Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Nothing.
AN: None of this is Betaed; I'm the only one who's edited it so sorry for any mistakes.
Need to Know
"Shawn! What is this?" Looking over at his irate best friend who had just burst into the SBPD conference room, interrupting one of his coolest unveilings yet that would have led Jules and Lassie to exactly who had broken into his apartment and left threatening messages, Shawn paled.
"Gus, lets talk about this later buddy." Hurriedly pushing his partner back towards the door Shawn hissed, "preferably when we're alone."
"No Shawn, I have a right to know about this. We're partners, you're even living in my house." Shaking his fist under the pseudo-psychic's nose everyone could hear a soft rattling noise as the pill bottle in his hand was revealed.
"How long have you been taking anti-depressants? And why didn't I know?"
"Gus, buddy, who told you I was taking that stuff? Do we need to have that talk about trusting strangers?" Trying to laugh as if this was a giant misunderstanding Shawn failed miserably, all the other occupants of the room could tell he was getting increasingly agitated.
"Shawn I'm a pharmaceutical rep. I know I didn't have these pills in my apartment before you came to stay with me and I can read that they're prescribed to you, unless there's another Shawn Spencer staying with me at the moment?" Gus increased the intensity of his glare. "Why are you taking these, this is a pretty high dose, how come I didn't know about this?" Almost visibly the detectives and Gus could see Shawn break as his best friend since childhood pushed him perhaps a little too far.
"You wanna know why you never noticed, huh? You never noticed because I didn't want you to. I've been taking those for years, more than half my life by now. You went off to college and I went off on a road trip. I came back on those pills. No one knew but me and my doctor, you just had to go through my stuff today. You couldn't have left it for just one more day. Even a few hours man, I would've been gone. It was need to know basis, you didn't need to know." Shawn seemed to gain steam as his rant continued, he was more angry and serious looking than any of them had ever seen before.
"But, why?" Gus interrupted with possibly the worst question he could have asked.
"Why? WHY? You tell me why. Why does anyone have those pills? Because I was depressed, because I need them. Because-"
"Shawn, since when are you depressed? You didn't need these after years of living with your dad, why would you need them now-" livid, his expression almost bordering on hate, Shawn interrupted his best friend, clamping his hand over Gus's mouth. Frighteningly his tone lowered to a low conversational voice, instead of a yell, as if he was suddenly discussing the weather.
"You went to college, I went on a road trip. Do you know what happens to teenaged boys who skip merrily off on road trips fresh out of high school with nothing but a backpack full of clothes and some cash they've saved up? I'm sure our lovely detectives here could enlighten you, perhaps they could even regale you with a few horror stories. They'll tell you how the lucky ones live; sometimes addicted to drugs, trapped into prostitution, victims of muggings, rape, but they live and often they can get help and move on to live relatively normal lives. Some become thugs and criminals themselves. Some just disappear, fade away, they get lost in the crooked side of life. Then there are the unfortunate ones who die, starve, overdose, kill themselves, and possibly even get murdered for one of a million reasons. The final option is me; therapy can't help, every time I close my eyes I can see everything that ever happened to me in full 3D, surround sound, High-definition, full range of color, everything's there down to the faintest smell, the smallest detail. And I will never be able to forget. Why do you think I need these." With a last baleful glare Shawn snatched the pill bottle out of Gus's slack hand and stormed out as everyone in the room stood stunned. Stopping with the door almost closed behind him Shawn called out to the detectives in a creepily cheerful, compared to how enraged he just was, tone.
"You should check out the brother of that guy who was guilty in our last case. The spirits are telling me Jason's older brother is the one threatening me. They're also telling me that they quit." Bouncing out through the bullpen Shawn waved merrily at Buzz and all the other officers on his way out the door.
AN: I'm still working on Going Wizard Again; this is just a short Psych one shot that was pestering me when I was trying to focus on GWA. I'd like to maybe write a longer murder mystery(s) in the revealing Shawn's hidden past(s) and hidden depths tone but this was just a short 'Shawn got pushed too much on the wrong day about the wrong things and got pissed off like a normal person' piece. Also a nineteen-year-old kid runs away and travels the globe…something bad had to happen to him regardless of his dad's training, I'll leave what exactly up to your imaginations. Personally I think it was probably something horrible like rape, not drugs, that would make him snap like this.