The lights of the theater turned back on, the drowsy audience members startled by its sudden presence. I yawned and stretched my arms far up above my head before slowly rising to my feet. Others around me did the same before filing out of the theater. Some lingered and chatted with their neighbors about the movie, but most were just about ready for bed. I can't blame them; a 10:00 showing was pretty late at night.
Arthur tried to rub the drowsiness from his eyes, but with little success. He, too, yawned and stretched, still dogged with sleepiness. I gave him an amused but pained smile. He would hate me if he knew my thoughts. See, we're the kind of friends who always make fun of each other. Teasing, playful banter, but often followed with a snicker of understanding. When I told him I was bisexual, he gave me a giant hug and thanked me for telling him. We've been making jokes and laughing normally ever since. How disgusted he'd be to know that I'd fallen for him.
"So, what'd you think?" I asked, to clear my mind of the poisonous thoughts. He blinked a few times, still not quite awake. Unlike me, the dude probably dozed off during the movie.
"Hello, Earth to Arthur. Anything in that head? A brain maybe? Even a small one?" This time, he snapped back to attention and looked at me.
"Hm? Sorry, didn't catch that. What did you say?" he asked, rubbing his eyes once more. I chuckled and sinfully noted how adorable he looked when sleepy.
"Well, I was going to ask if you liked the movie. But I'm guessing you didn't catch most of it?" I smirked and nudged him in the arm. He nodded dully after some time.
"Oh, right. It wasn't boring, I swear. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night and it's really late, and, yes."
"Great sentence ender there, Pinocchio."
"Well, it's true!" he argued, cheeks puffed in annoyance. Again, downright adorable.
"Heh, no worries. It's hard to stay awake through a movie when they show it this late at night. Even when it's an action-packed murder mystery," I offered, to quell his displeasure. He nodded again, but with more enthusiasm this time.
I glanced around the theater to find it still half full of stragglers and night-owls. But I knew that once we left, we'd have to say goodbye. I still wanted more time with him, even if it was just platonic, strictly no-homo time. I looked up to the light box in the back of the theater; small, secluded, and unoccupied. Perfect.
"Hey, Arthur, have you ever been in the light box?" He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. Somehow, incredibly endearing.
"The light box? What's that?" he asked. I dutifully pointed to the window in the rear of the theater.
"That's the light box. It's where they control all the lights. House lights, spot lights, disco lights, and any other kind of light you can imagine! Come on, I'll show you!" I grabbed his wrist then dashed towards the entrance. I don't normally grab his wrist when leading him places, but he was definitely still lagging from his nap and I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity. I released his arm once we reached the door and ignored the "employees only" sign as I swung it open. I held it open wide for him and bowed low like a butler.
"Ladies first, my good madam."
"Oh, sod off, you big twat!" he argued, stifling a laugh. I winked at him and he rolled his eyes, but did indeed go in the door first. I creaked the door shut behind us as we walked up the dim steps to the control station.
"And… Voila! The grand controls for all lights in the theater! Are you impressed, young Padawan?" I gestured with both arms towards the command center, right in front of the open window to see into the theater. There was only one small group left in the theater now, much to my deplorable delight.
"Wow, look at all these buttons and levers! I never knew you needed this many controls just for lights," he stated, observing the station. He pressed his stomach to the edge as he peered at all the strange switches up and down the rows, wondering silently what each did. How on earth is it possible for someone to be so adorable while doing something so mundane?
I sighed quietly and allowed a bittersweet smile to slip on my face. Coming up behind him, I reached around his petite frame to demonstrate how to dim and lighten the house lights. I also explained him how the disco lights would work, should the need for a musical disco ever arise.
"Are you sure we should be up here? There was a sign about employees only, right?" he asked, suddenly feeling worried. The theater was now completely empty, leaving just the two of us alone in the tiny light box. I laughed, loud and reverberating.
"That's just so they don't get strangers tampering with the lights. This is some expensive equipment, you know. Can't be too careful," I answered, still positioned behind him. He turned around to face me, possibly admit to my genius, when he stopped and noticed just how close we were. Mere inches apart.
Our breaths, shaky and shallow, mingled in the tiny space between our faces. We looked anywhere but each other's' eyes, both afraid of two entirely different things. I was afraid of losing control, and he was afraid because he didn't know what was happening.
But at last, green met blue and in that instant, I completely lost my resolve. To hell with no-homo, to hell with platonic best friend. I was in love with him, and he was right in front of me.
I reached up a hesitant hand to gently cup his cheek. He didn't move from my touch, so I gently leaned forward, eyes alert for any signs of feedback. I inched ever closer. But in the last instant before our lips met, he squeezed his eyes shut and flinched away from my hand.
I let my hand fall down to my side, and instead rested my forehead atop of his. Swallowing my tears, I sighed and chuckled humorlessly.
"Dude, what's with these scrunched up eyebrows? If you keep doing that, they'll be stuck that way forever. And then you'll look eternally like you've got a unibrow!" I pulled away and took three large steps back, distancing myself as much as possible in the tiny room. He looked at me with pleading eyes, a horrific mixture of panic and chaos swirling in his once perfect emerald pools. I gave him a shaky smile, which was supposed to be reassuring but was the best I could do in the circumstances.
"Come on, we should go." I lead the way back down the stairs, and opened the door for him once more. We walked out of the theater, an uncomfortable silence passing between us.
I so badly wanted to kick myself. I knew he was straight. I knew it! I should never have tried to kiss him. If I haven't scared the hell out of him, which I'd probably done, at the very least now things were going to be incredibly difficult between us. If he ever was willing to look me in the eyes again, all our jokes and lighthearted insults would be so strained and tense.
Finally, we reached the parking lot. I waved goodbye and began to walk away, trying to look as calm as possible. After a few paces, I heard his desperate plea.
"Alfred?"
I stopped, tears pooling in my eyes. I couldn't turn around, that would make him feel bad. I couldn't run away, that would hurt him too. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and waited for him to ask a number of painful questions.
"Were you…going to kiss me? And if you were… why did you stop?"
Ah, yes. Get right down to business. No beating around the bush. I spent a few moments trying to figure out the best way to tell him without sounding like a creeper.
"Tell me. If I did kiss you, what would you do?" Great, answer a question with a question. Wonderful. I'm sure that didn't seem horrible at all. I could hear him shift uncomfortably, and probably crossing his arms over his chest.
"I… I don't know. I mean, I'm straight, but that didn't seem so… wrong, exactly. But I think it would still be strange," he replied after a long time. I sighed. Another might've gotten hope from that statement, but not me. I felt him flinch in my arms; I saw that fear on his face. Maybe he would go on one day to discover he was bisexual or gay, but not for me.
"Then there's your answer."
I stood still a while longer, still wanting to say more but not trusting myself to keep my façade. Any moment I was sure I'd burst into tears. Eventually, I got my overflowing emotions down enough to utter a few final words before disappearing into the night.
"Goodnight, Arthur. And… I'm sorry."
A/N: I know, I know, I promised a Disney crossover. But this was inspired by my real life issues, so I just had to write to vent. And don't worry, this will have a happy ending. (Unlike my life T^T).