Warnings: Perverted Itachi and oblivious Naruto. This is an AU and the characters may be OOC. This is just intended to be humorous.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters, though I wouldn't mind if Itachi came and visited me.

AN: This is my first ItaNaru, I've already started on the second chapter, so I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Sick Itachi

Chapter 1: The Nurse

Who would have thought that Itachi, THE ITACHI, who owned the biggest corporation in the world, would be brought down by a little bitty cold? It didn't make sense. The man had plenty of money lying around to pay for medication to get rid of the cold and yet here he was laying in his bed waiting for his nurse to arrive. The nurse that was coming wasn't just any old nurse though, oh no. THE ITACHI couldn't possibly have some old maid watching and taking care of him. That would just be gross. Also, he couldn't have any young females taking care of him either because they'd probably fangirl him to death.

Itachi had learned from previous experiences with forced bed rest that he tended to get better faster when the person tending to him was somebody he found attractive. It was one of the weird quirks that he had. So whenever the doctors forced him to rest, he would call his little brother and force him to find him a hot nurse. This is the first time he'd actually been sick, in his adult life, instead of being forced into bed rest by the doctors for some unusual paleness or so they claimed. This worked well as his brother had similar tastes to him. Itachi never wanted the same nurse twice. This meant his brother, Sasuke, would have to search for a new nurse each time, which annoyed Sasuke to no end.

Itachi loved annoying his brother, but secretly he really loved the fact that Sasuke was willing to do this for him every time. It made Itachi feel good to know that his brother still cared about him, not that he would ever tell Sasuke that. It was beneath an Uchiha to show emotion. Pretty soon, his new nurse was supposed to arrive. He wondered who his brother got for him this time. As Itachi waited, he pulled out and turned on his computer which had a nifty feature that allowed him to connect to the security cameras and see what they were seeing.

Most of the time, Sasuke liked to hear from Itachi. After all, Itachi was his brother and he loved him though he wasn't allowed to tell him that. There was one type of phone call that Sasuke dreaded, however, and that was the call when Itachi was yet again forced into bed rest by the doctors that were always watching over him. An Uchiha wasn't allowed to get sick or appear unhealthy to the public, so they were always watched. Itachi was watched the most of them all, since he was the president of the company and thus the public figure. Whenever the doctors thought that he might even possibly be coming down with something or not sleeping enough they would force him to stay in bed and rest. This would then result in a phone call for Sasuke from Itachi requesting a new nurse.

Sasuke really didn't understand what Itachi's problem was. All of the previous nurses that Sasuke sent had been handsome guys, who did their job well, yet after seeing them for a week or however long he was on bed rest Itachi would grow tired of them and want a new nurse. Or if Itachi didn't grow tired of them they would respectfully request never to be contacted again as they didn't appreciate the looks they were receiving from Itachi. Some of them would even mutter about feeling like a fancy buffet on display. Then Sasuke would talk to Itachi about not staring at the nurses like he wanted to eat them alive and Itachi would respond with, "I'm stuck in this bed with nothing to do. The least you could do is find a nurse that I like that doesn't mind being eye candy for me." Then Sasuke would end up looking for a new nurse for the next time Itachi was forced to be in bed.

Sasuke was getting tired of always having to find a new nurse. So this time instead of finding one that would be inconspicuous and stay out of the way like all Uchiha's were trained to do and was hot, Sasuke decided to find the most annoying one around. Hopefully, Itachi would then ask somebody else to find his stupid nurses. The guy still had to be hot as he wouldn't even last a minute in the house if he wasn't and then Itachi would yell at Sasuke for not giving him good eye candy and he'd have to find another one. After a bit of searching, Sasuke finally found the perfect one or so he thought. The guy had blond hair and bright blue eyes and a huge ass smile on his face. Not only that, but the idiot was wearing orange. Who freaking wears orange, anyway?

Still Sasuke decided he was perfect because he still managed to look hot despite the orangeyness, he was a nurse, and the guy had managed to annoy Sasuke with the first word out of his mouth. He had to be perfect for annoying Itachi, he just had to be. His name was Naruto. Who would name their kid fishcake? He wondered if he should feel sorry for the guy, but decided he couldn't be bothered to worry about it. He would just let Naruto take care of Itachi and pray that he would do his job and that after this Itachi would call somebody else to find his stupid nurses. After all, what more do you need from a nurse than somebody who does his job, looks good, and is quiet? At least, that's what Sasuke thought.

Itachi watched as his brother opened the door to his house and ushered somebody in. He quickly put his computer away as Sasuke would yell at him if he thought he was working when he was supposed to be resting. Sasuke then led that person up the stairs and to Itachi's room, giving him basic instructions as to what was expected. Stopping in front of Itachi's door, he gave one final instruction to this Naruto. That was that since Itachi was the one paying, he would be expected to do whatever Itachi wanted him to do. Should Itachi's instructions conflict with Sasuke's instructions, he should follow Itachi's instructions as they superseded any instructions that Sasuke could give. With that, Sasuke opened the door to Itachi's room and introduced Itachi to Naruto. Sasuke didn't stay much longer than that as that might indicate he cared. He just "hn"ed and walked out of the house leaving Itachi and Naruto to get to know each other by themselves while he went back to his life.

Naruto looked rather surprised when he saw Sasuke leave without so much as a goodbye. "Is he always like that?" Naruto asked. After the words were out, he slapped his hand over his mouth and wished he could take the words back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. He's your brother, after all."

Itachi just "hn"ed. He wasn't feeling good. "I'm sorry." Naruto said again. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"No. Just stand there."

"But I'm supposed to be helping you feel better. Do you want me to fluff your pillows?"

"Maybe in a little bit. For right now, I just want to watch you."

"Watch me do what? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to entertain you?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Hn." Really this guy was too much. Itachi was sick and this guy certainly wasn't helping. If anything, he was giving Itachi a headache to go with his stuffed up nose and coughing and just general not feeling well. Itachi was going to kill his brother when he was out of this bed. Didn't the nurse understand that sick people should sleep and that it should be kept quiet, so that they don't end up in more pain? Itachi moaned quietly and grabbed his head. Fuck being an Uchiha. His head hurt dammit and the nurse wasn't helping.

"Hey, does your head hurt? Let me get you some aspirin and then I'll rub your head for you. Will that help?"

"Hn."

Taking that as a yes, Naruto left the room and returned a bit later with water and aspirin. He held the aspirin out to Itachi. When Itachi didn't make any move to take the aspirin, Naruto lifted his hand closer to Itachi's mouth and got ready to put the aspirin in Itachi's mouth himself. He didn't expect Itachi's tongue to come out and lick the aspirin from his hand when his hand got close enough. Naruto jumped back and it was a good thing that Itachi already had the aspirin because Naruto would have dropped them in his shock. "What...What are you doing?" Naruto didn't even noticed that the water had sloshed over the edge of the cup and onto his wrist.

"Getting the aspirin." Itachi swallowed. "Now hurry up and give me that water."

"Hai." Naruto moved the glass, so that Itachi could reach out and grab it.

"No. Lift it to my lips and let me drink it that way."

"Hai, hai, but no funny stuff."

"Naruto, have you ever heard of an Uchiha doing funny stuff?"

"I, I guess not."

"And I can guarantee it's not going to start now."

"Ok. Would you like me to get you something to eat?"

"No. I'd like you to rub my head like you promised."

"Oh, heheh. I forgot. I'll do that right now." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

Naruto moved to stand behind Itachi. He carefully removed Itachi's hands from his head. Then he started to slowly massage Itachi's head. He pressed in deeply, starting at the forehead and working his way back. Naruto noticed a definite relaxing of the muscles. He took this as a good sign. So instead of stopping when he was done with the head, he continued to move down turning it into a full body massage.

Naruto slowly moved down the front of Itachi's chest and his thighs and his legs and his feet. When he reached the toes, Naruto looked back up at Itachi to ask him to roll over only to find out that he had fallen asleep. Itachi looked so cute lying there. Naruto knew he needed his sleep, so he left the room quietly. He decided he would make Itachi some food. In fact, he resolved to make Itachi his miracle cure ramen. Ramen always made him feel better, so of course it would do the same for the Uchiha. He couldn't wait for it to cook, so that he could take it to Itachi and then wait for him to wake up.

He did wonder why Itachi needed a nurse. He seemed to be fine other than being slightly under the weather. Surely, his brother could look after him for a few days instead of hiring a nurse? Maybe it had something to do with being rich? Itachi probably just liked to be waited on.

The ramen was finally done, though, Naruto could have sworn it took longer than the supposed 3 minutes. Naruto found a bowl and poured the steaming hot ramen into it. He then put a lid over top. Figuring that Itachi needed his sleep, Naruto cooked some more ramen for himself.

Once, it was prepared he sat down at the kitchen table and started to wolf down the food. While he was eating, Itachi stirred. Itachi panicked when he couldn't see Naruto in the room. Forgetting about the doctor's orders, Itachi rushed down the stairs. He hadn't meant to scare the nurse away. This one was so much cuter than the others, even if he talked too much. Maybe if Itachi paid him more...

Itachi was so busy trying to figure out what he could do to get Naruto back, that he almost missed Naruto sitting at the kitchen table. Fortunately, he saw Naruto out of the corner of his eye. Turning around he headed into the kitchen to see what the blond was up to. Seeing the blond eating ramen at the table, Itachi growled, "What do you think you are doing, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto gulped, "Eating, Itachi-sama."

"You're supposed to be taking care of me."

"I'm sorry, Itachi-san. I made you some ramen. Why don't you go back and lie down and I'll bring it to you?"

"You made me, RAMEN?"

"Yes, Itachi-san. It's the best for getting rid of colds. It always makes me feel better."

"It has no nutritional value. How can it make you feel better?"

"Ramen makes everything better. I love ramen."

"I don't eat ramen. Make me something else." Itachi ground out, before turning around and heading back up to his bedroom.

Naruto stared after him in shock, "Not eat ramen?"

Realizing that 5 minutes had almost passed already, Naruto muttered, "Crap. Now, what am I supposed to fix him?"

"Maybe seeing what he has in the cupboards or the fridge would help?" Naruto started rooting through the cupboards. They were no help as there wasn't any boxed food. There wasn't any canned food either. In fact, the cupboards seemed to mostly hold chips and other snack foods that wouldn't be appropriate for a sick person. After much searching, he did find some dry beans and rice. The dry beans were useless as they would take too long to soak. The rice might be useful, though. It would depend on what Itachi had in the fridge. Given what was in the cupboards, Naruto was surprised to find the fridge full of fruits and vegetables and other miscellaneous items. Most of which would qualify as good for you.

Itachi didn't seem like he was having stomach troubles, so Naruto decided to make some rice balls and see if he was ok with that. First, he cooked the rice in the rice cooker. Then he made a bunch of different kinds of rice balls. In total, there were 5 different kinds of rice balls for Itachi to try. The first kind was avocado rice balls. The second kind was the normal rice balls that had plums on the back. Given that he mostly had fruits and vegetables to work with, the other kinds were spinach rice balls, radish rice balls, and pear rice balls.

Carefully setting the different rice balls on a plate, so that they were presented nicely, Naruto wondered if there was anything else that he should take to Itachi. After a couple of minutes it dawned on Naruto that he should probably bring Itachi a drink as well. Opening up the fridge again, Naruto looked to see what kind of drinks were stored there. Naruto grabbed a bottle of sake out of the fridge. He then proceeded to carry the rice balls and sake up to Itachi.

"Is this more to your satisfaction, Itachi-sama?"

Itachi looked up from the book he was reading to see what Naruto was talking about. "That certainly looks better than ramen. Bring it closer, so that I can try it."

"Hai, Itachi-sama." Naruto walked closer to the bed stopping when there was less than a couple of inches between him and the bed frame.

Itachi smirked, despite the run looking for Naruto, he was feeling better after his nap and his headache was gone. Seeing Naruto up close, he just couldn't resist. "They look good, but I'm afraid I'm just not feeling well. You're going to have to feed me."

"Nani? You were fine just a few minutes ago when you were downstairs. What happened?"

"I think I overexerted myself, Naruto-kun. I'm sorry, but you'll have to feed me and given that I have no idea where your fingers have been, you'll have to feed me with your mouth."

"Nani? How is my mouth any better than my fingers?"

Cause you're cute and utterly kissable. "This way I'll know that the food's not poisoned."

Naruto gasped. "Itachi-sama, I would never poison the food."

"It never hurts to be too careful, right? Who knows. Maybe some of my competitor companies sent somebody to poison the food."

"You know people who would do things like that?"

"Of course. It's a common practice in the business world if you want to get rid of somebody." Itachi shrugged.

"I don't think I like your business world."

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun, I'll protect you. Of course I'll be able to do that much better once I've gotten some food down."

"Of course, Itachi-sama." Naruto blushed. He gingerly picked up one of the rice balls with a plum on the back and placed it in his mouth. Leaning down, Naruto brought his mouth with the rice ball closer to Itachi. Naruto's blush deepened as Itachi brought his mouth up to Naruto's. Surrounding the portion of the rice ball that was sticking out of Naruto's mouth, Itachi pressed his lips against Naruto's and slowly bit down separating that portion of the rice ball from the rest of the rice ball that was in Naruto's mouth.

Itachi slowly chewed and swallowed his rice ball prize. "More." Itachi pressed his lips against Naruto's again. This time using his tongue to demand entrance to Naruto's mouth, supposedly so that he could get the rest of the rice ball. Once Naruto opened his mouth to Itachi, Itachi slipped his tongue into Naruto's mouth and licked all around pretending to gather up all that is left of the rice ball, so that he could bring it back to his mouth. As Itachi brought the rice ball over to his mouth with his tongue, he coaxed Naruto's tongue into following him.

Being much more interested in satisfying his perverted cravings, Itachi easily forwent more food in favor of playing with Naruto's tongue. Unfortunately, they needed to breathe. Itachi pulled back and watched Naruto to see what his reaction was.