JJ stood outside the NICU, tears rolling down her face. Her husband put his arms around her. "I miss her," she sobbed, leaning against him.
"I miss her too," he said beginning to cry as well. They were both quiet as they remembered the last few days.
JJ's water had broken at noon on Sunday. She drove herself to the hospital where she left no less than ten voice mails on Spencer's cell phone. He was still in rural Montana on a case as JJ wasn't due for nearly a month. She was in labor all night long and Spencer still hadn't come home. At two o'clock the next morning she gave birth to a girl. Spencer arrived and hour later.
JJ was sleeping peacefully when Spencer burst into her room. She awoke suddenly and immediately started crying when she saw him. He crossed the room in one large bound. He took her into his arms and she sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, baby," he kept saying. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."
A few minutes later she stopped crying and they were quiet. "Hey," Spencer said suddenly, breaking the silence, "where's the baby?"
JJ fought hard not to start crying again. "Something went wrong, Spencer," she explained quietly, "She's very sick. She's in the NICU. I was bleeding a lot, so they had to operate. I can't have anymore kids," a single tear slid town her cheek as she finished.
"I'm sorry, JJ. I wish I could've been here for you. I'm so so sorry." Spencer apologized, the guilty look on his face tearing JJ's heart into pieces.
"Is one going to be enough?" she asked biting her lip nervously.
"Of course it is"
"Ok…good." JJ said, relieved. "Do you want to go meet your daughter?" she questioned, shy all of a sudden.
"Let's go," he replied smiling broadly.
JJ took his hand and led him to the NICU. She led him inside and weaved through the rows of incubators until she stopped at one. A tiny, sick looking baby all hooked up to tubes and wires lay inside. "She's beautiful," Spencer murmured, "just like her mother. What's her name?"
"She doesn't have one. I was waiting for you so we could name her together." JJ said.
"You mean my daughter doesn't have a name? We're going to have to change that, don't you think?"
"Yeah," JJ smiled.
"I was thinking we could name her Amy, after your baby sister who died," Spencer suggested quietly.
"Oh, Spencer! Really? That would mean so much to me!"
JJ lit up when he suggested that, and so he knew that his daughter was going to be named Amy. Besides, he thought it was a very cute name. "Amy it is," he said, receiving the hug his wife offered. "What about a middle name?"
JJ thought for a moment. "What about Elizabeth?"
"Amy Elizabeth Reid," Spencer said, "I like it." Turing to his sick daughter he said, "Welcome to the world Amy. I love you so much, and so does your mom, so you'd better get well so we can take you home with us." Tears pricked JJ's eyes, seeing her husband interact with their daughter for the first time. "Come on, honey, you should probably get back to bed," Spencer told her.
"Alright," she agreed reluctantly, not wanting to leave her baby. "Goodnight, Amy, I love you!"
Over the next 3 days JJ and Spencer stayed at the hospital, visiting their daughter every change they got. She didn't seem to be improving, but the young couple never lost hope.
On Thursday night JJ and Spencer were both sleeping, JJ in her hospital bed, her husband in a chair next to her when a nurse rushed in. "Mr. And Mrs. Reid," she said in a rush, "I'm so sorry, but you're daughter is dying. There's nothing we can do. You might want to come with me."
In shock, both of them hurried after the plump nurse to the NICU. "Her heart is failing," the doctor informed them, "I'm so sorry. You may hold her if you'd like."
Spencer gestured to his wife, telling her to go ahead. "No," she said flatly, "you go first.
Gingerly Spencer lifted his dying daughter out of the incubator and held her close. "I love you, Amy. Don't leave us!" he pleaded. After several moments he handed her to her mother. Not a minute after he did so, the fragile little child drew her last breath.
"I can take her now." The doctor offered, seeing that she was dead.
"No," JJ said," I want to hold my baby."
"Honey-" Spencer began.
"NO!" JJ screamed, "You can't take her away from me!"
"Ok," the doctor said quietly, "Take as long as you need."
It was nearly an hour before JJ handed the limp body of her daughter off to the young doctor.
Spencer pulled her into his arms, expecting her to burst into tears, but she didn't. As if in a trance, she simple buried her face into his shoulder and held onto him for dear life.