You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home

Chapter One: She's Country

As I finished the song, I looked out at the audience. They were screaming my name; I waved at them as I started walking off the stage. After three hours of singing, dancing, screaming, jumping and more I was ready for it to be over. I couldn't bend my knees anymore because they hurt so badly from the black boots I was wearing. Yes, the boots where above the knees. A friendly word of advice never wear boots above or right at the knee, it hurts like a mother trucker.

"Great job out there." The crew was yelling, as I walked backstage.
"Thanks, you guys were pretty good yourselves." I joked.

It's always like this, I go on tour. Sing, dance and all that other stuff, when I'm done I go backstage and everybody is happy. My daddy always said "People are always happy when they get something from you or when they want something from you." I walked in my changing room; I had to get those boots off.

As I walked in, I looked over at the small white sofa that was in the right corner of the room. At first I didn't notice that someone was sitting in it.

"Dad?" I asked.
"Hey there sweetheart." He just sat there acting like everything was fine. No sign of what was about to happen next.

One Week Later

I look over at the alarm clock sitting on the night stand next to my bed. It's four in the morning; the bright red numbers are the only thing that I can see in the dark. The sun will be up in about an hour and a half so I still have time tell I have to be up. I turn from the clock to the sealing; it's white with little bumps on it. A week ago I was dancing and singing in Atlanta, now I'm here in my old room, my old bed, my old small town, and my old life. I hate it.

I look over at the clock again; I can't stay in bed anymore. I'm about to lose my mind and my dad must be up by now. He did always like to get up bright and early. I have to talk to him about letting me go back, because he must be crazy if he thinks I'm going to stay here for the whole summer. I had a life before he took me away from it, and I want that life back. I hated being the small town country girl with big dreams, whose daddy used to be a country hit, and having a family that owned most of the state. I love the person I become over the last three years, everywhere I went people worshiped the ground I walked on, life was easy, no worries, all I had to do was sing.

I get out of bed, and walk out of my room. When I get into the hall, I look to see if my parents' room door is open but it's closed, so I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hey, there sweetheart." I hear my dad's voice.
"Good morning dad." I sit down at the table.
"How long are you going to keep this up Jamie?"
"Keep what up dad?"
"The moping around, not sleeping." I can tell he is getting annoyed.
"When can I go back to my life?"
"This is your life Jamie. Or is that on the long list of things you just happened to forget over the last three years. Before you became famous, Jamie this was your life."
"I know that, but it's not my life anymore. I have a new life, a better one."
"This life was bad? You got whatever you wanted Jamie, money was never a problem. But wait of course it was because you couldn't just go to Paris and spend half a million dollars in a day."
"How many times do I have to say sorry? And it's my money, it's not like I ran out."
"You keep this up and you will never see that life again."
"You can't do that."
"I got you into that life, and I can take you out of it."
"So I spent half a million dollar big deal, get over it."
"You need to stop yelling. You also missed Katie's birthday, well your mother was lucky and got a card. Your cousin got nothing from you."
"I'm not doing this again." I roll my eyes.
"Then don't. Go and sit in your room all day again, like you have been all week."
"How long?" I get up.
"As long as I say."
"I hate you." I walk out of the kitchen and up to my room. When I get in my room I slam the door shut.

I look over at the alarm clock on my bed it's seven in the morning now. I have to pee really
badly, but I also don't want to leave my room. I get off my bed and start to walk around the room.

Knock, Knock, Knock

"Come in." I say as I sit back down on the bed.

My dad walks into the room, but does not come in past the door way.

"Get dressed, and met me in the truck in ten minutes."
"Why?"
"Because I said so Jamie stop making everything so hard."
"Where are we going? It is me and you right?"
"You will see, and yes it's just me and you." He turns to leave the room.
"Get dressed." And walks out.

I walk to my closet and pull out an old pair of blue jeans, a plaid American Eagle shirt, and a pair of black cowgirl boots. I look at myself in the mirror, I start to spin around and dance, well I sing "Cowgirls Don't Cry".

12 Years Ago

"Daddy, when do I get to see the horse?" I asked my dad well I was getting out of the truck.
"Soon sweetheart. You know what how about you go on inside and get some cookies."
"Okay, daddy do you think Aunt Maggie made the ones with white chocolate chips?"
"I don't know, but if she did save me some."

I give my daddy a hug and run into the house. Well he heads over to the horse farm for the birth of a new horse. I walk into the house, my mom and Aunt Maggie are in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking.

"Hey, baby." My mom said as I walked in.
"Hi, mama. Hi, Aunt Maggie." I walk over to the table and my mom gives me a kiss on the head.
"Hi, Jamie-Bear. Katie and Johnny are in the back playing if you wanna go out there."
"Okay, but first Aunt Maggie I have a question for you."
"What is it?" She smiles, she knew what I was going to ask her. I asked the same question every time.
"Did you make cookies with the white chips?"
"Yes, they will be done soon."
"Daddy said the horse will be born soon. And then I get my own horse, my first horse."
"Yes, you do. I bet you can't wait can you?"
"No. But daddy said that it will be sometime before I can ride the horse."
"Yeah, I'm sure it will be. But once you get the chance, he is all you're forever."

Now

I look out the window of the truck as we drive on the gravel road; I smell the flowers and trees as we pass them. I don't know where we are going, because this road leads to so many different places. I and my dad have not said a word to each other since we got in the truck. I look over at him, just driving, looking out at the road ahead. We turn onto another road, and then all of a sudden I know exactly where we are going. As we get closer, my stomach starts to hurt. I look at my dad to see if he notices anything about my worry but he is still looking at the road and only the road. Final when we pull up to the gate I can't take it anymore.

"The horse farm? Dad what the fuck?" As the words come out of my mouth I realize what I just said.
"You used to love it Jamie, I thought maybe coming here…"
"What coming here maybe I will forgive you for taking me away from my life?" I ask before he gets the chance to finish.
"NO! I thought that maybe coming here would help you relax and think about where you went wrong, because for some reason you just got seem to get that."

As we get pass the gate, dad drives all the way to the third barn. That's where my horse is or was three years ago anyway.