"Hello people in the audience. Clearly, you've turned on the television, which means you're not outside, which means YOU'RE A LAZY MAGGOT!" Chef Hatchet yells, standing in front of a brand new jumbo jet.
"Regardless, you've turned on the right channel. You may recognize me from Total Drama, but this is NOT Total Drama. This is The Chase, a new reality show starring 16 duos of complete idiots.
This show is a lot similar to the other race based shows you've seen. Teams racing around the world from one location to the next, last one out gets the boot, you get the idea. But it wouldn't be dramatic without the old twists Total Drama is known for.
Every now and then, contestants will experience cameos, traps, musical numbers, and each other. This is The Chase! Let's meet the teams competing for the gold." The camera stays panned on Chef. "MOVE THE CAMERA! LET'S GO!"
Duo #1: Fallon and Ness (lifelong friends/internet celebs)
Fallon is a Southern man in his mid 30s with spiked brown hair. He has a light brown beard. (Ethnicity: American)
Ness is also in his mid 30s. He has ear length black hair and black glasses. (Ethnicity: American)
"We've been friends since we were in diapers practically. Now here we are today. Both married with children, and still inseparable." Fallon says, with one arms wrapped around Ness, who looks genuinely concerned for his friend, "I love him more than my wife!"
Ness continues,"He said it, not me. Anyway, we spend our time making internet videos, just talking about random stuff. We have a pretty decent fanbase, and with our fan's support, we'd like to make it all the way to the top!"
Duo #2: Tony and Dan (father and son)
Tony is a tall man in his early 40s, with thin black hair He is drinking from a water bottle filled with an unknown liquid. (Ethnicity: American)
Dan, Tony's ten year old son, has short black hair and is wearing all black. He has a miserable expression on his face. (Ethnicity: American)
"My ex-wife thinks I should spend more time with my son. Who is she fooling? I spend plenty of time with Dave." Tony says, drinking from the bottle.
"Dad, it's Dan. And I don't think sitting at the bar while you play pool and drink counts as spend-"
"Quiet, Stan, Daddy's talking. Anyway, I decided to sign up for a reality show, so we can bond, and maybe make some cash too."
Duo #3: Scott and Albertha (brother and sister)
Scott, age 18, has spiky orange hair and freckles. (Ethnicity: Canadian)
Albertha, age 15, has long orange hair and freckles. She is wearing a beige cowboy hat. (Ethnicity: Canadian)
"Remember me? The baddest villain in Total Drama? I'm back, and this time, I will win." Scott says.
"The baddest villain? Really? You got all google eyed over Courtney. Not to mention Fang…."
"You promised never to speak of that! Excuse my sister, Al doesn't understand that sometimes people can be sensitive."
"Well, Scott doesn't understand that being a baby doesn't make you a villain."
Duo #4: Sandy and Franklin (Science Olympiad Champions)
Sandy, age 16, is light skinned with brown hair in a ponytail and glasses. (Ethnicity: Hispanic-Canadian)
Franklin, age 17, is an African American with shaggy brown hair and glasses (Ethnicity: African American-Canadian)
"I was never interested in science until Franklin introduced me to wonderful world of chemistry. Thanks to us, our school has won the past 2 Science Olympiad competitions, going on our third! We are an unstoppable force!" Sandy says, "Science is the future, and without it, we would be reduced to our original primitive state. Franklin, did you want to say a few words?"
Yes, I'm so-" Franklin is cut of by the camera shutting off.
Duo #5: Jordan and Morgan (frenemies)
Jordan, age 21, has long black hair with brown eyes (Ethnicity: American)
Morgan, age 22, has a short blonde bob with bright blue eyes. (Ethnicity: American)
"Jordan and I were best friends in high school. But then one day, she changed. And she took a big rusty knife and stuck it in my back. We haven't been friends since. We're only on this show because Jordan's mom thinks it will be good for our 'tortured relationship'." Morgan explains
"If I recall correctly, YOU were the reason our friendship fell apart. You made a big deal over me dating Denton. He never liked your ugly face." Jordan rebuttals
"Oh no! It is on!" Morgan yells, as she tackles Jordan.
Duo #6: Rae and Patrick (friends with benefits)
Rae, age 19, has long blonde hair with blue highlights and bright baby blue eyes (Ethnicity: Canadian)
Patrick, age 19, has light black hair and bright brown eyes (Ethnicity: Asian-Canadian)
"Patrick and I have been friends for the past 2 years. Most people think that guys and girls can't be friends without there being some kind of romantic entanglement. Well, we've certainly proven them wrong." Rae explains.
"Totally! I mean, we've hooked up from time to time, but there are absolutely no feelings here. Right pal?" Patrick asks, slapping Rae's arm playfully.
"Right dude! We gonna kick some butt in this race. Woohoo!"
Duo #7: Yumi and DJ (animal lovers)
Yumi, age 17, has black hair in two braided pigtails with bright green eyes. (Ethnicity: Canadian)
DJ, age 18, is a tall African American guy with a white hat covering his head. (Ethnicity: Jamaican-Candaian)
"After all the animal trouble I had in World Tour, I went to a support group for people who have hurt animals the way I have. There, I met Yumi. She helped me realize that the animals don't hold a grudge. It made me feel much better."
"I convinced DJ to try out The Chase with me. He was reluctant at first. I would be too, but I told him how super funtastic it would be. So now, when we get home, I have to help his mom cook dinner. It's a fair trade."
Duo #8: Lonnie and Bonnie (twins)
Lonnie, age 15, has short brown hair and brown eyes. (Ethnicity: Australian)
Bonnie, age 15, also has brown hair and brown eyes, but her hair is up in a messy bun. (Ethnicity: Australian)
"Mom says I need to get out of the house. Whatevs, I need to beat the high score on Floppy Frog." Lonnie says.
"Never gonna happen little bro. I've got the current high score. And besides, why spend time on a stupid phone, when there's a whole world to explore?" Bonnie snaps a picture with her camera, "A picture is worth a thousand words."
Duo #9: Greg and Carol (husband and wife)
Greg, age 41, is already balding in the back. He has light brown hair and green eyes (Ethnicity: American)
Carol, age 40, has long bleach blonde hair and blue eyes. (Ethnicity: American)
"Greg and I have been married for 12 years. After 3 children, we couldn't be more in love! We sure know a lot about stress, so Greg thought this competition would be a good idea. Old age isn't going to catch up to us now!"
"Carol thought I was going through a mid life crisis, wanting to join this show out of the blue. But I thought it would be fun. And with the prize, we can send our children to school, and maybe take a little vacation. I'm thinking Vegas!"
"Greg, you know how I feel about Vegas. The women….."
Duo #10: Shay and Hope (on-off girlfriends)
Shay, age 24, has a short black bob with green eyes (Ethnicity: Canadian-American)
Hope, age 23, has long pink hair with baby blue eyes (Ethnicity: Canadian-American)
"I met Hope in high school, she was my best friend, and my first crush. We've been dating on and off since graduation. We've dated other people, but we always find our way back to each other."
"We're back together at the moment, but we always have these little fights that tear us apart...temporarily of course. I just hope this competition is a good trust builder for us."
"We've never had trust problems. We're the perfect couple, Hope."
"I'm not saying we do, Shay. I'm just speaking hypothetically."
Duo #11: Beardo and Slim (DJs)
Beardo, age 18, is a tall African American with a brown afro (Ethnicity: Canadian)
Slim, age 18, has long black hair, half of it shaved. (Ethnicity: Mexican-Canadian)
"I met Beardo at a teen club last year. He doesn't say much, but his actions speak louder. He's been a great friend, and a rocking DJ. With him by my side, I hope to be the next Skilletz or Dezz, two of the greatest musicians of our , B?" Slim asks
Beardo just nods in agreement
Duo #12: April and Sugar (mother/daughter pageant stars)
April, age 45, has long blonde hair has blue eyes (Ethnicity: Canadian)
Sugar, age 18, has poofed blond hair and bright blue eyes (Ethnicity: Canadian)
"My Sugar and I have been winning pageants for years. This competition should be no different!"
"Obviously we'll win because we're the smartest, prettiest, and most talented pair these dimwits will ever see. My ma and I are definitely the team to beat. Ain't no one gonna stop us!"
Duo #13: Bruno and Victor (hockey greats)
Bruno, age 36, has curly brown hair and brown eyes (Ethnicity: French-Canadian)
Victor, age 40, has bright red hair, green eyes, and freckles (Ethnicity: French-Canadian)
"A few years ago, Victor and I were the greatest hockey players the Maple Leafs have ever seen. Until one day, there was a brawl and we both got pretty beat up. We decided to retire and move to Nova Scotia."
"But now that we're feeling better, we've decided to continue our legacy by winning The Chase! We hope we don't disappoint the Brutor nation! That's what we call our fans. Get it? It's Bruno and Victor put together!"
"Victor, I told you. If you keep calling us that, people are gonna start writing online romance stories about us like those boys in that British boy band."
Duo #14: Breckin and Isis (reality show icons)
Breckin, age 25, has orange hair and brown eyes (Ethnicity: Russian)
Isis, age 23, has long black hair and green eyes (Ethnicity: Russian)
"We've competed in a few other reality shows before The Chase. Breckin, elaborate."
"Little Sister:Russia, Russia's Got Skills, Pancake Wars, and Endurance. We've never won any of them, but we have a chance now."
"With my intelligence, and Breckin's…..loyalty, we will deem victorious!"
Duo #15: Veronica and Molly (mother and daughter)
Veronica, age 37, has long blonde hair and green eyes (Ethnicity: American)
Molly, age 12, has blond pigtails and green eyes (Ethnicity: American)
"My mom and I do everything together. When we saw the commerical for The Chase, I begged her to enter."
"Molly's father died 7 years ago, so I'm all she has. We're more like best friends or even sisters than mother and daughter. I even taught her how to cross stitch!"
"It's sooo boring, but as long as I'm doing it with my mom, I don't mind too much."
Duo #16: Louis and Ricky (boyfriends)
Louis, age 19, has curly brown hair and two different color eyes, one brown and one green. (Ethnicity: British)
Ricky, age 20, has spiky black hair and blue eyes. (Ethnicity: British)
"One day, Louis and I were watching Endurance and we saw two boyfriends competing, so it inspired us to sign up for The Chase. We want to be role models for all the young people out there who feel like they can't accomplish anything because they're gay."
"Don't let the man get you down! Ricky and I don't care if we win or lose, we're just in it for the experiences. It sounds like a lot of fun!"
"There you go, the 16 teams who think they can win The Chase, but only one can make it to the end and win that million dollar prize" says Chef Hatchet, "On the next episode of The Chase, our teams will travel to one of the biggest malls in the world to begin a mad scramble for safety. Who will get lost? And who will piss of the boss? Find out when The Chase begins!
TURN OFF THE CAMERA! WE'RE DONE FOR THE DAY! I NEED A DRINK."
A/N: And The Chase is on! Well...almost. I picked the returning Total Drama vets based on who would work in an acceptible duo. And I really wanna fix DJ (I hate the way the made his character after TDA). And I included ethnicities, so we have a little diversity in the cast. These characters all have a special place in my heart, and I hope you'll love them as much as I do.
In the Total Drama universe, when they reference a celebrity or game, they use a different name. Slim references Skrillex and Zedd, Lonnie references Flappy Bird, and Breckin and Ricky mention Survivior. Breckin also mentions Big Brother, America's Got Talent, and Cupcake Wars.
Some of the duos are based off different characters. Fallon and Ness are based of Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning. Tony and Dan are slightly based of Randy and Stan Marsh from South Park. And, as Sugar is a parody of Honey Boo Boo, it's only appropriate that her mother be a parody of Mama June.
All that referencing aside, I hope you all enjoy the story ad join us next time when we travel to our first location, Mall of America (the one place I've always wanted to go)!
Favorite, follow, and review!
-Mads (McRibbles)