Left Forever
By: Yael Ann Neale
The tears streamed down her face as she sat on the windowsill herlegs dangling off onto the roof. He'd left her.
He'd left her.
Dear Lord he'd left her.
Alone.
Oh so alone.
"What's I do so wrong that the Heaven's above believe I deserve such a fate?" she pondered adding yet another Kleenex to the pile on the floor inside.
The day had started normal, happy, just perfect. Certainly she didn't expect it would come to such a heartbreaking end. Now she sat in her window, crying her eyes out to the world wanting so much to just jump.
To end it all.
To leave.
She wouldn't though. Her friends would follow her in to oblivion and darkness. No she wouldn't allow it. Carefully, slowly she turned on the sill bringing her feet back into her bedroom her bare feet padding across the polished hardwood floor.
"Bed. I should get ready for bed," she whispered to the empty apartment, her voice low, quiet, distant. Reaching the bathroom door she reached out opening the door with a small twist of the handle. Yawning she hit the power button on the radio a small, barely noticeable, smile passing across her face for a split second as the music blasted through the speakers. The music took her away, momentarily, to another land. A land of her own. She brought herself back to reality with a shake of her head as the warm water of the shower poured down over her a gentle sigh escaping her lips. The phone rang out in the living room and she ignored it, opting to turn the radio up louder than answer the phone. She already knew was calling anyways.
It would be him.
He who had shattered her heart, her dreams, her life no more than a few hours ago.
Calling to apologize, to say sorry.
Not this time. No she refused to run back into his willingly to "forgive and forget" as he always put it. She'd survived her first year of college without so she'd go the last year without him.
She shivered as she realized the water had began to run cold and stepped out onto the bathmat turning the shower knob to cease the comforting sound of the water. With another sigh she grabbed two towels from the closet wrapping one around her body and the other she used to dry her hair.
The phone rang again.
This time she covered the distance between her and the phone picking up the receiver and taking a breath before speaking.
"H-hello," she said trying her hardest to keep her voice steady, strong, unforgiving.
"Hey baby," he answered coolly. Like nothing had ever happened. He was going to apologize once again.
Her heartbeat began to race.
'No not again,' she thought taking yet another deep, silent breath.
"Don't you 'Hey baby' me you ahole! Why are you calling me at ten anyways!" she asked her voice cold. Cold as ice, hard as stone.
Unforgiving.
"I've been through this way too many times before and I don't need this! You ended it. Its over!" she spat angrily slamming the phone back down.
She fell to the floor a new set of great heaving, breath taking sobs racking through her body.
"I don't fing need this!" she screamed, once again talking to her empty apartment.
"Clothes. I need clothes," she whispered as if to remind herself as she shivered again, crawling towards the dresser. Pulling herself up using the edge of the table she pulled out the drawers and pulled on random items of clothing not caring whether they were pajamas nor if they matched.
It was over.
Over.
Way over. She'd been left.
Left forever.