I know i should be writing Pillow Talk or chalice of Blood right now, but the idea struck...
I own nothing, and this is not going to be a simple confession.
Confession
"Hey Hanai, can I talk to you for a second?" Tajima asked as the two walked out of the locker room after an evening practice.
"Uh yeah sure," The captain nodded. "Come on, let's sit down."
Tajima's heartbeat quickened.
That would make what he had to say a lot easier. Tajima didn't want to risk falling flat on his face or having Hanai see how nervous he was by his trembling legs. As the two began the short trek to Tajima's house the cleanup tried to remember what he was going to say. He knew the gist of it, (how could he not?) but he had no recollection of the little speech that he had created since he was so nervous.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Hanai asked slowly.
Tajima had a feeling that Hanai thought the topic of their conversation would be of a sexual nature. The cleanup recognized since that was ninety percent of what came out of his mouth Hanai had every right to be nervous.
The captain, from Tajima's point of view at least, was like the rest of the world in their Victorian-esque attitudes towards sex. It was a very natural process and everyone had needs and desires, it wasn't Tajima's fault that his needs and desires were a tad bit stronger than others his age.
"Yeah… um I…" he stammered.
Tajima felt so nervous and couldn't help but wonder if this was what Mihashi felt on a daily basis. He'd have to ask later.
"Wow man, are you okay?" Hanai asked. "You're bright red."
Having attention drawn to his encroaching red flush Tajima began to sweat profusely. This was not going as he had wanted it to.
"Um, yeah I'm fine," he chuckled nervously.
"It must be something important," Hanai said. "You haven't said anything sexual, or anything at all for that matter, but how often do you really…"
Tajima took a deep breath. It was now or never if he didn't just say it now he never would. He needed to nut up or shut up. He needed to grow a pair. He needed to just say-
"Hanai I like you!" Tajima suddenly exclaimed.
It felt good to have that off his chest. It was a total "fuck the speech and say what's in your heart moment" which Tajima had a feeling Hanai would see as romantic. Before the object of his affections could accept, which Tajima say as very likely since it seemed to him that Hanai did favor him, the cleanup took the chance to explain himself.
"I've liked you ever since I saw you when the team first met. Strictly, I wanted to get in your pants, but then I got to know you and I saw how cool a person you are." Tajima took a breath since there was a lot more for him to say.
"You're really determined. Even though you can't do cleanup like you want you work really hard. Sometimes it's like you're the only one who can deal with me here too and…"
Hanai held up his hand to stop the babbling rant. Now he was beet red and obviously at loss for words, but Tajima had one last thing to say.
"Will you go out with me?"
And that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.
"Tajima, could you stop," Hanai gasped. The cleanup obliged in wait of what his crush would say. "Uh… I'm really surprised by this and really flattered that you like me that way,"
Oh no.
"But I like our friendship the way it is,"
He isn't saying…
"I can't say yes to you, Tajima,"
Well at least there's hope someday…
"Besides, I'm straight."
To say that Tajima was pleasantly surprised would be the understatement of the century.
"Are you sure?" Tajima muttered.
"I would think so," Hanai murmured, obviously feeling like a dick that stomped on his friend's heart.
"So there's no chance at all?" Tajima confirmed.
Hanai shook his head, "I'm kind of confused on where to go from now since I've never had a guy confess to me."
Tajima noticed that Hanai was looking at him out of the corner of his eye in hopes fro some kind of confirmation.
"…"
"Wait, you've done this before?" Hanai exclaimed with a smile.
"Nope," Tajima beamed truthfully, getting back some of his usual exuberance. "It was the other way around; my old school was a different place."
The two sat in an awkward silence.
"I guess this counts as you coming out, right?" Hanai asked.
"It would if I was ever 'in' to begin with," Tajima chuckled which made Hanai's jaw drop. "I told you. My old school was a different place."
"How long have you known?"
Tajima shrugged. He wasn't exactly sure of when he figured it out. It definitely was before he gave a guy a BJ in his school bathroom but after he kissed that one guy during spin the bottle. It was definitely some time in between when he had the revelation where he realized that he was gay. Or maybe it was no real revelation at all and he just realized it then accepted it on the fly.
Either was likely.
"A while," he responded for the captain's benefit.
"Does anyone else know?" Hanai asked.
"My older brother," Tajima explained. Hanai looked confused so he elaborated, "You know the one with the unlimited porn supply?"
Hanai shook his head, "I meant on the team."
"Oh…" Tajima nodded. "Strictly I kept it small. You, Shino'oka, Coach, Hamada, Sakaeguchi, Mihashi and I think Abe too since Mihashi can't keep anything from Abe."
Hanai shook his head. Small implied maybe two other people, not five.
"Did you tell them or…?"
"Everyone except Mihashi figured it out by themselves," Tajima answered, figuring where Hanai was going.
"How?"
Tajima thought it was funny how everyone figured it out. Coach had known from the get-go so it wasn't as funny as a story. Shino'oka had guessed after the training camp when she saw that he had immediately bunked up with Hanai with obvious lust in his eyes. She came up to him the next morning and asked and of course Tajima just said that he was in the bluntest way possible.
"You seriously told her that you 'like dicks as much' as she did?" Hanai laughed.
"Yup, at first she thought I was joking though,"
Sakaeguchi and Izumi had figured it out after they added up how often Tajima tended to hop on Hanai's back and ride around. Hamada maintained that they were both gay while Sakaeguchi wanted to know to avoid any confusion.
"I just told them of my plan to get you in bed by our second year and then they knew," Tajima nodded.
Finally Tajima realized that something was off; Hanai hadn't reacted at all. He had pretty much said that he had been planning to fuck him since they met and they were several times when that could have happened why wasn't he curious about that at all?
"What about Mihashi?"
"Hanai, you're taking this really well," Tajima frowned.
"Don't change the subject, goofball," Hanai scolded.
Tajima shook his head and explained what he meant, "You haven't said anything about that."
"Why would I?" Hanai asked. "You know my position and I already know how hypersexual you are anyway."
"I mean I thought you'd–"
Suddenly Hanai's cell phone began to ring, interrupting the cleanup. He took it from his bag and flipped it open.
"Oh crap, my mom needs me to get home!" Hanai exclaimed. "We'll talk more tomorrow!"
So Tajima sat alone in the dugout. Even though he didn't get the answer he wanted, it could have gone a lot worse. Since it didn't Tajima was glad, at least he got to keep his best friend.
Well that was interesting. there's more to the story, but only if any of you guys actually want to read it. If you do say so theni can post part two: hanai's pov!
StarFix