closed, so no one else could stalk me.
After tugging on a pair of leather skinny jeans, and a black tank top, I paused to think about something. Something that had been on my mind a lot recently.
"Matt, I need to tell you something."
"Um... yeah, you can tell me." He must be wondering why I was being so sincere. Normally I would go on with a dirty joke or something like that. This time I paused. The air was filled with the heaviness my heart had always had; keeping this from him. I took a deep breath in, and exhaled slowly, thinking it might calm my nerves.
"All or nothing." This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in even my messed up life. I'm not really the 'I love you' type. So why not say it with a song? "Babe, it's you and I."
Why did I say that? That was the weirdest thing I could have ever said. He's going to hate me, to reject me, and now my life with a chance of some happiness is over. Because even if he didn't know how I felt, I could live with being best friends. Now this is the moment that could make or break our entire relationship.
Without those orange goggles, I could see the emotions in his gorgeous jade eyes. All those colors, each individual shade of green stood out to me. Amazement, shock, confusion... was love hidden somewhere in there?
"Are you serious?" I thought I sensed a mocking tone in his voice.
Oh no. Well I had to continue now, or I might never know.
"Yes, I love you, and I don't mean that in a straight way." Honesty was best, right?
Matt
What the heck was that? I left the room, not caring if I was only wearing my pajamas.
Holy Mario. Did Mello just confess his... love for me? This can't happen, it's just not right!
An lady glanced back at me curiously. as I slumped to the floor outside our room. Right now, I couldn't care less what anyone else thought, I was so caught up in thinking.
Thoughts, questions, memories whirled through my mind. What could have caused him to say that? Of course Mello liked to joke around a lot, but this was... honest. I could tell it was hard for him to say. He was scared of telling me. Mello, scared? What if he though I wouldn't accept him when he told the truth? Picking myself up and still very unsure of the situation, I lingered in the hallway. I couldn't just leave him there wondering if I hated him. But what exactly did I feel? After a moment I realized what I had known all along. When he said that- a statement that bold had to be true, and my heart reacted to it. I've rejected the idea for years, but now I know what my heart says.
Walking back into our room, the sight nearly broke my heart. Mello was actually crying.
Usually so full of pride and confident, he was now broken and regretful. The first time I've ever seen him cry. We needed each other. First I had to make it clear that I accepted what we both knew. I sat down on the couch and held him tight to let him know he was loved.