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A/N Previously on Criminal Minds: Floyd messed with Reid's head in Scarecrow. THIS is what happened next.

Please read Scarecrow first or you will not understand what is going on. Thank you !!!

Criminal Minds isn't mine: all original characters belong to PanicButton.

Where there is love there is life – Mahatma Ghandi

He looked up from the bottomless pit of despair and cried out. There was nothing left. He felt empty and devoid of all he knew he should be. He reached out blindly and felt fingers brush his own and desperately he grabbed and held. The other hand wound its fingers around his and held him there with a strong grasp with calloused hands.

His soul was screaming. The empty place he had inside was filling with something unfamiliar and painful. With lust and hate. Something so unknown he thought it was death. The hand suddenly let go. No, where was it? He reached out feeling for the fingers which had lightly brushed his but they had gone. He curled up foetal on the floor and waited for the end.

…….

Hotch had called out for Reid and when he got no answer he had gone to see what he was doing. Always in the back of his mind was the fear of drugs and the fear of Reid's mental health. He knocked gently on the door of the room Reid was staying in at Hotch's house but got no reply. Slowly and aware that Spencer might be sleeping or in the tub he turned the handle and entered the room. No Reid. The bathroom door was swung wide open. No sound of Reid there either. He called out again.

"Spencer?"

Silence.

A knot of fear wrapped itself around Aarons gut as he walked slowly on legs which would hardly move towards the bathroom. Nothing. Thank god nothing. He noted the mirror on the bathroom cabinet was covered in finger prints and smears and he frowned.

"Spencer?" He was calling louder now and he grabbed the phone from next to the bed and made a call.

It rang a few times before a voice answered.

"He's gone – I don't know, I just came to his room to see if he was OK - he isn't in the house – I don't know Jason"

Fear.

Why would he go without saying anything?

"I will call his cell – yes I will do it now from mine" – pause – breathing too heavily, this was fear. "Straight to answer-phone – I will call his house – Oh."

And he put the phone down. Not answering his phone or his cell. Where the hell had he gone? For an innocent walk? For somewhere quiet to kill him self? To get drugs? Too many things it could be. Too many things Hotch dreaded it could be. He scribbled a note and left it on the hall way table.

Spencer,

I have gone looking for you. If you come back here call me – Aaron

And he left the house to drive around known areas to find Reid. Gideon was going to his apartment.

…………

Floyd sat back on his bed and smiled at the young man laying on the floor outside his cell. He could hear doors opening and footsteps running to his aid. He watched as the guards tried to pull Reid to his feet, but he was not going to help them there. They half dragged him away. Glancing over at the man sitting on his bed who gave a little shrug and licked his lips.

………

When Reid opened his eyes he was laying on a cot in a small room somewhere. He had no idea where he was or why. He tried to sit up but hands held his shoulders and pushed him back down again.

"Just relax Dr Reid."

"Where am I?"

"We are just looking after you until your friend gets here."

He tried to sit up again but again was forced back down.

"Friend? Which friend?" And he pushed the insistent hands off him. "Don't touch me." He hissed.

"Agent Hotchner is coming to get you."

Reid looked puzzled. "He's not my friend. Now if you will just let me go."

"He is your boss though and it is he we called and he who is coming to get you." The man's eyes seemed to almost glow with some kind of hatred.

"Let me GO!" and Reid pushed the man away and walked towards the door.

"There will of course be an investigation. People will want to know what happened."

Reid spun around. "What happened where?"

"With you and Flanders. It's on the monitor. We will find out what he did."

"Nothing happened with me and Flanders. What the hell are you talking about?" He scowled.

The guard stood and looked at Reid. "You had some kind of seizure Dr Reid. It will be investigated. If Flanders can be implicated he will be."

"Flanders didn't touch me. Why can't you mind your own business? Kindly tell Agent Hotchner I couldn't wait for him." He turned to see Hotch standing in the doorway.

"Reid with me please." He commanded.

Reid did something unknown and swore like a trooper at his boss and pushed his way past and down the corridor.

Once outside the building Hotch caught up with Reid and took him by the arm. "Spencer, what's wrong. What happened?"

"Get off me. Don't touch me and don't call me Spencer."

Aaron moved his hand off Reid like he had been burnt.

"You poke and pry and mess with me until I don't know what's going on anymore. I have no life of my own. I need my space Agent Hotchner. Please respect me and back the hell off."

"Reid…………."

"NO! no Agent Hotchner, get out of my life get out of me. Stop manipulating and pushing me. You and Gideon the same. Push push push. I have had it up to here" Indicating forehead with hand, "with your interfering and meddling. I had no childhood, and now you are taking my adulthood from me too. You won't do this to me. Get away from me!" Reid was shouting and spitting in anger.

"Stop acting like a child and I will stop treating you like one. Get in the car now. We need to talk." Aaron was beside himself over what Reid was saying but also could feel something deeper wrong. They had said he had a seizure. This could simply be the after effects of that.

"We can talk here. What is it you want to say? What is it that you can't say in public Agent Hotchner?"

"Reid, give me your badge and gun. Until your actions have been fully investigated I don't think it wise you carry."

Reid took his badge and threw it at Hotch. "Fine! Have it…I was coerced to join the BAU anyway. Funnily enough chasing unsubs and looking at ripped up bodies was not the job I had been considering."

Aaron was unshaken by this diatribe and said "Your gun Reid."

Reid ignored him and started to walk away. "Reid. Now, your gun please."

Gideon pulled up in this car and jumped out while the engine was still running. Hotch looked at Jason and shrugged. "I don't know what's going on." Then to Reid he repeated. "Spencer your gun please."

Reid's gun was out and pointing at Hotch at a speed neither man realised the young agent possessed. "I told you not to call me that. I am NOT your little play thing, stop treating me like one!"

His hands started to shake as he pointed it at his friend and boss. He could feel tears pooling in his eyes ready to explode down his face but his mouth and body wouldn't do what his brain was telling him to do. 'please god take this weapon out of my hands. Help me someone.' He tried to unwind his fingers from around the gun and looked pleadingly at Gideon. 'can't you see this isn't me? Pull me back Jason. I am lost.' And the gun dropped from his fingers to the ground.

Jason was at Reid's side in a flash and kicked the gun over to Hotch. "Spencer? What's going on?"

'help me jason.'

And a deep darkness started to drift over his mind and soul again.

"Pull me back." It was barely a whisper. Just mutterings behind his lips, but Jason heard it. Gideon gave Hotch a worried look who shook his head slowly in reply.

"Spencer, will you get in my car please. Let's go for a ride and a coffee." Jason asked gently.

Reid nodded stiffly and walked slowly to the car, glancing back at Aarons face watching him. Were his eyes beginning to glow? Was there something wrong with his face? Was that really Hotch? Without being able to stop what he was doing he walked away from Jason's car and over to Hotch 'someone stop me!' and spat in his face.

………………

A/N that is part one. Shall I carry on? Let me know plz!!! Thank you :c)