So you're the pitiful hero they sent to stop me. I Dr. Proton, will soon rule the world!
You're wrong, Proton breath. I'll be done with you and still have time to watch Oprah!
Oprah: Duke Nukem, what's the difference in aliens and maggots? Duke: Nothing. That's why I called them "alien maggots" when I was going to the toxic dump. Oprah: What do you think is a booby trap? Duke: An ambush of women! Oprah: OK then, what do alien maggots have to do with a booby trap? Duke: That's another definition of booby trap. I like puns.
Oprah: What was the first thing you said when you started in Duke Nukem 2? Duke: I'm back! Oprah: Then what did you say when you got into the Pigsty? Duke: I'll be back! Oprah: What did you say when you saw Duke Nukem 2 in the arcade from the Million Dollar Theater? Duke: Hmm, I don't have time to play with myself!
Oprah: What was the name of your new book in Duke Nukem 2? Duke: Why I'm so Great. Oprah: Who was the three-legged dog that saved a baby? Duke: That was a canine casualty from Duke Burger. Oprah: Why was there a four mile wide UFO flying over Los Angeles? Duke: That is where I was abducted. "Other news," what a joke!
Oprah: What would you do if you saw a camera in here? Duke: I would shoot the camera. It's how I got through the second dimension. Oprah: If you got the N, then what would you get next? Duke: The U is next. Wait, which game? Of course, the second one! Oprah: Which level was the easiest to pass with your name? Duke: Game 1, episode 1, level 6. Easy answer.
Oprah: What disappointed you most about the first game you were in? Duke: I didn't find my name in every level. Oprah: Then what disappointed you most about the second game? Duke: Episode 4 didn't have an earthquake. Oprah: Now, what was most disappointing about the third game? Duke: Those alien maggots shot up my ride twice! And once was bad enough.