She should be dead. Again.

And so should he.

She had not been able to save him.

He saved her. Again.

She had thought him dead and she had given up.

He never gave up.

Ever since Detective Kate Beckett had left the 12th precinct after the debriefing with CIA Agent Danberg, her mind was in overdrive. She could not stop thinking. This last case with the CIA was proving difficult to shake off.

Oh, who was she kidding? It wasn't just the case. It was Her. CIA Agent Sophia Turner. Castle's first muse. He had based Clara Strike's character on her. And he had slept with her too. They had an affair while he was shadowing her.

The CIA Agent had turned out to be one of the biggest liars Kate had ever encountered. And dangerous. So freaking dangerous. She had hurt Castle, and there was nothing Kate could do to make things better for him.

The worse was that deep down, Kate felt like she wasn't much better than Sophia Turner.

Kate was restless. She needed to do something that would distract her mind but also relax her at the same time. She did not have the strength to go to the gym or even just for a run. She'd had a bath, hoping to wash the tension of the day away and feel relaxed enough to enjoy a quiet night at home watching TV before going to bed. But it didn't seem to be working very well.

Kate was now standing in her kitchen, wondering what to do next. She knew she should eat but she didn't feel hungry. Well, anyway, she hadn't been grocery shopping this week so she had nothing much to cook. She decided to go for a glass of wine. It usually helped her unwind a bit. If she could find a TV programme to distract her, maybe she'd be able to relax enough to sleep for a few hours eventually.

Just as she was going to open the cupboard to grab a glass, there was a knock at the door.

She wasn't in the mood to entertain anyone. Maybe if she remained still, whoever was at the door…

"Kate!"

Another knock.

"Kate, it's Lanie! I know you're home. Open the door. I brought food."

Kate went to the door, looked in the peephole and true enough, she saw Lanie's face.

"Hi Lanie" said Kate as she opened the door. "Were we supposed to meet tonight and I forgot?"

"No" replied the petite woman as she walked in, going straight into Kate's kitchen. "I walked in front of that amazing Italian takeaway on 311W and 48th S and could not resist. But I took too much so I thought, why not share with my best friend?"

That place was also a restaurant and it made the best lasagna in town, and Kate also loved their Calzone. But their bestest was the seafood risotto. Just thinking about it made Kate's mouth water.

And Lanie knew that. No need to be NY's finest Detective to know that Lanie had stopped at that place for a good reason.

So Kate closed her door and walked to her friend to evaluate the damage. A large vegetable lasagna and, yep, the bestest risotto in the world. With some side orders, garlic bread, salad and a couple of desserts that Lanie quickly put in the fridge. Yep, something was going on with her friend.

"Have you fought with Espo again?" Kate asked.

Lanie closed the fridge door and looked at her friend with a frown. "No. This is not about Javier and me. You are not second best. I just fancied a bit of girl talk tonight. You have wine, right?"

"Yes, I have some wine."

"Good." And with that, Lanie took some plates, cutlery, and proceeded to take everything to Kate's living room while her friend took care of their drinks.

"And FYI" Lanie said as Kate placed the glasses and the opened bottle of wine on her low table and sat down, "Javier and I are not dating anymore."

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing special, usual stuff. We like each other but I don't think it's the real thing. Not like Kevin and Jenny. So sometimes, we meet and we have fun together."

"And you're OK with that?" asked Kate as her fork dived in her risotto.

"For the time being" replied Lanie.

"So at the moment, you guys are off, right?"

"Yep."

So if tonight was not about Espo, and Lanie still felt the need to stop by for food she ordered for two, then there was something else she wanted to talk about. And she had that smile on her face, a discreet smile, but Kate recognized it. So that was the reason for their impromptu evening: Lanie had met a man.

And just like that, it looked like the evening was everything Kate needed to change her mind. Definitely much better than watching TV alone!

Years of friendship had taught Lanie Parish that her friend Kate Beckett was a very secretive person. It had taken the detective a long time to open up to the Medical Examiner about her mum's murder and the impact it had had on her life. Lanie had been there when Kate had gotten so deep into the case that she had nearly lost herself. It had been painful to see her friend putting the files in an archive box, literally. Lanie had told her that she wasn't letting her mum down, Captain Montgomery had told her that as well, but she knew it was exactly how Kate had felt. It had been difficult for her to accept that she could not solve the case just yet. It didn't mean never, but that was what Kate had thought. Until Castle.

Lanie wasn't at Kate's condo by mistake tonight. She had talked to Esposito and Ryan but neither of them knew what their last case was about. With the CIA involved, only a handful of people knew the details of the case. Need to know basis, they had said with no effort to hide how gutted they were to be left out of it. The fact that even Captain Gates ignored what the case involved was a small consolation.

But Lanie wasn't here tonight to obtain details about the case. She was worried about her friend. 24 hours earlier, Lanie had been called on Pier 32 on the Hudson River to examine a body only to find out that Kate and Castle had escaped death very narrowly. And then, she had met the CIA people involved in that case. Well, «met» was a big word given that the woman who seemed to be in charge had ignored everyone, hardly said more than 10 words, none of which had been amicable. But Lanie had not missed the interaction between her and Castle and that was why she was here tonight.

Ever since her shooting less than a year ago, Kate had been even more secretive, discreet, than ever. Every time Lanie had tried to talk to her about her time in her Dad's cabin, her return to work, or Writer Boy, Kate had cut the conversation short. The fact that, at the pier, Castle had taken the lead to explain what had happened to this female CIA Agent had made Lanie very curious. And of course, there was also their «lovers' quarrel» as she called it, in her morgue a few hours later. So yes, Lanie wanted to know what all this was about, but most of all, she wanted to know how Kate was coping. Lanie knew she was fragile at the moment, emotionally speaking. She knew she was still seeing Dr Burke even though he had cleared her for duty. It was one of the rare pieces of information Kate had shared with her. So given the past few days Kate had gone through, Lanie just wanted to make sure her best friend was going to be OK.

Hence the food. She had picked it on purpose. Knowing Kate, she wasn't going to eat anything healthy, if anything. So yes, it could be considered as a bribe she guessed, but she really did not care.

Right now, Kate was listening to her talking about this new guy who has just joined her gym. And she was eating. This risotto never failed! And the wine helped her relax as well. All Lanie had to do was wait for Kate to finish her dinner and then she'd approach her on the real reason for her presence tonight.