"Scorpius?" Rose called as soon as she'd shut the door. She walked into the dark house and dumped her keys in the bowl on the countertop before switching on the light. "Scorp?" she called again. There was no reply. The house was silent. Again.
She sighed and glanced around the kitchen. There was no note, as usual. She hadn't really expected one.
She crossed the kitchen and went into the living room, again switching on the light and glancing around for a note. She went upstairs, half hoping that she'd find him asleep on the bed upstairs. He wasn't, and he hadn't left a note in the bedroom either. Again, she hadn't really expected one.
Rose sighed. Once, she would have been worried. She would have Flooed everyone she could think of to ask whether they'd seen him, combed the house from top to bottom for a note, waited up for him all night sat next to the silent phone- only for him to stagger through the fireplace at some ridiculous hour drunk and smelling of firewhiskey, sweat and cigarettes.
Now, Rose had learnt better.
She dug out a takeaway menu ("Golden Occamy Chinese- You 'Fone For It, We Floo It!") and ordered herself a spring role, special fried rice and some lemon chicken. Then she picked up the phone again and called her best friend Dominique's number. She could have Flooed there, but she needed to leave the fireplace free so her takeaway could arrive. She preferred the phone anyway.
As she listened to the repetitive beep of the dialtone, a sound she knew far too well, she poured herself a large glass of wine and took a large sip. Then she took another. Finally, Dom picked up. "Hello?" she asked.
"Dom, finally!" Rose said. "How long can it take to pick up a phone?"
"Sorry, I'm kind of in the middle of making dinner," Dom said. "You OK?"
"I've been better," Rose said, taking another glug of her wine.
"Is Scorpius out again?"
"Yep," Rose said bitterly. "It seems to be becoming a habit."
Dom sighed. "I'm sorry- I really can't talk very much right now, Rose." In the background, there was the sound of a child yelling. "I need to feed Emma before she brings the roof down."
"Sorry," Rose said, in the most dejected voice that she could manage. "Go, if you need to."
Dom sighed again. "I can talk for a few minutes longer. Lorcan can deal with things for a few minutes- it'll do him good. So, where is he this time?"
"No idea," Rose said. "He doesn't bother telling me these days."
"He's an asshole, Rose," Dom said. Then, obviously speaking to a nearby child, "No, Elsie, don't repeat that, it's a bad word. Yes, Mummy shouldn't really use it either." She switched her attention back to Rose. "Sorry about that. You should just leave him, honestly. I don't know why you don't."
"Neither do I, really," Rose said. There was a pause. "I love him, and he could make things pretty difficult for me at work if we split up…" She trailed off, wishing she hadn't said the second reason. It made her sound like an awful person- not that she wasn't, but she didn't need to make it so obvious to Dom.
"MUMMY!" someone screamed in the background.
Dom sighed again. "He needs to know that you won't put up with this, Rose."
"MUMMY, I'M HUNGRY!"
"Dom, we really need to feed the kids now," came Lorcan's voice. "Come on."
"I'd better go. I'm really sorry I can't talk more, Rose. Will you be OK?"
"Yeah, fine," Rose said.
"Are you sure? We'll meet up sometime soon and have a proper conversation, OK?"
"Yeah, right," Rose said, unable to keep bitter sarcasm from her voice. Dom was always too busy for her friend now, always tied up with her husband and her children.
"Ok then- night, Rose."
"Night, Dom," Rose said sadly. She remembered all the times she and Dom had exchanged those words in the darkness of their dormitory at Hogwarts, or in one of their rooms when they had sleepovers during the holidays… Things had been easy then.
Dom hung up, and a few moments later, Lily followed suit. She put the phone back on the table and stared at the wall for a few moments. Now what? The house suddenly felt far too large, too empty. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, so she took a sip of wine and went through to the living room to find her book. She didn't really feel like reading, but it was the best distraction she had. Her eyes skimmed over the words without taking in a word. Her mind was on Scorpius, and on what Dom had said.
Why was she still with Scorpius? She did still love him, she supposed, but that wasn't really it. And it was true that he could hurt her if he wanted too- pull strings at the Ministry to ensure that she never got the promotion she was hoping for, take away the house and a good chunk of her things, and he could wound her with words in a way that no-one else had ever been able to… But that wasn't it either, she knew.
She was with him, she finally admitted to herself, because she couldn't admit that her family had been right. Sure, they'd be sympathetic if she and Scorpius broke up: but behind that, there would still be her brother's smugness, her father's relief, her mother's prejudices confirmed… Rose had been so sure that they were wrong about Scorpius, that Malfoys weren't necessarily bad news. It turned out that she'd been wrong.
With a roaring, crackling noise, the flames in the grate flared up and turned a brilliant shade of green. A hand appeared and pushed a bag full of food through it, the paper slightly stained with the greasy contents. Rose got up to take the bag and push some money into the hand, then topped up her glass of wine.
Then she began to pull food from the bag. The room filled with a delicious smell, but she was no longer hungry. She ate it anyway, though. She couldn't be bothered with a plate, instead spooning tangy chicken and salty, greasy rice into her mouth direct from the carton. Finally, she crunched her way through the spring role and then stared at the empty containers for a few moments before getting up and throwing them in the bin.
She poured herself another glass of wine- she'd lost count of how many she'd had now- and then sat down again. She didn't bother to pick up her book this time, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate. Instead, she stared into the flames, her thoughts swirling. Was Dom right? Should she leave Scorpius? Was it be too late for children? Could she bear to leave him? Could she bear the alternative? She certainly couldn't afford the alternative- certainly not without cutting back hugely on the amount she spent. And really, who else would want her? She kept imagining her family's reactions: James's glee at being proved right, Albus's disappointment, Lily's smugness… And then she wondered whether it mattered. They were family: they might hate Scorpius, but they would love her no matter what.
She was still thinking when the flames flared green again, and Scorpius stumbled out of them. His hair was all over the place, and added to his usual smell of cigarettes and alcohol was the hint of something floral. Perfume. He was too drunk to take anything in, but Rose realised, as she half-helped, half-carried him up the stairs and lay him on the bed, that it didn't matter.
They would talk in the morning.
A/N: If you have time, I'd love to hear what you thought of this! This was inspired by one of the secrets on the PostSecrets website: "I don't want to leave you not only because I'm scared you'll hurt me, but because I don't want my family to be right about you."