Looney Tunes vs. Dragonball Z
by Rob Morris
(Tweety cowers in his cage)
Tweety: Gwannyyy-Tave Me!
(Vegeta stands before the cage, grinning evilly; His palm is held in front of Tweety)
Vegeta: Granny can no longer help you, little bird. But you can join her-in the next dimension!
(An energy flash is seen)
(Bugs stands in front of Goku)
Bugs: Ok, you got me, Doc. The Dragonballs are in that mountain with da flip-top.
Goku: Hey, thanks for being so cooperative.
(Instant transmits into volcano)
Bugs: Poor little maroon...so naive.. so trusting.
(Blows up volcano with remote)
Bugs: Well, we won't be seein' him for...
(Goku appears in front of him; Smiles; He has all 7 Dragonballs)
Goku: Thanks a lot, Mister Rabbit. (He flies off)
(Bugs stands there; Pulls out carrot from 'Super-Rabbit'; Chomps it)
Bugs: I always say-if ya can't beat em'-join em'!
(Flies off with energy trail, ears twirling like helicopter blades)
(On Namek, we see Daffy staring down Frieza; There is a 'Frieza Season' sign nailed to a tree)
Daffy: Lissen, Buster! I've been doing thish kinda thing for a long time, and if I say its 'Frieza Season', then bruuther, its Frieza Season!
(Frieza smiles; Blows Daffy away, leaving only his beak)
Daffy: (Beak only) Youuu're despicable!
(Stage 1 Cell flies over the desert, looking for a victim)
Cell: Not much here...ahhh!
(Sees Wile E. Coyote; begins to absorb him; the hapless coyote tries to shake off the tail; no luck)
Wile E . (Holds up sign as he vanishes entirely) Why Me?
(Cell laughs in triumph)
Cell: Now, whatever qualities and strengths were possessed by that creature belong solely to me!
(he sees a familiar streak)
Road Runner: Meep!
Cell: My next prey!
(Races after RR; Hits a mountain; splats)
Cell: Get out of my way!
(Blasts the mountain off its base, sends it flying)
Cell: Now, where is that bird?
(Sees RR; races off after him; the mountain hits some gigantic tension wires, bounces back)
Cell: I have you! (Grasps RR by the neck; begins to choke; Mountain falls on Cell, except for his hand, sticking out from underneath; releases RR, who runs off)
Cell: (Raises mountain above his head) Aaaaagh!
(Road Runner is standing next to him, underneath the mountain)
RR: Meep!
(Enraged, Cell begins to fire, using both hands)
Cell: Ka-Me-Ha-Me-
(RR runs off; Cell realizes he's no longer holding up mountain ; Eyes roll up, then bug out)
Cell: (weak voice) not again.
(Chi-Chi emerges from beauty shop; She has had the middle of her hair highlighted in white)
Chi-Chi: Wait'll Goku sees this. Heh. The big jerk just better notice. Someone better notice!
(Sadly, someone does; rushes up, bowling Chi-Chi over; kisses her all over her face and hands)
Pepe Le Pew: O, Madame Skunk! You are ze luckiest of all ze women who Pepe has ever selected to take to ze casbah! Run off with me and...
(Chi-Chi takes off at max speed; Pepe doesn't notice at first; He then looks up)
Pepe: Mon Dieu! Pepe has made her so anxious for ze love, she has run off with me without me!
(Chi-Chi moves at the superhuman pace that even the weakest of the Z-Fighters can; Pepe merely plods, but she cannot lose him)
(Master Roschi's island; Sees Roschi's turtle shell with him sitting on the beach)
Chi-Chi: Master Roschi, someone even more grabby than you keeps coming after me! I need your he...
(In the turtle shell is Pepe)
Pepe: Wizout you, mon couer is but an empty shell!
(Begins to kiss her; She takes off again)
Chi-Chi: Goku! Where are you?
(She assembles Dragon Balls; Summons forth eternal dragon)
Chi-Chi: Now, hear my..eeeek!
(Pepe is the face of the dragon)
Pepe: I am ze drag on your heart, no?
(Climbs out of dragon painting; Smothers Chi-Chi again with unwanted kisses; She's had enough)
Chi-Chi: YOU STINK!
(Belts him far away, he falls from a hideous height, and leaves a crater when he lands)
Pepe: (At bottom of crater; He is unwavering) Ah, ze little coquette, she is playing ze hard to get, No?
(Majin Buu is eating people; Transforms them into candy)
Buu: No one left?
(He is tapped on shoulder)
Taz: Me respect you body of work. But there can be only one.
(The two eating machines go at it)
(Goku and Gohan are finishing lunch)
Gohan: That was a great snack, Dad. What was it?
Goku: (Smiles dumbly) Well, he said he was a chicken hawk, and he thought I was a chicken!
Gohan: Guess he knows better now.
(Lastly, Master Roschi has his hands all over a woman who cannot seem to make him go away)
Master R: C'mon, Honeybuns! Let's you and me do some serious snuggling! Hee-heee!
(The woman turns; We see it is a flabbergasted Bugs dressed in drag)
Bugs: You know, dey warned me someting like this might happen one day.
(Runs off; That's All Folks!)