A/N: I'm sorry, I couldn't get this prompt out of my head, I just HAD to write it. It's a little sad, I'll admit. That's a change. I started writing, and I just did NOT stop until I was finished!
***SEE BOTTOM A/N FOR BONUS CUT***
Set to katy perry's "not like the movies", if you didn't catch that in the summary :3
He put it on me, I put it on,
Like there was nothing wrong.
It didn't fit,
It wasn't right.
Wasn't just the size.
They say you know,
When you know.
I don't know.
"Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?"
This is it. Kurt Hummel had been waiting his whole life to hear those words fall from his lips. And there they were, right in front of him. Hanging in the suddenly tense air. Awaiting his reply.
Before him knelt a perfectly good-looking man whom Kurt had thought he'd loved for so long. No, Kurt did love Ian. They'd been together for two years. This was the love of his life. He was going to spend forever with this man. So Kurt said the answer that he knew Ian wanted to hear, and the answer he knew he should say. "Yes."
Ian slipped the ring onto Kurt's finger and smiled up at him, teary eyed.
Kurt stared at the ring. It was a beautiful ring, no doubt. But it felt heavy on his finger. Out of place. It felt too snug for his finger. Kurt stroked the white gold band waiting for the over-whelming feeling of joy to hit him.
It didn't.
I didn't feel
The fairytale feeling, no.
Am I a stupid girl
For even dreaming that I could?
Kurt lied in bed that night, thinking. He was wrapped in Ian's arms. He felt out of place. Kurt wrestled free of Ian's hold and shifted himself onto the edge of the bed, far from Ian's temperate body.
Kurt thought about everything that had happened to him in his life, reflecting upon it.
He thought of high school, and how everything was so bleak and hopeless. But it wasn't always that way. Something had brought life back to Kurt, given him a reason to carry on.
Blaine.
The name flooded Kurt's mind with images of memories that were long forgotten and pushed aside; repressed. He couldn't say the name, couldn't think it. So he didn't.
It had been at least seven years since Kurt had left him. But it was the right thing to do. Let him go. He deserved someone so much better, less broken, less scarred.
He had put the light back in Kurt's eyes, and Kurt could never thank him enough for that. But when Kurt was healed, he knew he needed to move on and find someone who he didn't need to fix and protect. He deserved that much from Kurt. Setting him free was the only favor Kurt could think to give.
Suddenly, Kurt's blood ran cold. All the warm memories of him and himself were causing him pain, draining him of all the heat left inside. He was empty. He had left him empty. Kurt only dreamed of feeling whole again.
But he didn't miss him. He couldn't miss him. Kurt was probably a distant memory to him, he had to move on. He had moved on. He was engaged.
But it still felt wrong. Kurt prayed for the second time in his life. The first, for his father to heal. And the second, he prayed that everything would feel right again.
It would never feel right.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one,
I'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning
And that's just the beginning, yeah.
It was the big day. He was dressed in a flawlessly tailored tux. He stood in a small dressing room in front of a mirror. He looked at himself.
He hadn't changed much since high school. He'd gotten a little thinner, his hair a little shorter, but other than that the same. He stared into his own eyes. Words echoed in his mind from a distant, repressed memory.
"They're just like the ocean. Deep, all varying shades and hues of blue. They're full of wonder, and mystery. They add life to the porcelain canvas. They sparkle, and shine, and are electrifying. They're my favorite thing about you."
How Kurt had recalled word for word what he had said, Kurt didn't know. All Kurt knew was that this was wrong. This wasn't right. So he cried.
He had always said Kurt looked beautiful when he cried, a painful beauty. But Kurt felt ugly. He felt worthless. He felt guilty. Outside of this room, standing at an altar wearing a matching tux was his fiancé, soon to be husband. And here he was. Sitting on the floor, crying about another man. Another man that he couldn't care about, he shouldn't care about. He was gone. And Kurt let him go. He'd had his chance, but he set him free. That time had come and gone.
It was too late.
Snow white said when I was young,
"One day my prince will come."
So I wait for that date.
They say its hard to meet your match,
Find my better half.
Kurt curled into a ball. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. Kurt thought as he swayed. I let him go. I lost him. He's. Gone.
Kurt began to shudder as the hot tears fell from his eyes without cease. This was wrong. He couldn't do this. No, he has to do this. He has to prove to himself that it's really over. It is over. I ended it. Kurt rocked and rocked. The tears were thick and dense, spilling with haste.
But he had time. And instead of being excited about getting married, he cried because he was marrying the wrong man. But he would, because that's what he's supposed to do.
He has to.
So we make perfect shapes.
If stars don't align,
If it doesn't stop time,
If you cant see the sign,
Wait for it.
One hundred percent,
With every penny spent.
He'll be the one that,
Finishes your sentences.
"Kurt, it's time."
The voice belonged to his father. His proud father who had come all the way from his home in Ohio to see his son get married, the father who had never left his side throughout it all.
And here he was, Kurt Hummel, sitting on the floor, crying. For the first time in his life, he admitted defeat. I. Can't. Do. This.
But the voice inside his head argued. No. You will. You have to.
He had to do this. This was what he was supposed to do.
Move on, fall in love, get married, live happily ever after. That's how it goes. The universe had given him everything he needed to follow the steps. But Kurt had missed one.
Move on.
But he had to, and quick. It was now or never. It was time. Kurt knew that. It was time to follow the steps. But what if he didn't? What if he abandoned this tainted dream for the hopes of rekindling a lost love? What if he left right now, left this all behind.
But he wouldn't. He couldn't.
He didn't.
If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be.
When he's the one,
He'll come undone,
And my world will stop spinning,
And that's just the beginning.
'Cause I know you're out there,
And you're, you're looking for me.
It's a crazy idea that you were made,
Perfectly for me you'll see.
Kurt dried his eyes for the last time. He couldn't force a smile. It would hurt him too much. This is wrong.
Kurt stood beside his father. Burt Hummel looked at his son and smiled softly. Kurt pretended not to notice, he couldn't smile back. His heart was too damaged.
His father offered him his arm, and Kurt took it. Just like they practiced. Every step was in time, every camera flash was in synch. Everything was perfect.
No, not everything.
Just like the movies.
That's how it will be.
Cinematic and dramatic with the perfect ending.
"I do."
That was it. Ian had made his promise. A promise he intended to keep. Ian held Kurt's hands. Kurt felt horrible. He wanted to cry. He was crying. Those were tears. Ian brushed one away. He thought they were happy tears.
He was wrong.
This was the part where Kurt's fairytale came full circle. This was the beginning of his happily ever after. This was supposed to feel different. He was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to be so emotionally moved. He was supposed to be marrying someone else.
They were tears, that much was true. Tears of sorrow and regret.
So much regret.
It's not like the movies,
But that's how it will be.
Everyone was on the edge of their seats with bated breath. It was Kurt's turn to say it. Two words that would forever bound him to this man beside him. Till death do they part.
Kurt closed his eyes. He imagined him. He was holding his hands. He looked beautiful. He was going to be his husband. He wasn't standing in front of him.
This. Is. Wrong.
Kurt's eyes flew open. He scanned the pews of people, searching for a friendly face that would save him from this mess, for someone who would take him away from this place.
He was looking for him.
Then it happened.
The world stopped, his heart raced, and his breath was taken.
He found him.
He was sitting closer to the back. His eyes were filled with tears, his beautiful hazel eyes. Eyes so filled with sadness, and longing to be next to Kurt. But he remained still and silent.
Kurt's tears ceased and his heart skipped beats. He was here. And for just a moment, everything felt different. Everything changed. For a moment, it was just the two of them.
The only people in the room, in the world. Together. Alone. At last.
Eyes locked, hearts chained, and words left unspoken.
Kurt silently wished that that moment could last longer. But it didn't. He disappeared.
He broke their gaze. He stood. He was walking. He was leaving. He was gone. And the world returned to normal. Moving and rotating at it's mocking speed.
Gone.
Again.
But this time, Kurt wasn't about to let him go.
When he's the one,
You'll come undone,
And your world will stop spinning,
So he ran.
Without a single thought, or a glance back, he ran. He had lost him once. And he wasn't about to lose him again.
There were glances and whispered speculations, but Kurt couldn't hear them. He only heard the pounding of his heartbeat ringing in his ears, and the huffing of his breath.
Kurt pushed through the swaying doors, and then he saw him.
Every clock ticking stopped. Every swaying tree stilled. Everything moving or progressing halted.
There he was. Standing on the lawn, close enough to touch.
His eyes were scarlet and swollen. His frame was shaking. Kurt thought he looked beautiful when he cried, a shared sentiment.
Kurt reached out experimentally to touch the skin of his collarbone, just to feel. To feel the skin that he'd memorized and never forgotten.
As soon as his fingertips came in contact with skin and bone, electricity coursed through Kurt's veins. His blood began to flow at a normal pace. His breathing became steady again. His dampened eyes were dry. But his heart never stopped racing.
"I need to know."
Him. He spoke. Without saying much of anything, Kurt knew. He understood. That was something that they'd always shared. They just knew. Always.
Kurt nodded. And it happened.
His lips pressed against Kurt's, and Kurt felt everything stop. The world was paused, waiting for Kurt to feel, to feel something. Suddenly, every memory flashed before his eyes. His heart felt whole again. His body felt warm. And inside his soul…
Fireworks.
As they pulled back, Kurt found that he was searching for himself in his eyes. And there he found himself. He found everything missing part of him. He felt the stars align and the earth beneath his feet stand still.
Kurt was alive again. He could breath again.
It was real, everything they shared was real. Suddenly, the thought of his name didn't hurt anymore. Kurt longed to say his name, needed to feel the weight of the name on his tongue. The name he hadn't said for seven years.
"Blaine."
Blaine's lips silenced Kurt, much like they used to; the passion growing and the intensity never faulting. It felt right. Everything felt so right.
The spark had never died, like it never ended at all. The flame had never wavered, and they picked up right where they left off.
It wasn't over.
It never really was.
And it's just the beginning.
A/N: sooo! Didya like? You know I'm a sucker for happy endings! It was sad, I know. I cried like…5 times while writing this.
I had different idead half way through,
instead of Kurt falling for Blaine, I was considering writing it so that Kurt fell in love with Blaine's friend when he runs into Blaine and said friend. Blaine's already taken (or married, or whatever) and Kurt realizes he didn't miss Blaine, he just needed to find the spark again. this spark being found with mystery boy/Blaine's friend.
Kurt sees Blaine in a park with his husband (Blaine doesn't see Kurt) and Kurt feels heartbroken until a random stranger comes along to comfort him, Kurt looks up and feels the spark inside him again. then the stranger asks if he would like to go for coffee (or something, idunna!) and Kurt takes one more look back at Blaine and his husband, they do a little kiss thing whatever whatever, and then Kurt expects it to hurt…but it doesn't.
Kurt ends up marrying Ian and never finds his happily ever after. Yeah, sucky, I know.
BUUUT, I scraped those idea because it didn't feel right.
I listened to the song on repeat like a bajllion times while writing, and the way it ended it could've gone for one of the first two ideas, and it would've made perfect sense. Yenno, a new beginning and whatnot.
But a part of me thought "No, no no no no no! Kurt misses Blaine, he wants Blaine back. It has to just come full circle" which in my head, basically meant they had to go back to the beginning of their relationship (seven years prior) back to their first kiss. And then all the feelings came back for both parties and yadda yadda yadda. Why am I telling you? You just read the whole damn story!
This A/N is reeeeally long. I apologize :S
***BONUS*** here's a little snippet that I cut out from the last stanza type thing, it didn't really fit with how I wanted it to end. So I cut it, but here it is! :D
There were glances and whispered speculations, but Kurt couldn't hear them. He only heard the pounding of his heartbeat ringing in his ears, and the huffing of his breath.
In the pews, sitting in the front row, was Kurt's father. He'd watched how this scene had unfolded.
The look, the tears. It was almost as if he felt Kurt's heart stop.
He'd seen everything. He saw the light in Kurt. He saw the seventeen year old who fell in love. He also saw the seventeen year old boy he'd fallen in love with. Never at another moment had he ever felt so proud. That's why he remained stiff as a tear fell from his eye.
So, I wanted to include it. But it didn't fit right. So I thought I'd leave it down hurr :D
I really hope you guys liked this…this is my first time writing something like…well, this. I just got really inspired and put everything else on hold because I felt like this story needed to be told.
So yeah, a review would be LOVELY. Because I could use some advice/tips/comments/ANYTHING.
Much love 3