A/N: I found this while clearing out my old computer files and can't believe I never published it! It was written over two years ago, set after that lovely scene with Jac, Ollie and the muffin. Enjoy!

"See you around, Naylor"

Jac's eyes followed her mentee as he sprung from the sofa and made his way out of her office. Probably for the last time. In fact, it was probably the last time she would ever see him again. Despite his previous, nonchalant words indicating that their paths would indeed cross again, she didn't believe it. There were too many demons lurking in the walls of this building for him to return. Too many ghosts. It was best if he left and never came back, at least that's what she told herself. That didn't stop the lump in her throat forming as she gazed upon the now mature adult she had once known as a happy-go-lucky boy playing pretend. She had watched as life had done its worst to break the happiest person she knew into a million pieces. Two deaths in as many years. It would almost be ridiculous if it wasn't so true.

She placed her hand on her bump, concealed under her baggy attire, trying to seek comfort from the unexpected wave of emotion that hit her as she learnt of Oliver's departure from Holby. From her life.

She loved him. Not like she loved Joseph; that eternal, aching love that still lingered long after the scars had healed and events had faded from the forefront of her mind.

Not like she loved Jonny, the passionate, burning love that had somewhat receded into a pure, romantic need to have him by her side, always.

She loved him like a parent loves a child - unconditionally - but not like she loved this bump under her skin. So tiny and perfect and unexpected. As fragile as her mood swings had been of late.

No, she loved Oliver Valentine, the boy that life so cruelly wounded because despite everything, they had been there for one another throughout the hardest periods of their lives. They may not have openly spoken about it, but they had been there. For Jac, that was enough. A glimmer of normality in the darkest of places. She was his mentor and that's how it had been for over four years. Both using patients, promotions and pretence to shamelessly climb the ladder of success while simultaneously escaping the unforgiving pain that threatened to engulf them if they didn't fight. They had to fight, there was no other way.

"Other people are easier to fix". That's what she'd said. At the time he hadn't really understood. It just made her look more vulnerable, human and quite frankly, even more kissable. Now however, as the door swings shut on her colleague for the final time, she is certain he understands. He may not comprehend or be able to explain this, she can't even do that yet. But he gets it, and that's enough for her.

Jac looked down towards the muffin within her hands, suddenly feeling nauseous. She discarded the cause of her uncharacteristic disappearance from the ward. It wouldn't be long until people started to question her strange behaviour. She knew this of course, but every time she thought about telling people her brain refused to cooperate. It was a miracle she'd managed to force the words out and tell him. She didn't know why she'd told him. The logical part of her concluded it was because he was leaving. But why burden him with her secret if he wasn't going to be around to see it? It was less risky, her mind justified. If he wasn't there, no chance he could spill the beans. Still, there was something about the whole situation she couldn't fathom and that frustrated her more than anything.

She began thinking about making her way back to work. But just as she was lethargically hauling herself from the sofa, the door swung open again.

"Ah so this is where you've been hiding yourself away"

Jonny stood, looking bemused, leaning against the entrance.

"I don't hide" she snapped, springing from the sofa in order to be level with him.

"Have you heard? About Valentine?" he lowered his voice, hoping to sound intriguing.

"What?"

"Turns out we have a little plagiarist on our hands." He explained "Y'know that presentation thingy for CT2? He copied the lot from Tara. I mean I knew he'd done some shady things in the past but-"

"Jonny he's leaving" She cut him off, not wanting to know or hear about any of it.

"Oh" was all he could manage. He brought his hand up absentmindedly to his face, something he always did when he was uneasy.

"Yeah" Jac replied, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze.

He sighed and shut the door behind him, cutting them off from the world. She remained silent as he took up the same position the Ollie had done, not five minutes ago.

"You gonna miss him?" he asked

There was a silence as she considered this.

"No" she shook her head and sat back down next to him on the sofa

They were closer than they had been in months and both felt the significance of the moment.

"There's always another Junior" she stated, not convincing either of them.

"Probably for the best" Jonny muttered looking towards the floor

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

They were both quiet. Jonny had always been fascinated by Jac's treatment of Oliver. He might even go as far to admit as jealous. The sheer will she had for him to succeed and prove himself to others meant she had paid him an awful lot of attention. He always assumed it was for her own, personal gain but now thinking about it, realised she did actually care for him. He hoped she knew that he knew because he wasn't about to tell her.

Jonny reached for her hand, laying next to his and squeezed it gently. She lifted her gaze and for the first time realised the hot, stinging tears dancing in her eyes. Jac bit the inside of her cheek as she had been taught way back when she was a child not to cry. His pitying look was almost too much and she almost broke down right there and then.

"Idiot." she bitterly declared under her breath. She looked away and wiped at her eyes furiously.

Jonny wasn't sure who was the target of this insult. Ollie, him, herself? It didn't really matter. He knew her defence mechanisms better than to assume she meant it. She placed her head on his shoulder and he smiled. She hadn't done anything like that since they were together. He looked towards her and it suddenly occurred to him how worn out she looked. Her eyes fluttering as she tried to keep exhaustion at bay.

He glanced around the room. The unexplained darkness enhancing the abnormality of the situation. His eyes falling upon the half eaten muffin discarded on the table holding the television.

"You've been eating again" his tone covered in fake surprise. He feigned taking her temperature.

"Oh shut up" she murmured. "This is your fault as much as mine"

"I guess so" he reconciled, stroking her hair.

There was another pause. I love you. That's what he should have said. He should have filled the void in the empty space with those three, small words. He should have put his arms around her and told her everything would be fine, Ollie would come back and she'd stop feeling sick every day and this baby was the best thing that had ever happened to him and... there was so much to say. He didn't of course. Instead, Jac got to her feet and began to leave the office.

"No rest for the wicked" her voice travelled from the corridor over her shoulder

"Back to work then" his voice was a slightly strange tone

"You got it" she turned around to face him, giving him the smallest smile.