This is sort of a little joke fic, inspired by a conversation I had with mumbling-mice (who should get credit for inspiration and basically half of the idea anyways). Enjoy!
He spoke in a thick German accent, obviously trying to be as intimidating as possible. The camera clicked and jittered as it recorded. Behind him someone on an examination table moaned and jerked. The Medic hissed a "shush" at the figure then adjusted his glasses. The bird in his lap ruffled his feathers and the Medic returned his hand to cradle his darling dove.
"Ah, what was I— oh, ja, please- no, ach!" He frowned and leaned forward to take out the full tape from the old video camera. Archimedes perched obediently on his left hand as he fumbled with and tossed the tape on to a growing pile of its similarly used brethren and putting in a new one. He sat down on the stool again and smiled into the old camera.
"Greetings," he growled, running an index finger across the dove's head idly. "If you wish to see this man," he nodded over his shoulder, "ever again, you must—"
"Archimedes!"
A crack and a flash of feathers. The Medic stood up and ran past the camera, knocking the tripod over with his elbows In the doorway stood a huge man, edging his way through the comparatively tiny door frame. The man stood frozen in place, his eyes guilty and his shoulder covered in dove feces and a few lone feathers.
The camera was still recording, however.
"Dummkopf! I told you to knock! I was busy und-"
"Am sorry, Doktor."
"… it's okay but wait inside and torture the hostage while I go and find him, bitte." The Medic's voice was rather angry, and a rustling sound could be heard as he grabbed for his raincoat. Softer he added, "Is there anything I can get you while I'm out?"
"Uh, the strudels are good."
The door creaked a bit as it opened, blending with a soft cooing.
"Archimedes, how did you get up there!? Come down here right now, naughty." A pause. "Ah, what was that again?"
"The strudel, could you maybe bake me one Dok-"
"Not now, Archimedes has something to tell me. Oh, what's that? You are very sorry? Oh no, no. I don't think you're sorry, Archimedes. But I forgive you."
The Heavy shifted his weight from side to side. "Sorry Doktor."