Create A Character

I'm bored and it's late. Time to write.

A bright flash suddenly faded into what looked like the ceiling of an old Goodsprings house-turned doctor's office. Because that's exactly what it was. A man with a bandage on his head sat up on his bed, where he had been out for presumably days.

"You're awake. How 'bout that." Said a mustachioed man dressed like a caravaneer. He was sitting on a chair, and had presumably been watching his patient for hours.

"Yeah. Why am I in an old Goodsprings house-turned doctor's office, anyway?" After saying this, the man, (who had no name or appearance yet) attempted to get up.

The 'doctor' stopped him there, saying, "Woah woah, easy there, easy. You've been out cold a couple of days now. Why don't you just relax a second, get your bearings, and see what the damage is." The balding man finished this sentence with a bit of a creepy rasp, making the man ponder if he was in a weird horror game instead of an RPG.

"You know, you look a lot less detailed than the guys from the intro. Like the guy who shot right into the camera? He almost looked real. Your model is just pathetic compared to that."

"How 'bout your name? Can you tell me your name?" The man prodded. A typing menu appeared suddenly in front of our identity-less hero. Quickly throwing all conventions for realism out the window, he typed in 'Captain Scruffy'.

"Huh. You can't say that's what, I'd have picked for ya, but if that's your name that's your name. I'm Doc Mitchell. Welcome to Goodsprings."

Cpt. Scruffy nodded and said "You too."

"Now, I hope you don't mind, but I had to go rooting around in your noggin to pull all the bits of lead out. I take pride in my needle-work, but you better tell me if I left anything out of place. How'd I do?" After saying this, the supposed Doc pulled a device from his nether regions and tried handing it to Scruffy. After a moment of sniffing it, our hero took it.

In the screen the device had, Scruffy looked like a middle-aged blonde man with a bit of a baby-face. After deciding not to suddenly become a woman, Scruffy set to work 'remastering' his appearance. Five minutes later, Captain Scruffy was a 70-something Hispanic man with a 'Survivalist' beard and all of his facial sliders as far to the right as possible. The Captain didn't want to brag, but he looked adorable.

Scruffy handed back the screen after pressing OK, feeling his face and physique rapidly changing, conforming to what he input on the machine. He then handed it back to Mitchell who jammed it back into his-

The Doc piped up again. "Well, I got most of it right. What mattered, anyway. Okay. No sense keeping you in bed anymore. Let's see if we can get you on your feet."

As the Doc helped up Scruffy, a weight was lifted from his chest. This was not a horror game. Not yet at least.

"Good. Why don't you walk down to the end of the room; Over by that vigor-tester machine there. Take it slow now, it ain't a race." Our hero promptly looked all over the place and then broke into a hard jog to the bright machine. After ignoring more words from the doctor, he pressed 'A' and began changing his attributes.

After realizing that he wasn't playing space invaders, the man dumped all of his points into Charisma and Intelligence. After hitting OK again, he felt all of his muscles shrink. The world began to blur, and Scruffy was feeling quite clumsy on his legs.

"Can I… go back and do that again? I suppose I need *some* strength. Doc?"

"Well, we know your vitals are good, but that don't mean that bullet didn't leave you nutterer than a bighorner dropping." (Author's Note: He really says this.)

"What do you say you take a seat on my couch, and we'll see if your dogs are still barkin'. Alright. I'm gonna say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Dog"

Captain Scruffy spent a few minutes navigating his options for replying. After deducing that he thought all of his options were crap, he simply said "Beard."

"House."

"That awesome TV show where he's a cranky doctor with leg problems and he diagnoses and it's kind of like Sherlock Holmes but he's a doctor."

"Night."

"Dark, I guess." Scruffy said, after getting bored of looking through more options.

"Bandit."

"Beard."

"Light."

"-Saber." Our hero cut in, almost before Doc was done speaking.

"Mother."

"Beard."

"Hmm. Sometimes when you give tests like this, you learn more than you was hopin' for, and I reckon that ain't always the best thing. But I guess that explains a thing or two about your predicament." The Doc said, while the Hero wonder how he got a southern accent living in Nevada.

"Okay. Now I got a few statements. I want you to tell me how much they sound like something you'd say." Captain Scruffy was really bored by now, and simply disagreed with everything the Doctor said.

"Almost done here. What do you say you have a look at this. Tell me what you see."

"I've figured out by now that it doesn't matter what I say. Just show me." With Scruffy's response a picture magically appeared on a music stand.

"Oh, that… that's what I imagine your nether regions to look like."

The Doc took this in stride, saying , "Okay, how 'bout this one?"

After a second's pondering, our hero responded, "The other side of your nether regions." Having accepted these insults the doctor said, "Last one," and the third picture came with a snap of his fingers. The once-courier ran his fingers through his beard.

"That's two bears high-fiving." Scruffy finally remarked.

"Well, that's all she wrote. I don't have nothing to compare it to, so you'd better just have a look at the results. See if it looks alright to you." After Doc Mitchell finished saying this, another screen popped up. Captain Scruffy could choose what he was good at. Because he could only pick Explosives once, he had to choose Survival and Guns to go along with it. By this time, Captain Scruffy was done listening to what the Doc had to say, so he just waited for another screen to pop up.

The Captain went in to select his traits, picking Wild Wasteland, and almost setting on Small Frame. He decided against it though, seeing how he was already built like a little boy and could barely hold himself up. Just one trait was enough for him.

"Alright, that just about does it. Come with me, I'll see you out." At the door, The doctor outfitted Cpt. Scruffy with a pip-boy, a 9mm pistol with some ammo, and a Vault 21 Jumpsuit.

"Wait, so I've been naked this entire time, then?"

In response, Doc Mitchell merely smiled his ever-shifty smile and then wished Scruffy good luck out in the Wasteland.

Captain Scruffy used his first nine bullets on Mitchell's head, and his second nine all around his torso. He then proceeded to take everything that wasn't bolted down inside of the doctor's office, and well, a couple of things that were bolted down. Our Hero prepared himself for the world outside, and then pressed 'A' at the door.

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