"I gave my word, I made a promise
And I'm gonna keep it till the end
What would I do, if I lost it?
There's nothing better than what we have"
Nathan Scott looked into the mirror, taking in his appearance. Suit, check. Black tie, knotted and in place, check. Hair combed, check. Teeth brushed and flossed, check. And the nerves, throbbing by the bundles, check.
His hands glided over the material of his suit, soothing out the creases that weren't ironed out but failed to do the same with his nerves. Content with his suit, they later found themselves back at his tie, which he automatically started to fiddle with as perfect as it already was. He continued doing so but realized what he was doing. He took a deep breath and stopped. Slowly he lowered them and placed them into his pants pockets. He let out the breath he was unconsciously holding. There, suave and reserved. He needed to control himself, and fidgeting wouldn't do it.
The door creaked opened and his brother, Lucas peered in, "Ready bro?"
He swallowed hard and nodded in response, his mouth dry inhibiting him of speech. Lucas gave him a small smile, trying to reassure his younger brother's apparent unease before disappearing behind the oak doors. Nathan returned a nervous smile and went back to his reflection. One last glance at his reflection, a deep breath later, he made his way out the door and onto the altar. This was it, he was getting married.
Nine years ago, Haley James and Nathan Scott made a pact that if neither one had found someone to love by the age of 29, they would marry each other. It seemed like a goof at the time… except maybe one of them, wasn't joking.
He looked out into the congregation, into all the people who had all flown down for the day. He sucked in a breath, boy there were a lot of people. He spotted her family to the right, all smiles, and he did his best to smile back. It was then that he decided to direct his attention to his surroundings instead of the people, so as to avoid having to smile back anymore. He was nervous, but they need know that.
The small chapel was draped in white; everything crisp and clean. White roses lined the pews and the interior with traces of small purple flowers tucked in between. A small smile formed on his lips, he never found out what they were called but nevertheless they held meaning to the couple. Hints of jasmine clung to the air and a few candles stood alight in the corner. It was all so simple, traditional, and beautiful. It was her.
Her. His bride. The love of his life. The woman of his dreams. He didn't know what he'd be without her, or what he did to deserve her, but that doubt did not change the fact that he was grateful for her every single day. All he knew was that he loved her with all his heart, needed her more than life itself, and today they were about to become one.
His best man nudged him, snapping him out of his thoughts of his bride. He glanced at his brother, puzzled. Lucas simply motioned his head towards the parish doors.
And there she was, his bride, his everything.
He swallowed hard.
The bridal march played. The people rose, paying homage to the angel that was gracefully making its way to him. God, she looked beautiful, amazing. So perfect, almost immaculate. So unlike any other girl he had come across. And she liked him.
Nathan didn't know what it was exactly, or why, but the way she looked at him as she was walking towards him down that carpeted aisle, everything about her in that moment, all that she was, caused everything to suddenly come into focus. The world became clearer, everything seemed more vibrant, and he knew what he was doing. The nerves vanished, and a sense of calm washed over him. He was getting married, finally, and to the girl of his dreams. He felt like the luckiest man alive.
Spring break '97
The Bahamas and 16 tequila shots later.
"I'm gonna end up alone aren't I?" Haley James declared out to no one in particular.
"No you won't." her best friend answered back, and in that fact he felt it was his duty to do so.
"Yes I will," she persisted "I'll be like one of those old maids who has cats as partners. Fat, thinning hair line and a house that smells like cabbage." Her button nose crinkled with disgust as the image was brought to life in her mind. "I think I'll have five cats and name them after the New Kids."
Nathan shot up an eyebrow. He didn't know what bothered him the most, Haley's sudden fixation on cats or her late 80's pop preference.
"You're right, too little. A solid dozen should do it."
He shook his head in attempt to shake the mental image that Haley had painted for him, one that consisted of her 50 years from now and five dancing cats with bogus hairstyles. Snapping back to reality, "You know what your problem is Hales?"
"Surprise me." she shrugged, conceding.
"You can't commit." he let out simply.
"There's no one to commit to!" pointing out in her defense.
"No," he corrected "you go out on dates all the time. You've been with tons of guys, all capable and willing and yet you always find an excuse to veer yourself of them. You just can't commit."
She opened her mouth waiting for the words to come out. They didn't. She let out a sigh and slouched further into the hotel's cheap patio chair, god this was uncomfortable. And it wasn't just the cheap, plastic chair that was awkward; it was her best friend's stare drilling into her. Realizing he was waiting for her answer she settled for a long and stern "No." accompanied with her arms folding across her chest. "And my Oprah marathons are starting to rub off on you, since when did I get a psychiatrist as my best friend?"
He chuckled; his best friend was intoxicated and yet still went on with her droll repertoire. "You can be so stubborn, do you know that?"
She stuck out her tongue at him in response and further huddled into the chair.
"Just admit it Hales, you are incapable of commitment. I'm the longest and best—"
She scoffed.
He ignored her and went on, "—you ever had."
"Please," she sneered, "we were in high school and you were in rebounding."
"Say what you want James, but those five months were your happiest." he smirked.
"And your horniest, Scott." she added, wiggling her eyebrows.
Touché.
Laughter erupted between them but the silence that had once enveloped them before Haley's sudden qualms of being damned to singlehood soon returned. Not knowing what else to say and liking the silence, Nathan opted to picking up his beer and taking another swig. The cool liquid rushed down his throat as he held it at eyes view. He examined it, his grip tightening around the contoured glass. He then transfixed his gaze onto his best friend.
He could read her every move. "There's more isn't there?"
She looked up, silent. Her face showing neither verification nor rejection of his question.
"This isn't just about your sudden fetish for cats is it? Or your kinky preference in music either." He added with smirk, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.
"Yeah." she mumbled looking down, frowning. The day that they had made that mysterious transition from lovers to "just friends" had amazed them both, but the day that he had started to read her like an open book was the day that scared her the most. She felt, so, stripped before him.
"Shall I contin—"
"What if you are right, what if I do end up being alone?" she suddenly blurted out. Haley had always been a talker, whether or not the situation called for a little prodding from Nathan first.
"But you won't" he tried to console her.
"You don't know that."
"Hales of course I do, I'm your best friend."
"No you don't, no one knows the future Nathan."
"You're right, I don't, but neither do you. So how can you say that you'll end up alone?"
"Because, you said it yourself, I have been genetically programmed to run at the very mention of commitment." She flung out her arms exasperated.
"You know I was just teasing you."
"No, no Nathan, you're actually, for once—"
"Hey!"
"—for once," she repeated "right."
They both went silent. Nathan, shocked by his friends sudden feign of defeat and Haley, at her sudden realization that she didn't want to grow old alone as she believed she was doomed to.
"I don't wanna be alone, Nate." She suddenly croaked out. She could feel her eyes begin to sting as tears welled up within them. She didn't know if it was the influence of alcohol, or if it was real fear, but she knew that singlehood and cats was not something she that appealed to her now, or ever.
Nathan saw the fear in his best friend's eyes and panicked. Haley never cried, and frankly it hurt him to see her do so, it wasn't something he wanted her to have to go through. "Hey now, what's all this fuss about?" he asked as he made his way to her. He got to her chair and held out his hand which she took. He pulled her up, scooped her into a hug and started to rub circles into her back.
Haley succumbed into his chest, instantly feeling safe and secure. There was just something about Nathan that had always calmed her. "I don't wanna be alone, Nate." She repeated into his chest.
"You won't buddy, you won't." his hand that had been on her back had found its way down to her waist while the other was tangled in her honey hair. "You won't grow old alone Haley James, not while I'm here with you."
She burrowed her face further into his chest, absorbing his words. Her tears had stopped flowing, but her breath was still uneven. Nathan's hand continued to snake through her hair while his right hand held her by waist to support. They stood like that for a while, fixed and silent, as the rest of the world beyond them continued to move about.
"You promise?" Haley quietly asked, finally looking up. Her voice was raspy, and in that moment Nathan saw just how vulnerable she really was.
"Promise."
"Pinky swear?" she held out her right pinky.
"I swear on my pinky Haley James." Accepting her held out pinky with his left.
She let out a laugh at the sight of their two pinkies intertwined. They looked like five year olds. Two drunk, very drunk, five year olds.
"I was wondering where that smile went." He smiled, hooking her chin with his hand tilting it up.
A shade of crimson swept through her cheeks and she playfully smacked his arm away in reprisal. "Just don't forget your promise alright?"
"Even if I have to marry you myself Haley James."
An older Haley James entered the threshold, fragments of her gown scooped into her hands to hold as she went about looking for Nathan. She spotted him up at the groom's place and looked on desperately, eager to establish eye contact but failed. Her spirit fell, she had wanted to talk even for just a sec, but she knew it was impossible now. He was now too busy staring off into space again, humming too no doubt. She could tell he was nervous; he had jammed his hands into his pocket to stop himself from fiddling, years of experience as his best friend gave her that knowledge of him. Probably humming the Flintstones theme as well, she laughed quietly to herself; her best friend could be such a geek at times, especially when he was apprehensive.
Her eyes wandered over his body, taking in the sight. God he looked beautiful. His lean, tight, muscles created sharp angles and soft curves. Hard, strong, perfect. Soft, delicate skin gave way to his handsome features that glimmered in the shadows of the candlelight.
Haley smiled at the sight of her beloved. His figure seemed to soothe her, making her feel calm again, like all of her troubles, doubts had been suddenly swept away. The organ suddenly piped up sending the first few notes of the bridal march lingering into the air, causing Haley to snap out of her reverie. A chill crept up her spine, shooting goose bumps through her thin body. Clamping his mouth shut, she took a breath and then made her way into the chapel, she had a wedding to attend to.
Haley fell in love with her best friend the day he decided to marry someone else.
The ceremony, which was coming to a close, had been beautiful. All had gone as anticipated, as according to plan. Perfect. But for some reason, Haley James found herself in tears. Tears were there, evident, brimming in her eyes, clouding her once bright hazel orbs. She didn't want this, these tears, this emotion. Wasn't she supposed to be all happy and smiling? And she was happy, she really was. Happy for him, for her. But the tears were still there, threatening to spill.
She needed reassurance.
Haley looked over at Nathan and gave him a quick smile. He smiled back, glowing. And she knew then, that no matter what, she'd always remember him like this, in this moment; of how his face glowed under the light of the dim church, the way his eyes sparkled, and his lips smoothed out to a smile.
He was happy, genuinely happy, and it showed.
And with that she felt it again; the calm, and she knew she had done the right thing.
"I've been thinking a lot about us lately."
"You have?" she asked, surprised. They were in the Scott kitchen, home for lunch after running errands for the wedding. "Well there are a lot of memories to choose from, I guess." She shrugged.
"It's more than that." He admitted. "Well, I mean, as embarrassing as it is to say it out loud, but well, you've always been the woman in my life." He didn't figure saying those words would be that simple, and yet saying them to her had been one of the easiest things he had ever said.
"Oh." Blush flushed her cheeks, and she sent him a shy smile. "And you've been the man in mine." Haley inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm the butterflies inside her stomach. Those nervous butterflies, the ones she felt whenever she was with him, were invading her stomach once more. She tried to shake them away, as she had always done, but this time she just couldn't seem to get rid of the feeling that this was a now or never kind of thing. This time, it was different.
"It's been crazy lately, you know?" he went on, "With the wedding and all."
"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts, buddy." Her eyes searched his and she could feel her heart rate rise. Please say you are, she silently pleaded. Please. She wasn't quite ready to lose him just yet.
"What? No!" he shook his head. "It's just…" he paused to compose his thought, "In our past relationships, we… We didn't use the word love a lot did we?" he asked, though it came out more as a statement rather than as the intended question. And it was true, Nathan, like the rest of the male species, had always bottled his emotions, while Haley's idea of commitment was measured in weeks rather than years. He looked down, uneasy. "But Kat says, that uh, if you love someone," pause. Her breath hitched, waiting, pushing him on. He sucked in a breath of air. His eyes flickered up to the soft curves of her face, then her sparkling brown eyes. Their gaze met. "You say it, you say it right then, out loud, otherwise, the moment just pa—"
"Passes you by." She finished in a whisper, breathless.
Nathan sat beside her quiet and still, his breaths short and shallow.
Hers were heavy, as her heart continued to race, pressuring till she was sure it would explode in her chest. Tears were forming in her eyes, threatening to cascade.
A moment settled between them...
Of clarity.
Deliberation.
Confrontation.
His confession, her words, all echoed through her mind. Her words, 'Passes you by', taunted and coaxed her. It's now or never. The man of her dreams was getting married, and it wasn't to her. But she could change that, she had time, and the gods, they were giving her a moment, one that she had so fiercely prayed for along with the courage to go on about it. She felt it, this was the moment, a crossroad, which diverged and could lead on to happiness. But to whose?
Inside, a battle of conscious raged within her.
Say it.
What do I say?
Anything!
Stay.
I love you, I always have.
Choose me.
Pick me.
Love me!
Just say it!
Say anything.
What do you say to your best friend, the man of your dreams, the guy you have been so blindly in love with for 11 years?
Anything, dammit!
Haley looked away.
She could still feel his warm gaze on her, penetrating her and leaving a warm feeling of sensation flowing around every inch of her body. She liked that feeling a lot and she wished the feeling would never leave her. That feeling for Nathan would always be there… That love, that longing… But only as long as Nathan was there. 'He won't be for long', a voice in her head said. She closed her eyes at this realization, locking in the tears that still threatened to fall. Feeling the moment… The moment she realized she loved one man and him alone, and would continue doing so for the rest of her life.
The man of her dreams was getting married, and it wasn't to her...
And a moment settled between them, a moment of opportunity. And she let it pass her by, just like the past 11 years.
"You may now kiss the bride."
"Always—" he looked at her lovingly.
"and forever." his bride finished with a smile.
Nathan wasted no time. He wrapped one arm around her waist, placed his other around her back and brought her body up against his, crushing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. The world around them seemed to fall away and for one split second Nathan knew he'd never felt happier in his entire life. Pulling away he looked into her eyes and saw that she also mirrored his thoughts.
She pulled away from the deepness of their last kiss to take a breath. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him and smiled. The kind of smile that says exactly just how much you love the person you're with, and how there's no one else in the world you'd rather be with, in that moment than with them.
It's about finding the love of your life, and deciding what to do about it.
It has been said that we fail to recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with people, ideas, or things and we take them for granted. And it's usually not until that it's about to be taken away that you realize how wrong you've been, that you realize just how much you need it, how much you love it.
"I had built you up so much. They could never face up to the one woman I measure everyone up against."
"Uh, uh huh." She paused, not quite sure how to react. His confession was expected, but not as much as what she was to say next. "This is strange." She admitted out loud, not only to Nathan but to herself as well, "I… I gotta tell you, when you, you know, when you told me about Kat, I got this really strange, uh." She chuckled, shaking her head. There was silence.
"You were jealous." Nathan finished.
Haley slowly nodded. "Crazy jealous. I'm sorry."
"With much pleasure, I introduce to you all," the grinning priest bellowed out to the tear stained congregation, "Mr. and Mrs. Nathan and Haley Scott."
And to find that courage to let them love you back.
It has been said that we fail to recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. But there are just some things that were too insistent to disregard, too stubborn to ignore. And there were also those things that were too tempting to leave alone, too different to abandon.
"You asked me, all those years ago, if I could ever love you—"
"Hales, I,"
She put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Please," she whispered.
He nodded, taking her hands into his. He drew soothing circles on her thumb, acknowledging her need for time.
"I have never known love, Nathan. Never. I… I don't know what it's supposed to feel like, but, if, if love is a feeling of emptiness when the person is gone, if it's that tight feeling you get in your stomach when you're with the person, and if that feeling of hunger arises when that person simply glances back at you means love, then, not only have you captured me, Nathan Scott, but you've taken hold of my steel heart as well… A heart I didn't think would ever beat for anyone."
I kept my promise didn't I?" he whispered into her ear which lay lazily on his sculpted chest. Haley's back was facing him; he pulled her close to him even more. He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her stomach. She placed both of her hands on top of his and rested further back onto his chest.
"Hmm," she absentmindedly let out. They reception was starting to wind down now, with people enjoying themselves on the dance floor. She idly swayed her hips to the soft rhythms, grinding her hips every so often into him. "Yes you did Nathan Scott."
He continued to hold her tight, his chin on the top of her head. "You won't grow old alone Haley James, not while I'm here with you." He had whispered those exact words to her 11 years ago, and today, they ring true.
"Haley James-Scott." She added proudly, turning around to face him.
Nathan smiled brightly. He wasn't sure if it was possible to love someone this much, to love that it felt like his heart could burst, to love his wife even more than how much he already did, but when she said those words, her name with his, he felt his heart soar far beyond the confines of his body.
"I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time." Haley smiled back; her fingers tracing the outline of his strong, delineated jaw.
"You are the only one that can make me smile like that, you and you alone."
Haley felt her heart skip a beat; all these years he still knew how to melt her into a pile of mush. She cupped his cheeks with her hands and gazed lovingly into his blue orbs before she leaned her head up to catch her mouth with his. She let their lips remain together for a moment before that warm feeling floated over her again. She kissed him passionately, wanting to show him just how much she did love him.
"I can't wait to grow old with you." He spoke softly, whispering to her, when their kiss ended.
Surprised? Of course I couldn't have Nathan marry anyone but Haley! Always and Forever right:)
This was just a little something that popped into mind while I was trying (argh writers block!!!) to do my other fics, the words just started to flow out and this is what I came up with, very much unexpected actually—but I find the things you don't expect to be the best, don't you agree?:)
I own nothing, well, maybe except what you just read but everything else: "Beautiful One" by Jonny Lang, and of course, Mark Schwan and Co. Oh and the "choose me, pick me, love me" line was borrowed from Grey's Anatomy, coz well I love that show and it's a helluva line!