Leo Borlock hummed softly to himself as he sped down the gravely roads of New Hope, Pennsylvania. He turned up the radio a notch, letting the music fill his ears in an attempt to drown out his thoughts, to stop thinking and to just be. Erase himself, like she had taught him.
…she's got a light around her…and everywhere she goes…a million dreams of love surround her everywhere…
But Leo couldn't stop thinking, not today. He was almost thirty, for Christ's sake, and he still hadn't done any thing with his life. He made a living as a manager of a restaurant back "home" in Arizona. The money was just enough to pay for his four room apartment in Phoenix. And he didn't date.
Sure, during and after college, Leo had a few girlfriends, but none of them had stuck around long enough for things to get serious. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Leo still kept an ancient, high school photo of them framed on the wall of his living room. Or maybe it was simply that Leo wasn't half the person he used to be; just a shadow of himself. Ever since he finished college, ever since it had hit him that she wasn't coming back-it had torn him apart from the inside out. And with the realization that she wasn't coming back, Leo started to like himself less and less. One night, in a fit of rage, he tore up the pages of his high school yearbook. I was such a jerk then. He thought to himself as he ripped the pages in half, and then in thirds, one by one. I was so stupid, so naïve. I just wanted to fit in. And I lost her because of it. I lost the best thing that will ever happen to me.
For years after that, after college, Leo had done nothing but hate himself. Drown in self pity. Take no action, just go on, living a pointless life day after day. But today…today was different. Today Leo was taking action.
Leo pulled hesitantly into the driveway of 273 Bridle Lane. The house was a two story Prefab with a red shutters and a white picket fence. The grassy lawn was littered with children's toys. It was nice, normal house; it just didn't look like hers. What had Leo been expecting, anyway? An African Violet garden? A Rat refugee camp? A silver lunch truck?
Leo stepped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. He walked up the stairs, passing for a moment, then pressed his finger softly to the doorbell. He could here the long, loud chimes from inside.
A small boy, maybe five or six, opened the door. He had a fluffy, blonde bowl cut, like a baby duck, and the biggest, bluest eyes Leo had ever seen. He tilted his head innocently, as if trying to figure out what this strange giant was doing at his door.
"Hi. Can I, umm, speak to your Mom?" Leo bent down as if to shorten himself. The boy just stared, not saying anything.
"Sean! Sean, who's at the door? I told you not to answer it unless…" The woman who had sprinted down the hall to join her son stopped in front of the door, frozen, her mouth slightly ajar. She wore old, fraying jeans, a white button down shirt with the sleeves pushed down and no shoes. Her sandy hair was shoved into a bun and held in place by two pencils, with little strands falling out and sticking to her sweaty, freckled face. Her enormous, chestnut Bambi-eyes were outlined in dark makeup. Somehow she managed to open the door, letting Leo in while she herself collapsed onto the cracked leather couch.
"Stargirl…" Leo began, perching on the velvety chair opposite her. She shook her head, finally sitting up.
"It's Susan now." She whispered, looking down. Refusing to meet Leo's eyes as she tugged at the edge of her shirt. "You…you came back." Her voice cracked as she stood up, tears silently dribbling down her ruddy cheeks. Leo nodded.
"I came back." He stood up to meet her, taking her hand and pulling himself closer. He wrapped his arms around the back of her neck, bare with the absence of her sandy mane. He tilted his head, and she closed her eyes, loving the feel of his breathe hot on her face. It was just like it had been in high school, just like she had remembered…only better. For a moment she recoiled at the touch of Leo's lips, soft, and a little dry, but then pressed herself against him, wanting more.
"Mom?" Taken aback by the sound Sean's voice, she tore away from Leo. Her son stood solemnly by the doorway, his face blank. A wave of shame, regret and anger washed over her as she swiveled her eyes back and forth from Sean to Leo.
"Sean, sweetie, why don't you go watch T.V? You can even use my room. I have some things to make clear to Mr. Borlock here." Sean nodded obediently, rushing up the stairs and out of site. Stargirl then turned to Leo, her face cold with a stony, alien anger Leo had never seen before.
"You." She pressed her pointer finger sternly against Leo's chest. "You think you can just…barge in here like its no big deal, not even have the courtesy to ask if I'm…taken, and sweep me off my feet like that. Well guess what, Leo? I've got news for you." She pointed to row of pictures along the hallway. A wedding snapshot, a family portrait, a couple school pictures of the Sean. "I'm married, Leo! And I have a son. A son who, thanks to you, just watched me nearly cheat on my husband! I have a family Leo. I have a life." Stargirl was on fire now, she was so angry.
"Star-Susan, just listen to me for a second, okay? I know that, back there, wasn't the right way to do things. But…I just love you so much. I don't know how I've lived without you all these years…I haven't really. My life hasn't been right without you." Stargirl snorted.
"For a while mine wasn't either, but I managed! I didn't go searching for you because I didn't wanna interrupt your life. I grew up, Leo. I don't know about you, but I grew up. I…I stopped waiting for you to find me."
Stargirl's anger seemed to have died down now; her lower lip was quivering, as if she might cry, and her whole body was shaking, like a small child left out in the cold and rain. Leo shook his head.
"I'm…I'm so sorry, Susan. This was a bad idea. I should never have come here." He pulled turned to walk out the door.
"Wait!" Stargirl called. He turned around. "Before you go…I, I have something for you. Wait just one more second." She thundered up the stairs. Leo stood awkwardly in the foyer, staring at the wedding picture. Stargirl's long, tanned arm was draped loosely around the waist of a tall twenty-something. He was preppishly handsome; short, neatly cut brown hair, ski slope nose, full lips and pale blue eyes. Stargirl looked beautiful in her long, loose white gown, her hair falling in perfect curls to the middle of her back.
"Leo?" Leo jumped, turning around to face Stargirl. She took his hand, pressing something into his flat palm. "This is yours. I thought you should have it back." She opened the door for him, his cue that he had outstayed his welcome. "Goodbye Mr. Borlock." She whispered as he stepped out the door.
Leo didn't say anything. Instead he walked like a zombie to his car, opening the door and shifting into his seat. As he pulled out of the driveway, the thing Stargirl had given him fluttered on to his lap. It was a strip of paper, folded up multiple times. He unfolded it carefully, smoothing it out till it looked almost new.
On the paper, three letters were written in inky black pen:
YES