Chapter 1:

Never believe a guy who is telling you they love you all the while pressuring you to have sex. When I was 16 years old, my boyfriend of 3 months told me that he wanted to be with me forever. He said he was going to treat me like a princess and never have to work for anything. I, being a stupid teenager, believed him. Every single word. Every time he saw me he would talk about doing the dirty. I refused each time. He started getting annoying so I didn't answer one time he asked. He took it as a 'yes' and started. I was confused and had no idea what was going on. He kept whispering that everything was going to be okay and that he loved me very much. That was my first time. I felt cheated and scared. I went home and cried myself to sleep. After a week of keeping myself locked up in my room and only going out to pretend like I am eating and to show my mom that I was 'fine', I finally got the courage to call him. He didn't answer and later I got a message that he moved to Hawaii. That just brought a whole other round of tears. I did believe that I was in love with him after all. When I returned to school, everybody knew. I felt eyes on me everyday for about a week.

My best friends, Alice and Rosalie, came up to me demanding what happened. About 2 gallons of ice cream later, they knew everything. I told them I felt like I got raped. It was the truth. I felt violated and scared. I didn't know what to do. Well, there was nothing I could do about it now. All I had to do is move on and pull forward.

That was 2 years ago. Right now Alice, Rose and I were moving into our college dorm room together. I was so excited to be starting my own life. Alice's boyfriend, Jasper who happened to be Rosalie's cousin, was here along with Rosalie's boyfriend, Emmett who happened to be Alice's cousin. Not only that, but to top it all off my best friend Edward was here as well. He is Emmett's little brother and Alice's cousin as well obviously. My on and off boyfriend of 4 months, Krys Warren, couldn't be here today because he was meeting his parents for lunch. Normally I would go with, but I had some unpacking to do. It is 4 pm right now and we are finally down to the last kitchen box. I was exhasted. Edward has a girlfriend named Tanya. I felt bad for her in a way because nobody liked her, but on the other hand I didn't like her either. The way she treated my Edward was terrible. She is selfish and greedy and wants nothing to do with Edward except have him as a trophy for all of her friends to see. I don't tell Edward this though because who am I to judge something that I am not 100% about? Who knows, maybe she is really sweet. But I doubt that.

There was a knock on the door at that very moment. Only Edward, Alice and I were here so I asked Edward to get it knowing full well that Alice is probably organizing her shoes.

Someone came from behind me and I noticed it was Krys. I leaned back into him and then turned around. He is a bit taller than Edward and has a little bit more muscle. He has longer light brown hair and dark blue eyes. You know, the ones you want to swim in. He was very sexy and good eye candy, but if I am being truthful, nobody could touch the attraction I held for Edward. I went up and kissed Krys and he and I both smiled.

"Hey," I said with a smile still on my mouth.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Long, but productive."

"Did you get everyhting done?"

"I am on my last box right now," I said. He offered to help. When we were finished we went and sat on my new bed. It was very comfortable seeing as I just bought a new matress. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Are you a little tired there?" he asked and I nodded. I also felt very gross and unclean.

"Mind if I shower?" I asked and he shook his head and just laid back on my bed.

"Stay," I commanded and he laughed and said, "Yes, ma'am."

When I was finished I walked back into my room with a towel wrapped around my body. Krys and I have already had sex and are still doing it on the occasion. It didn't feel right to me, but to him he said he never wanted to let go. I slipped on some underwear and a bra and got out sweats and an old tee shirt. I went back to Krys's arms in my bed. I ran my fingers through his hair. I unfortunately knew that this wouldn't last. I wasn't in love with him, or so I thought. There just wasn't that 'spark' you know?

"How are your parents?" I asked.

"Good, I guess. They say hi to you."

"Hi," I said and he laughed.

"Do you want to get some dinner or something?" he asked.

"Umm..sure. Let me put on something that the public can look at," I laughed and so did he.

I changed into jeans and a navy blue v-neck with a pink undershirt. I know it doesn't sound like it matches, but with my matching pink headband it looked good. Also with some pink slip on ballet flats. I looked cute and not most people could pull this look off. According to Alice, I could do it very well.

"Ready?" I asked after finishing my make up.

"Yep," he said. I walked out with my hair still wet and Edward looked at me and then Krys and instantly got pale.

"Whats wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. Where are you guys going?"

"Out to dinner. Want to invite Tanya and come with?" Krys asked him. I really wanted us to be alone, but it was sweet for him to ask.

"Nah, but thanks for inviting me. She is just gonna come over and we are going to hang out at my place," Edward said and now it was my turn to become pale. I have no idea what has gotten into me lately. There seems to be something going on between Edward and I and I can't quite put my finger on it.

"Alright, be safe," Krys told him jokingly and we laughed.

"Same to you two," Edward said and I felt guilty for some reason. I mean he is doing the dirty with Tanya. We are even, so it doesn't really matter. Right?

"You look beautiful by the way," Krys told me as he opened the door to a resteraunt. We talked about nothing in paticular, just enjoying each other's company. I really, really liked him. But something was off and I can't pin point it. Maybe I am making all of this up in my head.

He paid for dinner like always, being the gentleman. We walked back to the dorms seeing as they were only a couple blocks away. When we got back to the dorms I decided to go over to his place because he doesn't have a roomate and I have 2.

I went to his fridge and grabbed myself a water bottle and changed into a pair of his basketball shorts to be more comfortable. He set up a movie on his laptop in his room. His TV wasn't hooked up yet. We watched Blades of Glory. About halfway through the movie we started to fool around a bit. He turned off his laptop and set it on the nightstand next to him. I rolled on top of him and kissed him while in the midst of straddling him. He pulled off my over shirt while I reached dowm to unbutton his pants. He slid off his jeans with ease and threw them to the floor. I lifted his shirt up and got a good view of his abs. He had an incredible looking body. He rolled ontop of me and took off my undershirt and then started kissing me pasionately. He pulled off my pants and I think you know what happened next.

I woke up the next morning in total happiness. He knew just how I liked being handled. I stretched and noticed where I was. I was laying naked only wrapped in sheets in my boyfriend's dorm. Not once have I ever slept over here. I must have been really tired. I looked at my phone and saw I had 3 missed calls. All from Alice. 2 from last night and 1 from early ths morning. It was now just 10 in the morning. I decided to let her suffer longer seeing as she has done this to me 2 times before. I rolled out of bed and heard Krys in the kitchen probably making breakfast. I wonder if he was suprised and scared as I was when I woke up in here.

I put on his basketball shorts and my undershirt from last night. I went into his bathroom to clean up a bit. I found a spare toothbrush and brudhed my teeth and my hair looked like a rat's nest. I just grabbed the rubberband that was on my wrist and threw it up. I splashed water on my face and used a towel to wipe the black makeup under my eyes.

When I looked in the kitchen he had eggs and toast already made. I cleared my throat and headed straight for the coffee.

"Sorry, I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep until about 10 minutes ago. Are you upset?" I asked.

"No, of course not. You can stay here whenever you want to," he said while coming up to kiss me good morning. I felt disgusting, but well rested. I got about 10 hours of uninterupted sleep last night. Why I felt like I had been run over by a bus is a question I cannot answer right now, but all I could say is that I feel like I have another 10 hours of sleep left in me.

"I am gonna go home," I said once I finished breakfast. "I will call you later, okay?"

"Sure. Would you like me to walk you?"

"No, I am fine. Thanks for asking," I said. It sure was an awkward morning. I grabbed all of my stuff and left after giving him a kiss goodbye.

My head was pounding all the way home. I took out my hair tie not really caring what I looked like. I don't know why I felt like crying right now either. I am just so confused. I feel like I just left Jake's house from over 2 years ago. It scared me, but it was true.

I walked in my dorm room to find Edward sitting on the couch and Alice pacing back and forth.

"Where have you been?" she asked loudly and came to run and give me a hug.

"Umm..Krys's," I said shyly seeing as Edward was standing right there.

"You look horrible. What is up with your hair and the black circles under your eyes?" she asked.

"Thanks Alice. Love ya too. I accidently fell asleep last night without knowing it. I woke up a little scared and confused. I got out of there as soon as possible though. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. If I would have known I would feel like this I wouldn't have even gone over there in the first place."

She gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Umm..question?" she asked.

"What?" I asked really wanting to get out of here and take a shower and go back to sleep.

"Why are you wearing his pants inside out? And also why do you look like you have been crying?" she asked. I touched my eyes to find wetness. I had been crying this whole time and didn't notice it. I looked down to realize I still had his pants on and that they were in fact inside out. I groaned.

"I don't know, okay. I am just reallly confused right now and I don't know why. I mean we have done it more than a few times, but I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe it is cause I have never once in my life slept over at a guys house?" I asked looking for answers.

"I don't know. Go get yourself cleaned up. I will make you some coffee and be in your room in 20 minutes," she said. I couldn't look at Edward right now. It hurt to even think about him right now. I walked right passed him and into my shower. I just stood in the shower and let the warm water relax me. I smelled like Krys before I got in the shower and I didn't like it too much. I used to love smelling like him. Now something is definantly wrong and it is frustrating not knowing what.

I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I looed a little bit better. I brushed out my hair leaving it wet and threw on some sweatpants and a tank top.

When I got out of the shower I opened the door to my room. Alice was in there with a warm cup of coffee. I thanked her.

"So, whats going on? You can talk freely now that Edward is gone," Alice said.

"I don't know. Over the last couple days or so we have just been distant. Or maybe it is just me. I just feel like something is missing that I know I could have. Krys treats me right and acts maturely, but I feel like I am dating an old man. Don't get me wrong, I really like him. But it is like there is never fun. I feel like its a rutine, you know? Get up, eat breakfast, do or don't got out to lunch with Krys, go to dinner with Krys, have sex with him, and then leave. Maybe I am lost because I messed with the rutine."

"No, you are not lost because of that. You are lost because you realized it was a rutine. I know that is not the only reason though. What else is going on?"

"All my thoughts have been filled with Edward for the past couple of days that I felt distant. I can't sum it up as to why I feel this way, but I do. I just can't help it."

"Oh dear," she said.

"What?"

"I was right of course. Remember when I told you guys a year ago that you were made for each other?"

"Yes, but I don't see how that has anything to do with this."

"Ah! Nevermind. Finish your coffee and then we will have a movie day."

"Okay, and Alice?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you," I said and she winked, smiled and left. There was one thing that I was positive that I had to do: break up with Krys. How? I have no idea.