A/N: Because even Yuuji deserves a fic where he's the center of attention for once, dammit.

((cover image by Namaeekaki on tumblr! please check out their amazing Assassination Classroom artwork))

Yuuji Norita is that one guy who developed a crush on Nagisa during the crossdressing episode/chapter in the summer island arc. That rich kid with the NY hat. I dunno, I thought he had potential. And so here we are.

Inspired by this convo-

purple-petrichor: Although if they can't get married in Japan I guess it would be basically Yuuji Sugar Daddying the both of them into trophy-husband-dom
Green: Yuuji Sugar Daddy, pfft
purple-petrichor: hE WOULD TRY
purple-petrichor: He'd be terrible at it
purple-petrichor: He already doesn't like the idea of girls just being interested in him for his money, so I don't think he'd do it within canon. But as a funny AU why not
Green: He doesn't like being the son of X either, yet he still uses that
purple-petrichor: Maehara immediately attaches himself to Yuuji. Because of his dream of being a Sugar Baby.
Green: Isogai also attaches himself to Yuuji, because money. Yuuji basically ends up being the center of a male harem
purple-petrichor: WELL SHIT

Sugar daddy. Noun: A wealthy, often older man who gifts money and luxury goods to women in return for their company and displays of affection. For example, many of the CEOs and established landowners often seen by Yuuji at his family's annual parties. Those rotund old geezers, striding around from place to place while being fawned over by a pack of groupies a fraction of their own age. Always a "flower in each hand", they would say with a wink. An experience that never failed to leave a bad taste in Yuuji's mouth.

Sugar baby. Noun: A person, usually a woman, who accepts financial and material favors from a benefactor in exchange for providing their companionship. In other words, the type of women Yuuji had seen gossiping on couches during ritzy galas, cuddling up to their travel partner inside of a private jet, or hanging off of people's arms. Maybe even his father's, on the odd occasion. Similar in nature to hiring schoolgirls for their time and affection, a phenomenon increasingly in the news despite societal warnings and widespread parental fear against it. A despicable practice.

Exactly the kind of adults that Yuuji despised.

And certainly not one he would ever want to become.

This was a first.

Yuuji stared at the person sitting on the other side of the table, as the light-haired boy wolfed down his next portion of food.

"...and so like," his visitor said between gulps of pancake. "I told them that living this kind of lifestyle was a totally legitimate option, y'know? That it requires tons of different skills, things that would be admired in other jobs. I can't help it if I'm a person who prefers the finer side of life. And that if I want to do it, it'd be my choice, y'know, so I would really appreciate their support-"

"Uh-huh," Yuuji said, quietly examining the person before him. He looked to be around the same age as Yuuji, wearing a cream-colored sweater over what must have been some kind of school uniform. He had keen, light brown eyes, and features that Yuuji stubbornly refused to call handsome. A charismatic air rolled off of every movement that he made. His hair was worn long for a guy, and pale enough to look almost orange under the overhead lamp. Yuuji was at least 80 percent sure it was dyed.

It had only been a few minutes after Yuuji arrived at this café, in the middle of his food-blogging rounds, when suddenly this guy had come over and just sat down like he owned the place. Before Yuuji knew it, he had managed to swindle Yuuji out of a small meal and a drink. The whole thing had happened so smoothly that for a moment Yuuji had almost not sensed the boy was there, despite the newcomer adding himself to the seat directly across from him. Weird. Like some sort of secret ninja technique.

"So yeah, we're really sorry about what happened back there at the Fall Festival. Cool website, by the way." The boy swiped his fork around his plate. Maehara, he had said his name was. "Honestly, if we had known you were a famous food blogger, we would have tried to entertain you more."

"A little late for that," Yuuji responded gruffly.

Maehara shrugged, unaffected. "Anyway, after that happened, a few of us got together and talked, and all that discussion started to give me an idea. Don't worry though, I'm here on my own."

He took a long, indulgent sip of his drink. "I'd like to make you an offer."

Yuuji raised an eyebrow. What kind of offer? Mentally, so many refusals were already lining up on the tip of his tongue. He was used to this—random people appearing out of the blue, a pack of crazed fans approaching his father, paparazzi who had no understanding of privacy and who seemed to think that celebrities owed them something—so if this joker thought that he could even amount to a blip on Yuuji's radar, he was about to be sorely disappointed.

"Dating," said Maehara bluntly. "I'll go on dates with you. In exchange for a little financial something-something."

Yuuji blinked. There was no way this guy had just said what he thought this guy said. "Excuse me?"

"It's simple. I'll offer you my time, company, whatever. And you…sweeten the deal." Maehara made a stealthy hand symbol for 'money' with his thumb and forefinger under the table. "An equal exchange, see? We both have something that the other needs."

"Uh huh," Yuuji said after a long pause, allowing his tone to turn slightly acidic. "And why would you be doing this?"

"Because you're rich," came Maehara's breezy reply. Then he frowned. "Oh wait, I'm supposed to make you feel cared for and stuff. Because 'I like you', and 'I think that you're interesting'!"

Ugh. The fake way he batted his eyelashes made Yuuji want to throw up.

"Get out of my sight."

"C'mon, man, it'll be fun," cajoled Maehara, smiling in a manner that could make a rose blush. "I promise you, I know how to charm tons of women- uh, people in general. A man can't be that different. I'm fluent in pick-up line lingo and familiar with over two dozen different methods of compliments. Also, I've been in the dating game for years now, so I've got plenty of experience-"

"No."

"Aww, you're not listening to me. It's a win-win, alright? We can keep it on the down-low. All the comfort you could ever want, with none of those annoying strings attached."

"Listen," Yuuji finally snapped. "I don't know what you think you're getting at here. I'm not so stupid that I'd just let anyone mooch off of me. That's not what I want. And I don't need what you're…'offering'." He snorted. "My ego's not so fragile as to need some kind of a human prop to back it up. Much less somebody like you."

"Suit yourself," replied Maehara, fending off Yuuji's barbs with a lighthearted air. He finished his drink with one last slurp. "But still, after everything that happened between you and our class, it just didn't seem right to leave you hanging like that. Some of us thought you deserved a little more."

"Anyway, I gotta go." With that, Maehara stood, as casually as if they had just been discussing the day's schoolwork. He patted Yuuji's shoulder as he passed. "Later, doll-face."

"Wh... D-doll..? Hey!" Yuuji protested, turning to catch sight of Maehara's back. Without even looking over his shoulder, Maehara shot a one-handed finger-gun back towards the table.

Yuuji stared after him, speechless. What the hell? What had that all been about? Confused and dazed thoughts swirled inside of his head as Yuuji's gaze gradually returned down to the table. There, two small pieces of paper lay waiting.

Damn it. That guy had even managed to skip out on the bill! Yuuji scoffed, fuming for a moment like a miniature volcano. Well, there was no helping it. Maybe Yuuji would cover it. Just this once.

Honestly, that guy… An image of Maehara's back flashed through Yuuji's mind again, tall and bright beneath the overhead light. Lost in thought, Yuuji's hand stilled on top of the wooden table. He had never really had a guy flirt with him before.

...No. He wasn't. No way. He wasn't seriously considering this?

Ignoring how the volcanic rush of anger had turned into a slight blush on his cheeks, Yuuji grabbed the papers in front of him and went to pay the bill.

"It's an honor to finally meet you, Mr. Norita!" Black hair fell like a curtain in front of the boy's face as he bowed. "Thank you so much for taking the time to come see me today."

"Uh… Don't mention it." Yuuji stared at the newcomer. Well, this wasn't what he had expected.

Yuuji didn't know what he had been picturing, but for some reason it hadn't been this. Maehara had mentioned that it wouldn't be him showing up today, but rather, a close friend. And yet this "Isogai" person couldn't have been more different. He appeared to be about as tall as Yuuji himself, maybe a little bit more. Black hair reached down to his ears, ending in distinctive spikes. His gaze was calm and alert.

"I'm so glad to have the chance to see you in person. I heard that you were the one who helped us out with the food stall last term?" Isogai continued. "The whole class appreciated all the good work you put in on our behalf. I look forward to this chance to get to know each other better!"

Yuuji nodded. "Uh-huh." On the inside, Yuuji struggled hard to keep his walls up. But he could feel himself failing.

He had to admit, this guy didn't really fit the image of 'desperate gold-digger' that Yuuji had built up inside his head. By now, Yuuji had developed razor-sharp instincts for whether a person was one of those people—fellow kids who only saw him as a piggy bank, girls who would approach him with glittering eyes and coy smiles, simpering men in suits who would talk to Yuuji as if he were a stand-in for his father, so-called friends who only associated with him as a way to get through to his wallet. Once anyone fit that type, Yuuji usually dumped them at the first opportunity.

But when this guy looked at Yuuji, his soft brown eyes held nothing but warmth.

Isogai held out a hand. "May I take your coat? Your hat?" he offered. His gaze pointed to the cap that was always on Yuuji's head. Oh, that's right. They were in the front reception of the restaurant, right near the coatroom, after all.

Yuuji took off his ever-present baseball cap and held it by the brim. "No thanks." He shook his head to refuse, though gently enough to show that he still appreciated the gesture. "Actually, I'd prefer to keep this with me, if you don't mind."

Isogai nodded, taking back his hand in one graceful arc. "Certainly, sir."

The two of them made their way into the dining room. Despite himself, Yuuji couldn't help but be drawn in by the tiniest of gestures Isogai made. He had a casual air to him, and an easy affability, making jokes with a self-deprecating sense of humor, one arm stretched out as if to show Yuuji to his seat. When he looked back at Yuuji, his smile was its own flash of charm. "This way then, if you please."

Huh. What a man, Yuuji thought, blinking in surprise. Isogai seemed so modest and nice, it reminded Yuuji of the kind of person that the girls in Yuuji's class would squeal over as an 'ikemen'.

When they came to their reserved table, Isogai waited patiently by Yuuji's chair. Once Yuuji approached, he watched as Isogai deftly pulled out his chair for him, like a gentleman. What a man.

It was even in the little things, like how Isogai rested his arms with both elbows off the table, and neatly unfolded the cloth napkin before placing it in his lap. Somehow, this guy had knowledge of etiquette on a level that even Yuuji could appreciate. What a man.

Yuuji tore his eyes away for a moment and stubbornly pretended to arrange his silverware. Isogai was so good, so natural at this whole being-charming business, that it almost made Yuuji want to hate him as a fellow man. But even so, somehow Yuuji couldn't bring himself to complain. There was a certain feeling that stirred within his heart, like a weird mix of jealousy and...maybe admiration? Yuuji mentally slapped himself to get back to reality.

He cleared his throat. "So, uh. What did you say your name was, again? You're part of Class E too, right?"

"Hm? Oh, pardon. My name is Isogai Yuuma." Isogai gave another little bow. "And yes, I'm their classmate. Again, thanks for being so flexible about our meeting tonight."

"No problem," Yuuji muttered.

They ordered, Yuuji choosing an expensive steak and Isogai going with a more moderate salad. Yuuji noted the decision silently. So, this guy wasn't willing to completely over-run his host's credit cards on the first date. Good. He appreciated that.

"So, Yuuma-kun? What should I call you?" asked Yuuji again, this time with more confidence. He was in his element now. The glint of polished silverware, plush velvet seats, soft classical music playing in the background…places like these felt as natural as a baby's cradle for him. Showing off would be a cakewalk from here on out.

"Uh. Y-you can call me whatever you'd like…" Isogai replied, a small blush visible on his cheeks in the low restaurant light.

A silence grew. Hm. This was awkward, Yuuji thought. What should he do? Crack a joke? That usually got the girls to like him.

"Alrighty. So, Isogai," he began. "That's some spectacular fashion sense you've got there. When were you going to tell me you got attacked by a pack of wolves while on the way?" He pointed. "Your pockets don't look like they're fully, well… there."

Isogai turned to glance behind himself. It was true—the pants he had worn today appeared to be normal black dress slacks, with the exception of missing their back pockets. Only a few torn-off threads and bare seams showed where the lining remained.

"Haha, I guess it does look a bit silly," Isogai admitted. "They're from the thrift shop, so." He gave a shrug. "I guess they just came like this."

"Thrift shop? You're kidding me," Yuuji said, the curiosity in his tone betraying the fact that he had never gone to a thrift store in his life. Honestly, with the way Isogai wore those pants, Yuuji had just assumed it was an up-and-coming wave of fashion. He had been about to run home and instruct the tailors to make him a few pieces in the exact same style. Huh.

Yuuji chuckled, relaxing back into his seat as he lifted the glass of beer he had managed to order. "S'matter, you can't afford the whole pants?"

Isogai looked away for a second. "You could say that."

"Oh. Wait, really?"

"I'm kind of used to things like this. It's all thrift stores and bargain-aisle groceries for my family, I'm afraid." Isogai gave an embarrassed laugh. "There's not much helping it when you're poor."

"Poor? Oh. Uh, I see," said Yuuji, feeling incredibly dumb for a moment. He never knew what to say in situations like these. What should he do? What could a rich kid like him, who was just casually taking someone out to an expensive restaurant, ever say or do that wouldn't come off as patronizing? "That… must be tough?"

Isogai waved his hands in denial, as if he regretted saying what he did. "Uh, it's nothing major! Really. Um." Isogai glanced away again. "Well, they say it's bad manners to bring this up on the first meeting, but…"

"It's my mother," he said, recovering enough to look at Yuuji across the table. "She's...sick."

"Sick," Yuuji repeated. "Like, pretty bad?"

Isogai's gaze fell. Somewhere along the line, his expression had darkened like the oncoming of a storm cloud. "I'm afraid so."

"Oh." Yuuji felt his brow knit in concern. "Oh wow, that sucks. Like, major sucks. I'm so sorry, could I… Uh, do you at least have someone to look after you at home, then?"

Isogai smiled in a way that was too bright for someone in his situation. "Not really. It's just me and my siblings. And I'm not gonna lie, it does get a bit tough sometimes. But we all do our best, and we still have each other. So, if you ask me, that's enough."

Somehow, a lump had found its way into Yuuji's throat. Dammit. Watching this guy be such a gentleman hurt the place where Yuuji's shriveled, spoiled black heart should be.

"It's kind of funny though," Isogai mentioned with a self-conscious laugh. "Because of that, I've ended up having to take on a lot of part-time jobs."

"No foolin'?"

"Yeah." Isogai cast a glance around. A nostalgic smile came to his face. "It's a nice restaurant, isn't it? Although if you ask me, the one on Takematsu street is a little quieter. This one's close to the station, so it gets a bit more of the rowdy clientele late at night."

"Right? That's exactly what I noticed too," Yuuji said, latching with gusto onto the new topic. "This place is good on mood-lighting and ambiance. But sometimes the location can work against it. You know, I still do the food blog thing, and I've been wondering how the other joints in this area handle that issue. A restaurant's food might be good, but when things are hard on the staff, it makes it difficult for anything else to be top-notch. People who work in this kind of place would know, I guess."

Isogai's expression brightened. "Yes! Actually, I used to work as a server…"

As natural as two rivers joining together, the two of them got to talking. The conversation meandered through chatting about eatery preferences, the delicate balance of food quality versus service quality, and what made for the best kind of experience, Isogai offering thoughts from a server's perspective. They also conferred about what other restaurants in this area were their favorites and why. Their food arrived in the meantime, the both of them hardly pausing to acknowledge it. Bites of steak and salad disappeared in-between easy jokes and the excited waving of forks.

Soon they had talked so much, Yuuji even began to feel himself liking this person just a bit.

When their meal was over, Isogai placed a satisfied hand on his stomach. "Whew," he sighed, wiping his mouth with a napkin deftly folded to show off its crisp corners. "That was delicious. How was yours?"

"Good," Yuuji replied, the word coming out almost a mumble. Some rather distracting thoughts had come to mind that he was struggling to ignore.

Now that the night's event was drawing to a close, a certain guilt started to itch beneath Yuuji's skin. The words that Isogai had said before stuck inside of his brain. Isogai had mentioned that his family was struggling. And in that case, since Yuuji was rich, he should help out, right? That would only be the right thing to do. But he had heard so much stuff about that from his father and others. Things like how nothing was free, and that just giving things away to people encouraged bad work ethic, and that no good could come from thing like that.

…Ah, screw it. From talking with Isogai, and from Yuuji's own personal powers of observation, Yuuji could tell that he wasn't a bad person. From the sound of it, Isogai was working hard and doing his part pulling a lot of weight for society. Plus, if his mother really was sick, that must be an issue for a family with young kids. And it wasn't like he was doing this for nothing, Yuuji reasoned. Isogai had spent all this time and effort in order to meet with him, after all. And they had shared such delightful dinner conversation, too.

When the bill came, Yuuji swiped it off the table before Isogai could see. He signaled to the waitress, handing off one of his credit cards and paying for the whole thing in a swift succession of movements. Isogai's face went slack with shock. He opened his mouth, but then quietly closed it again.

"Oh," he muttered. "Um, are you really okay with getting all of that? I don't mind paying for my own half, the first time-"

"It's fine. Don't underestimate me," Yuuji replied.

"Here," added Yuuji after a few moments. He plucked a few bills out of his wallet and slipped them to Isogai across the table. "Get yourself some pants with real pockets."

Isogai eyes flew wide as their dinner plates from earlier. He snatched the money off the table before it could attract the attention of other people around them. "Oh wow, you really don't have to… Woah wait, this is way too much!" He exclaimed once he flipped through the bills. From Yuuji's seat though, he noticed the boy's fingers trembling, in the way that desperate people always did when holding onto actual funds for once.

"Like I said, it's fine," Yuuji said, looking off to the side like all the cool guys did in movies. He nodded once, as if signaling for Isogai to keep it quiet. "The little extra's for your mother."

Isogai sat there for a moment, speechless. Then, a grin wide and bright as the sun broke across his face. "Thank you so much, sir! This… this… wow, I can't even tell you what this means to me. I promise that I'll put the patronage to good use."

Yuuji waved him off. "It's fine, it's fine," he said. "Just let me know when you're next working over at the butler café. I'd love to try some of that dark chocolate gateau you were talking about."

"Of course, of course sir," Isogai said, making multiple little bows from his seat. Yuuji hid a chuckle. He should really tell him to stop doing that.

When Isogai next looked up, his eyes were shining. "Well then, may I walk you to the door?"

"I can take care of myself, thanks-" Yuuji started. But when Isogai leapt up from his chair, clearing the way, somehow Yuuji couldn't find it within himself to refuse.

They left the restaurant, Isogai giving yet another deep bow at the door. After a few more pleasantries, the two of them said farewell, Isogai heading on home, moving at a quick pace due to the money in his pocket.

Meanwhile, Yuuji turned and headed back alone. As Yuuji walked off into the evening glow, he couldn't help but give a small smile while staring off into space. Unconsciously, a satisfied sigh escaped him as he thought back on the evening. Wow, that had been an upstanding guy.

Without thinking, Yuuji's hand snuck back towards his wallet. He would do anything to experience that charm again...

Yuuji blinked. "What the hell?"

The new boy stared back. He was a good bit shorter than Yuuji, with white hair that looked ragged and chopped, swirled in front like a pinwheel. A pale lavender bandana wrapped in—was that netting?—circled his head. His eyes were like two cold chips of amber. Although the lines of his cheeks were soft, there was a tension somewhere deep within, as if the boy carried with him too much for his age. He was dressed warm, with a short wrap-like fur scarf around his neck for the weather.

"What the hell yourself," he said. His stoic expression never changed. "My name's Itona Horibe. Good to meet you."

Yuuji automatically returned the little bow that Itona gave, a puzzled expression twisting deep into his face all the while.

"Alright, so… You're the one for today?" Yuuji winced at the way that sounded. Yikes, there certainly could have been better words coming out of his mouth.

"Yup," replied Itona. "I'm only doing this due to what the others were talking about, to be honest. I don't really like you, but I am interested in going out for food with you. Feed me good ramen and my affection points will double."

Affection points? Yuuji's thoughts faltered in disbelief for a moment. What was this, a dating sim? Did this guy really think today's meeting was some kind of hackneyed scenario, where relationships could be reduced to mere routine, and personality-types played out like predictable moves on a checkerboard? Although… He eyed Itona suspiciously. In that case, would that make this guy the token tsundere?

A burst of determination rose in Yuuji's heart. Well, what the hell. As a prime purveyor of such games, if there was one thing Yuuji knew, it was how to raise affection points. That meant gifts, along with regular dates. A sure strategy!

"Okay," Yuuji said, confident. He stepped forward as if to lead the way. "Let's go to a good place nearby, then. What's your favorite kind of food?"

Itona gave a dull blink. "Guess."

Yuuji grit his teeth. Okay. So that was how this guy wanted to play. Yuuji could practically imagine a screen with multiple option icons appearing in the air in front of him. In order to raise the person's affection points, one had to be careful to select the right option. Furtively, he scanned Itona's face and body language for any hint of a clue. A certain stiffness in the shoulders, yet a spark of youthful vigor still remaining, along with a stare reminiscent of a cold, solitary soul. "Ramen?"

"...Good guess." Itona nodded in approval. "Plus-one affection point."

Yes! That was the first win for Player Yuuji.

"Alright then." Yuuji beckoned Itona onward. "Follow me."

The cloth divider flapped like a thick spiderweb against their heads and forearms as Yuuji led them into the ramen shop. It was a standard sort of establishment for this area: narrow interior, but brightly lit, with wood furniture that seemed to give off a cheery glow. A long counter stretched in a circle around the center aisle where workers were busy manning the food stations.

Without a word, Yuuji caught the eye of the head cook and raised two fingers to signal. The cook nodded and pointed to two open seats at the counter right in front of him.

They sat, Yuuji letting out a sigh. Itona slid onto the neighboring seat as if he'd done this a dozen times before, eyes already angled up hungrily to check the menu. He hunched forward over the counter like some kind of ghost-haired gremlin. Huh. Yuuji just couldn't figure this guy out.

Before long, the two of them tucked into their steaming bowls of ramen. In the meantime, Itona kept a running tally, saying out loud whenever Yuuji managed to score more relationship points.

"Good conversation. Plus 10 points," said Itona with a nod.

"Relatively-passable compliments," he commented after Yuuji attempted a particularly daring bit of flattery. "Plus 10 points."

A slight nose-wrinkle and a look of mild disgust. "Eh, that dirty joke didn't end up coming off super well. Minus 5 points."

What? Yuuji found himself scrambling. Any demerit of points hit like the soul-rending crash of a brass gong. After working so hard, any step backward felt like bitter failure. He even began searching through his pockets to find something that could earn "plus 20 points for a gift", once Itona had mentioned it.

Meanwhile, their conversation flowed nicely enough. Although not as smooth as, for example, Isogai, Itona appeared to have picked up on similar tricks. He spoke just enough to keep the topic moving. He would say things that got Yuuji's attention, just in time for Itona to then end each remark with an offhand comment, or backhanded compliment of sorts.

God, this kid knew how to keep Yuuji coming back for more. Honestly, as pathetic as it seemed, soon Yuuji realized he had started doing things specifically to get Itona's attention. He would order another side dish ("plus 5 points"), or casually mention the latest big celebrity he had met through his father. He even began bragging about the recent spike in his grades at school. It felt so rewarding whenever he managed to elicit anything close to a complement from Itona. Ahh, that classic appeal of the hard-to-get.

But Itona could eat like a fiend. The boy tucked in like a wolf, head bowed low as he scarfed his way through one bowl after another. Little bits of pork and assorted toppings disappeared within a never-ending stream of noodles. By the time Yuuji was on his second portion, Itona was already on his third.

Yuuji buckled down, trying to enjoy the flavor of the noodles despite his heart's competitive urge to eat quicker. What the hell? He had never known someone able to best him in the eating arts. Usually it was Yuuji's iron stomach that could out-last people, could out-eat any one of his loser friends, could leave Yuuji still ordering dessert while others groaned in pain and held their bellies around the table side.

"I need a sponsor," Itona mentioned, after chugging his way through a whole glass of water.

"Oh?" Yuuji said, rather taken in by Itona's directness. Compared to previous people whom Yuuji had been out with in the past, it was kind of refreshing to have someone be so straightforward for once. "You mean, is that the reason you're doing this whole dating-for-hire thing?"

Itona nodded. "To help make ends meet," he explained. He shifted in his seat, as if saying these kinds of things out loud for once was slightly uncomfortable for him. "I'm not…in the best of situations right now. Kind of in-between homes."

"Woah." Yuuji's eyes widened. "You mean you're not living with your family, or anything?"

Itona shook his head. The steel within his gaze told Yuuji not to ask further.

"I'm always up for good food, though. Even if it's just ramen," said Itona.

"Huh. That sucks. I'm really sorry you're in that sort of situation. It's not fair to a cool guy like you." Yuuji flashed a smile, trying to maybe get another good impression in.

Itona looked down into his bowl and nodded. He didn't assign points to that remark. He didn't say anything at all.

Yuuji frowned briefly around another mouthful of noodles. Man, what was with Class E and everyone being down on their luck? It just didn't make sense, for such bright and talented people.

In a small sweep of movement, the cook from before reached over the counter and set their bill face-down onto the wood counter.

Itona took a loud slurp of his ramen broth. "Double points if you pay for the meal."

Yuuji snatched up the tab without another word.

But even so, that wasn't going to be nearly enough. The receipt crinkled beneath Yuuji's fingers as a renewed determination rushed through him. Yuuji felt inspired, now. He would be able to raise Itona's affection points by the end of this weird-pseudo-date, for sure! "Oi, owner!" he called out, slamming his empty bowl up on the counter. "Get us a refill over here!"

After another hour or so, and many more ramen bowls later, their outing slowly began to draw to a close. Then at long last, the two of them finished, making their way back until they stood at their original meeting spot.

"There," Yuuji huffed. For some reason his heart seemed to be beating faster than usual, to the point where he could almost feel it pounding in his ears. After all that effort, he felt exhausted. Yet his heart was still floating high, soaring on the small waves of hope. "Was… Was that enough? Did you have a good time?"

"Yup," said Itona, covering his mouth with one hand in order to stifle a burp. Even his food-satisfied expression was only a few degrees less dour than normal.

"So... That was it, then? I did it?" Yuuji said, his voice shaky with anticipation. "Your affection meter. Raised to the next level?"

"..." Itona looked at him for a long moment. Then, the boy's gaze slid to the side. "Ah, yeah. About that. My affection points do increase dramatically with every date. But my level bars are so huge that they take a long time to fill up. Good luck, dude."

With that, he turned around and left, his purple headband drawing a line between his white hair and the sky.

Yuuji stood there, mouth agape. What the hell? What the actual hell? That wasn't fair at all!

But he already knew. Yuuji's mind had already started whirring, kicking around ideas about how to do better next time, what dating-game strategies would be best to turn to. He had been struck by that poison-barbed tongue, his heart wrapped in string. He would surely be back for more.

Day by day, more and more suitors just kept showing up. And day by day, more and more funds kept finding reasons to flee Yuuji's grasp.

Yuuji looked up into an intricate web of bare-leaved branches. A delicate light filtered down through the gaps and dappled along the ground. The barest hint of spring was in the air, and a small gust of wind brushed through and rustled the peaceful scene, jolting the canopy out of its previous picturesque alignment. It was a good day to sit on a park bench and watch the world turn peacefully by.

"So. Sure is nice weather today," said Yuuji. "I just love the fresh breeze, don't you?"

Silence.

Yuuji twiddled his fingers. "At least it's different from all the cold we've been having, I guess."

No response.

Yuuji's foot began to tap out an impatient rhythm on the ground. "Um… do you get out much?"

Another bout of silence. The soft sound of a pencil scritching across paper drifted through the air from over on the left side.

Finally, Yuuji snapped. "Look, are you ever planning on talking?"

"Hmm?" The companion of the day looked up from where he had been sitting at the far end of the park bench. He had long silver hair, and eyes that looked as if they were permanently tired. He had been tall when standing up, with long and gangly limbs. He sat hunched over, hands clutching a sketchbook and holding it steady, fingers constantly moving in a fluid rush between pencil and eraser, then back again. Sugaya Sousuke, he had said his name was. His dark eyes blinked. "To be honest, I was kind of hoping that I wouldn't have to."

The sound of his words drove Yuuji into shocked silence. Of all the-

"Arrgh, just forget it! This is stupid," Yuuji exclaimed, throwing his hands up and leaning back in his seat in surrender. "We shouldn't even be doing this in the first place. It's just weird."

Sugaya gave a grunt in response. "Hm."

"I should have known better from the start. People who do this kind of thing are lonely bastards, and no good can come of it. It's like, what am I even getting out of this, y'know?" Yuuji said, speaking to Sugaya without really looking at him. "This is just awkward, and it's not even like a real relationship. Really, I should just quit this whole charade right now."

"Uh-huh," said Sugaya. He swept a few more lines across the sheet of paper before pulling back for a second to observe the whole. He leaned forward and blew the eraser shavings away, then looked down at the piece. A light of satisfaction came to his eyes.

"There you go," Sugaya said. He offered the sketchbook forward, handing it to Yuuji across the expanse of brown bench. "I'm done."

Yuuji followed the motion of Sugaya's hand. When he did, he couldn't believe what he saw.

On the paper was a sketch of what could only be Yuuji's own face, seen in three-quarters profile, staring off and frowning at some place unknown. The lines were confident, varying between clear, bold strokes and softer, lighter detailed work. His cheeks were traced out in dove-gray, flowing up to where Yuuji's ears stuck out beneath his short mop of hair. Along with, of course, his baseball cap. The shading was masterful, molding the profile and bringing it to life. Colors varied from dark, powerfully-pressed pencil sweeps coloring in his hair and folds of clothing, to medium bits of skilled cross-hatching, to fainter, lighter touches. The face itself was highlighted and contoured with smudges, placed in order to form and shape the paper into the appearance of skin.

Yuuji was speechless. He had never seen himself rendered with such…careful attention before. Were his eyes really that squinty? Was his mouth really that large, and flat like a dinosaur's? And yet, even in this free-flowing, swooping style, the artist had still somehow managed to capture a hint of intelligence hidden within...

"Baseball caps are tough," Sugaya mentioned. "Something about the curve of the brim always works in a way that you least expect. I'm glad for the chance to do a real-life study, though."

He looked back down at the art, appearing to finally slip out of his artist's trance. Sugaya offered the sketchbook even further over to Yuuji. "Here, you can keep it. Hope you like black-and-white."

Yuuji took the paper, still looking down at the work as if it were a meteor fallen from the sky. After a few moments, a small smile came to Sugaya's face. "You know, this piece worked out alright, but I could do even better with prismacopic markers. But art supplies can get expensive…"

Yuuji was quiet. He gave a rough swallow. Then, he reached toward his wallet again, eyes never leaving the fluid sketch on the paper. "Wh-what brand did you say, again?"

There were others, too.

Like Chiba, the taciturn goth. From their meetings, Yuuji could tell he must be something like the strong, silent type. But that was alright. Honestly, as Yuuji had discovered, sometimes it was nice just to have someone to listen. Chiba never interrupted, and would wait patiently until Yuuji had finished pouring his heart out about whatever minor issue was current causing a major crisis in his life. When the boy did speak, it was far from a waste of words. Somehow he was always able to shoot right to the heart of the issue, no matter how rambling Yuuji's speech had been. Honestly, it was uncanny.

And Yuuji was also damn curious. He couldn't help it—when something was hidden, that just made a man want to see it all the more, right? No matter how much he teased Chiba, making the other boy squirm just enough to let the bangs shift across the bridge of his nose, Yuuji could never seen to catch a glance at his eyes. What few glimpses of his face Yuuji had been able to snag actually seemed quite good-looking. He couldn't understand why Chiba wouldn't want to show it off. Then again, it was always fun playing cat-and-mouse. Although, at this point he was beginning to wonder if Chiba maybe didn't even have eyes at all.

Yuuji made an appointment to see him again.

Then there was Terasaka—a big, buff foul-mouthed trouble-maker who seemed constantly on the verge of delinquency. He had sworn at and threatened some punk who accidentally spilled ice cream on his shirt while they were out at the shopping mall. Yuuji had just stood there and sipped his drink, watching the whole scene from the sidelines.

When Terasaka had snorted his way and asked "What're you looking at?", Yuuji couldn't help but smirk. To tell the truth, usually the muscle-head type kind of scared him. Back at the island hotel, Yuuji would have been quaking in his shoes in the face of this attitude, but now he was maybe beginning to see something in it. That kind of pig-headedness could be rather endearing, in a way. Plus, it was always nice to have some strong friends around. You never knew when someone was going to try to play 'beat up the rich kid in the alley and steal his money'.

So Yuuji added him to the roster too.

Sometimes, Yuuji would stop and reflect upon what this sort of arrangement was. The constant time-drain commitments, empty flirting, and the endless flow of gifts. Was he really this desperate?

Yes. Yes he was.

But, wait a minute, why was his personal sugar baby pool all guys?

It's not like he could really help it, Yuuji thought, fuming to himself. In the end, he didn't have much control over what that voice at the other end of the phone decided to send him. He had been given a cell phone number early on, and told that this was the number to call whenever he was 'lonely' and in need of some 'personal time'. Ugh. What an awful term to use. And whenever he would call up the line, the same operator would always answer. As far as Yuuji could tell by the person's icon, they were some red-haired guy, with a mischievous laugh and a razor-sharp smirk.

Still. There were certain reasons why Yuuji's finger kept sneaking back to press that call button. It made him feel needed. If he could be, well, a sponsor of some sort, then at least he was doing something good for somebody. And it was nice to be the center of attention for once.

Plus, dang, Yuuji had discovered that having all these Class E members around gave him an easy partner to eat with. It was nice to have some company while investigating new locations. Also, that meant he could order more food. When ordering plates for two people and not one, Yuuji could gain a wider understanding of the menu offerings, which was incredibly handy for his food blog. Sure, it was nice to eat with a girl, but guys could generally eat more, which came in handy at certain kinds of establishments.

Oh man, he was comparing the two now. What was he, one of those types now? Talking about girls and guys like different sides of a menu.

His heart sunk. Honestly, Yuuji didn't care about all this. He didn't care about being able to "buy" peoples' affection. He just wanted somebody to like him honestly for who he was.

Yuuji sat by himself at yet another diner, curled at the shoulders and hunched over the table. Under his breath, he muttered over and over again the things he was going to say, nodding to psych himself up. Enough was enough. He had never been super serious about this "arrangement" anyways, and now this was getting embarrassing. He was going to tell them today, damn it, that this was as far as things would go, and that he quit, and that after today they could not contact him any more. Yeah. That simple.

With a small chime, the door at the other end of the diner swung open.

That must be them, the companion of the day. Yuuji lifted his head. Here went nothing. And-

Oh.

It was a girl, this time.

The person seemed to be a bit out of breath, her cheeks flushed and mouth open as if she had been rushing to make it on time. The blush lit up her face with a healthy pink color. Her eyes were dark brown, and she had brown hair that was worn up in a ponytail. Her outfit was relatively stylish, made up of a large black coat and a navy skirt beneath. Black tights covered her legs, tracing over just a bit of curves. The energy around her was bright and curious, like a fawn stumbling out of the wild for the first time.

For a moment, all thoughts in Yuuji's head stalled. Everything he had wanted to say had flown right out the window. An actual girl. Finally, they had sent one to him.

At least, Yuuji was pretty sure. Using all of his skills of subtlety as a teenage boy, Yuuji tried to give a sneaky once-over with his gaze as the girl approached, focusing on certain parts of her appearance in order to check. Thankfully, with this chick's figure, there didn't seem to be as much of a chance for confusion.

The companion came over and took her seat across from Yuuji. "I'm so sorry I'm late," she apologized. "I was wrapped up in something at home, and didn't want to show up looking like I had just rolled out of bed. My name's Yada Touka."

Yuuji gave a nod. "Nice to meet you," he greeted. This new turn of events had stoked a sense of excitement within him, making his shoulders lighter, and Yuuji acting more confident in turn. "Don't worry about it. You're actually right on time."

"Oh, really? Thank goodness," said Yada. "You're so kind, sir. Honestly I just wanted to make sure that I'd be presentable for you." When she finished talking she leaned over the table, crossing her arms underneath her chest in a way that caused the fabric to bunch up and accentuate maybe a bit more than she had intended.

A spark zipped through Yuuji's stomach. A pretty girl, who was charming, well-dressed, and emphasized her bust when sitting at the dining table? Yuuji was so here for this.

Yuuji became aware of the dopey smile that had snuck onto his face. All of his frustration and worry from before had melted away, like ice in sunlight. "So. Class E?" Yuuji said, starting off with a familiar topic of conversation.

"Yup." Yada smiled at him. "And you're that awesome food guy."

"Aww, shucks." Yuuji ruffled his own hair in a fit of self-consciousness. "My reputation proceeds me, I see."

"Yes!" Yada responded. Her eyes sparkled with admiration as she looked at him. "My classmates and I think it's a great hobby. I've always wanted to ask, how do you do it? Do you decide the posting times ahead of time? Do you have it on some kind of a schedule? Is there a certain kind of cuisine that you prefer over the others?"

With that, they launched into conversation. There was nothing that Yuuji enjoyed talking about more than his food blog, and by extension, himself. In return, he made sure to ask Yada about her own hobbies. And also a bit about what it was like as a member of Class E. She did the same back, proving masterful with turns of conversation. Before long, Yuuji's mood floated light as a cloud. It had been a while since Yuuji had felt like he was actually understood.

"Now, I understand you had something you wanted to talk about?" Yada asked. She smiled. "Karma mentioned that you had said over the phone there was something important you wanted to discuss today."

"Uh…" Yuuji hesitated. After all this, suddenly it almost didn't feel right to bring that up and ruin the mood. "Well, yeah, actually. See I…kind of wanted to quit."

Yada's eyes flew wide. "Quit?"

"Yeah," Yuuji said, looking to the side so that he wouldn't have to meet her gaze. "It's just…this is weird, y'know? And I'm only getting guys—well, was—from the phone operator, so."

The crestfallen expression on Yada's face made Yuuji's stomach flop. "Oh, but are you sure you want to leave?" she asked. "Our whole class has really been enjoying your company. If there was anything more you wanted from our end, all you have to do is ask. I would hate to miss out on a person like you. "

Yuuji squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. After the girl had been so nice, it seemed like a grievous sin to break her heart like this. "It's not that," he mumbled.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to reconsider?" Yada reached across the table and took Yuuji's hand. He jumped at the sudden contact, but when he looked into Yada's face, the concern in her eyes seemed as deep and heartfelt as a well. "It's just that, Mr. Norita sir, I care deeply about this class. When I was visiting my brother in the hospital just yesterday, he asked about what kind of things we were doing. I told him about how we were trying out something new, and even caught the interest of someone from another school. You should have seen the way he laughed."

A slight tremble came to Yada's shoulders. She looked down as her voice came out like a whisper. "I'm sure...he would just be so happy…to hear that our class has such an incredible sponsor."

Yuuji's heart twinged. What gentleman could resist the sight of a young woman's tears? After so long, it was refreshing to get such a dose of femininity for once. "W-well alright," he relented. "In that case I guess I could stick around for a bit more…"

"Great!" Yada chirped, her tears at once vanishing into a sunny expression. "Then, the guys will see you later this weekend. I'm sure there are still a few available."

"Got to go now, ta!" Yada said, standing up to leave. She pushed in her chair and waved farewell before Yuuji could even open his mouth in protest. "But thanks for the talk! I'm so glad to hear about your renewed cooperation, and it was lovely to meet you! Maybe the two of us can get together again some time in the future."

With that, she turned, and in a quick scamper of skirts, was gone.

Yuuji was left alone, abandoned at the table. Only now did the subtle sting of realization start to set in. This had been nothing but a ruse. Just a cheap trick. It was still mostly male members in, what was quickly turning into, his own personal hell.

Yuuji was many things—an idiot, a jerk, a selfish brat. But he was not stupid.

He knew why he was doing this. There were draws to this sort of thing, this sort of arrangement in peoples' lives. Why else would things like compensated dating, professional cuddle partners, or host clubs even exist? There was a natural part of the human spirit that craved connection, craved a bond. And Yuuji's heart ached for such.

Sugar dating gave one a sense of being popular. Of being needed, of being important to somebody else. Having all the money and power in the world didn't mean jack squat if there wasn't somebody else there to validate it for you. And his whole life, all Yuuji had ever wanted was to have genuine friends. People who would be by his side because of who he was, not who his father was. People he could hang out with, laugh with, and make fun memories together. For the longest time, part of him had assumed that the only way to do that was to become "cool". Why else had he tried so hard to be popular for? Having someone guaranteed to give attention to you and you alone was a wonderful feeling, Yuuji had discovered. It was also a dangerously addicting one. And god knew his history with addictive things.

This kind of dating was also about a sense of companionship. And boy, was Yuuji lonely. He slumped through life, spending his days in boring classrooms pretending to get along with peers that he hated, then coming home to a mansion that was more space than substance, more rooms in it than actual people. The carpets were always plush. But the air was damn cold. The maids and other staff members would come in and out, sure, but it wasn't like they really talked to him. And his parents? Forget about it. Part of the drawbacks of having a celebrity father was that your family belonged more to the public and TV shows than they did to you. His mother was a little better, sure, but even she was shallow, always chatting on the phone and brushing Yuuji off with a 'not now, I'm busy'. On the rare occasions when they all were actually able to sit down to dinner as a family, it didn't feel that they had much in common to talk about. Given that, knowing there was someone out there whose job it was to cuddle up closer to you, to give you compliments and shower you with praise, was a pretty big deal.

But more than that—it was about the sense of being loved.

…Which was just an illusion. Damn it, Yuuji knew that. You couldn't be as perceptive as him and not catch the glint of satisfaction, the glitter in the other person's eyes when they finally received their next gift or wad of cash. But come on. Sometimes Yuuji almost felt like he had no other choice. Sometimes his heart felt so empty that he feared it would burst. He just wanted—no needed—love, like all human beings. Didn't that mean anything?

And if all these people were from Class E, then Yuuji really couldn't stop. There was still one specific person from whom Yuuji wanted to receive love.

The sound of laughter floated through the crisp winter air.

Off to the side, Yuuji wavered and wobbled his way down a path, two people hanging onto his arms. He appeared to be led around the park, one sporty-looking boy with short black hair pulling him by the wrist and saying something about going to see a baseball game so they could watch the pros practice. Meanwhile, a shorter girl with shoulder-length wavy orange hair hung off of Yuuji's other arm, pointing at something that she wanted in a nearby store window, laughing and smiling like a personified ray of sunshine. A few faint lines of exhaustion traced into Yuuji's face, and given how easily he was being swung around between the two people, his wallet must have been much lighter. But by the lift of his shoulders, and the wide dorky smile on his face, he nevertheless seemed strangely, blissfully, happy.

"This is getting out of hand…" Nagisa muttered.

From a small distance away, tucked behind a grassy swell and the curves of a gray stone bridge, most of the other members of Class E were lounging around, keeping an eye on the whole scene. But only one blue-haired boy seemed to be concerned.

To the side, Karma and Rio crouched in a huddle that seemed to be quickly approaching critical mass in terms of bad energy and an aura of mischievous plotting.

"Talk about a sucker," Karma said, flicking a small stack of bills between his fingers.

"I know right? Our little lover boy turned out to be an even better mark than we thought," said Rio, holding one hand up to her mouth while she snickered.

Nagisa blinked. "Okay, hold on a second." He held up one hand in protest. "Don't you guys think you might be going a little too far?"

"What are you saying, Nagisa?" said Rio, brushing away the concern in his voice with one bright smile. "Honestly, this is the best score our class has gotten in weeks!"

From where Nagisa was standing, he could see the students milling about in little groups here and there. As with most of their get-togethers recently, the students were talking to each other and showing off some recently-bought merchendise. Many of their watches, hairclips, and little trinkets were much shinier than they had been a few weeks ago. Beneath a nearby tree, Hara and Fuwa stood, cheerfully admiring their new bracelets together. The occasional scuffle broke out as some of the boys rushed around, trying to give gifts of their own to the girls. A short, witch-like cackle burst through the air when Yoshida and Muramatsu teamed up to present a set of pitch-black stationary to Hazama. There was a sudden thump as Kimura tripped when trying to chase after Kanzaki, a glittering cosmetic case falling from his grasp. A sudden shout broke out as Okano delivered yet another perfectly-timed gymnast kick into Maehara's face, who had apparently tried to claim that a gift such as his deserved a kiss as a reward.

"Oh c'mon, lighten up Nagisa," Rio cajoled. "It's good seduction practice. We get to actually put some of our classroom techniques to the test! And Bitch-sensei did say that we could apply for 'extra credit', right?" She shrugged. "So now we're all punking this guy as a group."

To the side, just on the border of being close enough to be considered part of the conversation, Yada gave a nod in affirmation. A small, self-satisfied smile was on her face.

"Plus, it gets us more funding for weapons to use against Korosensei," Itona chimed in from a few paces downwind. "If we're going to start taking this assassination seriously, then we're going to need everything we can get. Better equipment would open up more strategies to use against a super-being moving at Mach 20. That results in more likelihood that we'll succeed."

"Exactly," Rio replied.

A frown rose to Nagisa's lips. "I don't know…"

"Hey, c'mon," Rio said, her arm snaking all too easily around Nagisa's shoulders. "It's all for the best. Besides, even though we're supposed to be getting money from the government as a reward for all of this-" her voice dipped for a moment in order to imply the assassination, "-there's still no guarantee of that actually coming through, right? Those government types love to find loopholes in everything. And even then, that kind of cash split among the twenty-eight of us wouldn't last forever."

She pulled away and cheered, clapping in delight. "That's why we've got to get a good head start on things now!"

"Alright." Nagisa shook out his shoulders, as if to get rid of the residual feeling on them. He shot a glance toward the other students. "And you guys? What are you getting out of this?"

Maehara flinched under the weight of his stare. "Whatever, man." He shrugged. "It's just fun, that's all."

Next to him, Isogai made a sheepish expression. "Having his patronage did help my family out some."

Yada looked away too. "Well," she reluctantly added. "My little brother was so happy with that toy I was able to give him…"

When Nagisa turned back, Karma and Rio were crouched on the ground again, snickering as the two of them flipped through a catalogue of military weapons (a special anti-korosensei rubber and bb-material edition). By Karma's side lay a few bags of assorted pranking tricks, their contents spilling out onto the ground. Judging by the pamphlets that he was now placing over the original armaments magazine, they were probably looking forward to testing those out on Yuuji, too.

"Argh!" Nagisa let out a sudden yell of frustration, both hands coming to his head. All at once, a dozen or so pairs of eyes turned to him. The uncharacteristic outburst seemed to have echoed across the entire clearing. Nagisa's arms flailed for a moment. "This has to stop! Aren't these just selfish reasons?"

Nagisa looked around the group in a circle, the sharpness in his gaze demanding an answer.

No voices spoke up in reply. Every person stopped their shenanigans and looked away. They squirmed, as if they couldn't look him in the eye.

"You're just taking advantage of whatever you can. Of someone that I consider a friend," Nagisa said, his voice becoming deeper for a moment with a certain sort of power. "Isn't this enough?"

A few students began to mutter. Some embarrassed glances were shot here and there throughout the group. Words and thoughts appeared to be wandering, concerns left unsaid and worries unexpressed now floating to the surface of peoples' brains and sticking there.

Karma rolled his eyes. "That's our Nagisa. Always a bleeding heart for those who bleed for you first."

Rio cast a look around the surrounding clearing. The muttering continued in a hushed whisper in the background, some of the students beginning to shift on their feet. Finally, Rio nodded. "Okay, okay," she said with a sigh. "Chill out. Look, here's what we're going to do…"

"No way", Yuuji groaned. "How many of you are there now?"

Various chatter filled the air to a bursting cacophony, like the babbling of dozens of great parrots. Everywhere a person looked, the room was full. Members of Class E lounged around, standing in groups and chatting among themselves, or sitting in chairs, a few of them even leaning against a table. The human mass filled up almost the entire banquet area of the restaurant Yuuji had chosen. And, as was the usual in Yuuji's life, the majority of those in attendance were men. All the students were busy mingling, laughing and talking, taking pictures of themselves and teasing each other as they brought cups of juice up to their lips.

"Yo Muramatsu, what's happenin' man? Yoshida's over there."

"Takebayashi! How's it going?"

"Isogai! Didn't think you'd make it," said Maehara, throwing one arm over his friend's shoulder. "Welcome to the party!"

"Chiba! What's up?"

"Woah, Mimura, you're here too?"

"Don't ask me," Mimura said with a heavy sigh. "I have no idea how I got here."

From where Yuuji stood on the sidelines, paralyzed in the face of what monstrous situation had arisen, he could overhear snatches of conversation. Jokes. Some sharing of information. Students bragging about what stores they had been to, what items they had seen and managed to convince Yuuji to buy right out of the window display in the mall. Another student standing next to them whining, saying that it was no fair, you said that I could take him around town next. The sound of that made Yuuji go red in the face.

"Alright, listen!" Yuuji spoke. He tried to make his voice boom like his father's was able to, but it came out more like a squeak instead. "You people need to go home, this isn't-"

He broke off as somebody barged into him from the side, another boy suddenly tripping into view and swearing slightly under his breath.

"Whoops, sorry," the kid muttered. He was an unremarkable boy with a close-cropped buzzcut and plain facial features. His clothes were a school uniform just like all the other Class E kids, though rumpled and dirty around the sleeves, as if he were used to rolling them up or sneaking into questionable places. Although there was nothing that really stood out about him, something still rubbed Yuuji the wrong way. Maybe it was the manic glint deep within his eyes. Either way, Yuuji couldn't stop himself from an immediate feeling of dislike.

"Hey guys!" the boy called out, running over to join the class. "What'd I miss?"

"Oh, Okajima," one of the boys in the crowd replied. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to join in!" Okajima protested. "Seriously, why the hell didn't you tell me about this earlier? I know this is a den of debauchery and forbidden delights, but that doesn't mean we have to let go of all our standards!" He whined, immediately attaching himself to the nearest arm within reach and clinging to it as if it were a telephone pole. Unfortunately, the nearest arm just happened to be Terasaka's. Terasaka scowled, glaring down at the new parasite clutching at his limb, pulling down with all of the kid's body weight and wiggling like someone who had seen too many bad depictions of love-struck schoolgirls. "We gotta get some more variety going, here. It's a total... well, you know, fest in here! When did you all lose your dedication to the charms of the female flesh?"

Yuuji looked on, his face pulled down in a disturbed expression. Yup, he definitely did not want this guy. Yet, he had still installed himself with all the others.

"C'mon Okajima, get real," one of the other students said. "You're probably just here for the all the naughty stuff."

Okajima's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "There's naughty stuff?!"

"There's NO naughty stuff!" Yuuji barked, turning from red to scarlet now.

"Aww." Okajima pouted. "And here I was thinkin' there might something good."

"Yeah exactly," laughed Maehara, reaching out to tap Okajima on the shoulder. "Admit it, you're here for some kind of perverted reason."

At this heinous accusation, Okajima just gave a grin and shrugged. "C'mon man, why'd you have to blow my cover?" Still clinging to Terasaka's arm, he brought out his other hand from where it had been hidden behind his back. A small camcorder was nestled within his palm. "Honestly, I just came here to shoot some film, and maybe catch something dirty on tape."

"What?!" yelped Yuuji.

"Well, you never know where good inspiration will come from." He blinked up at Yuuji. "Also, I've never been in a harem before, but it sounds hot."

"What are you-" Yuuji shouted, "I don't have a harem! Get out!"

"And YOU-" Yuuji pointed, whirling around to single out one of the girls lurking on the side. She had long, mousey light-brown hair, with bangs that hung in a straight line over her face, framing a stern but noble expression. "What are YOU doing here?"

"Yeah Kataoka," one of the boys called out. "We thought this was a guys-only club."

Kataoka hunched down even farther in her seat. She looked off to the side. "I've got problems of my own, you know," she muttered. "People are always going after me. And I just want to be free from all the girls and love letters, for once…"

"Hey, at least we haven't been just messing around, unlike you boys," scoffed a purple-haired girl. Fuwa, Yuuji recalled. "All of you guys keep squandering all the profits, using the money that you've earned in order to ask us out and buy things for us. Then you find yourselves flat broke, and go crawling back for more. It's a pathetic cycle."

Some other girls nodded.

"What? No fair," whined Maehara. "How else are we supposed to impress you?"

"No one asked you to!" someone snapped. "None of us asked for you guys to start doing all these things to get our attention! Look, if we want to buy something in a store, we can get it ourselves, thank you very much."

Yuuji stared at the group as they rapidly descending into arguments, feeling like the captain of the titanic watching an iceberg. Exasperation hung heavy in his arms and weighed down his tongue, making him too mute to speak. How did things end up like this? He had just wanted to date one cute chick from Class E, and now he was surrounded by… by… a male harem!

"...But maybe we should get Yuuji's opinion on this."

All eyes suddenly turned to him, making Yuuji jolt a little in place.

"I mean, he has been the one taking care of us this whole time. But we've never really stopped to take his own feelings into account."

"Exactly," piped up another voice in the crowd. "We spent so much time thinking about our own ends, not his. Even if we did try to give stuff in return."

"Yeah, maybe this was too shallow."

"What do you think, Yuuji?"

"Um… Uh…" said Yuuji, shifting on his feet.

"Wow," came a lilting voice. When Yuuji turned to look, he recognized Karma. The red-haired boy was relaxing in one of the chairs, head tilted back as he surveyed the scene with the air of a king watching over one of his territories. "You sure let our class play with you for a very long while, huh? I don't know whether to be impressed, or concerned for your self-esteem. Are you sure you're not a bit of a financial masochist?"

Before Yuuji could snap back in anger, however, someone else spoke.

"Yeah, I mean-" piped up Isogai. The boy looked at Yuuji in a way that could only be described as apologetic. "It was fun for a little while. But it would be wrong of us to draw this out for much longer under false pretenses. That's not what good friends do, right?"

A small ripple spread through the crowd as the class E students started to mumble among each other. In a few moments, the bob of heads nodding turned the banquet room into a slowly rolling sea. Somehow, Yuuji got the vague sense that they had already discussed this matter before.

"I never really thought about how he might feel, to be honest..."

"Maybe we have been going too far."

"Just a little bit."

"A little?!"

One of the boys, Yoshida or something, nodded. "Yeah," he said. He turned to Yuuji. "Also I mean, dude, how have you been able to afford all this stuff? Haven't your parents had any questions about what you've been spending your money on?"

Yuuji hung his head. "My parents haven't noticed anything yet."

An eerie hush swept through the crowd. The members of Class E stood in silence, all apparently united in wondering just how the hell rich this kid could be. The Power of Unlimited Credit Cards sure was scary.

"Well, all things aside," said Isogai again. He ruffled the back of his hair with one hand. "It still wasn't very nice of us to take advantage of your kindness like that."

"Yeah." A few nods spread through the crowd again. The gazes staring out at Yuuji seemed to grow a touch kinder.

"So, some of us wanted to apologize."

"We figured it was better to do this in person."

With a sweep, the front row of Class E members all bowed at once. Their classmates behind them followed a moment later. "We're sorry," came the echoing of at least two dozen honest voices.

For a moment Yuuji's world seemed to stand still, as he looked out over a mass of smiling faces. Somehow, he just couldn't bring himself to view this with a bad feeling. He hadn't had this many people looking happy at him in a long time. And with everyone that he had met through this, all genders included, watching, he felt…received. As if he were being "seen" all the way down to his core. It was a strange yet wonderful feeling. Yuuji never wanted to let it go.

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving one hand and lowering his head so that the brim of his baseball cap could hide his eyes. He was not feeling emotional, dammit. "You're forgiven. Let's just call it even."

An array of cheerful faces met his remark. "Still, now what?" brought up someone in the crowd. At once, the spell seemed to be broken, everyone's attention breaking off and redirecting in myriad different ways again. "What are we supposed to do from here on?"

From deep within the crowd, Chiba frowned. "It doesn't feel right to just leave things off like this."

"I know, right?" agreed Okajima. "Especially since he's become so involved with our class already." In a voice so quiet that Yuuji almost couldn't hear, he muttered. "And that's, well you know, a little dangerous…"

One of the girls, Hazama, nodded. "We should keep an eye on him," she intoned.

"Yeah, I don't want to let him go," came a whine from the outer part of the crowd. "He's useful- gwEH!" Maehara's speech cut off as someone jabbed him roughly in the ribs.

Yuuji watched as the back-and-forth began again, the mob turning inward on itself in order to debate. His lungs itched with a sudden urge to say something, anything.

The image from before rose to the front of his mind again: that room full of praise and gentle smiles.

"I- I know!" Yuuji interrupted. "I know what we could do."

The muttering fragmented and broke apart. People turned to him, curiosity lingering on their features.

Yuuji took a breath. He was nervous, but it was fine. It almost felt like he was glowing, a certain light shining from within his eyes. He felt inspired, and he both couldn't and wouldn't stop now.

"There are still ways that I can be involved," he rambled, trying to explain, "I mean, with continuing to support you guys and all. Even if it's not as part of silly dates and stuff. Of course, if funding is what you need, then I've got that. I know some of you hoping to buy some hard-to-get-stuff from overseas. Although, maybe we could make it so that the funding thing is only every once in a while. And only if you've got a legitimate reason."

"But as for anything else, there are other ways I can help. You need an information network? I'm your guy. With my presence online, my fluency with technology, and stupid powers of observation and lie-detecting, I could be an excellent sidekick. I'm very good at stalking people," Yuuji assured.

"Need social connections, too? A bridge into high-class areas? I can hook you up. There's nothing that a rich kid attending celebrity parties can't find out." At the end of his speech, Yuuji's shoulders sagged. "And, um," he said, feeling both pathetic and hopeful at the same time, "if you ever just wanted to take a break, and maybe relax for a while at a café somewhere…well, my food blog is always looking for new entries."

Then Yuuji stood up tall, raising his chin. "I might not be a human piggy bank," he declared. "But I can still support you as a fellow human being."

The room hushed for a moment after he had finished speaking, as if the walls themselves were taking the time to ingest his words. Then, slowly, a few members of Class E began to shoot glances between each other again. A small smile or two rose to the surface.

"Well. That was powerful."

"So, lover boy doesn't just want to be a pretty face on the sidelines?"

"What an interesting offer…"

The students mused among themselves. Leaders like Karma and Isogai talked with each other. Gradually, the voices started to sound excited, beginning to pick up speed and energy.

"Maybe a human lie-detector would be a good thing."

"Our only tech guy is basically Takebayashi, at the moment."

"And at least this way he's volunteering, too, so he's not being conned out of anything."

"I say let's do it. All good assassins have their outside resources, after all."

Yuuji blinked. Yuuji had no idea what the group meant by "assassin", but it sounded cool. He did his best to bring a pleasant yet earnest expression to his face, trying to look helpful, like a human garden tool.

At last, a few faces in the crowd singled him out. "You'd really be willing to do that? Add in your skills from time to time?" asked one of the students.

Yuuji nodded. "I'd be happy to."

"So, you'd still be helping with things from outside the class?" Karma asked. "Being our group's little lapdog."

Yuuji winced. "I- I wouldn't call it being a 'dog', really. More like an interested third party. It's just that I'm really grateful to you guys, and um, if there's anything I can do…" He squared his shoulders. "I just want to support Class E."

"Like an associate," Kurahashi chimed. Others nodded in agreement.

"That's how we'll do it," said Yuuji, feeling the light of victory dawn across his face. "That's how I'll spoil you."

"Alright! It's official then," cheered a girl with long blonde hair, Rio. She grabbed the nearest napkin and waved it like a judge wielding a gavel. "Welcome to the team, lover boy!"

"That sounds nice," said a shorter, green-haired girl towards Yuuji's left. He had heard others call her Kayano. "An official Class E associate."

Kayano smiled toward him. "And a friend."

"Yesss," Maehara crowed on the sidelines, breaking the mood as he raised his arms in glee. "We still get to be spoiled rotten!"

This set off more arguing and teasing in a surge around the room, a cacophony of sound tumbling out. A few people laughed, patting Maehara on the back. A small league of women, led by Okano, were already marching up and disparaging him for daring to have such lack of character. Everything dissolved back into excited blabbering, different groups discussing and debating about this new addition to the Class E team. Within the pockets of tension, someone brought out- What? Oh, it was just a fake rubber knife, phew. But others responded in no time, pulling out weapons of their own. Before Yuuji could blink, they had all gotten into a reckless fighting pile, limbs flailing and voices pitching up into shouts. On the sidelines, Okajima snapped a pic.

"Everyone sure likes to go straight for the kill, don't they?" came a soothing voice, accompanied by an amused sigh.

The familiar sound of it made the hair raise on the back of Yuuji's arms. He turned to his right. Standing there was Nagisa.

The boy looked exactly like how Yuuji remembered. He stood relatively close to Yuuji's height, with a soft, rounded face that could have been mistaken either way in terms of gender. His eyes were as kind and refreshing as two lakes. His powder-blue hair was still worn in pigtails. Somehow, he had managed to sneak up next to Yuuji without him becoming aware. But that wasn't a bad thing. No, in fact it felt rather reassuring to have him there. And Yuuji had to admit—seeing Nagisa in a blue vest and baggy cargo pants went a long way towards reaffirming what he had told Yuuji before, back at that grassy clearing during the fall festival.

Yuuji said something really intelligent, like "Um."

Nagisa nodded in greeting. "Good to see you again."

"Uh. Yeah. Hi." This was stupid. Yuuji couldn't breathe. He couldn't move, or maybe it was more that he didn't want to move, couldn't tear his eyes away for fear that this sight would disappear for real the moment he did. Nagisa was here. Nagisa was right here.

This was the person that Yuuji had wanted to meet.

"It's been a pretty wild ride, hasn't it?" said Nagisa.

"Yup."

Nagisa's expression became sheepish. "Look, I'm really sorry for my classmates causing you trouble. This whole thing might have been my fault, in a way."

"What?" Yuuji shook his head, incredulous. "No, don't worry about it. You didn't do anything wrong, Nagisa."

"Still. If there's anything I could do…"

"Absolutely not," Yuuji affirmed. "Look, I'm the one who asked for this, right? It was nice to, well, have real friends for once. It's really stupid, but I supposed I was feeling a bit…lonely." Yuuji tugged nervously on the edge of his cap. "Then the next thing I knew, things turned out like this."

A flood of bitterly-familiar shame welled up inside Yuuji's gut. Yuuji hung his head. A self-deprecating smile came to his face. "I guess in the end I've just ended up being an idiot again."

"Eh," said Nagisa dismissively. "You did good things. You definitely helped some of us out a lot. Plus, we were all kind of in on the act, so."

He gave an easy shrug. "Don't worry about it."

And for a moment, Yuuji almost believed him enough to try.

Nagisa shifted on his feet. "Umm. Actually, to tell you the truth, I came over here to ask you about something."

"Oh?" Yuuji perked up automatically. He couldn't help himself. It seemed incredible that Nagisa would want to speak with him, or even be associated with him at all, in fact. "What's up?"

"Well… The thing is…" Nagisa wouldn't look him in the eye. "You know that whole sugar-dating thing you had arraigned through Karma? I wanted to make you a similar deal."

He took a breath. "Back at that Fall Festival, someone once tried to convince me to offer you a 10,000-yen-per-date deal. I'd like to extend that offer."

"What?" Yuuji responded, his eyes going wide once the words had a chance to sink in. "Oh, god. No, Nagisa, I can't, that's not… You shouldn't listen to people who want to use you like that-"

"It's okay! Easy there," said Nagisa, waving his hands as if to dispel all assumptions. "That's not actually what I meant. I just thought that, well… What if we did? Except, this time I'll be the one paying you. Or at least, going on a date that's worth about 10,000 yen." He nodded back towards the still-scuffling group. "We managed to 'recover' some funds from all the boys here, and well. I wanted to do something nice. To make this up to you, somehow."

"Haha, see? Now you get to be the one spoiled for once," Nagisa said, adding in a breathy laugh as if some attempt to get rid the awkwardness.

Yuuji stared. He couldn't believe it. Time seemed to have slowed down, the air around them feeling like it was part of a fishbowl, all warping at the edges and strange. He had to swallow three times before his throat would allow him to get out anything but frog sounds.

"Are you sure?" asked Yuuji. "This isn't a case of you being like…" He raised a thumb towards Karma, pointing him out discreetly over Nagisa's shoulder. "-pimped out by that Karma guy, is it?"

Nagisa's face flushed scarlet. "Umm…pimping is a bit of a harsh word to describe it." Then he shook his head to show Yuuji that he was serious. "But no, I'm doing this voluntarily. Honest. This is an offer of my own free will."

"So," Nagisa said, sticking out his hand. "Deal?"

Yuuji didn't have to reply. He didn't even have to think. He simply held the sight of that outstretched hand in his mind, savoring it for a few seconds longer. Then he did what felt right.

"Deal," Yuuji said, reaching out.

He took Nagisa's hand in his. Then, at last, Nagisa smiled at him, a sight that filled Yuuji's heart with butterflies and reminded him of one dark, hazy scene in a nightclub, so very long ago. It was exactly the same kind of smile as from back then, every bit as bright, kind, and genuine as all the others.

Now that was priceless.

Afterword: It was a real struggle to get back into writing after so long, but this ended up being a ton of fun to write! ^^ I hope you all enjoy it, too.

i had to research actual stuff about sugar babies for this, i hope you're all happy.

*I translated the whole 'He's an ikemen!' phrase re: Isogai into more natural English, as "what a man!" Still mentioned the phrase itself, though, for consistency and since Yuuji would definitely know it.

**The missing back pockets on Isogai's outfit are meant to be a small reference to the spinoff series KoroQ, where his glitch power is that the back half of his outfit always disappears.